Monthly Archives: December 2016

2016 Boyhouse Year In Review

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Everyone is talking about kicking 2016 to the curb, and certainly it was a strange year, with sadness and loss and disheartening attacks. There were lots of tragedies this year, but as always, there is light and love and laughter to be had too. 2016 had some tough losses in the Boyhouse, but there were also many wonderful, hilarious, and silly happenings.

January

I started the year by detoxing my life, and then I was forced into a Little House on the Prairie situation in which I did not have electricity for a whole day. My husband bought me an ice cream maker, which literally changed our entire lives and has since proven to be one of my most favourite small appliances ever.

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February

I attempted to Kondo my clothes, which ended badly. I had an anxiety dream about Cookie Monster, which may have been related to terribly uncomfortable Pap tests. And it was a Leap Year!

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I also discovered they still make Fun Dip!

March

I talked about beauty products, wine, and eye bags, and wondered what life would be like if we could walk around with a permanent Instagram filter. I had a mammogram and was struck by my inability to follow basic instructions. And we went to Maui, and I briefly wondered what life would be like as a motivational speaker.

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April

I talked about weight loss and my love of clothes, I found out that the taco and eggplant emojis do not mean tacos and eggplants, and I went on two field trips to the Police Interpretive Centre.

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It was also an incredibly warm spring and my Mayday bloomed in April, which has never happened before!

May

My kids and husband cleaned the entire house for Mother’s Day and it was way better than a Mother’s Day tea. My sweet friend Alison passed away, and she is much missed. I went to my second-last Volunteer Tea, at which my son was emcee.

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And the lilacs bloomed in May!

June

I had more than one person become weirdly passionate about my eyebrows, which is when I discovered that eyebrows are really a “thing” these days, there was a Mafia-like turf war in my backyard, waged by neighbourhood birds, and my sweet baby cousin got married!

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We did NOT stay in this motel, but it does have In-Room Coffee! And Vacancy!

July

I became extremely disheartened by people and a heated discussion about reclining airplane seats, I learned how to bake a pie, and I found lots to smile about in little things.

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My roses had a record year!

August

I read the Life Changing Magic of Tidying-Up and it magically changed my life, Barkley got very sick – but then recovered, no need for panic – and I continued to Kondo everything, and I made a resolution about clothing purchases.

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September

I took the car for an oil change and remembered why I never take the car for an oil change, I had a slight blip in my magical tidying-up journey, I did that “three fictional characters that describe me” AND my friend’s sister let me in on the secret to a shiny, beautiful fridge and it CHANGED MY LIFE. 

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October

My attempts at getting to my in-laws’ for Thanksgiving weekend kept getting thwarted by the weather, although it did work out in the end, I talked about not buying things not on my lists, and also how hard it is to work customer service, and I had confessions to make.

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November 

There was – and still is – a vanilla shortage, which meant it was all Panic at the Disco around here, I went on a field trip in which hundreds of fifth-and-sixth graders were given NOISE MAKERS, and we said goodbye to my father-in-law.

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Also: my second-last book fair!

December

We went to Orlando, and it was a fabulous trip, I talked about Disney’s Animal Kingdom and also Universal Studios. We also did Christmassy stuff, of course.

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AND AND AND! I became a Registered Yoga Teacher!

So that’s about it for the Boyhouse for 2016! See you next year. May 2017 bring us all health, happiness, and lots of laughter. xoxo

It’s a Festivus for the Rest of Us.

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I am BUZZING on caffeine. It’s 7:14, I’ve been awake for over three hours, and I have people coming over this afternoon. Whee!

Note: I say this like it’s something unusual but the fact is I am almost always awake around 4, so it’s just like a regular day, with the exception that it is December 23:

I’ve been on a bit of a tear this week, with baking too many things and cleaning way too much. On Wednesday, I had that feeling that all is a shambles and so I recruited the children for some good, old-fashioned housecleaning. You know the kind: scrubbing down the kitchen cupboards, cleaning behind the garbage cans, dusting all surfaces and baseboards, and re-sealing all the granite, all to the tune of “80s Yacht Rock” on Spotify. The children went along with it, probably in fear for their lives.

