Monthly Archives: April 2019

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “It’s My Birthday Month!” Edition

Posted on by

How was your weekend? Mine was filled with birthday festivities, not all of them mine. In fact, the only birthday festivity that was mine was a birthday lunch with my dearest friend, who I don’t see often enough but we always catch up on our birthdays, and pick up exactly where we left off. Don’t you love friends like that?

Friday night my older son went to one of his best friend’s sleepover birthday – this friend shares his actual birthday, which was a month earlier. Then, Saturday, we were hosting my son’s birthday party at a trampoline/ obstacle course park. I had wanted to have his party closer to his actual birthday, but one of his friends, who is very athletic and competes frequently, could only make it this Saturday. Unfortunately, that friend ended up being stranded out of town and couldn’t make it, because we had the craziest blizzard you can imagine. In fact, we had to cancel the party at the obstacle course because the roads were so incredibly dangerous and visibility was zero. We ended up having ten teen boys at our house, since they all live in the neighbourhood and I didn’t have to worry about their parents dying in fiery crashes on the highway. Or, as my mom always says, dead in a ditch. As it was, one of the moms told me it took her thirty minutes to drive from her house, pick up another friend, and come to my house, a trip that normally would take no more than eight minutes at worst.

The view from my front window, while waiting for guests to arrive.

As you know I am a woman with a plan, and spontaneity is NOT my strong point. I was not in the least prepared to have an impromptu gathering at my house but it all turned out rather well. There is a pizza place a block away, which was handy, and I had already had an ice-cream cake custom made by a woman who specializes in nut-free items, since one of the friends is severely allergic. It turned out great, and even though very few of my son’s friends actually watch Seinfeld, they were all familiar with the quote, which my son repeats several times a day:

The noise level did escalate a lot, but in a good way, since we now have a full drum set and an electric guitar. One of the guests is extremely musical and treated us all to a very good rendition of Crazy Train – which really spoke to me, given the situation – and Stairway to Heaven.

When the kids were eating cake, I listened in on their conversation, which revolved around the earth being flat, of all things. “Obviously the earth is flat because maps are flat,” one kid said, as everyone responded with much hilarity. “What’s a globe anyway?”

Normally I would be partaking in wine with so much noise and activity, but I had scheduled blood work for the following morning, and so I embraced the noise with complete sobriety.

I’ve always loved the month of April, and not TOTALLY because it’s my birthday month. Related: don’t you think we should all celebrate our birthdays the whole month long? One day just doesn’t seem sufficient. I love April because – massive blizzard notwithstanding – spring is in the air! Even the coldest, snowiest Aprils have my daylilies and yarrow popping up, and leaves budding on the shrubs and trees, and just the feeling that winter, real winter, is over. Yes, there is a foot of fresh snow, drifted everywhere with ice underneath it leading to perilous road conditions and flattened tulips, but it will melt!

Therefore, it is time for…

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The “It’s My Birthday Month” Edition

The Watch

Well, I think I have probably written about this enough , but I really am enjoying my Garmin watch. One of the things I like best about it is that it’s pretty. I know! It’s not all about esthetics, and beauty is found within, etcetera, but I like pretty things. It doesn’t look like an unattractive fitness tracker – to me, anyway – and I will maintain that it is very satisfying to see steps taken/ stair flights climbed when bringing home and putting away groceries. No wonder I feel exhausted after a Costco trip – there are many, many steps and flights involved!

Don’t you love those bracelets? They were all gifts from former yoga teacher apprentices of mine. Pretty things. 

Pandora Charms

Speaking of bracelets, I have a number of Pandora charm bracelets and for my birthday, my parents often give me a new charm. The little pink flower is what they gave me this year, and I love it!

Things That Are Pink

Speaking of pink things, there are not many in the Boyhouse, so I enjoy the ones that I do have. As I mentioned before, my mom makes me a pink cake for every birthday, I have a lot of pink flowers in my garden (none of which are clearly blooming, thankfully; see above photo of the yard for details), and every once in a while I bust out these pink pants:

I have to be in the right mood for them; whenever I wear colour that is not black or grey, I feel a bit showy, like a male peacock doing a mating ritual. Look at me, I’m a peacock. I think extreme weather in the spring is the perfect time to put on the pink pants. I’ve got my pink pants…I’ve got my pink pants on…

My Back Yard

This is not a euphemism, although it could be; we should all be happy with ourselves the way we are, including our “back yards.” But I am specifically referring to my literal back yard, which is currently – as shown – snow covered. On my birthday, though, it was not.

