Category Archives: Beauty and body

Makeup As Self Care

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I was chatting with my dear friends Hannah and Allison last week (HI HANNAH HI ALLISON) about the skin care regimes of our youth. How, I ask you, do we even have skin after the 80s? I don’t know what you were doing in 1988, but in addition to pinning my future on being a mayor of an undisclosed jurisdiction, I was also using a Buf Puf to apply St Ives Apricot Scrub to my face twice daily, and following that procedure with a bracing application of Sea Breeze. Hannah and I recalled also applying toothpaste and rubbing alcohol to our pimples, and all I can say is that I’m glad my skin has forgiven me my trespasses.

My skin care routine has evolved greatly since those days, but my love of makeup, and my basic makeup procedure remains the same. Since I started wearing makeup circa 1987, I have always maintained a dark eye and a dark lip, although I do not wear Revlon’s Love That Red anymore.

This perfectly sums up “Nicole at Sixteen.” This was my favourite outfit of all time – Canadian girls of a certain age will remember Le Chateau, dream store, and I adored this swing top with a matching miniskirt. I mean, I’d probably still wear it now. And of course, Love That Red! Note the spiral perm.

In my younger years I was made to feel a lot of shame about my love for makeup, vanity being a grave character flaw. But for me, makeup is actually self-care. I do not feel ready for my day without my makeup on, and I refuse to feel badly about that. I wear a full face of makeup every single day, no matter what I am doing, no matter who I am seeing or not seeing, and no matter where I am going or not going. It’s such an important part of my day. I cannot write unless I am showered, dressed, made up, and sitting at my desk. Basically I can’t function without that routine. And yes, I probably do think that song is about me, but it’s more than that, it makes me feel good about myself. I guess I work from the outside in.

Last month my friends Elisabeth and Sarah (HI ELISABETH HI SARAH) posted about their makeup routines; Elisabeth’s specifically is “3 Minute, Cheap, and Minimal.” I would say mine would be whatever the opposite of that is, although to be fair, it probably only takes about ten minutes. It’s not minimal, and it’s not particularly cheap, although I do use some drugstore products. The only time that I would say it is minimal and takes three minutes is post-exercise, pre-walking the dog, where I put on a mere four products: SPF moisturizer, pressed powder, mascara, and tinted lip balm.

My post-walk-and-shower face includes many more products:

First I put on undereye cream (currently Neutrogena Caffeine) and the Ordinary serum on my forehead.

Then comes Smashbox Primer and Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint with SPF 40, although between early morning walks and general winter cloudiness, my face hasn’t been really exposed to the sun since Morocco.

You can take the girl out of the 80s, but you can’t take the 80s out of the girl: this is too dewy for me to leave it on its own. Matte face is part of my deeply ingrained sense of self, and so I add L’Oreal pressed powder.

The eyes are what takes the most time, and I use an Annabelle liner in dark brown plus Maybelline’s The Falsies Surreal in black. Or meta black, or whatever ridiculous shade of black I happen to pick up.

Next up, L’Oreal blush and Maybelline Express Brow to smooth out the greying, patchy eyebrows.

And then to finish it off, I put on some lipstick, and I have many brands that I like, but Maybelline Ultimatte in Taupe is my favourite. Pictured is Clinique’s famous Black Honey.

You know those quizzes where you are asked what three things – products, books, food items – you would take with you if you were to be stranded on a desert island? I hate those quizzes, probably because I think way too hard about them. I get actually stressed, thinking what would I cut, the eyeliner or the lipstick? I can’t cut the SPF! I mean, the probability that I am going to be stranded on a desert island with my choice of three things is, as we say in statistical analysis, approaching zero, and even if I was, I would probably be desperately trying to survive rather than rereading three favourite books. If I’m going to be stranded on a desert island, I am going to be Mrs Howell, or I’m not doing it.

Weekly Reading

Speaking of my wayward youth, I decided this week would be Childhood Reread Week in the Boyhouse, and wow, was it fun. Here we go!

Eight Cousins and Rose In Bloom. From the author of my number-one childhood book, Little Women, these books were loved (as you can clearly see) by me. I decided this would be the week to revisit childhood favourites and I can see why I loved them so much: Rose is an heiress and an orphan who is brought up by her sea merchant uncle, and she has a whole passel of aunts and cousins as well. Her uncle has some pretty radical ideas about girls and women – namely, that they are not memerly ornaments but actual humans with brains and spirits and flaws, and should engage in outdoor exercise and shun corsets and other unhealthy things. Well, it was wildly radical back in the 1870s. Anyway, it was a fun reread, other than the very weird and unsettling plotline that all the aunts are proponents of Rose marrying one of her cousins to keep her fortune in the family. That part is not great. But the description of gowns and ballroom dances? Yes please.

Sweet Valley High Box Set Volumes 5-8. Wow, did I ever have a skewed idea of what high school would be like, when I read these in Grades 4 and 5. I mean, I basically NEVER went to the beach in my red Fiat Spider. Because I didn’t have one and also I lived in Calgary. There is a wild amount of death and near date rape in these books, and also a lot of bikinis. I recommend these as a hilarious reread, if only for the descriptions of the clothing and the references to Bo Derek. It’s well worth the 45 minutes it takes to read each book. First we have All Night Long, where Jessica narrowly escapes date rape after being at a party – that lasted ALL NIGHT LONG – with a college age boy, who sports a very sexy moustache. Worse luck, she misses her test to become a…tour guide of sorts? I don’t know. Elizabeth saves the day by doing the whole twin thing and pretending to be Jessica but a fight with Todd means she’s TOO UPSET to do well on the test. She makes up with Todd only to find out that…Dangerous Love: Todd has bought a motorcycle! And Elizabeth is NOT allowed on it, because her cousin (Rexy!!!) DIED in a motorcycle accident. But she’s scared to tell him. Finally she does and it’s okay, he’ll just give other girls rides. ON HIS MOTORBIKE, PEOPLE. But then he decides to sell it. Elizabeth goes for broke and decides she’s going to have one ride before the bike is gone, but, in a crazy twist of irony, they are hit by a drunk driver, and that drunk driver is the very person who was going to buy the motorcycle! And now Elizabeth’s in a coma. Is she going to make it? Dear Sister: Well, she wakes up but her personality is changed! Now she’s just like Jessica. She’s out-Jessica-ing Jessica and will have NOTHING to do with Todd. And she ends up almost being date-raped by Bruce Patman (1BRUCE1) but as he’s fetching them unlawful alcohol, she slips, falls, and hits her head – and she’s back to being Elizabeth! Escape from Bruce, Elizabeth! But as Elizabeth is being Jessica, Jessica is being Elizabeth, and winning over Bill, the surfer guy. Heart Breaker: But Jessica really doesn’t want anything to do with Bill, she’s just getting back at him for turning her down for a long-ago Sadie Hawkins dance. Jessica, like an elephant, never forgets. They are in the school play together and the worm turns when a Hollywood scout watches it and thinks that Bill is the next Robert Redford. Well! Jessica is now actually interested but too late, because Bill is going out with DeeDee the surfer girl. Unfortunately we will never know what happens next because I don’t have any more volumes. Will Lila really go out with Roger? Probably not; she’s rich and he works as a janitor so his family can pay the rent, and we do NOT cross socioeconomic lines in Sweet Valley.