I am a very organized person and I’ve been “ready” for Christmas for a while – gifts purchased long ago, wrapped weeks ago, baking done (and consumed by the children, so this is more of an ongoing thing). However, purchasing groceries is not something that can really be done in advance, unless you’re into rotten vegetables and mouldy bread. So, yesterday I took a deep breath and went to Superstore.

Holy moly, even in the morning it was insane: the parking lot was packed, people were everywhere. I listened to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch “Good Vibrations” on my way, just to get myself in the right head space. The only way out is through, I said to myself, as I breathed deep ujjayi breaths, maneuvering into a parking spot far from the entrance. I vowed to just smile at everyone I saw, to really embody the Christmas spirit.

The first person I smiled at was an old man at the cart corral. This led to a brief flirtation – what can I say, I’m irresistible to the septuagenarian set – and I noted that there were very few cars in the corral, an ominous sign. The old man wished me a Merry Christmas and said “I hope we all took our patience pills!” as we went in. I’m going in.

It was pretty crazy but I kept smiling like an escaped lunatic who just wanted some nice produce and also some Motrin and tofu. It doesn’t matter how long this takes, I kept thinking to myself as I tried to wheel my giant cart around a crowd of other carts and an employee with a giant dolly of items to restock, It doesn’t matter in the long run. I can be here all morning. What difference will it make? I did make it out, finally, and then I went to the liquor store along with – apparently – every old person within a ten kilometre radius. What is with all the elderly? This isn’t Co-Op.

One of my favourite wines, as I’ve said before, is Middle Sister. It speaks to me, as a middle sister (well, middle child and sister so technically Middle Sister is an accurate description). I love how they often change the labels. My favourite was “After waking up at Stupid O’Clock this morning, I’m looking forward to Wine O’Clock tonight.” which aptly describes every Friday of my life. But they’ve changed the labels again and this is my new favourite:

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Santa Baby, just slip a bottle of Cabernet under the tree, for me. Been an awful good girl.

All of which is to say I am now completely “ready for Christmas,” food and all. There were many, many awful things in 2016, but there is much still to celebrate, and I hope you and yours can enjoy a peaceful, joyful, wonderful holiday season, with or without feats of strength and airing of grievances. xo

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Is Rusty still in the Navy?

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Today the 13 day cold snap has finally, finally, FINALLY lifted, and the temperature soared 20 degrees – still below freezing and with very high, cold winds, but 20 degrees nonetheless. I should not at all have been surprised, then, to see two people in shorts in the Co-Op parking lot. Shorts. In below-freezing weather. Oh, Calgary. So full of crazy people. Lovely people, too, since I took Barkley to the off-leash today and at least a dozen trees had been decorated for the holidays. So festive and pretty! Unfortunately some of the ornaments were flying off the trees due to gale-force winds but hopefully that can be put right on a calmer day.

It’s a good thing for Barkley that the snap has ended. Yesterday I went to take him for a walk around the block and he was so excited to get out of the house, he pulled on his leash as we were crossing the street. It was very icy and his unexpected pulling took me right off of my feet. I landed full-force on my left buttock/ hip and if I was elderly, I’d probably have broken something. As it was I probably looked like the star of a viral YouTube video, sliding around while trying to stand up, with the dog circling around me in a concerned panic. This is your fault, Barkley, now stop winding your leash around my body. Luckily no cars zoomed around the corner to run me over like a flattened cartoon of myself.

The kids are off school now; Friday was their last day. THE SIXTEENTH. I would greatly prefer them to be at school for a few days yet, but when I voiced this online I was chided for not thinking of the teachers and educational assistants, who might like a few days off pre-Christmas, or of families who travel for the holidays, or of ANYONE BUT MYSELF. It’s true. But this is the thing about public policy; it is, sadly, a zero-sum game. There is always someone who is more happy and someone who is less happy. And in any case, I have mental plans for the kids and I – for one thing, now that it’s not minus 30 the kids can go sledding. We also have some serious Christmas Vacation viewing to do, time to spend with friends, and Bailey’s to pour into my coffee.

