Monthly Archives: February 2023

Getting Controversial In The Boyhouse

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It was so cold here last week, with an enormous dump of fresh snow; it looked really pretty, in contrast to my Walking Outfit, which was not so pretty. Snow pants! Toque! Giant fake-fur hood! Frosted-over eyelashes! Teenage me, who wore tiny skirts with tights that were Just as warm as pants, Mom, would have been horrified.

Speaking of horrified, I have a complaint. It may be more of a personal pet peeve, but it is something that bothers me greatly, and that is when people state subjective opinions as objective facts. Or, more accurately, when people state negative subjective opinions as objective facts. There is a big difference between saying I hate chickpeas, and chickpeas are gross. When a person states an opinion as a well-known fact, such as Alice Munro’s writing is boring, I get my back up: no, YOU THINK it’s boring. There is a big difference between a person’s perception and the actual quality of the item in question. You can think whatever you want to about whatever you want, but opinions aren’t facts.

And I love hearing other people’s opinions, even negative ones! But words matter to me, and hearing Top Gun is a terrible movie is not the same as I hate Top Gun. Hate away! Opine that it’s terrible! But that is not an objective fact. There are many things that I don’t like, but that doesn’t make them objectively terrible; for example, I dislike action movies and books by Jody Picoult, but objectively, those are not bad things. They are just things that I dislike. I might THINK they are bad, but they are not, objectively.

Interestingly enough, my impassioned opinion about opinions-as-facts does not encompass positive opinions. If someone said to me ketchup chips are the finest chip ever invented or dogs are god’s greatest creatures, I would not be offended, particularly since those are two opinions I share, but even if I did not share them, I would be happy that someone else found joy in weird Canadian salty snacks and puppers. Therefore, all you Cat People reading this might be thinking How dare! Cats are god’s greatest creatures! and although I won’t agree I will just be happy for you and your purring companions. Enjoy your kitties! I’ll be over here with my fuzzy favourite, who may be wondering if I am indeed somewhere inside all those layers.

Anyway, I was thinking of this – my opinion pet peeve – because in my not-so-recent Ask Me Anything, Stephany (HI STEPHANY) asked what controversial opinion do you hold? I thought about this for a long time, because I didn’t think I hold any controversial opinions. I believe that people are all equal and deserve to be treated as such, regardless of gender, skin colour, sexuality, religious beliefs, or abilities, and that all people should have autonomy over their own bodies and be able to make choices that best suit their own life journeys; these seem to be topics that generate controversy for reasons I cannot fathom, but to me, equality and autonomy are not a matter of opinion.

This weekend I realized that I do indeed have a very controversial opinion, and that is that I hate pie. Yes, all kinds. To me, pie is a grievous waste of fruit at best, and a flaky monstrosity at worst. Cake all the way, baby. Cake all the way. With the same passion that I hate pie, I love cake; yes, all kinds. I even love grocery store sheet cakes that are universally considered to be subpar, with frosting that is universally considered to be too sweet. If one of them was in my house right now, I would cut myself a giant corner piece just to get the extra frosting, and arrange it so I could get an extra frosting flower on my piece as well.

Usually when I voice this extremely controversial Anti-Pie opinion, someone will ask what about pumpkin, what about rhubarb, what about apple? No, no, no. And I am not yucking anyone’s yum, here, but the thought of biting into a soft piece of cooked apple makes me physically shudder. Listen, I love apples. There’s nothing like a fresh, tart Macintosh to make my heart sing. However. I do not love COOKED apples. I don’t like pastry in general, but the thought of eating a piece of pie with soft, mushy apple in it…I can’t. I have always been this way and probably always will be this way.

So I hate pie, but I love my guys, and they love pie, so I make one for them every so often, and one of those occasions was this weekend.

Many perfectly good apples were sacrificed in the making of this dessert.