Once this snow melts, things will be lovely and green, and hopefully not too smushed from the weight of the ice and snow. Speaking of which, it feels appropriate that Game of Thrones is on tonight, although I won’t be able to watch it in real time, as that will take me way past my bedtime.

Enjoy what’s left of April, my friends. xo

I welcome my new overlord

Posted on by

For my birthday, the guys gave me a Garmin watch; it has been four days and already it has taken over my life. I’m full-on David Sedaris. I welcome my new watch overlord.

I used to figuratively roll my eyes when I would hear various friends complain that their fitness tracker didn’t properly count steps or heart rates, or that they forgot to enter their workout into their app. I would think, Does it matter? You still DID the exercise, does it MATTER if it’s not recorded on your device? Well. Just like everything I’ve ever silently judged in my life, it has come back to haunt me. I am now completely obsessed and also have turned into one of Today’s Children who get all sorts of accolades and praise for participation. Yesterday I went for a run and, while I consider myself to be a very self-motivated person, I couldn’t help but be thrilled every time my watch buzzed when I unlocked a new achievement. Step counts? More than 5km run? Elevation gains? Heart rate intensity minutes? Every time I got a new Badge, I felt like I did when I was a Brownie and my mom sewed a physical badge to my sash. Check THIS out. 

The Watch is pretty bossy, though. I said this to my husband and he replied that it was just like its owner, which, well. I’m sure there is some way to change this setting, but it seems like being stationary for fifteen minutes at a time triggers it into a bossy frenzy; it doesn’t even gently or politely suggest movement, it buzzes and in all capitals and punctuated with an exclamation mark says MOVE! on the screen. I was at the hair salon yesterday when this happened; my colour was processing and I had, obviously, been seated for this procedure.

Me, silently: Don’t boss me!

Also me: *gets up and pretends to use the washroom just to clear the move bar*

It doesn’t seem to take any other activity into account before virtually shouting at me to MOVE!, as proven last night. Yesterday I had a) practiced yoga, gone for a run and a dog walk, AND grocery shopped at Superstore, with all its accompanying steps and stairs to put the groceries away, b) doubled my step goal AND my stair-flight-climbing goal, and c) got in half of the week’s worth of “intensity minutes.” And yet, I curled up in my chair after dinner to read, and the Watch began buzzing at me.

Me: You’re not the boss of me!

Also me: *waits five minutes before getting up to use the bathroom*

The book I’m reading is The Rosie Effect. I read and enjoyed The Rosie Project years ago, and I am enjoying this book just as much, if not more. However, it was a little unsettling to realize that Don Tillman’s Standardised Meal System is not dissimilar to my own Weekly Meal Plan, as far as efficiency, ingredient inventory, shopping, and zero food wastage goes. It’s always a little startling to see aspects of one’s own personality in a fictional character, particularly when that fictional character is Don Tillman.

Speaking of the Weekly Meal Plan, while I was making Thai curry on Tuessday, I realized something: the Watch has changed my household behaviour. I have become extremely inefficient when it comes to moving between floors of the house. The kitchen is on the main floor, but the pantry is downstairs, and normally I am extremely efficient at Bringing Stuff Upstairs – except, of course, when I forget what I went down to the pantry for. In Life Before The Watch, I would bring up broccoli from the basement fridge, snip some cilantro, and bring up the peanuts all in one trip. Tuesday, however, I took three trips to do this, plus a fourth to bring up the laundry, as the dryer finished while I was prepping dinner. My morning ritual, in Life Before The Watch, involves putting in a load of laundry at the same time I do my hair, my hair products and appliances being housed in the bathroom adjacent to the laundry room. In Life Before The Watch I would carry a laundry basket – with bathroom cleaner and gloves perched on top – on one hip and a coffee cup and hair accessories in the other hand, in order to minimize the number of times I would go up and down the stairs. Now, Post-Watch, I’m going downstairs to put the laundry in, going back upstairs for hair accessories, and after that, going up and down the stairs to get the cleaning products with which to tidy the bathroom.