Speaking of zero-sum games, my husband got an invitation for a special private screening of Rogue One on Saturday morning, and although I sighed at the thought of leaving our cozy warm house at 8:30 am in -25 degrees, it was well worth while. To be honest, I didn’t love the movie – although I know many people did, zero-sum game, different strokes, the world is a rich tapestry, etc. – but I did love seeing people I hadn’t seen since I left the natural gas industry nearly 13 years ago. Yes, I’m saying chatting in the lobby was my favourite part. I mean, the movie was fine and everything, I just didn’t love it. I enjoyed it more post-movie when I was chatting – in the lobby! – with my husband’s colleague, who explained a great deal of the missing links for me. “Oh!” I said, over and over. “Oh! I get it now! I just…what about the Death Star – oh! Oh, okay! Wait, now…what about oh! Okay!”

Me, watching Rogue One, apparently:

On Friday I baked gingerbread men for the boys to decorate when they got home from school, to kick off the vacation.

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As usual I gave them free rein with the frosting, and as usual we now have the weirdest assortment of cookies. Here are mine:

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And here are the boys’ creations:

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We are doing our gingerbread house tonight, so I’m looking forward to similar creativity.

I was teaching an evening yoga class last week, and my husband took that opportunity to sneak out and buy ten more light-up candy canes, to make me my very own double sided Candy Cane Lane. It was my lifelong dream to have a Candy Cane Lane and now I have one!

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It cheered me immensely, since I was having a low-spirits day.

That’s probably enough said on that subject. As I said, it’s warmed up, I have Bailey’s, I have a Candy Cane Lane, I have delicious, weird-looking gingerbread cookies – what more could a girl want? May we all have such little joys, and the ability to sidestep the emotional landmines rampant at this time of year. xo

Finally Feeling Festive, and Universal Studios: Wilder, Faster, Scarier, and Wetter.

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Normally I’m in full-on festive mode on November 1st, MAYBE November 2 if I’m exhausted from Halloween. But this year November didn’t feel very festive to me; too crazy, too busy, too sad. I was putting myself through the motions a little bit, but now after this weekend, I feel like myself again. It’s full on Nicole the Elf.

Friday was the first Friday night I have been at home since late August. So naturally, my husband had romantic plans for me: a trip to Canadian Tire. We bought a couple of strings of red Christmas lights to go with our icicles, light-up trees and animals, and other outdoor ornaments, plus two new extension cords. Woot. Then when we got home, he realized that we needed more clips for the lights, and recruited Mark to go with him. They came back with green spotlights, a light-up snowman and giant gift box, and eight glowing candy canes to make my lifelong dream of a candy cane lane come true. And they did get the clips as well.

My husband spent five hours arranging everything on Saturday, in the minus 25 degree weather, never once asking for my help, so there’s several stars on his heavenly crown. I made gingersnaps and we watched Love, Actually for the first time. Actually, I loved it!

Isn’t it funny how things like a movie or Christmas song can become combative and divisive? If you want proof that such things can be dramatically polarizing, just try mentioning Baby, It’s Cold Outside or Love, Actually. There are many arguments that Love, Actually is a terrible movie, and those arguments seem to be mainly based on the fact that it doesn’t show “real love” and isn’t “realistic,” has poor messages, etcetera. Have you SEEN the news lately? If anything is over-rated, it’s reality, and so when I watch a movie I want it to be as escapist as possible. I just want some good smooching scenes and a story line that doesn’t have anything to do with The End Of The World As We Know It, and therefore, I give Love, Actually two thumbs up.

Speaking of escapism, let’s talk Universal Studios!

