Category Archives: I am really 90

It’s Bananas

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Some people righteously boycott certain shopping experiences or coffee shops, but my line in the sand is the phenomenon known as the celebrity podcast. I quite smugly and obnoxiously refuse, on the grounds that celebrity podcasts have pushed out smaller, independent podcasts. I will not have it. I will not have it! You can keep your big, showy podcasts with excessive amounts of advertising, and I will be over here listening to two Australian women sharing their hatred for sunflowers, or two Irish women deep diving into Sweet Valley High.

But of course, there is always an exception, and for me that exception is Wiser Than Me, wherein Julia Louis-Dreyfus interviews older women who are celebrities. And now I will tell you that there is an exception to the exception; I very much enjoy these interviews and Julia’s style with one important caveat, which I will get to shortly.

Recently she interviewed Cyndi Lauper, of whom I have been a fan since I was eight years old, when She’s So Unusual was released, and this episode did not disappoint. I adored listening to her heavy Brooklyn accent – whaddya wanna know? – relate her take on life and zest for standing up for what she believes in. But most of all, I loved that she called out Julia for the question that I absolutely loathe, and grit my teeth about during every one of her interviews.

At the beginning of every interview, Julia asks if the woman is comfortable divulging her real age, and after that, she asks how old do you feel? My love for Cyndi Lauper was like the Grinch’s heart, exploding out of the little box it had been in before, as she called out the question as the bullshit garbage it is. When Julia expressed surprise that Cyndi, who is 72, said she feels 72, she replied:

Well, here’s what I think. I think it’s a bunch of bullshit that they give you these numbers and they tell you what you’re supposed to do at what age and what age you’re supposed to feel like this and what age you’re supposed to feel like that and I think it’s a load of crap.

I love her. How old do we FEEL? I don’t know about you, but I feel 51, because THIS IS WHAT FIFTY-ONE FEELS LIKE. Can we please normalise the idea that it’s okay to be the age we are and, relatedly, that how we feel does not need to correlate to a number? If I said I felt 92, the immediate thought would be that I frailly had one foot in the grave, not that I felt wise and gentle with the years. If I said I felt 22, it would be assumed that I was vibrant and sexy, and not riddled with self-doubt and insecurity. I very much dislike that “old” is used pejoratively, and “young” is the opposite. Listen, I get it, I get that there are things that are objectively difficult about aging, but also, it’s not like being young is always a bag of laughs, see also last week’s rant about Monica Lewinsky’s youthful indiscretion and the resulting turmoil for that poor young woman. I would never, ever trade my menopausal tum-tum for my previously stellar flat stomach if it meant I had to go back in time. I LIKE having these years behind me, I LIKE not second-guessing myself, I LIKE the feeling of having experience and knowledge and that there is more of that to come. Sure, I may no longer be able to put my legs behind my bed or run a sub-eight minute mile – or CAN I? I haven’t tried for a while – but that’s a small trade-off for this glorious peace of mind, this who-gives-a-shit attitude, the feeling that this is who I am, take it or leave it.

It’s like bananas.

I don’t mean it IS bananas, although it is, the worship of youth culture. I mean that we are literally like bananas. God bless the banana, I say, what a versatile and wonderful fruit. Bananas are delicious when they are still a bit greenish, they make a great smoothie when they are yellow and frozen, and when they become black and mushy and kind of grody, they make the absolute best baked goods. I ask you, what can’t a banana do? They are full of vitamins, potassium, iron, and fibre, they have electrolytes and prebiotics, they are essentially a superfood. They are reliably inexpensive and available year-round, and if you are travelling and are concerned about getting explosive diarrhea from a piece of fruit? Have a banana! They come pre-wrapped! You can pretend to make a phone call with them, you can make your mouth into a giant banana smile, and you can look deeply into your husband’s eyes while eating them, so he can uncomfortably look away.

There is a time and place for every stage of a banana’s life.

There is no judgement about which stage is better – they are all useful and delicious in their own way. All hail the humble banana, and all hail us, in all our glory, no matter what stage we are in. I feel like I am in the banana ice cream stage: kind of sweet and soft, good for a dessert, better with some chocolate sauce and Reece’s Pieces…you know what, I’m not sure this metaphor is working anymore.

Weekly Reading

The Elegance of the Hedgehog. This interesting little book involves a middle aged concierge in an expensive Parisian hotel particulier and a 12-year-old inhabitant of said building, both of whom hide their extensive, and kind of pretentious, intelligence in order to fit into society’s expectations for them. The concierge pretends to like things like cabbage and television – so pedestrian! – so that no one will know she’s a brilliant autodidact, while the 12-year-old has decided that privileged life has no meaning, and so she is going to set fire to the building and kill herself by her thirteenth birthday. Talk about preteen angst. When an intelligent Japanese gentleman moves into the building, things start to change for both of them; discoveries are made and friendships are created. It’s a statement on class-consciousness, to be sure, as well as the beauty of life and the power of connection. 

