Category Archives: Beauty and body

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Goodbye, Dolly Edition

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I am rarely, if ever, affected by celebrity deaths. Usually I am surprised, as I frequently think the celebrity in question was already deceased, although sometimes I feel great shock and sadness at the cause of death, such as that of Rob Reiner or Phil Hartman. I was greatly affected by the death of Princess Diana and then later of Queen Elizabeth II, and I was sad to hear of the passing of Alice Munro. Generally, though, I feel fairly detached when I hear of the passing of someone famous, but I was deeply saddened to hear about Dolly Parton.

Dolly Parton brought so much joy and goodness into the world; not only did she have the voice of an angel, but she had the demeanour of one as well. She did so much for so many, particularly with regards to improving children’s literacy and education. By all accounts she was a woman full of love for all; she was quoted as saying The Holy Ghost is that part of God that lives in everybody, and the way you sin against it is by not loving everybody with all your heart, for exactly who they are. Isn’t that beautiful?

I’ve always liked the saying that a woman at twenty has the face she was born with, and at forty she has the one she deserves. I think women, as they age, become more beautiful when they have a beautiful soul; their aura shines through. Their beauty comes from the inside out! But sometimes, I like to think of beauty going from the outside in.

What I mean is that I always feel like I’m my best self when I put effort into my outward appearance. I grew up in a house in which vanity was a flaw to be overcome, and I really do think that song is about me, so I have a little bit of low-level shame about my fixation on my appearance. As I have gotten older, I have become more and more comfortable with my own vanity and the importance my appearance plays in my life. I don’t care about looking nice for other people, I want to look nice for ME, and I don’t feel like my best self when I don’t look my best.

I think this is one of the reasons I love Dolly so much. She had a rich inner life AND she leaned in to her looks. She worked hard and donated massively to charity and meant so much to people, and she looked fabulous while doing it. Another quote: My joke of, ‘It costs a lot of money to look this cheap’ ‒ that’s so true because I like to look a certain way. I can’t just put on a little bit of makeup and think I look good because I don’t look good with a little bit of makeup. I like to wear a lot of makeup. It fits my personality. Even if somebody says, ‘Oh God, she was so over-made.’ Well, if it fits me then I’m going to make everybody around me happy because I’m going to feel good myself. Never have I related to something so much. One can be a serious person and also enjoy frivolities at the same time. Being sparkly doesn’t mean being stupid. Working on one’s outer beauty does not preclude working on one’s inner beauty.

This month’s Favourite Things is dedicated to glorious, glamourous Dolly.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Goodbye, Dolly Edition

Maybe She’s Born With It, Maybe It’s Maybelline

Like Dolly, I don’t like to wear a little makeup, I like to wear a lot of makeup, every day. This is especially true of mascara.

There are areas in my life where I like to splurge, but mascara isn’t one of them. I go through a tube a month and so I prefer a less-expensive drugstore brand. My favourite – and it’s been my favourite for YEARS – is Maybelline’s Surreal Falsies. It builds nicely, doesn’t clump, and I don’t feel bad if I go through it quickly.

I also love Maybelline’s Express Brow, which is essentially a mascara, but for eyebrows. It covers up the wiry white eyebrow hairs and patchiness that are part of my life now.

Love The Skin You’re In

I honestly think that laugh lines are very beautiful, and I also have deep forehead wrinkles and marionette lines from a lifetime of smiling, laughing, and raising my eyebrows. No regrets! What can I say, I’m a “facey” person with a lot of expression, and my visage really did freeze that way. Nevertheless, I do like to use night creams, not to erase those lines – that’s too tall an order for a mere lotion – but to soften, smooth, and hydrate.

I was standing in line at the Costco pharmacy, waiting to pick up my husband’s medications. I am trying not to look at my phone while waiting for things, and so I glanced around at the people around me, peeking into their carts and wondering about their lives. What are they doing with all that cheese? I’ll wonder. To my left was a long aisle of beauty products. Here’s the thing about buying beauty products at Costco: it’s a gamble, and a very tempting one. Everything is so economical and also so GIANT. I have found myself saddled with massive amounts of product that was wrong for me, which is wasteful and makes me regret my life choices. But there I was, in a very slow-moving line filled with elderly people filling prescriptions, beside all sorts of untried and promising products. I kept glancing at them. Minutes ticked by. I AM NOT MADE OF STONE.

I ended up with a two-pack of Cerave Skin Renewing Eye Cream and a THREE-pack of ROC Correxion Cream. It was a gamble, but one that paid off. I love both of these products, and, as a bonus, Wirecutter chose the Cerave as its recent number one pick for eye creams! Now, let’s hope they are back at Costco by the time I run out of them, which will be many months from now.

Nailed It

Until I was about 23 years old, I was a terrible nail-biter. Now that I’m not, I like to keep polish on them at all times to keep from reverting to bad habits. I have had three professional manicures in my life, and one of those was a gel manicure. That lasted several weeks without chips, but the downside is that it kind of wrecked my nails. I always get gel pedicures, so I don’t know what the difference was, but my fingernails were so weak and prone to splitting post-gel-manicure that I never got one again. Instead, I use Sally Hansen Miracle Gel polish, which lasts about a week before chipping, can be removed with regular polish remover, and doesn’t destroy my nails.

I love the look of dark nail polish – my toenails are always, always red – but I find that a light, natural colour is more forgiving in the chip department. I don’t know how one gets a job naming nail polish, but I wish it was mine. The colour I like is All Chiffon The World.

A Hair Affair

Recently my gorgeous friend Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) asked if my hair was naturally curly, and the answer to that is: not really. But it’s not straight, either. It’s more like weirdly inconsistent beach waves. Here is what it looks like wet:

And then this is with blow-drying:

Suffice it to say that it needs a little help, and so I love my curling iron. About a year ago I splurged on a fancy, expensive one, and I have never looked back.

It takes 5-10 minutes to curl my entire head of hair, depending on my precision and mood.

Then I gently comb it out, using a wide-tooth comb or my fingers.