We visited Universal Studios twice during our vacation, for a grand total of 18 hours and 29.6 kilometres of walking. Universal is, in the words of my husband, a lot more rock and roll than Disney. The rides are wilder, faster, scarier, and wetter. The big roller coasters: Hulk, RipIt Rocket, and Dragon Challenge all make Expedition Everest look like a children’s carousel. I am an intrepid roller coaster rider, and I actually thought I was going to black out on Hulk.

But the water rides, hoo boy. Last time we were at Universal, Mark went on a water ride called Dudley Do-Right’s Ripsaw Falls. He went by himself because the temperature was about 20 degrees and overcast and no one else wanted to get wet. He talked about it a lot, and since it was 30 degrees and humid when we were at Universal, Jake and I decided to accompany him. In my mind I envisioned something like Disney’s Splash Mountain – a few big hills with some splashing. I was not prepared for what happened. Fortunately – foreshadowing! – my husband decided to sit it out and hold my bag. The boys and I were getting on the ride when I asked the employee where I could sit to minimize getting wet. He looked at me with great amusement and said “It doesn’t matter. You’re going to be soaked.”

This turned out to be only too true. After a few splashy downhills, I started to curse Mark for coercing me into this. Then, as we were heading up a tall hill in our little log, I saw it: a waterfall that we were going to go through. An actual sheet of water. By the time the ride was over, my hair – which was in a bun – was plastered to my head, I had mascara streaks down my cheeks and on my chin, leaving only a few spikes on my actual eyelashes, and I was participating in my own personal wet t-shirt contest, the ONE DAY I wore a white tank top instead of a black tank top. Believe me when I say it was the saddest wet t-shirt contest ever.

If you love being clammy and wet for an entire day, I recommend this ride. Otherwise – maybe take a pass. I did see some young girls going on all the water rides, smartly dressed in bikini tops and little shorts, like the Florida veterans they were. I am not normally a “Daisy Dukes, bikinis on top” kind of girl, also being 41, but I tell you that I envied them, as my tank top clung to me clammily as the sun went down.

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Universal has all sorts of Marvel Comic rides – like the aforementioned Hulk, and Spider Man. It did make me wonder what would happen to those rides, now that Disney has bought Marvel. At any rate, the Universal employee costumes are much, much better looking than the Disney ones, as you can see here.

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One of my favourite parts of Universal was Krustyland. If you’re a Simpsons fan, this is very fun, and all the employees are dressed in Krustyland red-striped sideshow shirts.

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That’s me BEFORE the water ride.

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If you’re lucky, and you time it right, you can even fulfill your lifelong dream of getting your photo taken with Krusty the Clown and Sideshow Bob. I had to wait until the second day to do this, but it was strangely exhilarating.

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Don’t I look excited?

Of course, Universal is home to Harry Potter land, and I will admit something right now: I’m not a Harry Potter fan. I mean, I’m not NOT a fan, but I have never been interested in seeing any of the movies or reading the books. I live with three fans, however, and they were enthralled. Hell, I was enthralled too. The detailing is amazing and if you have passes to both sides of Universal – both Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure – you can take the Hogwarts Express between the two. We did that many times and it was really special.

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The train takes you between Hogwarts and Diagon Alley.

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My mother-in-law had given the kids money to buy wands at Diagon Alley, and it was a really special experience. You do not just walk in, grab a wand, and pay for it. There’s a whole wand ceremony, and throughout Diagon Alley are spots to use the interactive wands. If the wand-holder does the “spell” correctly, it activates a display – a water fountain spurts, a bird starts flapping its wings, a hat floats into the air. It is well worthwhile for fans and non-fans alike.

The 3D adventure rides – there is one at Gringott’s Bank and one at Hogwarts Castle – are a lot of fun but beware! I felt a little queasy and nauseous at the Hogwarts one, which has you flying through the air playing Quiddich. As I mentioned, I have a stomach of steel for roller coasters but this one did make me feel a bit off.

