Saturday marked exactly three years since I packed up Rex and the Subaru, said goodbye to my beloved, cosy bungalow and life in Calgary, and drove eight hours to our new home in Kelowna; the guys and the moving van followed a few days later. It feels like an actual lifetime ago. It WAS a lifetime ago. I can remember, albeit fuzzily, the absolute overwhelm that came from such a big move; the administrative tasks alone were endless. I also remember the adjustment period; it was a huge change to go from an urban neighbourhood where I could walk to every amenity to living on an acreage at the end of a dead-end road in the agricultural section of town. More than anything, I remember really missing the feeling of being a valued and known member of various communities: yoga, the neighbourhood, my friend group. It was such a sad and unsettling feeling, being an anonymous stranger who didn’t know where the post office was, let alone how to find a doctor or a dog groomer.
But time is the panacea for most things, as it was for this. I now have to factor in Chat Time every time I go for a walk, I have a fabulous group of friends, I am a familiar face at the grocery store, farm market, post office, winery, and library. It’s hard to remember that deflated feeling I had, now.
One thing that has been consistent since our move is my love for our house. This house is so beautiful, and after 23 years in a north-facing, 1962 bungalow, I was thrilled from day one with the sudden acquisition of all the things I didn’t have before: the abundance of natural light, cupboard, and closet space, a mudroom, a pantry, a laundry room, and an ensuite. The novelty hasn’t worn off. Every single day I am grateful for every single one of these things, not a day goes by when I don’t marvel at them.
In my Ask Me Anything – back in December! I am nothing if not prompt – my friend San (HI SAN) asked: What is your favourite room in the house? The answer is the same when asked about my favourite month: I don’t have one. They are all my favourite in their own way! They all have wonderful things to recommend them, but I thought I would talk about the rooms I spend the most time in.
Upon entering the house, it is a straight shot from the beloved mudroom to the kitchen, living room, dining room, and deck. I love that we have dinner every day overlooking our beautiful view, I love our cozy living room, I love my spacious and bright kitchen. And of course, I love our deck! It’s an extra room during the warm months, and it’s where I can be found, reading, for a good part of the day.
When it’s not warm enough to be on the deck, I like to curl up on the couch, reading. Rex generally wedges himself between the couch and the coffee table, because I just cannot be close enough.
Those gold-framed flower pictures in the background were painted and given to me by my dear friend Florence (HI FLORENCE) before I left Calgary, and I think of her every single day when I see them. Also, full disclosure, I started this post a few months ago and then it fell off the radar, which explains Rex’s fuzziness in some photos.
The pandemic was terrible for many reasons, but, as Ma Ingalls says, there is no great loss without some small gain and for me, that was my Peloton bike. I love our home gym; we had one in Calgary too, but it was much smaller, and this one has a squat rack, which I use for pull-up practice.
I write in our office, and although it tends to be a bit of a catchall for some items (I think there still is a box that really should be unpacked and dealt with), I love the space. The shelves are filled with photos and albums, the kids’ craft and woodshop projects, and my husband’s prized bowling trophy from 1978.
I don’t spend a ton of time in here, but I love that we have a guest room and that our bookshelves fit so perfectly!
Enroute to our bedroom is our wall of photographs; some are from recent travels and some were on our walls in our Calgary house. Every one of them is a great memory. In this photo you can see the doors to the boys’ rooms – so spacious! – and also their bathroom. Really, since there is only one boy living at home, it’s HIS bathroom.
Where the magic happens! Also, while I like to stretch out on the deck or curl up on the couch, my husband enjoys reading in the recliner. But what’s that on his bedside table?
Inhale Exhale! Not just for middle-aged women! My husband proclaims it is his favourite book, and god, I love that man. I love that it is positioned perfectly next to his blood pressure monitor.
Weekly Reading
Speaking of books! I am CRUSHING my goal of DNFing when a book isn’t working for me, and this week it was Villa Coco. Clearly this author is not for me as I slogged through his Less in 2017 and I abandoned ship on this one at page 40. It had so many elements that I thought I’d love: setting in Tuscany, a sassy 92-year-old female side character, and an illicit affair. Very Nicole-coded! But wow, was I bored. I realized there is a huge wait list for this at the library, so the best thing I could do was return it early.
Dear Monica Lewinsky. Who among us has not had a youthful indiscretion? I have long thought that Monica Lewinsky is the most maligned woman of my lifetime; imagine your youthful indiscretion resulted in betrayal by a close girlfriend, becoming the focus of international attention and intense ridicule, being slut-shamed and weight-shamed and all-around-shamed, being the frequent subject of sexist, rude, crass jokes on late night television and Saturday night live, not to mention national programs and publications, having your entire reputation precede you forever at the age of 25, being unable to find a job or to outrun your persona as a gross whore, and, at the end of the day, having the man with whom you had this youthful indiscretion deny the whole thing and then having to prove it by getting a DNA sample of the jizz he left on your dress? Let us all remember what we were like at 22, let us all remember the rush of power and the butterflies of adoration, and let us imagine our lives being forever changed afterward. Or maybe there is no imagining needed. This book deals with a woman facing her own youthful indiscretion and how it impacted her life forever; she calls for help from a canonized Monica Lewinsky. The book interweaves the lives of female saints with the story of the young woman’s time at an art history summer program, using the cleverest, wittiest writing I have seen in a long while. I loved this book and I am standing with my fist raised against powerful men who use young women for their own desires and then step away unscathed, while the women deal with the fallout. Also, fuck the patriarchy that makes girls and women feel their worth lies only in their ability to attract the male gaze.
Saoirse. What happens when the people who are supposed to protect children don’t? What happens when children fall through the cracks? Can a person outrun their past? These are all questions that are answered through this book, which features a very young American woman who flees to Ireland with a stolen identity. This is a very readable book with beautiful prose, and I liked but did not love it. I found some of the relationships and storylines strained credulity; for example, I cannot imagine housing a person, rent-free and indefinitely, in my home, whom my son sat next to on an airplane. I cannot imagine a relationship that would be love at first sight and then that love would endure after years of not seeing each other, but I suppose it could happen. I found the antagonists to be quite flat and one-dimensional. But these quibbles do not mean that this is not a good story containing characters who do have lavish and interesting backstories – it is. But it’s a little too neat for my personal taste.
Best Offer Wins. Speaking of dream homes, how far would you go to get yours? Probably not as far as our narrator, Margo, who becomes increasingly unhinged as entering the DC housing market becomes more and more unattainable. This is a wild ride; it’s very pacey and entertaining, and I was thoroughly engrossed in this absolutely insane effort to obtain the house of our narrator’s dreams.
Summer is just flying by, friends! I can hardly believe it. I’m heading to the beach today with some girlfriends, which feels like a very luxurious thing to do on a Monday! I hope you have a week with such little luxuries ahead of you. xo