Writers and Lovers. I first read this gorgeously-written book in 2022, and I wanted to reread it concurrently with the author’s latest, Heart the Lover, which is, interestingly, both a prequel and a sequel to Writers and Lovers. Alas, due to library holds, the concurrent read didn’t work out, but I think that’s for the better: I think the books work so beautifully stand-alone, with the “oh, THAT’S what happened” feeling of Heart the Lover. A concurrent read would highlight a big inconsistency with one of the major plot points of Heart the Lover, when compared with the character of Casey in Writers and Lovers. I know from an interview with Lily King that the big plot point was a late addition to one of the final drafts, and I like knowing that – I like knowing the process, and I think that plot point added so much to Heart the Lover, even if that means that some character details don’t stand up to close reading scrutiny. The tl;dr here is that I LOVE THIS BOOK and I also loved Heart the Lover, and I think they should be read and appreciated separately. I loved Writers and Lovers when I read it in 2022, and I love it even more now. It hit me differently this time around and affected me deeply.

Interestingly, I went to look up my 2022 review and it is in a post entitled “Psychological Long Covid” in which I talk about panicking at the grocery store, hoarding lemon juice, and also – callback to podcasts – eviscerate a book written by an obnoxious and privileged podcaster. Blog posts are such time capsules! And speaking of time capsules!

The Remains of the Day. Wow, this book. This book! I loved it so much. It combines two of my major interests: the staffing and running of great English houses, and the political ideologies and events in the years between the World Wars, hashtag I am a War History Buff Now. This book should be held up as the gold standard for showing, not telling. The narrator, who seems kind of like a robot, personality-wise, is not exactly unreliable, but the information we receive is limited and much is concealed. Slowly, we begin to see a clearer picture of both the butler’s life, and also the life of his employer. This is a slow burn and is really, really remarkable in the writing style. It is desperately sad and contains incredible insight. The quote that might stay with me forever is this: “You’ve got to enjoy yourself. The evening’s the best part of the day. Now you can put your feet up and enjoy it. That’s how I look at it. Ask anybody, they’ll all tell you. The evening’s the best part of the day.” As a metaphor, it’s incredible. As a book, it’s absolutely excellent. As a part of this blog post, it’s perfect.

My husband was camping this week, so after I finished The Remains of the Day and stared into space for a while, emotionally destroyed, I thought Maybe I should watch the movie! And friends, I should have learned my lesson from Hamnet, along with EVERY OTHER TIME I have watched a screen adaptation of a beloved book: don’t. Or, don’t watch the movie so close to reading the book, because instead of appreciating the film for what it is, I mentally pulled it apart for how it deviated from the book. Did I expect it to have that same emotional interiority of a book, even though that is impossible to show on screen? Did I expect the literary genius to come through? I told my older son I was going to watch the movie and he said, warningly, that I would be angry because it wasn’t the book. The young can teach us so much. He knows me better than I know myself. I do not like screen adaptations. I NEVER like screen adaptations. I am who I am, and who I am is a browning banana who needs to be peeled and put in the freezer before the fruit flies start swarming. I really don’t know what I am doing with this metaphor. xo

Friday the 13th Fun: Ask Me Anything, and Five For Friday

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It has been SO LONG since I’ve spontaneously written a post, and on a Friday to boot! Since the pandemic, I have had very limited blocks of time and physical space in which to write, and it’s all I can do to write weekly recaps and monthly Favourite Things. Do not get me wrong, dear readers, I am here to entertain, but my blog is primarily a journal of my life, and at some point when this pandemic is no longer at the disco, I will want to look back at the weekly recaps to see where we were at during different time periods.

However! The stars have aligned and I have some time and space to write, so write I shall.

Ask Me Anything

I was inspired by my friend Suz (HI SUZ) to open up this space a little by asking you to Ask Me Anything. Ask me a question and the answer will be the subject of an upcoming blog! IS there anything you don’t know and want to know? I’ve been blogging since 2008 and I’m not too shy with details, so hopefully there is a stone or two left unturned.

Five For Friday

I was also inspired by Stephany (HI STEPHANY) to write a “Five For Friday” post. Fun fact: both Stephany and Suz live in Florida, which is about as far away from me as one can get before leaving the continent. Don’t you just love the virtual world, how we can be essentially pen pals with people from all over?

1) It looks like I will be teaching four yoga classes a week, in person, starting in September. I am very mixed about it, given the current “fourth wave” of Covid cases, but also I cannot bear the thought of teaching online anymore. I know several friends who have thrived as online yoga teachers, but I frankly find it stressful and exhausting, especially for my seniors. My very favourite thing about teaching yoga is seeing my students and having that connection with them (cue The Bachelor music) and so teaching online has been very difficult emotionally for me. And yet, with Covid cases surging once again, well…I feel like I am at a crossroads, to be honest. We shall see how it goes. If I’ve learned anything over the past *checks blog* seventy-three weeks, it’s that nothing is forever and changes can always be made and I am much more adaptable than I think I am.