On the other end of the spectrum is the Who-ville Land, all gentle rides meant for the Dr. Seuss set. I forced the kids to go on a couple of those rides and we actually got stuck for a few minutes on the Cat and the Hat ride. We were stuck in the living room, on a ride shaped like a couch, for probably less than five minutes, but with the continuous loop of children’s music it felt like a lot longer. It reminded me of a colleague of my husband’s, who was once stuck on It’s A Small World for 45 minutes. This was what she looked like afterwards:

Anyway, if you have little ones it is a nice, quiet part of the park. Plus, at Christmas it’s all decorated up.

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At five o’clock on most days Universal hosts a parade, and if you’re there at Christmas, it is a copy of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. We missed it by one day when we were there, but we had seen it on our previous trip, and it is a lot of fun.

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Ah, look at that outfit. I am currently wearing two sweaters, knee-length wool socks, jeans, and fuzzy slippers and I am FREEZING. It looks like it has warmed up to minus 13 (minus 22 with wind chill!) and I really should put on eight more layers to take poor beleaguered Barkley out for a walk. I also have teacher gifts to make (these, if you’re interested, and maybe some of this or this) because the last day of school is FRIDAY THE SIXTEENTH WHAT THE HELL SCHOOL BOARD. All of which is to say, my frozen fingers are signing off. xo

Disney’s Animal Kingdom, or “What’s a Yeti?”

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Good grief, it is cold in Calgary right now, even by Calgary standards. Preparing the children for school feels a bit like that Hoth scene in The Empire Strikes Back – “My friend is out there!” – and all the dogs in the city are going slowly mad, stuck in the house. Spare a thought for the elementary school teachers who have nothing but indoor recesses as far as the eye can see.

On that note, I’m longingly thinking of last week, when I felt a bit too hot. I miss that feeling, and so I’m revisiting the Disney parks, one by one, in my mind.

Animal Kingdom is my favourite of the Disney parks, and it is also the most beautiful, with carefully crafted and wonderfully detailed homages to parts of Africa and Asia, and also a section called Dinoland USA.

Small digression: none of the costumes/ uniforms worn by park employees are in any way attractive or flattering. In fact, it’s almost as if Disney wants their employees to be as androgynous and sexless as possible, and selects clothing for that purpose. However, the costumes worn in Dinoland USA are by far the worst, as far as appearances go. Bright red blouses with blue sleeves and yellow collars are paired with yellow slacks with a green dinosaur motif and red dinosaur footprints on the butt. I found myself spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about the costume, and were the Dinoland USA employees disappointed when they were assigned such outfits to wear, and how many costumes were each employee assigned? If you were working at Dinoland USA did you have several of those pants hanging in your closet, or would you have to always be doing laundry? Because it would seem a bit depressing to open a closet to several of those costumes hanging there.

Then I started thinking about the employees’ welfare in general. Disney is by all accounts an excellent employer, but I wondered which job would be worse: working in the Florida heat and humidity all day, or being inside in a dark and loud, icily air-conditioned indoor ride? I can imagine it would be hard to work in the unrelenting heat all day, but I think it would be worse to never see the sun, only the artificial dim lighting in the indoor rides, along with the cacophony of screams and ride noises and terrible music. I started to worry about those employees and their Vitamin D levels, and if it wasn’t weird, I probably would have asked them if they were taking supplements.

Not to mention the air-conditioning, my god, the air-conditioning. Maybe it’s just my frozen Reynaud’s hands and feet talking, but the air-conditioning is something else. Floridians must really love their air-conditioning because it seems to be set on “hell has frozen over” at all times. Our hotel room, each time it was serviced, was turned down to 64 degrees Fahrenheit, and each time a door opened I was subjected to an icy blast. Tip: if you go, take a long-sleeved shirt with you to put on every time you go indoors, because it is shocking.

That was a long digression.

Animal Kingdom is truly beautiful, and if there is one thing Disney does well, it’s the details.

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See what I mean? The Kilimanjaro Safari is a very lovely ride, and we went once in the morning and once in the late afternoon, and both times were very different and wonderful.