Charlotte’s Web. I am finishing Childhood Reread Week with a classic – this isn’t my childhood copy, I don’t think I even had a copy, but I read it to my kids when they were little. And they don’t remember it at all except that the spider dies. But not before she saves the life of Wilbur the pig! No wonder I have an affinity for farm animals and spiders. Don’t squish them! They have a job to do, people!

I was informed that there is a podcast called Double Trouble which deep dives every single book and you can bet I will be listening to it along with Listen To Sassy, just to relive my youth. The good parts of my youth! Not the Sea Breeze and rubbing alcohol. Again, I am sending out gratitude to my face for still existing after all that agony. I hope you are all having a beautiful week, friends. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “It Was Warm and Smelled of Yummy Things” Edition

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At this time of year when my kids were small, we would read many holiday-themed books, and the favourite of all of ours was The Littlest Christmas Tree, about a tiny tree who despairs of ever becoming a Christmas tree because of his diminutive size.

Eventually the tree is taken by the tree lot man, who is actually a squirrel. “They walked for what seemed like forever, and then suddenly stopped. The man carried the Littlest Tree inside, where it was warm and smelled of yummy things. The Littlest Tree looked around and thought Oh, this must be a home.“

I would pause at that point because the three of us would all be teary-eyed and emotional. This must be a home. I think about that all the time, and to this day both of my sons remind me of it.

One of my goals in life has been to have a home that feels like a home, warm and smelling of yummy things, and I think I have achieved that. My sons told me that our house WAS famous for its smell of baking and general plethora of baked goods, back in the day when it would be swarmed by boys. This is MUCH better than one friend, whose house apparently smelled like garbage, and another, whose house smelled like feet. Well, that latter one had three boys in athletics, so there’s really no getting around that.

Anyway, I do think this is the season for warmth and yummy things, and on that note:

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “It Was Warm and Smelled of Yummy Things” Edition

It’s Mint Chocolate Season, Motherfuckers

Am I just going to say It’s X Season, Motherfuckers for every single Favourites Thing post going forward? I make no promises but it feels like a pattern. Every fall – or, technically, late summer – the Pumpkin Spice People get all excited, and I am happy for them, but I am not of them. I merely think yes, yes, my pretties, wait until November 1st, when it is MY time to shine. Oh, how I love mint chocolate. I love it in all iterations. I love making mint squares and peppermint bark – both, I should say, are vegan, if that’s something you look for in your holiday treats – I love eating peppermint Lindt and York patties and After Eights and even Chipits mint chips straight out of the bag, in a minty emergency. In my recent Ask Me Anything, San (HI SAN) asked what my favourite ice cream flavour is and, sadly, ice cream is no longer part of my life. Well, non-dairy ice cream is, but I have yet to find my favourite flavour in non-dairy form, namely mint chocolate chip.

No matter. Frozen minty treats are just as good!

Typically, I drink my coffee black. When you drink in excess of fifty cups a week, black is definitely the way to go. However, on weekends I like what I call, when talking to Rex, a little treat-treat, and then I pull out the peppermint mocha non-dairy creamer.

Isn’t that mug adorable? My niece picked it out for me, saying Aunty Nicole loves mugs AND gnomes, we have to get it! It’s true! I DO love both of those things!

Wine Time

Speaking of gnomes, my dear friends Jen and Dom (HI JEN HI DOM) gave me these VERY fancy wine glasses for my birthday. Wine, gnomes, Christmas? ALL OF MY FAVOURITES ROLLED INTO ONE.

It reminded me somewhat of a little friend of my son’s who, for her sixth birthday, declared the party theme to be ROYAL CHRISTMAS TEA PARTY!!! My friend, her mother, thought that was a lot of specificity for a sixth birthday party and yet, the Royal Christmas Tea Party went off without a hitch. For me, my weekly wine time is now Christmas Gnome Wine Party!

Love Makes Little Things Grow

Speaking of gnomes, my friend Joy (HI JOY), who is the actual physical embodiment of her name brought me this:

Isn’t it the cutest? If that wasn’t enough for my off-season growing love, my friend Sandi (HI SANDI) gave me an amaryllis bulb.

Since Noelle, my non-blooming Christmas cactus is not only still non-blooming, but seems to be almost dead, I’m happy to have something new to grow and love.

Does anyone remember the television show Clifford’s Puppy Days, where the theme song was Love Makes Little Things Grow? If you need a little nostalgic festive cry, there’s your link.

Isn’t She Lovely

For those of you following along with the Saga of the Stand Mixer, here is the beauty that now graces my home. Buddy the Elf, what’s your favourite colour? This! This is my favourite colour although not, obviously, for clothing. Wearing robin-egg blue makes me look corpse-adjacent.