2) I have discovered that I am an Extroverted Introvert. I desperately need time by myself to recharge; hence my early morning rising, my affinity for solo exercise, and all the time I spend reading, but at the same time, I love people. I love being around people, and on that note, we are having dinner guests this weekend for the first time since February 2020. I’m excited, not only to see this lovely couple, but also because two of the dishes I’m making feature vegetables from my garden; specifically kale and zucchini. You guys, I have so much zucchini. I think zucchini is the most satisfying thing to grow, other than leaf lettuce, as it is so prolific.

3) Every day I feel gratitude to the universe that I do not have a nut allergy. Nuts comprise a huge part of my diet, but I am starting to move away from almond milk. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still eating almonds and almond butter, but I feel like my past consumption of almond milk is somewhat environmentally disastrous. I’ve started using macadamia nut milk in my smoothies – is it better than almond? I hope so. – and you guys, it is revolutionary. It’s so rich and creamy, with a really delicious flavour, and it has the same amount of calcium as almond milk, which is what attracted me to almond milk in the first place.

4) Speaking of calcium, I have been reading a lot about osteoporosis and menopause, and the importance of a strength routine for healthy bone density. To that end, my sons created an upper body strength routine for me and good lord, do I hate it. I mean, I’m DOING it, and maybe I’ll grow to like it, but I find strength training so very boring. I listen to upbeat music while “lifting” (can you call it “lifting” if you use five pound weights?) and that helps somewhat. It feels like a chore; any suggestions to make strength training more interesting, I’m all ears.

Meep meep! I’m a big weight!

5) My aunt sent me some royal family memorabilia, and I’m thrilled. After some thought and a poll on Instagram, I have decided that I am going to USE the mugs, maybe not every day, but I’m not going to just put them in a cupboard. Can we all agree that we should use the good things, the things that make us happy, every day? I don’t want to be like one of those old ladies who keeps the furniture covered with plastic or the table covered with a wipeable tablecloth just to “save it.” Imagine going through your whole life and dying, having never drank coffee out of your Queen Elizabeth mug. That feels tragic.

Happy Friday, everyone! I’ll be enjoying this immensely beautiful weather with a few backyard cocktails today while watching my zucchini grow. Don’t forget – ask me anything! And tell me: do you use the Good Stuff? xo

Dented Self-Esteem; Fifty-Nine Weeks In

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That’s A Dent To The Self-Esteem

I was asked if I wanted the seniors’ discount last week at Shoppers, so perhaps my skin-care routine isn’t working the way I had hoped.

The worst part is that I didn’t even get the discount. After the woman said “Are we doing the seniors’ discount today?” in the pleasantest voice, unaware of my dented self-esteem, I hesitated and said “Um, sure,” at which point she looked at me suspiciously and told me, sternly that I needed to be 55 plus. The only thing that would have been more awkward about this exchange is if she asked for proof of ID, and I would have been exposed as a liar for a discount that I never asked for in the first place, while a lineup of people idled behind me. I mean, it’s only ten percent, what price my dignity here? How badly do I want that extra $4.50?

Why did you ASK then? I did NOT say, but thought, because kindness is important even when a person is implying that you are nine years older than you actually are, and working in customer service is difficult at the best of times, and we have been in a global pandemic for fifty-nine weeks. I admitted that no, I was not 55, and then the woman proceeded to ask three times if I wanted a bag, which I did not, and I took my Advil and my nail polish remover and left the premises, only a little bit shattered.

Two things: I worked as a waitress for years while in university, and I never ONCE asked if a person required the seniors’ discount. I applied it only when asked, or if someone was obviously an octogenarian, or if they were regular customers who always asked for the discount. Believe me, with a last name like MacPherson, I will ASK for my ten percent off at Shopper’s the second I am eligible. The other thing is that I was at the garden centre a few weeks ago and I overheard the cashier asking the couple buying fertilizer for proof of age in order to get the discount. These people were 80 if they were a day. Apparently the garden centre has problems with people claiming the seniors’ discount who aren’t actually seniors, which, well. I love a good discount so I am not going to criticize, but it was odd to see this elderly couple dig for their driver’s licenses, and my paranoia about being asked for proof of age is based on real-life experiences.

Not In Our Lifetime, Clifford

My husband has a new toy:

He’s wanted an espresso machine for years, and after working from home for so long, and the Starbucks down the street closing, AND a highly-rated model going on sale at Costco online, he finally purchased one. He’s really missed his afternoon Americano and his latte and what have you, and meanwhile I am happy because I can drink my morning pot of coffee in peace, without someone trying to pour a cup at 8:00 am and finding there are only two ounces left in the pot, leading to the question did you drink all the coffee? Of course I drank all the coffee, by 8:00 am I’ve been up for hours, I am a quantity-over-quality girl when it comes to my pot of not-strong black Kirkland Signature. Anyway, he loves his new toy, I love my copious amounts of weak coffee, we have marital harmony, all is good.