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I loved flamingos as a child, because my favourite colour was pink. I still love them, and they are so funny to watch, because they are constantly turning their heads from side to side, like they can’t EVEN with things.

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Animal Kingdom is home to my favourite ride of all: Expedition Everest. If you are a fan of wild roller coasters, this one is fantastic. Conversely, if you are not a fan, DO NOT GO ON THIS. Last time we were here, the whole family went on it and my husband and younger son had motion sickness because of it. But I loved it and went twice this trip; once on my own and once with Mark.

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There’s usually a long wait, and Disney makes the wait kind of fun, because of all the little details and story-telling along the way. The story is that you are in a museum dedicated to “Yeti research” and so there are little vignettes about the last expedition, and the cameras they found that had hairy blurred faces in them, and so forth.

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So it’s all yetis, all the time at Expedition Everest. Every single display tells a yeti story, so I found it quite funny when I was almost at the front of the line and it became apparent that not everyone shared my joy in soaking up the little details. One of the little displays had a giant cast of a “yeti footprint” and the woman behind me said to her teen daughters, “Oh look, that must be a big beehive or wasp nest or something.”

One of the girls rolled her eyes and the other said “MOM, it’s supposed to be a footprint? Of a yeti?”

The mother, who apparently had not taken in anything in the previous twenty-five minutes, said “What’s a yeti? Did you girls learn about this in school or something?”

I wonder how she felt about the ride itself, which features a shadow play of a yeti ripping the train track off in front of you, and then has a giant animatronic yeti growling at you.

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We spent nine hours at the park and walked 14.3 kilometers, and it was worth every step. My kids and husband would probably want me to tell you that their favourite ride was Dinosaur, which is kind of fun and features a video preamble with Phylicia Rashad. That got me thinking about her, and wondering about her life as Mrs. Huxtable, because standing in line a lot will do that to you. What do Phylicia Rashad and Dinoland USA have in common? They occupy Nicole’s thoughts a lot at Animal Kingdom, I guess.

On that note, I’m off to bake bread and make lentil stew, because if there is something that is missing at Disney World, it’s lentils. I may be the only person who noticed their omission though. Have a beautiful weekend, and stay warm. xo

People are people

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A cold snap has hit the city and it’s hit me especially hard since I just got back from a week in Florida on Sunday night. The past day and a half have been an absolute blur of writing, working, yoga teaching, housecleaning, grocery shopping, and laundry. Dear lord, so much laundry. A week in Florida was the longest time I’ve gone without doing laundry, and there was an absolute mountain of it. Today I put the fuzzy flannel sheets on the bed, making for an even six giant loads in the past 36 hours.

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But it was all worthwhile, this thudding back into reality. It was a great vacation which I’ll write about in more detail a little later. I don’t want to forget a thing.

I love travelling and I love coming home; I love meeting people and talking to people and people watching, and then I love coming home to my cozy little house filled with Christmas music and yummy, non-fried food. It’s really interesting, the people you see when you travel far from home. I mean, some people are more interesting than others, like the very drunk man who got escorted out of the Disney resort with no shoes nor shirt, only shorts that he had urinated in. I was outside reading, waiting for the Disney Magical Express to take me to the airport, when I noticed him being held upright between two Disney employees clad in white pants and brightly coloured shirts. It was 1:15 pm and you have to wonder, was he drinking at the Drop-Off Bar at the Big Blue Pool? How does one get that drunk at a Disney resort? Yes, there is a cacophony of children and tinny music, but is that any excuse to pee your pants? Sir, focus on making better choices.

On the other end of the spectrum was the emotional and heartfelt employee at the shop in the Orlando airport. My husband had given the person in front of us a penny (they still have pennies in the States!) so she could receive an even amount of change back, and the employee was so touched by his “generosity” that she discussed it with us for two solid minutes. I don’t mean to take away from his penny, but her gratitude exceeded what I thought was appropriate. Then, while I purchased breath mints and fruity Mentos, she chatted with me for several minutes about my accent (“Are you from Scotland or Ireland?” she asked, and seemed a bit disappointed when I said Canada.), my trip to Disney World, and her impending head cold. Meanwhile, the lineup behind me was increasing rapidly. The next person in line got similar treatment so I think that woman was in her element, working the cash register in the shop where she could meet and chat with people from all over the continent, and maybe even the world.