When you have an appliance for a long time, you get used to the way that it works, you know all its little quirks and ways, and then when a new appliance comes along, the difference in functionality is vast. This was like trading in a broken down old Dodge Caravan with wood siding for a Porsche 911. I was absolutely astonished at how well this new mixer works, how efficient and quick it mixes everything together perfectly. It has an attachment that has a SPATULA BUILT IN. It scrapes the bowl ALL BY ITSELF. It is a whole new world for me, friends. It made baking my grandma’s gingersnaps a snap.

Let me tell you, this made our house smell like yummy things, because these are the yummiest cookies around.

Scent of a Cookie-Woman

I have long loved Dove products, and when I saw a set of Limited Edition Sugar Cookie-scented products, I was all in. Marketers know what’s what, let me tell you. They know someone like me is shopping for just a regular product, but then the words Limited Edition jump out, and before you know it, I’m exfoliating and shaving with things that smell like…well, not really sugar cookies. I would never sniff this and say sugar cookies, yes. It’s a pleasant, ginger-forward scent which I do not associate with sugar cookies, but, as mentioned above, I do enjoy it.

Outfit of the Month

I was invited to a festive Sunday afternoon open house, which is a very fun kind of gathering that calls for what I think of as Festive Casual Fashion. I had a perfect outfit for it, but before I get to that, let me tell you about the two remarkable things that happened at said party.

First, I was talking to a woman who I had just met, and we were doing the customary small-talk of basic backstories when she interrupted me to say that the math wasn’t adding up. She went on to say that I must be older than she thought, because I had mentioned my sons and their ages, 20 and 21. This woman thought I was thirty-five or thirty-six. Reader, I married her.

Another woman, unknown to both of us, joined in on our conversation and this is where things took a turn. We three were talking about our dogs, all of us being dog people and dog lovers, and this is a very important point. All of us. Dog lovers. Dog owners. When I mentioned Rex the Bernedoodle, the new woman asked if I knew much about the breed, before going on to say that Bernese Mountain dogs are notably short-lived, and the Bernese that she had known had all died not long past their fifth birthday. This was after – AFTER – I had relayed Rex’s age, which is four and a half. She hoped, she said, that this wouldn’t be the case for me. Maybe, she mused aloud, the poodle part would add to the longevity, but who knew, because, as she said before, every Bernese she knew died young.

If you could have seen the look on my face and that on the woman who mistook me for someone much younger. Our faces were the absolute personification of What The Fuck. We both stood, mute, with mouths open, heads tilted to the side, and a slight furrow in our brows.

I think I even made that hand gesture, before excusing myself to get another cookie. Some people are just VERY BAD at conversation, and this woman was clearly such a person. She didn’t even backpedal, she just KEPT GOING. Small dogs live so long! And big ones die early. Especially Bernese.

Anyway. Let’s get to the outfit! These pants are probably the most comfortable pants ever, and that is coming from someone who has spent the entirety of 2025 searching for and wearing comfortable pants. They are from Lululemon, and the turtleneck sweater is one I’ve had for a decade or so. The boots are winter ones, and the pendant was a gift from Sandi, last Christmas (HI SANDI, AGAIN). (I gave her my heart) (the very next day she gave it away but gave me a pendant instead which I love and wear for every occasion that I can).

I hope you are having a week in which you are warm, and surrounded by the smells of yummy things. I personally will be making more yummy things on the weekend, because this week, friends, THIS WEEK. I am a husk of a woman, let’s put it that way. I had multiple administrative things to do before Friesen Press closes for the holiday season, I went to the MALL to buy a new phone, which yay, new phone, but also, the mall the week before Christmas is not for the faint of heart, and speaking of things that are not for the faint of heart, I was at Costco and Superstore. I will only say that in both cases I kept saying to myself put your patience pants on and everyone is a beginner at some point, not everyone is adept at Costco shopping and we are all gathered together in this thing called life, buying groceries. I will say that I got into a very involved and lovely conversation with an employee who was tidying the carts in the parking lot. It started with apples and ended up with Nickelback and Guy Fieri, both of whom the Cart Fellow had met and both of whom we admire. Do not come at me! I am unapologetic in my love for both, and I will hear no dissenters!

Take care of yourselves during this busy time, friends. Don’t forget to treat yourself to some yummy things. Maybe take a trip to Flavourtown! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Fall Follies Edition

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I was at the dog park last week, walking in my usual loop, when I passed by a man I see quite frequently. He’s probably in his 70s, and he has two dogs, one of them a very young puppy. This is against the rules – dogs less than four months are not permitted in the dog park – but I am not The Dog Park Rule Enforcer, so I usually just nod and smile. I was doing that, when he said Have you ever heard of grounding? I had my earbuds in, and wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly, so I politely paused my podcast, raised my eyebrows and tilted my head.

It’s when you stand on the ground with bare feet, facing the sun, he said, and of course I DO know that, but it was such an unexpected question from such an unexpected source. Oh yes, I have heard of th…I started to say as I looked down to see that he was indeed standing with his face to the sun, shoeless. Bare feet. In the dog park.

I blinked behind my sunglasses and then said You’re very brave to do that in the dog park! Brave? Or crazy? At that very moment, his puppy ran up to me to show me the sandal he had in his mouth, and then ran off again as the man admonished him to return it.

I kept walking.

By the time I left the park, ten minutes later, the man was still chasing the puppy, wearing only one sandal. Then I heard him call to someone that the puppy had left his sandal in the long grass and he couldn’t find it.

I hope he was able to disinfect his foot when he got home. Either that or amputate it.

I’m not saying that was one of my Favourite Things, it’s more of a PSA. If you want to ground, maybe don’t do it in a dog park.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Fall Follies Edition

Grapes of Wrath

Almost all of the grapes on the vineyard behind our house are for wine, but the four rows directly behind our house – which we own – are concords. Once those grapes ripen, the air smells like grape juice, and I cannot even begin to express how wonderful it is to walk outside and be hit by that delicious scent.

This past month, until the grapes were all harvested, I would just walk outside and pick a bunch to snack on. Just before the harvest, I snipped off three bowlfuls to enjoy for a little longer. I don’t think I will ever not love the ability to have such fresh fruit right outside my door!