I suppose I could blow-dry it straight, the way every hair stylist always does for me, but the truth is I don’t like the way it looks. My hair is so fine that it looks kind of flat and flyaway, and so I prefer the curls. I only wash my hair every three days, so it generally just needs a touchup or a bun on non-wash days.

It doesn’t take an eagle-eyed reader to notice the white roots! I don’t know when, if ever, I am going to allow my hair to go natural, because wow, does that feel like a process. At this rate, I’ll be the little orange haired lady in The Home. I started colouring my own hair during the pandemic and I never looked back, except to be low-level horrified by the amount of money I spent at salons for two decades. My current favourite is L’Oreal, and I am toying with the idea of going back to the chocolate brown of my youth. We’ll see!

Shine On You Crazy Diamond

As you may recall, I have had a lifelong goal to look like Mr T, when it comes to jewelry. More is more, I say! Just like I don’t feel like myself without makeup, I feel naked without jewelry. I like to wear bracelets, rings, earrings, and a necklace every day. I also wear my Garmin watch, but I’m not sure if that counts as jewelry.

Outfit of the Month

Nothing makes me want to shop my closet more than current pant styles. Everything is so wide-legged now, and I don’t love that style on me. Well, as Dolly herself said, Here you come again, and so slim-fit pants will eventually be back, but for now, I’m pulling out my old City Sleek Lululemons. I love these pants and I have several in different colours; I wore the charcoal ones with an old Gap tee and my Skecher sandals to a friend’s birthday lunch.

I am getting a lot of mileage out of that silk scarf I painted with my friend Sandi (HI SANDI) last summer. It’s the perfect lightweight scarf for a warmish fall day!

Face, hair, nails, clothes, accessories…I think I covered all my favourite frivolities, all of which Dolly made look so good. Goodbye, Dolly. You were an angel on this earth and now you are a literal angel. You were a gift to all of us. I will always love you. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Perimenopause Edition

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It occurred to me recently that Gen X women are the first generation to really talk freely about perimenopause and menopause, just like we were the first generation to talk about the agony and ecstasy of parenting via “mommy blogs.” There were probably some exceptions but it seems to me that our mothers’ generation kept those experiences to themselves. And our grandmothers’ generation? Forget about it. No one wanted to talk about The Change, just like no one wanted to admit that they coloured their hair, IF they coloured their hair. My maternal grandma, at my age, had short steel-grey hair and wore housedresses and no makeup. I feel fairly confident she wasn’t chatting casually about vaginal dryness.

My feeling is that everything is easier when it is shared, and also there is no such thing as too much information. Today I will be talking about my Favourite Things when it comes to managing this sweaty, roller coaster-y stage of life. We are in this together, ladies! I also hope my three male readers enjoy the ride.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Perimenopause Edition

HRT for Me

When I was in prenatal class with my first pregnancy, I was assigned a “birth plan” to create. I remember clearly that my “plan,” such as it was, would be to try to avoid an epidural or other drugs, but I wasn’t opposed to them if needed. I had never had a baby before, so I didn’t know if I would want them or not. And indeed, I did have not one but two drug-free births, but during the first one, I started screaming I can’t do it anymore, I need the drugs!, at which point the nurse told me I was nine and half centimetres dilated, it was too late, no drugs for me. The second time around was even faster, and so I never asked for any. Plus I felt like an old pro by that time, as my babies were born less than eighteen months apart, and the vag wasn’t what it once was, if you know what I’m saying.

I have always found it a little distasteful when there is smugness involved in anything birth and parenting related, because the wheel of fortune is undiscerning. My labours were four and two hours long, respectively, but if I was a woman who was in labour for many hours or even days, I would absolutely have had drugs.

I had the same feeling about hormone replacement treatment for perimenopause, namely that I would consider it if I ever felt that I needed to. And for years I didn’t need to; for the longest time, I thought not right now, I can manage without, it’s not so bad, until last April. Last April, things became unmanageable. Suddenly I was unable to get restorative sleep, I was exhausted all the time, my whole body thrummed with fatigue and, oddly, an elevated heartrate. I was having hot flashes and night sweats constantly, and I just could not cope. I didn’t want to cope. My doctor, a brilliant and progressive young woman, immediately prescribed a low dose oral estrogen and progesterone protocol. When I went to the pharmacy to pick it up, the pharmacist explained that the estrogen would help with the hot flashes and the progesterone would help me sleep. Friends, I was so tired that I just burst into relieved tears, right there at the Costco pharmacy. The pharmacist smiled knowingly. The estrogen will help with the mood swings too.

I cannot begin to explain how life-changing this has been for me. In the way that you can’t tell how bad something is until you’re out of it, I realized I was on an energetic downward trajectory for MONTHS, and now I feel like my old self again. I wake up feeling restored and refreshed, my body doesn’t ache, my plantar fasciitis cleared up completely, and I have had not ONE incident of hot flashes or night sweats. My energy is great, I feel good, my cognitive function is such that I’m not wondering if I’m slowly losing my mind. Prior to HRT I was forgetting words like “lunch.” THANK GOD FOR MODERN MEDICINE.

This is the exact same Peloton ride: the top two numbers are post-HRT, the bottom two are pre-HRT, which indicates my general level of energy.

Ritual Stacking

I never forget to take my medication, vitamins, or supplements because I always tie them to something else. I take most things with my breakfast and lunch, but progesterone needs to be taken at night. I keep this mug that my friend Joy gave me (HI JOY) next to my bathroom sink; I tie the progesterone to my nighttime flossing and brushing routine. The mug makes me smile every day, and it feels like a call-out to all us Peri Bitches.

BEAST MODE

I bought you a present! my husband said, and I excitedly bustled over to see what it was.

Some people might not be super excited about a pull-up assist, but I sure was. We are all supposed to be working on strength to counteract age-and-hormone related loss of muscle mass and to improve bone density, and I do, but wow, is it boring. I grimly do my weight training routine with as much joy as I do the vacuuming: I like the end result but it’s just another chore in the day to get there. However, I will say that this pull-up assist is SO much fun. I feel like an absolute beast.

Look at me go! I find it very satisfying that eighteen months ago I could only hang, straight-armed, for a count of ten, and now I can do pull-ups with only the lowest-level of assistance. Maybe one day I will be able to do them totally unassisted! But even if not, it is the journey, not the destination, life is a highway, etcetera.