As a sidebar, I was purchasing breath mints and fruity Mentos as a last resort, as what I really wanted was gum for the flight. But – fun fact – there is no gum for sale in the entire Orlando International Airport. Gum cannot be acquired for love or money. The reason, as I found out from listening in to another conversation that the employee was having, is that there is carpet. Were people spitting their gum onto the carpet? I guess so. It must have been a large enough problem to do away with gum altogether.

All of which is to say that if you’re travelling in that area and you want gum, bring it from home. Just don’t bring any Kinder Surprises, if you know what I’m saying.

Speaking of contraband items, one of my very favourite things about Disney World and Universal Studios is that they really make sure no one is packing heat in the parks. I don’t know about you, but I find that incredibly relieving. Disney does a thorough bag check AND “random” checks with metal detectors. It’s not really random because both my husband and I received those checks on Wednesday night after we were running from the bus to the park entrance, so as to not miss our Fast Pass window. Our Fast Pass for Space Mountain expired at 6:50 and we got to the park at 6:35 so we were sprinting past the scooters and slow-moving foot traffic. Do not do this if you don’t want to seem like a suspect. I was happy to comply, of course. I’d happily go through a physical pat-down if it meant I could enjoy Big Thunder Mountain without worrying that there was a disgruntled/ angry/ unstable armed person around. Universal Studios does not do random checks – everyone goes through the metal detector, just like at the airport.

Another thing about Disney is that they issue “Magic Bands” to wear on your wrist, that can be synced with all your personal information, your phone, your passes, and even your credit card. It’s an incredibly efficient system, but at times it is a little startling. I was in line for Expedition Everest, when one of the signs that they change to keep things interesting flashed “Welcome Nicole!” It was both Big Brother-ish and kind of nice. I mean, it’s nice to be welcomed.

The elderly lady sitting next to me on the plane ride from Calgary was a little worried about not being welcomed in the Orlando airport. Her husband was behind her, a lesson for everyone to just pay the $10 so you can choose your seats, and she kept craning her neck around to shout conversation starters at him, which he did not seem to respond to. I don’t know if she was brand new to flying, or just super excited to get free refreshments, or both, but every time the cart came around she would order three different drinks, a hot one, a cold one, and water. When asked if she wanted cookies or pretzels she said both, every time, and then stashed them in her purse with an expression that showed her joy in scoring such treats at no cost. Throughout the flight she kept shouting to her husband “Three hours left!” and I would look at my watch and see that there was only two hours, but not think much of it.

The pilot announced that we were starting the descent into Orlando, and the lady went OFF. The flight was an hour early! Why was it so early! She checked her ticket and the time was WRONG on the ticket! The time of arrival was supposed to be 4:45 and here it was only 3:15! The airline messed up and now she was going to be waiting for AN HOUR at the airport because no one would be there to meet them! This went on for some time until her husband finally shouted back that it was 4:15 and she must have set her watch wrong when they landed in Calgary.

Oh.

I later saw them at the luggage carousel, happily with people who I assumed they were staying with. It’s nice when things work out like that.

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The Friday before we left, I came home from teacher training to find that the boys and my husband had brought up the tree and ornaments from the basement, so we could decorate before leaving for Florida. It was the best surprise ever, and now my house feels wonderfully Christmassy. We bought a new tree this year, after several years of my husband putting the tree up and saying “We need a new goddamn tree, this one is terrible.” We couldn’t decide on white lights or coloured, and so we found one that has a white light setting, a coloured light setting, and a setting that cycles between the two. I love it so much.

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Oh, what’s that I’m holding? My teacher training certificate! It’s official now, and I’m as happy as can be. Plus, get a load of the tree! It’s gorgeous. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some laundry to fold. xo