Sometimes when we get an item like this in our house, I think of a conversation between my grandparents, years ago. My grandma had bought a bread machine, and my grandpa wondered if the machine would pay for itself in cost savings, by making bread at home instead of buying it. My grandma replied Not in our lifetime, Clifford, which should be embroidered on a pillow somewhere. Not in our lifetime, Clifford pops into my head when I think of the vegetables I am hopefully going to harvest from my new, not-cheap raised beds. Will they pay for themselves? Not in our lifetime, Clifford. Will the espresso machine pay for itself in homemade Americanos instead of Starbucks runs? Well, Starbucks is pretty expensive, so MAYBE in our lifetime, Clifford. But probably not.

Bananas for Bananas

The only complaint I have about the espresso machine is that it takes up space on the countertop that used to be where I kept the bananas. This might seem insignificant to most of you, and from Sunday through Tuesday it’s not a huge problem, but on grocery day and beyond things get a little crowded.

What can I say, we go through a lot of bananas in this house. I’d say we average 25 a week, depending on the season and what other kind of fruit is in the house. Twenty would be the absolute minimum, although we have gone as high as 35. Anyway, after reading Suzanne’s blog about bananas (HI SUZANNE) I had a craving for banana “nice cream.” Usually I blend together frozen bananas with cocoa powder and almond milk, and top it all off with homemade magic shell, but I was jonesing for a little chocolate-peanut butter action.

People. I blended together frozen bananas with peanut butter and almond milk, then stirred in mini Reece Pieces, and swirled the whole thing with homemade chocolate sauce and it was like a choir of angels burst into my kitchen and started singing.

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Back Into The Water

I got my period for the first time in a very long time; it had been so long since I’ve had a Ladies’ Holiday that I was actually wondering if that was it, if I was entering the Change of Life. My period tracker on my Garmin app kept cheerfully reminding me that it was almost that time, and to make sure I log my symptoms, and I kept having to adjust the calendar, until I wondered if the app was going to blow up and uninstall itself.

The weird thing is that I had absolutely zero warning; I was as taken aback by its sudden appearance as a young teenager who wears white pants to school and doesn’t carry supplies in her backpack. In the days prior I didn’t feel like stabbing anyone for not putting the empty toilet paper roll in the recycling, even though it’s RIGHT THERE, I didn’t have breasts swelling out past my tank tops and bras, I didn’t have to surreptitiously use my sons’ acne medication, I wasn’t even a little bit emotional. I mean, I heard Landslide on the radio and I did NOT burst into tears. Am I a robot now? You might think the moderate craving for peanut butter and chocolate could be correlated with the upcoming Ladies’ Holidays, but I make a big Sunday dinner with dessert every week, and every week that dessert is just what I feel like having, and so I think any correlation would be coincidental. Anyway, I was startled to wake up to Aunt Flo knocking at my door with her suitcase in tow.

The excitement I felt at the possibility of entering my Next Stage of Womanhood probably goes against my feelings about being asked about the seniors’ discount, but emotions are complex, and here we are.

Outfit of the Week

The snow has melted – for now – and I was able to get a bit of gardening and yard work in this week. This week’s outfit features a t-shirt I bought in Maui for FIVE AMERICAN DOLLARS back in 2016, or possibly 2015.

You cannot expect a lot for five dollars, but this top has served me well. The only thing is that it’s quite short, and so I always wear a tank top underneath as this is not 1993 and I am no longer a person who wears crop tops, no matter how fashionable they may be right now. The tank top and jeans have made appearances on OOTW before; and those shoes are my designated garden shoes because they have a flower design on them. Dress for the job you want, people, and the job I want is to work in my back yard.

Pandemic Reading

Small Game Hunting at the Local Coward Gun Club. This was highly recommended to me by a friend (HI TARYN) and the writing really is excellent; the characters are complex and intertwined. It is also literally the saddest book I have ever read in my entire life, and I’ve read some doozies. Like, this blows Of Mice and Men completely out of the water, in terms of sadness, and that is my measuring stick. HOO BOY. It is as bleak, dismal, depressing, dark, and gritty as February in Newfoundland, which is where this book takes place.

Brave New World. Ugh. My older son is studying this in English and so I pulled out my own copy to reread and discuss with him. I last read it when I was a teen and now remember why I haven’t read it since. I know, I know, it’s an important book, but to me it’s a total snore. Me: I don’t like this book. My husband: why, was it written by a man? Why yes. I remember when I first read this, back in the 90s, I was puzzled as to why they refer to women as being “pneumatic.” I looked it up in the dictionary and it didn’t make sense. People, I was 46 years old before I discovered, as my son says, that they are referring to her breasts. And ass. Of course they are. Male writers, am I right? I know, I know, it was incredible for its time, satire, the dangers of population control and consumerism, etcetera, but ugh all the same. Oh! The only other thing I remembered from this book – other than the puzzling pneumatic statements – is the saying “Spending instead of mending” which isn’t even correct. It’s “ENDING instead of spending,” which, my way makes more sense.

The Mothers. Now THIS is a book! This was an excellent read about friends, secrets, and the different definitions of mothering. It was so good; I liked Bennett’s The Vanishing Half but I think this was even better. I highly recommend it.