Roll Out The Welcome Matte

If you are a Gen X woman, then you will surely remember the days of using St Ives Apricot Scrub followed by Sea Breeze toner and Cover Girl matte foundation and pressed powder. We valued a matte face, let’s put it that way, and I still do. I hate the feeling of my face being dewy and shiny; I wear pressed powder every single day and have since I first started wearing makeup. The problem is that once a woman reaches a certain age, a matte look can exacerbate certain lines and wrinkles. How to balance the two?

I absolutely love Tarte BB Blur tinted moisturizer, which provides much-needed moisture without a ton of shine. It purports to have SPF, but it doesn’t say that on the tube, and so I apply it overtop my Neutrogena Face Serum Sunscreen.

It’s still dewier than I like, so I have been following it up with Tower 28 pressed powder; I had seen this powder highly recommended, and I will tell you it is worth the extra expense. It gives a matte finish that lasts all day, without any need for touch-ups.

It also doesn’t collect in little lines and crevices, which is an important consideration for me.

Wrap It Up

I am just not ready to embrace my natural hair colour, which is white and grey. For one thing, to go au naturel would be quite the undertaking: I would have to live with increasingly longer white and grey roots with increasingly fading red ends, or I would have to cut my hair super short and just let it be white and grey, or I would have to have my colour stripped out and then somehow allow my stripped hair to blend in with the white and grey. None of these options appeal.

A mere three weeks after colouring and my roots are on display.

I usually wear my hair in a bun if I’m on my third day of the three-day wash cycle, and for the last ten days before colouring my roots are pretty noticeable. Enter the hair wrap!

I just got this new one from Scrummy Scrunchies on Etsy; it’s nice and long and I can loop it around my head a few times or let it hang down my back in a bohemian kind of way.

In addition to covering up the roots, it also covers up thinner spots. I know, no one wants to talk about thinning hair, but it happens to the best of us. The feminine mystique takes a bit of a beating during perimenopause; our skin changes, our temperatures change, we sweat more, our periods are all over the place, our vaginas dry up, our waistlines expand, we sprout moustaches and chin hairs, and OUR HAIR STARTS TO FALL OUT. I will give another plug for Nutrafol (I WISH I was sponsored, alas, I am not), which I have been taking religiously since November 2022, and which has made a significant difference in my hair density. At one point, I was actually worried I was going to go bald. My Calgary doctor – A MAN – dismissed my hair loss concerns and said to me flippantly “How many bald women do you see, really?” To which I informed him that actually, my paternal grandmother had to wear a wig because her hair fell out, DO NOT GASLIGHT ME ABOUT MY HAIR, DOCTOR.

Anyway. Nutrafol has worked wonders but the thing about a hair growth supplement is that one’s roots become en evidence much quicker. Well, I can’t simultaneously complain about rapidly-appearing roots from hair growth while taking a hair growth supplement.

Outfit of the Month

I have a tale to tell about this skirt. I was in the market for a summer skirt that was more structured than my usual, and this one from Lululemon seemed to fit the bill. It is the perfect length, it is made of a stiffer material than my athletic skirts, it has a side zipper for a sleek silhouette, it has shorts attached underneath, and it has pockets! Perfection! The reviews online indicated that it fit smaller than usual, and since half my wardrobe is from Lululemon, I very confidently ordered it one size up.

When it arrived, I could not do up the zipper. Well, that’s not true. I was able to do up the zipper, but it involved massive sucking in. Also, I ended up zipping the skin of my waist into the zipper, which was a painful insult-to-injury situation.

I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking the same thing. Did I changed sizes? I wondered euphemistically. I tried on my very fitted, structured Lululemon pants that involve buttons and zippers, but mysteriously, they fit perfectly. I tried on my jeans, and it was the same thing. It soon became evident that it was not me, it was the skirt, and so I took it back to the store and did what I should have done in the first place, which was to try it on.

And I ended up going up THREE sizes.

I mention this to illustrate that women’s clothing sizes are a joke. We tie so much of ourselves to a certain size – or weight – and then we feel badly when things don’t line up. But those numbers are just numbers. Those numbers are not US. A different number is not some kind of moral failing and it doesn’t say anything about us as a person. All the clothes in my closet fit perfectly, and there are many different sizes involved, depending on the store or brand. I will say that I felt a bit taken aback, going up three sizes for a skirt, and Younger Nicole might not have bought the skirt at all. Wouldn’t that be a shame! Forgoing something so cute for a stupid metric like a clothing size, and in any case, Lululemon tags are designed to be ripped out.

Sandals are from Skechers – comfortable shoes are a must at this stage of the game – and the top is an old one from the Gap.

The thing about perimenopause is that I feel lucky to experience it. Some women don’t make it this far! And the truth is that although some parts of it are absolutely unpleasant, we live in an age where we can talk about it, and there are medical interventions that can help with the really bothersome symptoms. I’m so happy to have a good and open doctor, I am so happy to have access to HRT, and I’m thrilled to live in a world where there are cosmetics, hair colour, and elastic waistbands. xo

We’ve Got Fun and Games

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What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate

A while ago, my husband’s friend went to see Guns and Roses in concert in Vancouver, which is at least a four hour drive from here, meaning that this was not just an evening out. It was a commitment. Concert tickets these days are not what they once were, and accommodations in Vancouver are also pricey, so I imagine it was not an inexpensive endeavour. It probably would have been worth it to this sixtysomething rocker, had the band played even one of their many, many hits. But no. Guns and Roses spent the entire concert playing all new material.

I can understand an artist wanting to share new work with the world; I am not sure I would want to continue doing the same thing over and over for four decades. I can understand that it would get tiring, as Elin Hildebrand said on her podcast about her annual Nantucket books, that people want the same thing every year, but make it different. And yet, I do feel that a band with such stature as Guns and Roses, who charges exorbitant fees and who has an extensive catalogue of excellent, much-loved music, should give the people what they want.