Frankly, it’s probably safer this way, if slightly more insane. It was only a matter of time before I Emily Starr-ed and tumbled down the stairs while carrying all those items.

Slight digression for those of you who spent years of your childhood obsessed by the Emily books: did you ever feel sorry for Dean Priest? I sure did, even though he was possessive and a little bit creepy. I always thought Teddy was too smarmy. But then, I guess this is what happened back then when one lived in a small community: if you were a woman, and there was a man in your general age bracket, then it was likely that you would get married. It would only be a matter of time. Ah, romance.

But back to the Watch: memories of life before it are becoming faded and distant. It’s like trying to remember what you did before you had a smart phone. How did we interact with people? Did I call them? Email them? I have no idea. And now I have no idea what I did without counting my steps like a crazy person. This way lies madness.

To quote from David Sedaris: Why is it some people can manage a thing like a Fitbit, while others go off the rails and allow it to rule, and perhaps even ruin, their lives? Well, we all knew in which category I would fall. It’s not like I didn’t know this would happen. Give me any kind of goal – number of books to read in a year, number of kilometers to run in an hour, number of steps in a day – and I immediately want to crush it. Add in there a spreadsheet or an app and suddenly I become a monster. The saddest thing is that the only person I am competing with is myself. I thought briefly about joining one of those friendly competition groups, and instantly quashed that idea. I don’t need to be marching in place while reading at night just to get a first-place badge. Or do I?

Random Long Weekend Thoughts

Posted on by

The Targeted Ads Algorithm Is Broken

Several times a week I am the bemused recipient of advertisements for various stylish online shops, and currently, they are exclusively showing me jumpsuits. Jumpsuits! God bless you all for wearing and enjoying them, but the day I wriggle this mortal body into a piece of clothing that, by its very design, will end up puddled up on the bathroom floor every single time I use the facilities, is the day I find myself, as one of my senior yoga students said yesterday, on the wrong side of the grass.

At least the first few advertisements were black; I’m trying to envision myself wearing an exotic-floral print of anything and failing. I also seem to get a lot of advertisements for floral, one-piece bathing suits, which are right up there with tailored shorts on the list of things I am not going to wear, ever. I mean, I have worn them, in my checkered past, but never again. As we live, we grow.

A while back the Co-Op stopped giving out gas coupons and instead began sending something called Me-Wards, which I assumed would be tailored to my consumption habits, given the Me-Wards are linked to my account. Sadly, it appears there is no linkage whatsoever, or if there is, it’s so cryptic that no one could ever decipher the algorithm within. This week, my Me-Wards include frozen pizza, Coke products, some kind of cookie, and fresh Atlantic cod fillets so that I can, as it suggests, make my own chowder. Co-Op, it’s like you never knew me at all.

Getting the Girls Checked

It’s that time of the year again to get the girls checked out. I always smile in the change room when I see the directions on “how to tie a medical robe” because yes, I have gone into my mammogram with the robe on the wrong way. So if you ever wonder who would need these directions it is I who needs them. I asked the technician today, as she neatly arranged my sad excuse for a breast on the machine, if this was a strange kind of job to have. It’s actually really fascinating! she said enthusiastically. And everyone’s breasts are so different, so it’s never boring! I appreciated her zest, it’s refreshing to see someone so excited about their work. She handed me a remote control so I would have autonomy over the squishiness of the procedure, which is a new thing, I guess. Just go ahead and press the “plus” button until you feel you can’t stand it anymore, she said, and when I did this she became alarmed. Okay, stop, that’s enough, STOP! I think she thought I was going to flatten myself completely like a cartoon character run over by a steamroller.

Circling back to the robe, the first thing the technician did after confirming my birth date and being reassured that no, there is NO chance I’m pregnant, was ask me to remove it. Why then does it matter if it’s on the wrong way or not if it’s only going to be immediately removed? Perhaps it’s a medical robe faux pas? Perhaps it’s a conspiracy among diagnostics centres to make us all into uniform patients? Most likely, though, is that tying it in the back is actually quite difficult and feels ridiculous and really, who would do such a thing? Who indeed.