Happy May, everyone! May your week be filled with sunshine. xo

Shiny Happy Oven; Forty-Three Weeks In

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I know that it has been a crazy week but I have a very important update:

Let us all admire my gleaming, shiny oven!

Cleaning the oven led to one of those If You Give A Mouse A Cookie cleaning scenarios: I soaked the racks in the downstairs bathtub, which led to the scrubbing of said bathtub, which somehow led to the mopping of the downstairs tile, and then, since I had the mop and bucket out anyway, washing the floor of the back entry. Then, for no reason at all, I decided to move all the living room furniture to sweep under it, and, in conclusion, I am very happy my teaching schedule is picking up this week.

Every time I clean my oven I think, that wasn’t so bad, if I did it more often it would be so easy and then I make a resolution to clean it quarterly or at least every four months. Inevitably, years pass, and this same scenario repeats itself. I do have a self-clean function, but I do not use it. I used it once, naively, during the winter and I a) spent the entire time terrified that the oven would catch on fire and burn the house down, and b) the house smelled terrible for days. Never again! I vowed to use only elbow grease and some kind of crazy fume-free spray from that time forward.

Note: my mother-in-law got a new oven and it has a steam-clean function; the oven itself heats up to about 250 degrees with a pan of water inside, and it somehow cleans perfectly. I want that for my next oven, which, hopefully, is years away. My mom told me yesterday that the average age of appliances before they die is seven years, and we bought this oven in 2012, so hopefully I didn’t just jinx myself.

Another note about my mother-in-law: she still has the chest freezer from when she got married in 1962 AND IT STILL WORKS. I mean, it probably sucks up vast amounts of energy resources but IT STILL WORKS. I find that remarkable.

One more note about my mother-in-law: as all of us canners know, it is impossible to buy lids right now. They are…just not available. Who knows when they will be? The last time I saw my mother-in-law, who is an avid canner, she told me that she had recently learned that lids can be reused. As long as they are not damaged in any way, they will still seal. When I expressed extreme skepticism about this, she took me to her pantry and showed me rows of preserves and tomatoes, all with perfectly sealed lids. “Wow,” I said, “I’ve thrown out a lot of lids.” She looked at me and said “I’ve been canning for sixty years, imagine how much money I’ve spent on lids that I’ve thrown in the garbage.” We both silently stared at her jars, contemplating this.

After that visit, I made jam with old lids and voila:

Perfectly sealed! I admit I was a bit worried but I thought that a) jam is a pretty low-risk item, and if they didn’t seal I would just refrigerate them, and b) I like to live dangerously.

As my friend Tora (HI TORA) said back in April, if we can take away one positive from this pandemic, it’s that we are learning new things and saving money.

Part of my New Year’s Mindfulness Resolution is to shop more mindfully, something that absolutely went out the window in 2020 as we all lost our minds in the grocery stores. I think my husband will leave me and my mother will disown me if I attempt another one year shopping challenge but this year, I am going to really try to be mindful about my clothes. I mean, you guys. I have so many clothes. I really do. My closet is literally bursting, but particularly with yoga clothes, sweaters, and boots. Those three items are ALWAYS the items I am attracted to when shopping and I really (probably) (maybe) don’t need more. This year I am going to really try to be mindful when shopping and, when tempted, before hitting “purchase” (because who is actually shopping in person these days, or ever?) I am going to “shop my closet.”

This is not to say that I won’t buy new things, because let’s face it, we all need some source of joy. But maybe, just MAYBE, I don’t need another pair of knee-high black boots. Maybe.

On that note, I introduce…

Outfit of the Week

I will not bore you all with an Outfit of the DAY, who has time for that, but I am going to choose my favourite outfit each week. I love clothes, and I think it’s important – even in a pandemic – to find joy in getting dressed every day, even if that day only involves working on that 1000-piece puzzle my mom gave me for Christmas. That puzzle, incidentally, has taken over our lives. It is our new master. We sit down to look for Just One Piece and then, hours later, look up from The Puzzle, bleary-eyed and completely disoriented.

This is a Friday outfit; underneath that super-cozy sweater is a yoga tank and long-sleeved tee, as I teach on Fridays. Yoga leggings are so comfortable but not quite warm enough on their own for January, so I have also added legwarmers, like the 80s girl I am.

Barkley approves.

Pandemic Reading

Do you want to read about a 54 year old unemployed copy editor who goes to Cuba and instantly falls in love with a 31 year old Cuban woman? Do you want to read about a 54 year old man getting drunk on rum and having sex with his 20 something colleague in the ladies room at a bar? Do you want to hear this self-described unattractive man speak disparagingly about those women’s appearances, including the term “puppy fat” and details about moles and moustaches? Then this is the book for you. There was a small interesting twist but not much of one. I eye rolled through much of this book. Pass.

Oh, this was good! A complex and wonderful book about women and choices, consequences and fresh starts. A woman in Jaipur, who left an abusive marriage at 17, is enjoying a life of renown as a henna artist and herbal healer. Things get complicated when her husband shows up with a sister she didn’t know she had! Includes a few recipes, a history of the caste system, and even a glossary of terms. Highly recommend, unless you’re a person who doesn’t believe that women have autonomy over their own bodies and should have the ability to make choices for themselves.