Speaking of desserts and Ask Me Anything, my lovely friend Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) asked what are your top recommendations for baked goods? This was fun to think about because I bake something at least twice a week, often more. Usually that baking is a snack loaf or muffins for the boys, but sometimes I throw together a batch of cookies or a cake. I am absolutely loving Julie van Rosendaal’s cake cookbook, and her pumpkin snack loaf is in regular rotation around here. The Lutheran Ladies have an amazing banana muffin recipe that I use frequently, as well as an oatmeal chocolate chip muffin that I based this recipe off of.

I wrote a weekly food blog at YMC from 2013-2017, and I have all of the recipes, plus some that I wrote on this blog, listed here. It is split into sections and one of those sections is Baked Goodies; I think my favourites from that list are the Pot of Gold Cupcakes, the Chocolate Chunk Coconut Cookies, Old Fashioned Oatmeal Cookies, and, of course, my Grandma’s Gingersnaps. My mom’s Sugar Cookies never fail, and are a holiday staple around here.

I do love baking, but I should note that all of the above recipes are my own variations of the original. I never follow a recipe to the letter, because I am a wild rebel when it comes to baked goods. I mean, why limit ourselves to a teaspoon of vanilla when two teaspoons would be more delicious? Why use a whole cup of sugar when you can cut it to three-quarters and no one notices? Why not try coconut oil or add some extra chocolate chips? It’s a fun way to play with baking, and when the weather is dipping into the minus-a-lot, it feels like a nice, cozy activity.

Weekly Reading

Speaking of cozy activities, it was a good week for getting some reading and puzzling done.

Mary Jane. I was born in the year in which this book was set – 1975 – so I can’t say from experience, but it seems to me that people in the 70s were really separated into Establishment and Counterculture. This book – a sweet, cute coming of age story – deals with a young girl who is hired to be a summer nanny at a house that is definitely Counterculture. They smoke pot! The doctor is a psychiatrist, not a medical doctor! The wife doesn’t cook or clean and the house is a disaster! The girl is from a strict Presbyterian home that, inexplicably, has a framed picture of President Ford in its dining room. Anyway. The girl – Mary Jane – brings her mother’s housewifery skills into the chaotic household, and she learns what it is to be accepted, and becomes part of the family. It’s a sweet little book, although I found the dialogue to be stilted and contrived, but light and enjoyable nonetheless. One thing I really liked, which is quite unusual, is that at one point Mary Jane thanks her mother for teaching her all her skills, and says how much she values them. In my own life, I spend a great deal of time creating a calm household with lots of delicious food in it – see above! – and sometimes I wonder if this is time well spent. It was nice to see it valued in a book that was very tongue-in-cheek in name.

Navigating The Messy Middle. Many many years ago I read Ann Douglas’ Mother of All Pregnancy/ Baby/ Toddler Books, and I loved them. Canadian content! I feel like I’ve come full circle, reading her book about being a woman in midlife. Well, maybe not full circle; perhaps in 20 years I’ll read about being a woman in the golden years. Anyhoo. This is a book that is almost entirely made up of interviews with other women, and it is incredibly inclusive and diverse. Because of the interviews, it reads like a series of long-form old-school magazine articles, if that makes sense. It makes for a nice fast read. I don’t know if there’s anything particularly new or earth-shattering here, but it is such an affirming book. Because of the diverse viewpoints, it really made me feel both seem and like we are all on a journey, with different paths, but together. Very uplifting and encouraging: from being a sandwich generation to body changes! I really liked the sections in friendship, relationships, and “raising” young adult children.