It’s Mini-Egg Season

I’m quite proud of how these little cuties turned out:

I took a recipe from my old copy of The Lutheran Ladies’ Family Favourites for “haystack cookies,” modified it by using coconut oil and cutting the sugar by a third, and then molded them into little nests. I’m nesting!

I feel extraordinarily crafty now; the next step is to figure out how to draw a bunny as I’m dividing up Lindt truffles into little paper bags for our Easter egg hunt this weekend. I usually give the boys – yes, they are teens but they still like chocolate eggs – a cryptic lists of hints, for a treasure hunt. This year I was feeling quite ambitious as I wrote a few poems for the hints; I wrote the kind of poems they learned about in school: limerick, tanka, haiku, acrostic, and couplet.

You may be saying to yourself, who doesn’t know how to draw a bunny? Well, the same person who has been known to tie her medical robe incorrectly, that’s who.

It’s Birthday Season

As puzzling as the Me-Wards are for Co-Op, I was gratified to see this on offer in my inbox:

I also refer to April as my birthday month; a mere DAY is not really enough to celebrate, is it? Last weekend we visited my parents and my mom made me my favourite strawberry-angel food cake, complete with pink non-dairy whipped cream. I have always had a pink cake on my birthday.

Pink cake goes beautifully with red wine; two of my favourite things. This year, for the first time ever, my birthday falls on Easter, and so I guess that means extra mini-eggs coming my way!

Speaking of red wine, my husband/ Santa gave me a beautiful bottle of Amarone in my stocking this year; I think this is the weekend to open it!

Happy long weekend to you all, and Happy Easter to all who celebrate. May your blessings and chocolates be many! xo

We’re getting the band back together

Posted on by

It’s official: I am in Full Spring Cleaning Mode. This includes the yard, the basement, and every closet in the house. Nothing is safe! Everything must go! Or at least everything must be in use or spark joy. About three years ago I did a full Kondo of my house – some of you may remember that – and that, along with my One Year Shopping Challenge, really changed the way I brought things into the house. I am much more mindful about purchases and I ensure that if I am buying something, it is very much needed and/ or wanted.

Still, things add up. Children outgrow their beds rendering many sets of twin sheets unnecessary, books and toys also get outgrown, clothes don’t fit or become too worn to be desirable anymore. I have a pair of platform slides that date back to the Nineties that I was keeping in my closet “just in case” but really, I think the Platform Slide Ship has sailed.

Part of my cleaning frenzy has been spurred by the soon-to-be acquisition of an item that requires a certain amount of space: a drum set. As a long-time pianist, I have been anxiously awaiting the day that my children would show interest in learning a musical instrument. In your face, Nicole, as one would say. So we now have a new drummer, along with a new electric guitar player. Could you please turn down the amp, can you hear me, please turn down the amp. In all seriousness I am actually thrilled at their interest; along with my younger son taking up drums and my older son taking up electric guitar, my husband has taken up the bass, and things have become much more musical around here. Loudly musical.

My son’s drum teacher informed him, much to my relief about hearing concerns, that earplugs must be worn at all times when drumming, so I assume that means I should probably have a set as well, since there is no door to the basement and our house reverberates with any noise from the basement. I have not yet met the drum teacher, but my husband says that he is exactly what you might expect a drum teacher to be like. I imagine him as a more modern Garth Algar.

That reminds me: our resort in Puerto Vallarta was Now Amber, and on the card key it said “Live in the Now” which made me think of the scene in Wayne’s World where Wayne is obsessed with an expensive guitar, and Garth says, Stop torturing yourself, man, you’ll never afford it! Live in the now! Every time I looked at the card key, I would hear that voice, even though I have not seen that movie since probably 1993.

LIVE IN THE NOW.

Great advice from a fictional character. Gardening and yard work is awesome for living in the now; it’s hard to multitask when you’re covered in dirt and physically active. Last week I was cleaning one of my most labour-intensive perennial beds when I discovered this little guy:

He was hidden under the silvermound plant. How did he get there? Where did he come from? No one knows. No one has seen him before or has any idea how he came into our yard. It’s a mystery and likely one to remain unsolved.