This is why I love cover bands. I ADORE a cover band. If we go somewhere and there is a cover band playing the hits, you can bet I am going to get that dance floor started. This past Friday my husband and I went to see The Hip Replacements, which is the very witty name of our local Tragically Hip cover band, and it was so much fun. I danced all night, got home late, and paid for it the next day with sore feet, a sore throat from singing, and general exhaustion due to my inability to sleep in no matter what time I go to bed. It was worth it!

But back to Guns and Roses. I always, always have a song stuck in my head at all times, but in the past few weeks I have had three on rotating repeat, for a variety of reasons.

Sweet Child of Mine

A few months ago I heard a piano version of Sweet Child of Mine, and I immediately purchased and downloaded the sheet music. What fun! And also, whoa nelly. Look at this key!

It’s a challenge, let’s put it that way, a challenge that is peppered with unusual C flats and tricky fingering. I’m working hard at learning all eight pages of it, the result of which is that the tune loops through my head many times a day. She’s got eyes of the bluest sky I’ll think as I roll out my yoga mat, looking at the morning breaking. Where do we go now I’ll hum as I look for something in the pantry.

Welcome To The Jungle

Sweet Child of Mine gives up its place in my brain every morning when I head down to the garden, at which time Welcome To The Jungle wedges its way in.

The tomatoes are going rogue.

My arms are completely covered in scratches from squeezing between the raspberries and the zucchinis. Wear sleeves! my husband says helpfully, forgetting that I am a perimenopausal woman working outdoors in the height of the Okanagan summer, and that wearing sleeves feels as comfortable as donning a medieval suit of armour.

You’re in the jungle, baby, you’re going to die! is something that inappropriately floats through my head as I serenely build the sand mandala that is weeding.

Patience

Those two songs have been in my head constantly, but a third popped in last week when I was at Costco. I don’t know if this is a seasonal fluctuation, but for the past few months every time I go into Costco I think it just can’t get worse than this and then, somehow, it does. Said woman, take it slow, it’ll work itself out fine, I mentally sang to myself while completely immobilized in the dry goods aisle, with unmoving carts before, beside, and behind me. All we need is just a little patience I thought, waiting for throngs of carts to move so I could exit the freezer aisle.

I congratulated myself on making it out without internal impotent rage, and then I saw this beside my car.

It takes so much more effort to wedge a cart’s front wheels up onto the median without destroying the vehicles around it, particularly since the carrel was mere steps away.

I wasn’t as bothered as I usually would be, because I was still pondering a very kind, but odd, compliment I had received at the pharmacy. The young fellow – I would place him in his late twenties – talked to me about my prescription and then said Oh, by the way, I love your hair! I responded with a grateful and enthusiastic thanks, to which he followed up with It’s so old-timey! Like a 1940s movie star.

Listen, I will take any compliment, no matter how strange. And I’ve always thought it would be wonderful to swan through life in soft focus like Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca. Old-timey isn’t exactly a compliment I expected, but I will take what I can get, and just hope he didn’t mean Joan Crawford or Bette Davis in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane.

Weekly Reading

The book flood continues!

One of these is a reread so technically, there is no need to panic about it. But still.

Luckily, I have had a lot of uninterrupted reading time this week; after the guys got back from Vancouver, my husband went camping with some buddies for a few days, and I camped out on the deck for hours every day with my trusty reading partner.

Laundry Love. I put this on my TBR five years ago – and then promptly forgot about it. It wasn’t until my friend Stephany (HI STEPHANY) mentioned this that I metaphorically slapped my forehead and took it from TBR to my library pile. And I know what you’re thinking: an entire book about LAUNDRY? Yes. Not only is it a delightful, joyful meditation on caring for our clothes, each other, and the planet, but it also contains everything you ever wanted to know about the act of laundry, including how-tos about washing wedding dresses, wool suits, and fur coats, in case anyone actually has their grandma’s furs. I don’t, obviously, but I still found it interesting, and also oddly inspirational.

Flashlight. My writing friend Jen (HI JEN) told me about this densely layered, nuanced, and complex novel about a father and daughter who disappear while walking along a beach in Japan. The daughter washes up ashore, alive, while the father does not. The story is so much more, and takes turns I was not expecting. I learned so much about the relations between Japan and Korea – both during and after World War II – as well as the relationship of North Korea to its neighbours and to the US. The three main characters all have trauma and are all incredibly, deeply unlikeable. The writing is so good that I felt physically uncomfortable reading about their fraught interactions with each other and with the world at large; there were a few times that I had to look away from the book, so awful do these people behave. The reading experience was immersive and compelling, and one of the adjacent characters was so completely delightful that it almost made up for the nastiness of the others. A really excellent book, so well-written and executed.

Upward Bound. I would term this book as autofiction; the story is about the clients and staff at Upward Bound, a day care program for adults with severe disabilities. The author himself is the first nonspeaking autistic graduate of UCLA, and I understand there is some controversy surrounding whether or not he actually wrote this book, or if his mother stepped in while he used Facilitated Communication. To be frank, I do not give a fuck if he literally wrote it or not, that is not the point. The point of this book is to bring humanity and understanding to an underserved population, a voice to the voiceless. And if his mother did write it? Well, it’s not much different from ghostwriting, is it? It’s a moving collection of chapters from different points of view, and I think it can only help bring compassion towards people who are very much othered in our society.

The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano. I love thinking about different paths our lives can take, and this book is all about that very thing. Rose is a woman who has never wanted children, and she’s always been clear about it. Her husband agrees, but then after they are married he changes his mind. This book goes through all different scenarios, a choose-your-own-adventure, if you will. I love books about marriage, particularly when there is strife, complication, and extramarital action. This book has it all and more, and I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a very nuanced and powerful statement on what it is to be a woman in our society, the pressures and resentments, the difficulties and the joys. I especially like that the book is not laid out linearly, rather all the lives are scattered throughout the book, so it kept me very engaged, even through the initial scene about prenatal vitamins, a fight that is repeated throughout the book. Thanks to Lisa (HI LISA) for the recommendation!