A Pear Affair

Speaking of fresh fruit, the pear crop has been incredible this year as well. My son requested a pear cake for his birthday, and I was happy to oblige.

I used my friend Julie’s (HI JULIE) recipe, and I will note here that I cut the sugar in half, and it was plenty sweet that way. I followed the recipe exactly for the penuche frosting, and it made at least three times as much frosting as one could possibly pile onto the cake.

I have made this recipe before, but I hadn’t noted this down at all, so I don’t know WHAT happened. I do know that I ended up throwing out a lot of frosting, because what else could be done? I suppose I could have frozen it for later use a) when was that going to be, b) chances are I would forget it was there and then later have to chisel frozen penuche out of a container, and c) OMG IT WAS SO MUCH FROSTING. Anyway, the cake was delicious, but I have noted: cut sugar in half, make 1/3 the amount of frosting.

These Shoes Are Made For Walking

Back in my running days, I was very choosy about my footwear, and would spend quite a bit of money buying the fancy Asics Gel-what-have-you shoes. But when I stopped running, I started to buy less expensive shoes – the Skecher Go Walks. I don’t know why I thought I didn’t deserve expensive footwear anymore, particularly since I walk a minimum of five kilometres a day, often more, but that’s what happened. Even without all that walking, I STILL DESERVE DECENT FOOTWEAR.

A few weeks ago, my left foot started hurting, a lot. No problem! I had bought a pair of Skechers on sale and was just waiting for my other pair to wear out before taking them out of the box. I donned my new shoes, went for a walk, and was in pain by the end of it. Worse, the pain started in my heel, and ominous music started playing in my head. I know what heel pain means: planter fasciitis.

No! My feet are my fortune! Or, at least a very important part of me. I fretted and fretted, rolling my foot on yoga balls and massaging it and generally feeling kind of stressed about it. Not only am I on my feet for hours every day, we are going on a vacation that requires a GREAT DEAL OF WALKING very soon! I can’t not be able to walk!

My husband not-so-gently suggested I was being cheap and immediately found me a pair of Asics trail runners, appropriate for the gravelly and sometimes rocky trails that Rex and I favour.

Foot pain – gone. Let this be a lesson for us all: cheap footwear is just not worth it. And this is also a lesson in why I didn’t do another no-shopping challenge! Sometimes needs must.

Progress Not Perfection

I read an interview in Cup of Jo, and as I was looking at the photos, I thought damn, that woman has great hair. Wouldn’t you know it, she happened to mention the hair product she uses: Living Proof’s Perfect Hair Day 5-in-1 Treatment.

I ordered some, thinking it would be a good item for travel, cutting down on the many products I usually use. And friends, it worked like a dream. A DREAM!

Not only that, but my hair still felt great the next day – without washing or adding more product.

Jane, Meet The Dollhouse

I have mentioned my friend Michelle’s incredible and uplifting blog before (HI MICHELLE), and in particular I have mentioned her absolutely delightful dollhouse. Every single post is more wonderful than the last – it just gets better and better. Well, I don’t know how she is going to top this one, because she obtained a Jane Austen doll. Jane Austen! With the gnomes in the dollhouse! I am surprised I didn’t spin right off this planet.

I’m not going to steal any photos from her, obviously – you’ll just have to go to look for yourself! But in honour of her, I wore (one of) my Jane Austen tees, which is also a Favourite Thing.

Outfit of the Month

This exact outfit has been an OOTM before, but since I am shopping my closet these days – with the exception of this month’s shoes! – I thought it deserved to shine.

Yesterday my husband and I were invited to a tour and tasting at a very fancy, architecturally incredible winery, and this was the perfect choice. Sorel boots for walking and standing, tights because wineries can be really cold, and my favourite lululemon t-shirt dress. Perfectly comfortable and cute!

And now, as alluded to, I am off on an adventure! I will be taking a blog break and will see you all on the other side. Take care of yourselves, friends. xo

Our Best Friends

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As you might imagine, I very frequently get asked for book recommendations. As you might not imagine, I am almost as frequently completely at a loss for book recommendations.

I am loathe to recommend anything across the board, or really, anything at all unless I know a person well and I know their reading taste. Everyone is so different, and just because I love a book most certainly does not guarantee someone else will. In fact, my experience has been that, very often, books I love are met with dislike, boredom, or, at best, neutrality and polite confusion as to what I love about it.

And the same goes for me. I often find myself with unpopular opinions about popular books. I have a few friends who know me well enough to never recommend dystopia, for example, or fantasy. I sometimes enjoy a thriller but rarely a mystery, and horror books are far too scary for me to even contemplate.

But there is one book that I really do think every woman can benefit from. I first read it five years ago TODAY, and it completely transformed my life.

I picked up Your Body, Your Best Friend at the library in August 2020, and after I finished I immediately ordered a copy for my shelves. The author is a yoga teacher and a Zen Buddhist practitioner, and her life journey was so resonant and relatable that it felt like someone had actually looked into my soul and then written it into a book.

The book explores the concept of maitri, or loving-kindness, as practiced towards oneself. If we cannot practice maitri with ourselves, we cannot truly practice it with the world. We as women are conditioned to make ourselves small, to not take up space, and to punish ourselves or withhold joy if we don’t measure up to a certain standard. We are taught to compare ourselves to other women and to compete with them, as if the world is a cake with finite pieces, and we will only get a piece if someone else doesn’t.

I cannot overestimate how significant this book was for me. I looked at myself – really looked deeply – and realized that I had been unkind to myself lo those many years.

I have had a lot of personal growth in five years.

The moment I finished the book I vowed to never weigh myself again, and I still haven’t, five years later. That was the most concrete action I took; the rest of the lessons that I internalized were less obvious, until I reread the book this week. I have reclaimed joy in movement and joy in food, I have recognized the need for body intuition and for rest, and, crucially, I have realized that our bodies are always changing, along with our minds, our emotions, and our perspectives, and this is a beautiful thing.

Movement for joy!

Taking joy in food and movement, rather than seeing those things as punishments or rewards, is a really big thing.