My friend Julie (HI JULIE) told me about this book; it’s a really incredible book about finding meaning in life, written by a man who survived four different concentration camps and all manner of horrible tortures. Choosing our own response and attitude to the situation we find ourselves in is the last of the freedoms, it is something that can never be taken away. Amazing book.

I ran my library stack right down to zero because my husband has been urging me to read this book for quite some time. It is a very incredible story of survival, but I am not an adventure story type of person, so I cannot say I enjoyed it. The whole time I was reading it, my Mom Voice kept popping up in my head: What are you DOING? GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW. Which is, of course, the point of the book.

The boys are back to in-class school this week; fingers crossed all goes well. Have a beautiful week, everyone! xo

Boyhouse Year In Review 2020

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WELL! I don’t think any of us could have possibly predicted the year that we just had, in any capacity. I would like to think that we will never take things for granted again: our health, our ability to travel, our friendships and family, but human nature being what it is, there will come a day when we probably will.

2020 was disastrous in so many ways, but I think that looking back on it, we can see massive change and growth, and, looking forward, glimmers of hope. I know that going through this year has made me re-evaluate many things, and I have realized that many things I felt I could never live without, I have.

So let us look back on the year that was absolutely unlike any year we have experienced, but that will surely be talked about and written about for decades to come.

Boyhouse Year In Review 2020

January

I was stressed out about juggling doctor, dentist, and orthodontist appointments for the boys – remember juggling things? – it was insanely cold and I went for a mall walk like an elderly person, and I got weirdly stressed out about getting a gel pedicure. I also – sob – complained about exam break and my son being home from school IMAGINE YOUR KIDS BEING HOME FROM SCHOOL FOR THREE WEEKS JUST IMAGINE LOLOLOLOLSOB.

January 2020 Nicole was such an innocent, and also I did not go for that gel pedicure.

February

I overheard a man at Walmart asking for extra-small condoms, I went to Math Night at the high school and was comparatively a hippie, I went to Costco on a Sunday afternoon for the first and last time and also baked a heart-shaped cake for dinner with friends, and I wore a different outfit every day in February.

All the outfits were pretty similar though.

March

I talked about how insidious jealousy is, although I freely admitted to being insanely jealous of my friends’ hair, I noticed people buying a LOT of toilet paper at Costco (cue ominous music), I really did try to fulfil my New Year’s Resolution of buying a bra but failed, we cancelled our trip to Mexico and I bought a lot of groceries, my son turned 16 and we had our first Pandemic Birthday, and I accidentally hoarded taco shells.

Everything shut down, including the yoga studio, and so I also started my home yoga practice. This was a huge change because nearly every day for thirteen years I went to the studio to practice in the early morning hours. School was also cancelled “indefinitely.”

April

In what can only be described as the Worst Timing Ever, my coffee maker started leaking, grocery shopping became a harrowing, soul-sucking quest and I started wearing a mask, my sons stopped shaving, I got my very first cloth mask and declared it to be the New Lipstick, I coloured my own hair for the first time in decades, and I cleaned and reorganized the hideous laundry area.

I also had a pandemic birthday and my friends brought me a gift while wearing dinosaur costumes and playing Danger Zone.

May

Some things started to open up, notably the orthodontist, which meant that I did NOT have to use toenail clippers to cut my son’s brace wires, we had a Pandemic Mother’s Day and I stressed out about baking powder, we visited my parents for the first time in months, I aired my grievances, big and small, and I was really on edge about grocery carts.

I also talked about pandemic beauty products.

June

Amid lots of worries, we celebrated Barkley’s birthday, we started to catch up on appointments as medical and dental offices opened, I gave myself a bikini wax and I learned some things are best left to the professionals, the renos were finished on our vacation home and so we went there for a little break and I thoroughly enjoyed the newly-flushing toilet, and I reminisced about Hammerman.

I also shared my hair styling tips, follow me for more great beauty advice.

July

I talked about the role of luck in life, I had lots of adventures, including one in which I learned how outhouses in the backcountry get emptied, I GOT A PELOTON AND IT HAS BEEN LIFE-CHANGING (and also practiced gratitude), and I talked about leaning in and out, yin and yang.

I also talked about sweat! Again, follow me for more fascinating and glamourous topics.

August

I finally watched Hamilton and also bleached my hands accidentally, someone called the cops on my son and his band, I realized after months of wearing shorts that the boys had vastly outgrown all their pants, we were on a vacation of sorts and I prepared for the boys to actually go back to actual physical school.

I also talked about my beloved herb garden.

September

The boys went back to school (!!!!!!), my son turned 15 and had a socially distanced birthday party, I marked six months since I had my hair cut and professionally coloured, I had the Lido Shuffle stuck in my head and I actually did get my hair cut and coloured.

Also, Barkley shared my passion for fall fruits.