I’m looking forward to a pretty normal summer week; more gardening, more reading, and a nice afternoon with the girls coming up! I hope you are all having a beautiful July so far. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Mine, His, Ours Edition

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Our houseguests have gone home and it occurred to me, not for the first time, that our friendship is rare, in the world of Couple Friends: all four of us get along, as they say, like a house on fire. Not only that, but our kids all get along. Our older kids were born on the exact same day, only two hours apart, and even though those two had that special bond, they both have fun with the other two as well. In other words, all eight of us get along in any and all permutations and combinations, and I think that is very special. These are Our Friends, as opposed to friends who “belong” more to one partner than the other.

I don’t believe that when you get married, you have to share everything, even friends. There are things that are shared and there are things that are individual, and this extends to household items. The houseplants are mine, the leaf blower is my husband’s. The Peloton is mine, the squat rack is his. We share the Vitamix but each have our own coffee maker; mine is a standard drip pot, his is a fancy espresso machine that I refuse to learn how to work. The grills are his and the stand mixer is mine, the puzzle board is shared property. The televisions and sound systems are his, the piano is mine. The camper is his, but I think he wishes it was ours. Alas for him.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Mine, His, Ours Edition

Ours: Wine Tastings

If you visit me, there is a 100% chance that I will take you for a wine tasting. It is my number one activity to do with houseguests, and there is a special, personal reason for it that goes beyond my love of wine: my husband’s family used to own the vineyard and winery that is now Tantalus. My husband’s grandfather worked to own the land, and my husband himself planted a number of the old Riesling plants that are still producing fruit. The backstory might be his, but I count this as ours since our son now works for this very vineyard. And also, again, I love wine.

Mine: The Veggie Garden

I mentally split up our yard as well as the interior of our house. The large perennial border is ours, but the lawn is definitely his. The veggie garden, on the other hand, is mine. It’s early in the season yet, but everything is coming up nicely. I have already harvested the arugula, and the kale will not be far behind.

Anyone else hear the ominous music playing? IT BEGINS.

Every year, I kind of forget the vast volume of greens we get. It’s a good problem to have! Arugula salad for all!

His: The Iris Garden

I think of our flower planters as ours, but also a little bit mine, while the iris garden is definitely his. There were several old irises and tulips growing above the rock wall that lines our carport when we moved here, and my husband has spent a lot of time restoring the overgrown bed, weeding and dividing and planting. May is the month it really shines!

Mine: Gnomes

This is an obvious one; the gnomes are clearly mine. This year I decided to hide them all within the gardens, and seeing them poke out between the plants makes me smile. It’s the kind of thing I would have loved as a child, hidden gnomes, and it brings me so much delight.

Mine: Special Sunscreen

When we travel, my husband does not pack shampoo because, as he says, hotels always provide it. This is true, but also, I will never not take my own hair care products. Who knows what kind of products they have? Who knows what state my hair will be in, using some random product? What if they only have 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner? Relatedly, he uses the same sunscreen on his face that he uses on his body and there, as with using hotel shampoo, I draw a very thick and bold line. I am very choosy about the sunscreen I will use on my face, and my current favourite is one that my friend Suzanne alerted me to: Neutrogena Face Serum Sunscreen. (HI SUZANNE)

It doesn’t leave a residue, it absorbs quickly, and it works under makeup. What more do I want from a sunscreen, other than SPF protection?

The makeup table that the sunscreen is pictured on is something else that is mine, and mine alone, although the ensuite is ours.

Outfit of the Month

I don’t think I have ever in my entire life considered my husband’s opinion when I buy clothes or get dressed. I just assume that if I like my outfit, he will too, but even if he didn’t, it would have no effect on my sartorial choices. As my beloved Aunty C says, I dress for me.

To that end, this month’s outfit involves a black tee from the Gap, Skechers shoes, the world’s most comfortable pants from Lululemon, and a silk scarf from Cambodia. I wore this for a girl’s lunch out, but I think this is a perfect travel outfit. I’ve had those pants for years and they are versatile, light, and stretchy. What more do I want out of pants?

Of course, this blog is mine, and mine alone. Perhaps my husband would have a different view on things, but he doesn’t have a blog! I’m pretty sure he agrees on the iris garden, makeup table, and gnomes though. What are your favourite things this month, friends? Tell me everything. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Nifty and Fun Edition

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Thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes! In a misguided attempt at being celebratory, my body gifted me the most intense and prolonged perimenopausal symptoms I have ever had, for ten solid days. Coincidence? I don’t know, but this is a Favourite Things, and although I am Pro-Aging and aware that it is a privilege and a gift and not everyone gets to experience perimenopause, waking up with sweaty jammies and crushing fatigue are not my Favourite Things. Such topics will be discussed at a later date!

I did have a lovely birthday, with a trip to the garden centre for flowers, basil, tomatoes, and peppers. They have not been planted yet, but will be soon, and in the meantime all my little seedlings have sprouted, life is good. Strangely, on my birthday walk with Rex I did not encounter one person I knew. I ALWAYS have at least one conversation with walking regulars, and I was ready to tell them it was my birthday to receive good tidings for the day, but NOT ONE did I encounter. Next time I AM wearing that sandwich board.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Nifty and Fun Edition

Feet Don’t Fail Me Now

In addition to wearing the contenders for the Ugliest House Sandals Award, I have also embraced middle age and purchased items from Dr. Scholls, specifically designed to relieve pain from plantar fasciitis. I put a pair of these into my trail runners for my daily walks, and they really have helped.

Turn That Frown Upside Down

A few weeks ago I was running errands ahead of my pedicure appointment, and as I approached the young man at the liquor store counter, he gasped. Well! You look lovely! he said with genuine enthusiasm, to which I responded with appropriate gratitude for the compliment. I mean it! You are so beautiful. Look at you! Your hair, your eyes, everything. I felt like Amy Sedaris in Elf, when Buddy tells her that she’s so pretty, she could be on a Christmas card. I strutted out of there, swinging my bottles of tequila like John Travolta’s paint cans.

On the way to the salon, I was stopped at a red light and the men in the utility truck beside me started giving me the eye. Wow, I thought, I really have it going on today! I strutted into the salon and as the esthetician started Dremelling off my polish, she asked if I had grandkids.