Food is joy, full stop.

There was something else in the book that I found devastatingly relatable: the author’s height and age of puberty. I was also a tall girl and an early bloomer, and if you think that being 5’7″ and having a C-cup bra in seventh grade sounds good, think again. To this day when I see young teens who could “pass” for twenty, I close my eyes and say a little prayer for them, because I know what that is. I know the feeling of body hatred, I know the intense desire to be smaller, to be thinner, to be less curvy. I know what it is to wear giant sweatshirts and to walk with a slouch. I know what it is to be sexualized at a young age, to garner attention and not know what to do with it, and most of all, to feel shamed for it. I know that deep body shame.

I think we all, no matter what our experience, wish we could go back in time to love our younger selves, to wrap those shamed and self-hating girls up and keep them safe. It occurred to me that there is a way to do this.

It occurred to me that the menopause transition is very similar to puberty. In both cases, there are changes that are completely beyond our control, that make us somewhat unrecognizable to ourselves. Wild things are happening to our skin, our faces, our bodies. There are hormonal ebbs and surges, there are insecurities, and, of course, there is shame.

Until someone invents a time machine in which we can all hop on and hug our younger selves and reassure them that they are, truly, beautiful inside and out, why don’t we all do something radical and accept our truly beautiful selves as they are right now. Why don’t we all accept that our bodies are going to change as we journey throughout this life, and acknowledge that for the precious privilege that it is.

Just like we cannot truly show up for others until we show up for ourselves, let’s practice loving-kindness to ourselves NOW, as a gift to those young, insecure girls that we were, back when we were thirteen.

Weekly Reading

I am continuing to dissociate from the world by reading three books a week, so I have a couple I want to talk about in addition to Your Body, Your Best Friend. But first! Big news! I had a DNF! I started The Heart of Winter, but after reading This Is A Love Story last week, I just could NOT. I could not read about another long and tumultuous marriage that ends when one half of the couple gets a terminal diagnosis and dies. Instead, I read…

One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot. Instead of The Heart of Winter, how about a book about a 17-year-old girl with a terminal illness who befriends a similarly-dying 83-year-old in the hospital where they are both soon to meet their demise! CHEERFUL. But it is a lovely book about two friends who decide, in the hospital’s art program, to make 100 paintings for each of their 100 years, telling their life stories along the way. There are parts that you REALLY have to suspend disbelief – would a father truly just leave his 17 year old daughter in the hospital to die alone? would a nurse really be so mean to a dying teenager just because she wants to go to the chapel to visit the chaplain? how did Margot pay her bills if all she ever did was be an animal activist? – but it is just a sweet, cute book about cross-generational friendship.

Abigail and Alexa Save The Wedding. Continuing with this week’s unofficial theme – friendship – two very different ladies find themselves soon to be related via holy matrimony…in this case, they are the mothers of the bride and groom. One is a very West Coast Greek Single Mother, the other is East Coast WASP Of Reduced Means, and all is going pretty well until their children decide to CALL OFF THE WEDDING! No! Not after they’ve already secured the venue! And bought dresses! This cannot stand! The two women work together, along with a group of ladies called the Merry Widows, to bring the couple back together. Capers ensue! Let’s not overthink this, it’s just a fun, fast read.

I hope you have all had a lovely week! Mine has been filled with reading, obviously, and also a LOT of time in the garden. Lord have mercy, I have more tomatoes than I could have ever imagined. This year’s tomato is last year’s zucchini, let’s put it that way. And believe you me, I have a lot of zucchini. Lovely problems to have, for sure. xo

Enjoying What I Have

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I am constantly striving to be really mindful in terms of consumption and shopping, to be thoughtful in my purchases and to buy only what I actually need. Lately, though, I have been sliding into Mindless Clothes Shopping Territory, and I feel that it should be curbed.

It started innocently enough. Out of necessity, I have bought a lot of clothes over the past nine months, post-giant-closet-purge. Since my body changed shape, and so much of my wardrobe no longer fit in the way I wanted it to, I replaced many items with more suitable ones. I don’t regret that or feel bad about it, but I do think that “needing new jeans” didn’t really need to translate to “I just bought six pair,” and yet here we are. Wanting a new little black dress didn’t really mean that I should buy three, and I probably didn’t need five pair of capri pants and several tees and workout pieces. But again, here we are.

My bid to love my clothes again has led to me buying a lot of clothes.

The thing is, though, I do love my clothes, especially my new ones, and the truth is that I didn’t really need to hang onto things that were almost twenty years old and were ill-fitting into the bargain. I can now say with confidence that I love everything in my closet, I would happily don anything in there and feel good about it. I’m pleased with the state of my wardrobe but the nine-month shopping spree needs to end.

It’s gotten to the point where I’m just mindlessly popping onto my favourite shops’ websites, Just To Look, which of course leads to Oh That’s Cute, which then leads to Add To Cart and Checkout, which is becoming a problem. How many tees does one woman need? I don’t know but probably not seventy-six. And that doesn’t even include tanks or yoga tops.

Clearly, my tops were not part of the Great Closet Purge, and also, it’s time to reign it in. I need a reset, but I’m not sure what form that will take, exactly. I do not want to do another no-shopping challenge, if only because my husband might leave me and my mother will disown me if I attempt that again. I don’t want to say I’m not going to buy anything for x amount of time because what if my body changes again? I mean, I hope not, because this could become a very expensive endeavour, replacing clothes constantly. But I didn’t see the changes coming the first time, so it’s possible it could happen again. Also, I want to feel free to buy a new parka, if needed, or winter boots, and not feel shame about it, the way I still feel about the 100-Day Challenge, even though I’ve played piano for more than 100 days this year, just not consecutively.

So it’s time to incorporate more mindfulness into my shopping habits. I am going to make a real effort, going forward, of shopping my closet before doing anything else. I have so many beautiful things, I really do not need more. Everything fits now, nothing needs replacing, I do not need one more thing no matter how cute it is.