Full Spring Cleaning Mode notwithstanding, I’m going to keep this little guy. He’s cute!

On the weekend my husband and I cleaned out the gutters; a very gross but extremely satisfying job. It’s disgustingly fascinating, the way I imagine a colonic might be. OMG look at what’s coming out of there! I shrieked to my husband as I kept guard of the exit end of the gutter, as he maneuvered the hose, trying to locate the clog.

Speaking of the unspeakable, last week I had my annual physical. Don’t forget I need the large speculum! I cheerfully reminded the doctor, just in case it wasn’t on his chart. Also my cervix is tilted and really hard to find. Ah, the feminine mystique.

My physical was initially booked for a day in March, but several days prior a conflict came up. I called the office immediately and left a message; it was after hours but I wanted to get the phone call out of the way. The ball is in your court now, doctor’s strange assistant. Remember the assistant/ nurse who mistakenly booked my appointment at the wrong time, and then gave me the gears for not being at the appointment? I wanted to avoid another such confrontation. So I left a message and she later called me back and re-booked the appointment. No problem. I repeated the new date and time several times during our phone call; So that’s 2:00 on the 4th, okay. Perfect. Let me just write this down. 2:00. On April 4. 2:00. Great. April 4. All fine, full speed ahead. Then, a day later, I got one of those text reminders for the OLD appointment, the one in March, the type of reminder that allows you to type C for Confirm or 9 to cancel. I hit 9 on my phone and got the message to call the office to re-book. Well, I had already re-booked, so I just went about my day. This was, let me stress, still in March, and still before my old appointment.

By now you may imagine ominous foreshadowing music playing.

The day of my appointment (April 4!) I was in the middle of doing my hair when my phone rang; it was the doctor’s assistant, saying that she saw that I needed to re-book my appointment and TYPICALLY they ask for more than 24 hours notice and that there might be a fee involved…I interrupted her by saying I did NOT need to re-book and that I would see her today, April 4, at 2:00. Well, she said sharply, You typed 9 on your phone to cancel the appointment. I explained that I a) typed 9 over a month ago, and b) I did not even get a confirmation text for this booking. You did, you typed 9, I can see that this was sent, when was this sent…then she paused. Well, it doesn’t matter. See you this afternoon.

IN YOUR FACE! I did not say, but thought. See you this afternoon AT TWO O’CLOCK! I said instead, in what I hoped was a friendly and polite voice. I wondered if things would be awkward when I saw her that afternoon (the 4th! At 2:00!) but there was, happily, another nurse there who dealt with me, a very perky and cheerful young woman. After weighing, measuring, and doing my blood pressure, she asked if I still get my period. Lady, I’m 43. Things may be crazy in that department but I’m not in full-on menopause yet. Isn’t it interesting how we suddenly go from getting the question When was your last menstrual period and Is it possible you might be pregnant to Do you even GET your menstrual period anymore, you old crone? 

Well, the best part of this story is that I appear to be in good health, albeit three pounds heavier than at my last check-up. I BLAME MEXICO AND ALL THE DELICIOUSNESS THEREIN. My doctor was highly unconcerned and dismissive about the three pounds, thankfully, saying, Three pounds is just a bowel movement away from where you were last year. Well, possibly, but it’s more likely that six margaritas a day added up in the calorie department. Oh well, that’s what holidays are for, am I right? On that note, it’s time for my green smoothie. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Puerto Vallarta Edition

Posted on by

I just got back from my THIRD grocery trip since returning home on Friday; Friday being five days ago. Back to reality and my part-time job of teaching yoga, along with my full-time job of feeding my family. You people are pigs! I may have said to myself as I pulled out ingredients for pumpkin loaf; the banana loaf and batch of blueberry muffins that I have baked in the days since returning are both mere memories. Yesterday I read a book I picked up on impulse at the library; it is actually a self-help book about pursuing your goals and dreams. Perhaps I should have read the back cover more thoroughly. Anyway, in it is a suggestion that a person should track every minute spent doing an activity every day for a week to get an idea of how to allocate time more wisely. I should do this; I would be interested to see just how much of my week is spent in food acquisition and preparation. Not to mention putting away the groceries! Maybe I do need a fitness tracker just to see how many steps are spent in that activity.