A few points to consider: I am 51, and I look 51, and it would not be strange to have grandkids at this age. I also hope that one day I do have grandkids, what a gift that would be. I did think it was a bit of an odd question, but I don’t want to judge anyone who works in a salon and who has to make small talk day in and day out. I’ve said some weird things myself while teaching yoga. I did not think it was an offensive question in any way, and I did not take offense.

That was before I learned that the reason she asked was because she thought I was the grandmother of her teenage son’s best friend.

My feelings on that discovery are not unrelated to the feelings I had when I was plucking my facial hair, looking into my “daylight” 10x magnifying mirror and noticed three faint vertical lines going up my forehead, in between my eyebrows. At first I thought I had, somehow, made three perfect lines in my forehead serum, but no. These are permanent features. I have long accepted my horizontal lines, as they have evolved from a lifetime of raising my eyebrows or otherwise making happy faces.

But these lines seem to be a result of frowning, which I do not like.

In any case, I use The Ordinary Multi-Peptide HA Serum on my forehead every day. It doesn’t turn back time – nothing does, short of injections or surgery – but I do think it helps slow the line-developing process. Maybe I’m frowning more than I think I am! I will have to address that. First step: stop reading the news.

What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger?

My friend Sharyl (HI SHARYL) has been an inspiration for many years now. She took me under her wing when I first started teaching yoga, and she had me assist, co-teach, and then take over her Yoga for Stroke Survivors class. That experience taught me more about bodies and how they move than my entire teacher training, it taught me how to teach a single pose in multiple ways for multiple abilities, all at the same time. Her goal was to get people to move without pain, and to feel good in their own bodies.

During the pandemic Sharyl started teaching yoga with small weights, and then she got into strength training, around the same time that I did. But she got REALLY into strength training; she is a woman of small stature who can dead lift 210 pounds. She posted a video of her doing a pull-up, and I started thinking: could I do that too?

Just before my fiftieth birthday, I made a loose goal of working towards doing a pull-up by my fifty-first birthday. And I am now 51 and I cannot do that. But I can do three assisted, using exercise bands under my feet as support.

Obviously I move the bar first, but you can see the stretchy bands in this photo.

Maybe next year! But I have come so far; when I first started I could only hang, straight-armed, for ten seconds. But I kept working on it and working on it, and I have seen so much progress. Maybe I never will get to a point where I can do them unassisted, but I have gotten so much stronger in the process. Also progress, not perfection, right?

Fueled By Cake

Everyone knows I love cake, and, to the amusement of my friends, I really love a grocery store sheet cake. My husband delivered!

Every Sunday I make a big dinner, complete with dessert, and sometimes that dessert is cake. Earlier in the month I had a craving for lemon cake, and so I made an angel food one. Fun fact: you can easily do this by substituting half the water in a typical angel food cake mix with lemon juice. I think it would be even better with some lemon zest, but alas, I had no lemons.

It was perfect with raspberries and a dollop of non-dairy whipped cream.

Channelling Mr. T

When I was about fifteen, a boy told me that I wore “more jewelry than Mr. T,” and I have taken that to heart as my personal esthetic ever since. It’s a good goal in life.

I have switched into my Spring Uniform, which typically is a short-sleeved top and jeans, as opposed to my Winter Uniform, which is a sweater and jeans. The move to the short sleeves is a significant one, though, because it means I can wear multiple bracelets on my left wrist, without getting them jammed in clothing.

Except for the chakra bracelet, which was given to me years ago by a yoga student, I bought all these in Vietnam at the floating market.

My look reminds me of when I was about thirteen, and I was low-key terrified of my friend Julie’s very stern German father (HI JULIE). He looked at me one day, me with my armful of jelly and friendship bracelets, and said, gruffly, Why do you wear so many bracelets? before staring me down. Eeep! I don’t know! When later Julie told her dad – in front of me! – that I was scared of him, he said, sternly, Why? I like Nicole. Upon that statement, he stared at me silently, while I wished I could melt into the floor.

Outfit of the Month

Behold the Spring Uniform!

The big smile on my face tells you that we were on our way to the garden centre! Short sleeved chakra tee, Silver jeans which are “boyfriend cut,” Skecher Mary Janes, and my beloved old Lululemon bag. I don’t really think I need a bag this size anymore, but I just cannot quit it.

Isn’t that yellow shrub pretty? Its next stage is green leaves and flowers. It delivers beauty year-round. I feel like that should be a segue into a discussion about seasons, seasons of life, perimenopause, and all the sweatiness, but I will leave that for another post. In the meantime, what were your Favourites this month? Tell me everything. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Southeast Asia Adventure Edition

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I’ve been home for two and a half weeks, and it already feels like my trip to Southeast Asia was some kind of dream that happened ages ago. This month has just flown by, what with travel and then recovering from travel, with catching up on all the one million things that I was behind on because of travel, and with running errands and going to appointments and all the little things that add up to make a life.

February is a short month, that’s true, but still I can hardly believe it’s time for Favourite Things already!

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Southeast Asia Adventure Edition

ELEPHANTS

Right out of the gate, I’m going to talk about elephants. Being around those magnificent creatures was the highlight of the trip – maybe even of my life – to the point that I can barely remember the rest of the tour. I have to go back and look at photos to remind myself that yes, there were MANY other incredible experiences. But elephants!

Such intelligent, beautiful animals. I love them, and it was such an incredible gift to be able to be so close to them and to see their personalities. The young male was particularly funny; he kept shoving greenery and bunches of bananas underneath his tusks, stealthily removing them to eat later. While we were in the pond bathing them, the male’s caretaker said something to him, at which point the elephant lowered his trunk into the water, raised it slowly, and sprayed us. I got sprayed! By an elephant! I did not even know that was on my list of things I wanted to happen in my life, but it was.

Silk and Silver

Cambodia is renowned for silver and for silk, and I love both of those things. We visited a silk farm and watched women weave; it was fascinating and intricate work, and the amount of labour that goes into a single scarf is astounding. I felt a strong sense of duty to support the local economy!

In Hong Kong: red wine and silk, two Favourite Things.

I have loved silver jewelry since I was a young teen, and when we visited a women-run family silversmith business, I had a hard time not buying everything I saw. After all, there’s always room in the carryon for necklaces.