A few months ago, Sarah (HI SARAH) casually mentioned that she was going to enjoy what she has and those words echoed in my mind; I have been thinking about it a lot since then. We all know how exciting it is to get a new little something, whether it be a lipstick or panties or even some kind of home good, but where does it end? I DON’T NEED SEVENTY-SEVEN TEES.

I was talking with someone about Swedish Death Cleaning, and while I don’t expect to die anytime soon – or, at least, I hope not – the last thing I want when I shuffle off this mortal coil is to leave behind a landfill’s worth of clothing items. Also, I just realized that I read that book in 2018, which is startling. I thought it was during the pandemic! What is time.

Anyway. I am going to try to retrain my brain, which has unravelled in the past nine months, and which USED TO BE good at mindful shopping, to just Enjoy What I Have. I have so much! I’m going to enjoy it.

Weekly Reading

Ruby-Fruit Jungle. I picked this up on a whim at the library, and I did not enjoy it at all. It’s a landmark lesbian coming of age book, but I found it to be a tedious and dull read. 

Dream Count. Wow. Wow. This novel was so beautiful, so heartbreaking, so moving. I thought about it constantly, even when I wasn’t reading it. At one point I was gasping for breath, it was such an incredible story with the most complex fleshed-out characters. It begins in the pandemic and ends in the pandemic, and in between are the stories of four African women whose lives are intertwined in different ways. When something terrible happens to one of them, we see how unfair the world is not only to the less-privileged, but also to those we “other.” I found the storytelling from four points of view to be absolutely engrossing and the character I liked the least in the beginning became the most interesting and sympathetic one to me. Many lines of note stood out to me, such as “I look at her and think that it isn’t about this particular rape. It is about any rape at all. Ahemen prefers men. In the face of any rape story, she will craft for men the most gorgeous of excuses, and for women her instinct will be distrust.” I absolutely have known women like this in my life. The description of early pandemic days, when we were all conjecturing as to what to do, how to avoid being ill, what news we all had, is so very real. If you, like me, enjoy character-driven books about complicated women, multiple points of view, and absolutely stunning writing, you will love this book.

This Is A Love Story. As a woman dies of cancer, she and her husband recall their life together. This book is very moving not because they lived an idyllic, romantic, perfect life, but because they didn’t. It is a very real story about a very real marriage with ups and downs: work stress, living a creative life, paying the bills, postpartum depression, an affair, and, above all, a very strained and distant lifelong relationship between the woman and her only son. The writing style is very unique and interesting; much of it is written in the second person, which is a rare choice, and the rest of it is told from a few different points of view. My favourite part about this was not the story about the couple, but the little snippets about all the people moving through the physical centre of this story, which is Central Park. I often look at the people moving around me and think about what their stories could be. We all have a story housed within us.

*******

Upon discovering my Great Tee Collection, I fielded a couple of questions from my family. From my younger son: do you WEAR all of them? The answer to that is yes, although some get worn more than others. From my husband: how long did it take you to amass that many? I would say about fifteen years; I hang all my shirts to dry and I try to buy nice quality items, so they last a long time. But the long and the short of it is that I am now on a self-imposed shopping hiatus! I hope I can keep to it, and that my bad habits haven’t stuck. I hope you all have a beautiful week. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Bye-Bye, July Edition

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First of all, thank you SO much for all your kind words with regards to my upcoming novel! I am so excited to share it and never fear, I will be updating everyone, all the time, with regards to all the details once I know them. It was truly fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I am just squeezing in under the wire, in terms of Favourite Things. IT’S THE END OF JULY, FRIENDS! I love summer and I have some fun things to talk about this month. Here we go!

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Bye-Bye, July Edition

We Can Do Hard Things, Although Sometimes They Are Not Hard At All

It all started when I casually mentioned that I wanted to get a headscarf for an upcoming trip. My friend Sandi (HI SANDI), who is always thinking of fun things to do, found a silk scarf painting workshop at a local winery. Of course I was in, but I had my doubts as to the final product, my skills in the artistic realm being, shall we say, limited. At the very least, I thought, it will be a fun afternoon with my friend, and so I practiced non-attachment while looking at the variety of colours and designs to choose from. I chose some blues and a heart pattern, all the while thinking that there was no way that my scarf would look anything at all like the example.

No one was more amazed and surprised than I was about the magic that is painting silk scarves. The teacher set us up with a long, shallow trough filled with agar, and showed us how to add the colours and make the patterns. It was so easy even I could do it, and that is saying something.

Once the pattern was ready, the teacher helped us lower a white scarf into the trough, and like magic, the colours transferred to it.

Isn’t that incredible? I’m so thrilled with the results and, frankly, impressed with myself.

It’s going to be perfect for my trip!

Sweaty, But Not Feral

I am not sure who, exactly, is here for perspiration content, but here we are. What better month to discuss it than July? I have talked at length at what a sweaty gal I am whilst working out; whatever sweatiness level you are thinking, quadruple it. After a workout I could literally wring out a puddle of sweat from my clothes; they make a wet thud when they hit the laundry basket, and if I was a person who weighed myself, I would not be surprised to see a significant loss of water weight each morning. Because I am sweaty from my scalp to my ankles, I see absolutely no reason to wear an antiperspirant for exercise, in fact, it seems wrong to me to stifle my underarms. Be free, little sweat glands! Do what nature intended! However, lest you conflate “sweat” with “stink,” let me rush to assure you that I do want to smell good whilst working out, and so I use Routine De-Odorcream.

I’ve talked about Routine before at length, I was into natural deodorant before natural deodorant was cool. I used to buy it in the playground from the founder, Neige, when our kids were in a grade one/two split class together, before she hit it big and had massive success with her products. I love supporting women entrepreneurs, especially when the product is a remarkable one. Routine is a natural deodorant, yes, and I am aware those words probably conjure up a feral hippie image, but it truly works. Listen, if I can smell good while being actually soaked with sweat, you know it’s a good product.

I use Routine every morning before exercise, and I love it, but it has a tendency to show up on clothing, which I don’t love. After my shower I use this new Dove product, which is also a deodorant, rather than an antiperspirant. It is magically invisible and the scent is lovely.