Well, life is good no matter how you slice it, and perhaps it’s because of my full-time-feed-family job that I really appreciated our vacation last week in Puerto Vallarta. When the kids got hungry they just popped over to the poolside grill for hotdogs and hamburgers. The biggest decision we made was which restaurant to eat at in the evenings and if we wanted Cabernet or Merlot for dinner. I mean, honestly. It doesn’t get any better than that.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Puerto Vallarta Edition

The Scenery

Puerto Vallarta is a beautiful place. On a guided beach walk it was brought to my attention that Puerto Vallarta, as we know it today, did not really exist until John Huston – who lived there part-time – decided to film The Night of the Iguana, starring Richard Burton. At the time he was having a steamy affair with Elizabeth Taylor; the gorgeous locale was exposed and became a lively tourist destination. It is GORGEOUS.

That’s my older son jumping off the rock in the last photo (the other two are unknowns). This was after a very dusty Razr ride, which I will circle back to. Isn’t it beautiful? Ocean, mountains, and jungle.

Sunsets

I am generally a sunrise girl; I am always up before the sun and I do love a good sunrise. But part of the benefit of being on the Pacific Ocean was the ability to really appreciate those gorgeous ocean sunsets. I mean, look at this:

Pool Service

Because I am a spoiled princess, I absolutely love pool service. Coming home was rough; by 2:00 on Saturday I thought what the hell, why has no one brought me a margarita yet? Ah, day drinking. One must stay hydrated in that hot Mexican sun, you know! My favourite drink was a mango margarita, on the rocks, no sugar, with a spicy rim. What? I’m Sally Allbright on vacation too. I have no photo of my drink so you must be contented with this shot of the pool:

One-Strapped Bikinis

I don’t know if they are called that or not; they are likely out of style now since I bought this on massive sale at La Vie En Rose last fall. I wasn’t sure what it would be like but I can tell you it is more comfortable and supportive than any other bikini top I have owned. I also love this because it’s black, naturally, but with a little zip of embroidered colour. If you buy one, be excessive with the sunscreen and shade or you’ll end up with a weird tan line. I am always excessive with sunscreen and shade, which is why no one can tell I was actually in Mexico.

This Lululemon Bag

Every vacation I buy a beach bag and by the end of every vacation, it’s completely trashed. I guess it’s my issue, since I like to carry lots of things in it, but isn’t that what a beach bag is for? I was tired of the waste, always having to throw out a bag that became damaged beyond repair just from taking it to the beach. Last fall I bought – on huge sale – this bag from Lululemon, and even though on sale it was still three times as expensive as a beach bag, it’s durable, waterproof, wipeable, and has a little pouch to keep room key, phone, tip money, and lip balm in.

Dressing for Dinner

I feel so glamourous after spending the day by the pool or beach, covered in sunscreen, salt, and sand, to get all prettied up for dinner. I love wearing dresses and fancy sandals and red lipstick to go out for dinner. It’s a far cry from my real life, where I am wearing yoga pants and end-of-day makeup to eat my homemade stir-fry.

Zip Lining!

I have always wanted to zip line, and this trip, we did! My husband booked us into a combination Razr 4×4 tour and zip line adventure, and it was just the best day. Well, not the Razr part. My husband grew up riding dirt bikes and utility vehicles and ATV’s and so is very comfortable taking hairpin turns on dusty mountain roads. I, however, kept picturing us all plummeting off the mountain to our deaths. Well, at least we’ll all go down together, I thought at one point. But we made it, safe and sound, and let me tell you about dust!

Can you feel my terror?

But zip lining! What a blast.

I think this was the best vacation of our lives; I am already thinking about when we can return! There was live music in the evenings, with much dancing and laughing. We went with our friends which always works out so well – all eight of us get along really well. And now it’s time for me to fold the laundry and do some yard clean-up – exciting news, by the time we had returned home, all our snow has melted. Like I said to one of my senior students yesterday, who just moved here from much warmer climates to be close to her grandchildren, spring can come and go in Calgary. So I shall enjoy it while it lasts, hanging on to those beautiful Mexican memories. xo