I also fell in love with this little Buddha, who serenely sits on a windowsill.

Watch Out!

On our last day in Cambodia, my beloved Garmin watch died. It just completely and suddenly died, and I was bereft. And then I was bereft that I was bereft, because what kind of spoiled and terrible person is upset about a watch in a country where people are worried about things like land mines and poverty and lack of education.

And yet.

When it died, I realized that I check my watch many, many times an hour. Every time I reflexively looked at my naked wrist I felt sad anew, and then I felt sad for being sad, the snake is eating its tail. The day after the premature Garmin death, we flew to Bangkok, and as it turns out you can buy literally anything in Bangkok. If you can’t, it’s because it doesn’t exist. This is particularly true for technology, and so my husband and I headed for Siam Square mall on our free evening, where I found a Garmin and my husband found a sun hat and mango sticky rice.

This new updated watch is very fun as it gives me all sorts of cheerful encouragement throughout the day. Also I like to say, casually, I bought it in Bangkok. Just going to the mall in Bangkok felt like an adventure; we took tuk-tuks there and back and I did have a thought, as we zipped in and out of relentless traffic, breathing in fumes with the wind in our faces, what if we get in an accident? Well, if we did, I would not be here to tell the tale. Fortunately we did not, and we were able to witness the absolute chaos of one of the biggest malls in Bangkok on a Saturday night. So many teenagers! So many insanely loud people with microphones doing demonstrations of things I didn’t understand! So many interesting outfits! So many girls dressed like anime characters!

Not, obviously, the mall in Bangkok, but a photo of my new watch in the wild.

Mangoes and Pineapples

Speaking of mango sticky rice! I have never liked mangoes, but I now realize that is because I have always had Canadian imported mangoes, not fresh ripe ones. I could not get enough of fresh Thai mangoes, or of pineapple.

We visited a pineapple farm where I learned how they are grown. When I expressed astonishment, one of my new tour group friends said What, did you think they grew on a tree? and I guess I DID think that. More accurately, I have never once thought about it, which seems strange but is true. Anyway, a single pineapple takes one and a half years to grow, and each plant can grow up to three pineapples in its life. One and a half years! I am in awe of this spiky, crowned crop.

Shine On

Months ago my friend Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) recommended Neutrogena’s Invisible Daily Face Serum with SPF 50 and since I am a huge fan both of Suzanne and of Neutrogena products, I snapped one up later that same day. I will go on record to say that it is the best face sunscreen I have ever found. It’s light and not greasy, and is perfect for the kind of heat and humidity that I experienced in Asia.

I wanted to take a light foundation or BB cream as well, but all my containers felt a little big for the amount of makeup that I wanted. I want to be efficient with the amount of liquids I take in carryon luggage, and so I was intrigued by the tiny tube of Fenty Matte makeup that I saw on sale at Sephora. I think this tiny tube may see me into my grave, or, more accurately, it’s going to go bad before I use it up. It is a VERY high coverage item, so only the tiniest dab, mixed with the Neutrogena serum, is needed for a perfect, matte finish that – and I am not exaggerating here – lasts all day. Now, would I use this matte makeup at home in a dry Kelowna winter? I certainly would not. But it was perfect for the extreme humidity and heat. Even when my eye makeup melted, giving me the look of heavy eyeshadow without ever wearing eyeshadow, my skin stayed perfectly matte. THAT, my friends, is a product.

Outfit of the Month

It was handy that we went to the mall in Bangkok, because as it turned out, I had a pressing clothing need. The next day we were going to the Grand Palace, and my clothes were all, apparently, inappropriate. I had researched clothing requirements going in and I knew that my knees and shoulders needed to be covered much of the time, but what I didn’t know was that at the Grand Palace, “knees covered” only referred to skirts. Our guide told me that my capri-length pants were forbidden, and to just wear long pants. Friends, I did not have any long pants, and when I said this, three women in our group said, incredulously and almost in chorus, Nicole, you don’t have PANTS? followed by three offers to loan me some. I would have taken them up on had I not seen this skirt at an outdoor kiosk at the mall:

I think I’m entering my long floaty skirt era. Once I got used to not stepping on it while going up the stairs, I really loved wearing it. So light! So cool! So princess-like! I wore it to the Grand Palace, with a sleeved tee from the Gap that I bought ages ago, and Skecher sandals, and then I wore it again later that night after my second shower of the day. It was extremely hot at the Grand Palace, and so my clothing was less fresh than I would have liked, but sacrifices must be made in the name of travel. An old friend of my husband’s happened to be in Bangkok for only a few days at the exact time we were there, and so we met up with him for dinner, where I nosily dug into his entire backstory. He is what I would call a free spirit, and has been travelling the world for the past forty years. He regaled me with tales from the first time he was in Thailand, thirty years ago. Malaria and amoebic dysentery featured heavily in some of the stories, and I was here for it. Amoebic dysentery! I guess I ate something I shouldn’t have he said when I asked multiple questions, which feels like an understatement of all time. None of this has anything to do with my new skirt and my new era of long floaty skirt wearing, but it was an interesting night out.

It’s a privilege to travel and a privilege to come home. I hope your month was full of Favourite Things too. Tell me everything. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Brought To You By The Letter C Edition

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As I was putting together my Favourite Things this month, I realized that all of them started, or sort of started, with the letter C. So many C words! But not this C word:

My friend Hannah (HI HANNAH) sent that to me a few years ago and I think about it constantly. Every time I feel grumpy or irritated, including but not limited to around the holiday season, I think I’m a cunty reindeer topiary today! It is immediately cheering.

So I guess that IS kind of one of my Favourite Things.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Brought To You By The Letter C Edition

Correcting The Crepe

Listen, I am a Lady of a Certain Age, and while I do not, Nora Ephron-like, feel bad about my neck, I also don’t feel great about it. I mean, it’s fine. When I smile fully all the ligaments pop out like a striated tree trunk, and it’s slightly shadowed by jowls, but in general, it’s fine. It’s a neck. Nothing is going to change those features.