I mean, I’m not giving boardroom presentations or teaching yoga classes, so although I’m a sweaty mess earlier in the day, post-shower I am not. By now I’m sure I’ve given more than enough information about the state of my underarms, so let’s move on.

Living La Dolce Vita, Via Sparkling Drinks

When we were in Italy last fall, my husband and I decided that, after years of work and child rearing and being ships passing in the night, we would set aside a time each week for Cocktail Hour, which is a screen-free, book-free, television-free time for us to reconnect. And to drink cocktails.

Also in Italy, I fell madly in love not only with my husband (again), but also with Aperol spritzes. I could not believe that I went through my entire life without this delicious, refreshing drink in it. I am making up for lost time now, as we regularly have them for Cocktail Hour, on a warm summer day.

And lest you think that it’s all why don’t we get drunk and screw around here, I am also enjoying San Pellegrino sparkling water as a little treat now and then.

Recently Bijoux (HI BIJOUX) mentioned that when her kids were young she would have a mid-day treat of General Foods International Coffee while watching General Hospital, and I cannot stop thinking about it. Such a lovely ritual! We all need a mid-day treat, don’t you think? I decided I wanted to do something similar, and so a few times a week, in the middle of the afternoon, I take a break to read a book, with a flavoured sparkling water in a pretty glass. One might argue that my entire day is a treat, and it kind of is, but it feels really special to have a very intentional pleasure, a book and a pretty drink, mid-day.

Bye Bye Miss Strawberry Pie

Do you want a no-bake dessert recipe that will refresh and delight you? Of course you do! This is my latest iteration of our family favourite, frozen strawberry daiquiri pie. Make a graham cracker crust with about 1 1/4 cups of graham cracker crumbs and 1/4 to 1/3 cup of melted coconut oil (or butter!). Stick that in the freezer, and while it’s setting put 3 cups of thawed frozen strawberries, the cream from a can of coconut milk (chill it for a few hours to separate the cream from the watery liquid), a couple squeezes of lime juice, and maybe 1/3 cup of honey into a food processor and blend until smooth. Add a little more honey if you like it sweeter, and then pour that into the crust, freeze, and voila! Dessert!

I often serve this with homemade Magic Shell, which is created by heating together 1/2 cup chopped chocolate and 1/3 cup coconut oil. I usually squeeze a bit of honey and glug in some vanilla as well. It hardens – magically, like a shell – once it hits the frozen strawberry pie. A perfect dessert and you don’t need to turn on the oven!

Nicole-Coded Merch

I really try to reel in excessive consumption by not buying things I don’t need, but then sometimes I see something and I realize that yes, I do need that thing in my life.

Did I need a coin purse that says Fuck The Patriarchy? Technically no, who needs a coin purse these days? But it’s the perfect size to hold a few lipsticks. Is it weird I have lipsticks in Fuck The Patriarchy merchandise? I LIKE LIPSTICKS AND I CONTAIN MULTITUDES. Anyone having an issue with that can read this shirt:

I saw this on Redbubble and I could not resist. It goes nicely with one of my favourite mugs, and it’s how I feel often these days, particularly when reading the news.

Outfit of the Month

This is my summer uniform: a Lululemon skort and a tank top, generally black. I am of the mindset that when you find something that works, stick with it. I have a number of black tank tops and a number of skorts in a variety of colours and patterns. I very much dislike how I look in shorts and I very much like how I look in skirts, but I don’t want to expose my panties or nether regions to the world, so a skort is where it’s at for me.

I have been enjoying my Alone Time this week – “When the cat’s away, the mouse will play,” I thought as I ate my fourth dinner of Greek salad in a row and turned on another British period drama – but I am over-the-top excited to welcome a houseguest TOMORROW. Some of you may know her, and all who know her love her…it’s Birchie! Updates to come but suffice it to say her visit is definitely going to be one of my Favourite Things. Did you have a beautiful July? Tell me everything. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Nourishing Edition

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How has June been treating you, friends? I hope you have all been enjoying my Nourishment series; I have certainly enjoyed putting it together. There will be a final post on Monday to wrap it up, and in the meantime, I want to tell you about my Favourite Things this month. They are all things that are nourishing for my physical and mental states, if we use the term fairly loosely. You know me, I like a theme.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Nourishing Edition

Strawberry Fields Forever

This is the second year for our strawberry plants, and they have been prolific! Almost every day I have a harvest of these sweet sweet berries. We have to net the plants to keep the birds from feasting, and when I’m crouched down underneath the netting, picking them, I’m reminded of Mrs Elton at the berrying party in Emma.

And check out this very funky specimen:

It was delicious, although I do feel like I snacked on Patrick from Spongebob.

The raspberries have also been showing up and showing out; we have several different varieties, so hopefully we will have berries from June to September.

Did you hear that? It’s ominous music playing.

AND SO IT BEGINS. Zucchini season is now, alarmingly, in full swing. I have already harvested eight zucchini, including an absolute monster that quadrupled in size from last Wednesday, before our road trip, to the following Monday. My husband and son are giving me the side-eye, after last year’s zucapocalypse.

Postcard from the incomparable Michelle (HI MICHELLE) for scale.

Like A Good Neighbour, Amanda Is There

The emotional and psychological issues I have around my hair could keep a therapist busy for decades, and probably buy the aforementioned therapist a vacation home on Maui, but such issues are not available for public consumption. I will merely say that fifteen years ago or so, my hair stylist put down her comb and scissors in exasperation, and said to me Nicole, will you STOP saying that. There is nothing WRONG with your hair. It’s just REGULAR hair. Stop telling me how weird and terrible it is. IT IS JUST NORMAL HAIR.

So. I have issues around my hair. I dislike having my hair cut not because I’m Samson or Rapunzel or anything, but because I fear negative commentary about it, although with few exceptions that is not something that happens. It takes me a while to build trust with a new stylist, so you can imagine the tizzy I was in when I moved here. And listen: my hair is not complicated to cut. It does not require precise styling. I know this and yet, I still feel stressed and worried whenever I go to get my hair cut.