October

My son finally (FINALLY OMG FINALLY) shaved off his pandemic moustache and I got excused from jury duty, we enjoyed incredible fall colours and for the first time ever I got to eat something at Thanksgiving dinner (that I made myself, but still), I had an adventure at Costco, and I talked about Mom Jeans and Dressy Sweatpants.

November

My husband declared himself the winner in the Halloween decoration war, it was the return of the Tiny Secret Festive Season and I finished my Christmas shopping, I had a small breakdown in the grocery store, I talked about Friluftsliv, and we got put on a mini-lockdown.

I also had fun – and THANK YOU ALL FOR WEIGHING IN – discussing Divisive Issues! That was probably my favourite post to write, and my favourite comment section of 2020.

December

Everything was fine, I got festively crazy, the mini-lockdown turned into a major lockdown which we are still in today, and we got a whole lot of snow.

I also talked about being a Linus’ blanket to someone else’s Charlie Brown Christmas tree.

As we wrap up 2020, I’m looking back at my goals for the year (I still didn’t buy a new bra) and looking forward to setting goals for a fresh new year. I learned a lot about myself this year, I grew as a person, so many things changed, there was much sadness and despair but also much happiness, beauty, gratitude, and time with my little family. (SO MUCH TIME WITH MY LITTLE FAMILY).

Thank you so much for coming along with me on my adventures during this strange year; I wish you so much joy and love for the New Year. Here’s to 2021! xoxoxo

Does Anyone Else Remember Hammerman; Fifteen Weeks In

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Last week, for no discernible reason, I remembered that MC Hammer had a cartoon television show called Hammerman; the actual show I do not remember at all, probably because I didn’t actually watch it, except that it featured magical shoes. Due to the magic that is the internet, I could watch an episode, or at least the theme song, which I recall was incredibly long and detailed, but I’d rather leave it as a strange memory bouncing around in my brain.

It’s funny sometimes, how popular culture from one’s childhood can just resurface for no particular reason. I’m not talking about Hammerman, as I was a teenager at the time of its popularity, such as it was, and again, I never watched it. But occasionally some Saturday morning cartoon memory will pop into my head, most notably from School House Rock or an obscure commercial for cheese (I hanker for a hunk of cheese!). I can still sing the entire theme song for ParticipAction – do it with your friends, you both can bend, do it with some hustle, you can make some muscle – and I can also still feel the shame of getting the Participant sticker, rather than the badges, handed out at gym class. I still cannot do a pull-up.

It’s incredible to think that forty years ago we were all exclusively watching Saturday morning cartoons and arranging our bathroom and cereal breaks around commercials; we had to wait a whole week to see who would be on the next episode of The Muppet Show, and an entire summer wondering who shot JR, and now anyone can watch anything at any time. I mean, I remember getting our first PVR approximately 13 years ago and the amazement that came from being able to pause and rewind live television, and now here we are, able to access Hammerman or Conjunction Junction on a whim. If I wanted to I could watch every single episode of The Facts of Life; my childhood self would be amazed and envious.

I remember learning, back in the Eighties, that some of the songs that were huge hits were also cover songs: I Think We’re Alone Now, Lean On Me, I Can’t Help Falling In Love, You Keep Me Hanging On. In recent years I discovered the OG versions of Hard to Handle and There’s Always Something There To Remind Me, and for all of the above, I prefer the originals. However, there are a few songs that I think are better as covers: Lovers In A Dangerous Time (Barenaked Ladies), Knocking on Heaven’s Door (Guns and Roses), and Light My Fire (Jose Feliciano). If you, dear reader, have any thing to add, I would love to hear it.

Speaking of hit songs, last week I learned something incredible: Jimmy Buffett has just released a new album. JIMMY BUFFETT. HAS JUST RELEASED A NEW ALBUM. Does anyone else find that amazing? I mean, for one thing, he’s 73 years old. For another thing, the man has an enormous number of albums to his name and I would challenge you to name any of them. You can’t, can you? And yet he is an incredibly successful recording artist with a devoted following, not to mention a Sirius channel of his own. Talk about finding your niche in the world. It’s quite inspiring, really. Where would we be without Margaritaville? Searching for our lost shakers of salt, I guess. We all enjoy Margaritaville, of course, but my personal favourite Jimmy Buffett song, one that I do not think gets enough accolades, is Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw. That is one catchy tune, and I am not being facetious. I just got a waterbed, it’s filled up for me and you.

Well, I’ll be singing that one all day, which is better than a few minutes ago, when it was ParticipAction, get with the action, do it, do it, do it.

Pandemic Reading

This was a fun week of re-reading the Rosie series. Initially I had thought that the trilogy got better and better with each book, but after reading them all this week, I have decided that they are all equally excellent in their own way, which is a huge and rare accomplishment for any trilogy. I really love how the books portray a person who processes the world differently, with so much affection and humour.

Yummy Things

I have been having the occasional Friday afternoon wine date with my dear friend and neighbour Taryn (HI TARYN); last week I made the three house trek to her backyard, carrying my brand new (thank you, Superstore, for your free gift with purchase) camping chair, and this tote bag packed with wine, my keys, and a glass. Isn’t it cute?