But I do want the skin on my neck – and decolletage – to be as smooth as possible, and so I was influenced by a podcaster to buy this cream from Gold Bond:

I must tell you that the influencer in question is in her thirties and so I question how much crepe she is correcting, here, but I have been using this for the requisite (for me) three months, and I can say that I do see a difference. I apply a little to my stomach and lower back as well, and I really think my skin is much softer and less crepey. At the very least, it’s extremely moisturizing and also unscented, so it would probably be great for anyone suffering from winter-dry, sensitive skin.

Caffeine, Inside and Out

There are people who don’t mainline caffeine like their lives and the lives of their loved ones depend on it, and there are people who don’t wear mascara. I salute them all. However, as we all know I am an addict of both items. In addition to drinking vast amounts of coffee every day, I also like to use it in my skin care routine, specifically in my daytime undereye cream. I used to exclusively use The Ordinary Caffeine Solution, but a few months ago I bought Neutrogena’s Caffeine Undereye Cream SPECIFICALLY because I got PC points for Neutrogena products at Superstore.

Does it work? I have no idea, because I do not know what I’d look like without using a caffeinated undereye cream. But it has a nice little tingle to it and my undereye bags do not look like steamer trunks, so I will take it as a win. I do have little wrinkles around my eyes but, as esteemed beauty editor Val Monroe says, those are the least unbeautiful lines on my face.

Casing The Joint

Speaking of the letter C, my beloved Aunty C (HI AUNTY) has been gently after me for years to use a silk pillowcase, and for years I have gently ignored this advice because I am half Scottish. I already have a pillowcase! I would think, in a miserly manner, looking at the price of silk pillowcases. Plus, if you have one you have to have two, as they are hand-wash-hang-to-dry items. What am I, made of money? However. Blissy had a wild Black Friday sale, and I quickly consulted Aunty C to get her opinion on the brand. She mentioned that a couple of other brands had a better gromme count, something I have zero knowledge about, but, as she says, at the end of the day, the sale wins. I crossed the Rubicon, so to speak, and she was right: I’m never looking back.

Not only do I see an improvement in my skin and less hair breakage, but it’s also cooler, and I think we all know that Ladies of a Certain Age enjoy a bit of coolness in the bedroom. We are Hot Stuff, literally and figuratively.

Plus it comes in such a cute little box! What I wouldn’t have done for a handy little box like this when I was a kid, in which to keep treasures and doll clothes and whatnot. I have saved the boxes and maybe there will be a treasure that needs a home.

Creatine-ing a Monster

My husband and sons have used creatine “for gains” for a number of years, and I was always quite critical of this. My husband would assure me that creatine is “the most researched supplement on the planet” which is probably true, because men. However! I dug in my heels and argued against it, and my argument was an unresearched “that’s stupid.”

Well, well, well. How the mighty have fallen. Just like everything I have viewed through the Judgmental Lens in my life, this has come back to bite me. It all started when my husband started telling me about new research regarding perimenopausal women and creatine, and how many benefits accrue from its usage, including increased bone density. And that, right there, is my kryptonite. I feel that I spent my prime bone-building years neglecting my poor skeleton, if not outwardly abusing it. I have been trying very hard to make up for those lost years, and so I now grimly scoop some creatine into my morning BCAA mixture.

I’ve been using this for, again, three months, and I really have gotten stronger. The econometrician in me would like to note that it is impossible to net out the changes from regular strength gains through the routine I’ve had in place for the last five years, as I am not living a sliding-door kind of double life. However, I have noticed a real increase and that makes me and my skeleton happy.

Cardio Queen

To me, there are few things less interesting to read or write about than the details of workout routines, but I got a very fun, workout-adjacent question in my Ask Me Anything from Lindsay (HI LINDSAY): How do you select your Peloton classes? Do you plan them in advance or go with vibes on the day?

This summer will mark six years since my husband, in what can only be called an act of self-preservation, rearranged our basement in order to fit the Peloton which he had ordered for me. It is never a chore for me to do my nearly-daily ride, and that is because I have a very specific, very joyful way of choosing them: I have a backlog of “bookmarked” rides based on the instructor and the playlist. Over the past six years I’ve developed a roster of favourite instructors based on general vibes and class programming (more climbs, fewer sprints): Ally, Cody, Hannah, and the entire British team. I rarely, if ever, take classes outside of that roster. But that’s not enough – I am very motivated by music, and so I always check the playlist first. My preference are “decades” rides, specifically from the 80s and 90s. If there is a disco ride? I can’t hit “start” fast enough!

I typically have a length of time in mind based on the day of the week, and so I look at the bookmarked classes and choose one. To answer Lindsay’s question, it’s a little bit planned and a little bit vibes, but it’s always great music and a fun, usually but not always British, instructor.

Sweaty selfie! Disco ride! Strange neck ligaments! This photo has it all.

Outfit of the Month

I was toying with discontinuing my favourite monthly outfit, but you know what? I love seeing other people’s clothes and so I’m going to keep it up for a while yet.

I have a few girlfriends – Florence, Carolyn, and Darlene specifically (HI FLORENCE HI CAROLYN HI DARLENE) who wear a lot of white and they look like snowy foxes. So crisp! So lovely! And I love the way I look in white so I always want to emulate that Snowy Fox Look, but practicality must, occasionally, prevail. All these gorgeous women go about their days in white tops and even white pants, looking fresh, and I do not know how. I know if I so much as buttoned up a pair of white pants, seconds later Rex would lean against me after rolling around outside, or I would sit in something, or I would immediately spill food or drink, or I would suddenly and unexpectedly experience an epically heavy rogue period. But every once in a while I throw caution to the wind and put on a white top, like this sheer Lululemon one with a white-and-grey striped tank underneath, a grey cardigan for warmth, and jeans.

But of course I spend ages in the kitchen every day and so I try to keep things pristine with an apron; this one was brought from Scotland by my parents many years ago.

Sadly, at dinner I managed to somehow spill salsa on my sleeve, rendering the apron useless for the intended purpose. I guess one of my Favourite Things is also Oxy Clean, for such occasions.

Friends, I am taking a blog break for a couple of weeks, and when I’m back I will have news, stories, and adventures to share. Take care of yourselves tenderly, and I will see you all (C you all?) in February. xo