My neighbour Amanda cuts hair out of her home, and it took me nearly a year of living a three-minute walk from her house before I got the courage to ask her to cut mine. She’s a busy mom with a full-time job, but she told me cheerfully that she cuts hair for friends and family! and I took MONTHS to contact her. Are we friends? Is this overstepping? If I ask her will she think I’m weird and presumptuous? Finally, after my husband told me to just call her already, and if she didn’t want to do it she could say no, I contacted her.

Friends, she is the sweetest woman around and she immediately set me at ease as I talked a mile a minute about my hair worries. She has been cutting my hair for almost a year now, the latest time being just a couple of weeks ago, when I had delayed getting it cut for a few months. The ends were, to say the least, not great, Bob.

Amanda told me gravely we would have to take off some length. She asked if I was okay, and then she asked again. She explained very carefully what would happen, what her plans were for future cuts, and then she proceeded to give me the best haircut of my entire life.

I might be getting over my hair issues! I love you, Amanda! (HI AMANDA, if you’re reading this)

Power Pants

I am about to relate an anecdote, but before I do, I want to note that the following occurred years ago, in 2011 or 2012, when it was considered not only appropriate but complimentary to comment on other people’s bodies, particularly when the other person’s body appeared smaller. I know, I know, we would never ever think this was okay to say these days, but I am setting the scene for you.

Picture it: it’s 2011 or 2012. I’m standing with the Circle Moms, so named because we all stood in a circle and chatted in the schoolyard when our kids sledded or built snow forts or played on the playground after school. As we were talking, a woman came up to a friend of mine in the circle, and asked her in a congratulatory, complimentary tone if she had lost weight. Nope! my friend said happily. I just bought bigger pants.

Several months ago, when I did a big purge of my ill-fitting wardrobe – mostly pants, but also a not insignificant number of little black dresses – Michelle (HI MICHELLE) congratulated me. It’s so empowering to have clothes that fit! she said, and she was right. It IS empowering! It IS a big deal to go into my closet and know I can wear all the things in it.

Here we are, in a new season – not just of life, but an actual season – and it’s really time to bust out all the crops and capris. I needed new pants. I needed bigger pants. And so I went to Mark’s, because it seems like this is where I get all my pants lately, and I bought three pair of very lightweight capris, and two denim ones. Friends, they are comfortable, I feel cute, and I AM EMPOWERED! Behold a few of my powerful pants!

It’s so simple. Putting on pants without shimmying or struggling, and just…doing them up? It’s the best. Our bodies change throughout our lives, shouldn’t our pants? Why try to squeeze into pants that are uncomfortable and most likely unflattering in their discomfort? JUST BUY BIGGER PANTS. Fitting my body should be the very least we ask for from pants, right after making me not be naked, and yet. And yet it’s revolutionary.

Stop Bugging Me

We had quite a bit of rain, which was desperately needed – I do not want to go through another August like the one in 2023! – and the rain was followed by sunshine and lovely warm temperatures. Glorious! And also? Perfect mosquito weather.

Something you may or may not know about me is that I am a person you want to invite to your parties, not just because I would talk to a chair if it looked marginally friendly, but also because I am a Mosquito Magnet. I am ABSOLUTELY IRRESISTABLE to the female mosquito population. They cannot get enough of my sexy, juicy flesh. And another neat thing to know about me is that I have the kind of allergic reaction to mosquito bites that makes people say Oh GOD, what HAPPENED to you? What on another person might be a slight annoyance is, to me, torture. Mosquito bites swell to enormous, hard, red lumps, and then turn into bruises, and that is not a look I like to embrace. Some topical ointments soothe somewhat, others give me a secondary reaction, it’s a wheel of fortune.

I want to be the type of person who just smooths on a little Skin So Soft, or spritzes on a homemade essential oil mixture, and then calls it a day, but I am not. I am just so sexy and irresistible to those rental houses for souls of the cruel, that I need The Big Guns.

Do I want to be spraying chemicals all over my body? No, I do not. But faced with the choice between that and having gigantic swollen itchy lumps all over my body, between that and praying for the sweet release of the bruising that follows, even though I look like I’ve fallen off a cruise ship, pinballing down, hitting a lot of railings on the way, well, I’ll take the Fresh Scent Deet every time. I leave it on the outside steps to spray on just before my walk, then I strut through the greenway like John Travolta with a paint can, while everyone around me is losing their minds and slapping the air and their own bodies.

Come Back With A Warrant(y)

The most-used small appliance in my kitchen is the Vitamix; it gets used by various people three to four times a day at minimum. So it really was no surprise when, several months ago, it finally gave up. It’s too much! the Vitamix would have said, were it sentient. Stop with the continuous smoothies already! The container blades seized up, started to smoke, and died.

This was an absolute crisis. The motor still worked perfectly, so we ordered a new container for it, making the huge and predictable mistake of purchasing a quick-to-arrive, much-less-expensive knock-off that was compatible with our motor. In what can only be described as You Get What You Pay For, the container worked perfectly for two weeks, and then developed a tiny leak. It still worked, but it would leave a teaspoon or so of smoothie on the motor. Over the course of a few months, that teaspoon increased to a few tablespoons, and every time I wiped up the resulting mess I could only think that this was not great, Bob.

The problem was that our model is no longer available, and so my husband called Vitamix to ask what he could purchase as a replacement, which is when we discovered that we have a seven-year warranty on all parts, expiring in August. Vitamix sent us a brand-new container, free of charge, and we are all happily consuming smoothies without having to clean up a little puddle afterwards.

Outfit of the Month

As I mentioned above, I was running low on little black dresses after The Great Closet Purge of 2024. The purge happened in November which, as my husband pointed out, was perfect timing for Black Friday. How or why Black Friday became a thing in Canada, I do not know, but I was grateful that Ricki’s – a proudly Canadian company – had such a sale. I picked up three dresses for $120, and I love them all.

I wore one a few weeks ago for a friend’s 60th birthday party, paired them with Skecher sandals, and posed with the best black-and-white accessory I have.

I hope you are all enjoying our first official week of summer! I’d love to hear about all your Favourites this month. Tell me everything. xo