For Sunday night dessert last night, my older son made a pan of Reese Peanut Butter Bars; if you like peanut butter and chocolate and you see a package in the grocery store, buy it! The bars were very yummy and simple to put together.

What’s Blooming

This has been a strangely late year for almost all my shrubs and plants; the roses are coming along but still pretty stick-like, the dogwoods are not completely leafed out yet, and although my newly-planted clematis is blooming, my established one is not. However, the lilacs are fully out and almost finished, and the Siberian irises are glorious.

Pandemic Fitness

When running and walking this week, the lilac scents have been absolutely wonderful. Our fitness club has reopened with lots of restrictions, and I haven’t yet gone, but I’m considering doing a reconnaissance this week, as the weather has changed from Pleasant to Cold and Rainy. We will see.

Have a wonderful week, everybody! Keep safe! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Pandemic Birthday Edition

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I love birthdays. I love my own birthday, of course, but I love other people’s as well. There’s no better time, in my mind, to make someone feel special than on their birthday.

My Pandemic Birthday was on Tuesday – I’m 45! – and in the weeks leading up to it I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I wouldn’t get to go out for a huge Moroccan dinner…I wouldn’t be able to drive up to the lake to visit my parents…my mom wouldn’t be able to make me my traditional pink birthday cake…for my 40th we had a huge party and now we are on lockdown…

But as it turned out my Pandemic Birthday was absolutely wonderful, and possibly one of my best ever. It is certain to be one of my most memorable. We’ve been celebrating all week, and I have been enjoying every one of my favourite at-home things.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Pandemic Birthday Edition

A Dinner I Did Not Have To Cook Or Make Decisions About

I’m sure those of you who are – generally speaking – the designated cook in the house can relate to the desire to just not have to think about dinner. I told my husband that I wanted a dinner that not only did I not cook, but I also didn’t have to think about in any way. I would buy any groceries that were written on my list – my husband has a chronic lung condition and also high blood pressure, and so he’s in the Higher Risk category, and we are trying to keep the people leaving the house to just me – but I would not make the list.

Saturday was the night of the Big Dinner, and the guys did great. They grilled vegetables and portobellos and made sweet potato fries, all favourites of mine. Of course there was wine, and cake.

Cake

The guys made me an angel food cake – my favourite! – with non-dairy whipped cream and raspberries. I was not at all expecting them to bake a cake, but several weeks ago my older son had asked me to buy a box of angel food mix. It was his birthday, but then he said he wanted strawberry cake instead, so the box had been lingering in the cupboard ever since. Was it forward planning on his part? I have no idea. I’m just happy to have had cake.

Mindful Mornings

On the day of my actual birthday, I wanted to do every single thing I love – that could be done in-house. I wanted to be very mindful and enjoy each moment. I would like to be like that every day but that’s a lot to ask of a human. In any case, it was a good reminder to stop, look, and enjoy. I got up early, drank some coffee and read some lovely messages from friends, practiced yoga with my online group, drank more coffee and my favourite green smoothie, and then did a little cardio.

Teaching Yoga

I’ve been teaching Zoom Ashtanga yoga classes on Tuesdays and Fridays – and starting next week, seniors too! My boss offered to teach for me this week but I really wanted to see my students, albeit in “gallery view.”

Being Outside

You guys, it is FINALLY SPRING here and yes, we sure could still get snow anytime but that is what Calgary spring is all about. Enjoy the non-snow days. Carpe non-snow diem. My birthday was unseasonably warm and so I spent as much time outside as possible. I went for a walk with Barkley and a longer walk with the guys. I did some yard work, which is my actual favourite. The sweet girls down the block from us are constantly ramping up their sidewalk chalk game with various 2D obstacle courses and hopscotch patterns. On Tuesday, they had switched up to a long spring-themed course with flowers and a red carpet. I felt like the red carpet was there just for me.

The Godfather

On Saturday, we watched The Godfather with the boys, complete with popcorn and more wine. Sunday I decided to reread the book, which probably explains the insane mafia-related dreams I have been having all week. They would not send each other Christmas gifts, but they would not murder each other. Best line.

Gifts

I wasn’t sure what would happen for my birthday, in terms of gifts, but my husband bought me books by Elizabeth Strout, who I love, and the new Little Women movie. The boys bought me new Pandora charms: a mom and baby owl, a cactus offering “Free Hugs,” and a heart-shaped “Mom” charm.

Friends

I was the lucky recipient of so many notes, calls, and messages. My darling friends Allison and Hannah (HI ALLISON HI HANNAH) sent me flowers and a balloon:

Then my dear friends Denise and Duncan (HI DENISE HI DUNCAN) dropped off wine and vegan chocolate fudge ice cream. That alone would be wonderful enough but they dropped it off while wearing inflatable T-rex costumes and blasting “Danger Zone.”

Honestly, I could not be luckier or more blessed. Halfway to 90 feels great so far. xo