BFF. When I started reading this, I thought this seems familiar, and that is because the author also wrote the memoir Group, and there are a few overlaps between the characters and stories in that memoir and this one, about the author and another women who lived their whole lives with a lot of difficulties maintaining female friendships, but who become very close friends. Here’s the thing: I didn’t love Group, and I didn’t love this book, which is probably on me – note to self: read the synopsis BEFORE blindly putting a book on my library list. I didn’t love BFF for the same reason that I didn’t love Group, and that was that I found the author to be incredibly frustrating. Yes, I realize that flaws and foibles are what makes for a good memoir, however, get it together, author. I guess her particular flaws and foibles were just especially upsetting to me. However, this wasn’t wasted time; there were some thought-provoking parts, particularly about female friendship triangles, and the end of the book had some really insightful thoughts about the pandemic and how it helped the author reconnect with long-lost friends.

You guys, Wednesday is MARCH! March! What a whirlwind life is, even when not much is going on. I hope you all have a cozy week, doing things you love, and maybe even eating some cake – or pie, I won’t judge! My aversion means more pie for all of you! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Love The Skin You’re In Edition

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Last June, I attended the social part of a conference my husband’s company was hosting at the Banff Springs; it was my first Major Social Event since before the pandemic, and I was so excited to go, dress up, and talk to as many people as possible. It was so much fun, and Nicole The Hug Monster was unleashed, which was a little bit unnerving after the fact as my husband received notification that one of the conference attendees was Confirmed Covid post-conference, but I didn’t get sick and neither did anyone else on my husband’s team, including him.

My favourite part about events like this is the social aspect, but also, I love to get all dressed up. Quite frankly, I felt really beautiful in my nice dress and my dark lipstick and my heels, but as I chatted with the other women there – all of whom were around my age or a few years older – I couldn’t help but notice something: they all had really, really gorgeous skin. Dewy, glowing, and smooth, their faces were lacking in wrinkles, particularly, and crucially for me and comparisons with my own face, on their foreheads. Normally I try to refrain from commenting on other people’s appearances, but we were all several glasses of wine in by this time, and I plaintively said they were all gorgeous, their skin was gorgeous, and what was their secret?

At this point they all glanced at each other and started laughing. “Oh honey,” one of them said to me, “It’s Botox!” Another woman said, “Honestly, the doctor’s office is the only way to go.”

Ah! I see.

I am not a woman with low self-esteem in any department, and I am satisfied with and confident in my physical appearance, but I will tell you this: at that moment, I felt somewhat akin to the Crypt Keeper. I did not feel great about my Forever Furrowed Brow and Eternal Eye Bags. I have, at times, briefly considered consulting with a dermatologist, but have always opted for not consulting a dermatologist. On a practical level, I cannot imagine scheduling appointments every four months and then paying hundreds of dollars each time just because my forehead reflects a lifetime of over-exaggerated facial expressions. On a philosophical level, I am staunchy Pro-Aging, I believe every year is a gift, and, as the saying goes, Erase Your Lines, Erase Your Life. I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to have a frozen face that doesn’t move with me and my hands when I talk excitedly, I don’t want to have the same face at eighty that I do now, I hate that the patriarchal society we are living in wants to make older women invisible or, at the very least, does not value our beautiful faces in the same way that it does women half our age. Fuck all that, with age comes wisdom, wisdom is beauty, our gorgeous faces showcase our lives lived.

I do, however, want to look just a little bit less haggard.

People contain multitudes and I am no different. I also am well aware that nothing short of medical intervention is really going to change my appearance, and, deep down, I don’t want to. Unless I start filtering all my Instagram photos and conduct all social interactions from inside my own home, never leaving the house, the face I have now is what I am going to present to the world. Since that evening in June, I started been using a few products that, while not significantly changing anything, has at least slowed down my wrinkly trajectory. I feel not like a crumpled up paper bag; I feel like a once-crumpled up paper bag that has been smoothed over. The wrinkles are there and always will be, but they feel slightly blurred. Blurred lines! But not the weird kind. If you know, you know.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Love The Skin You’re In Edition

Mirror Meditation

In the early 2000s, my mother-in-law gifted me a subscription to O Magazine, and I absolutely loved it. Remember magazine subscriptions? I was so happy to get something fun and shiny in the mail every month, and my favourite part of O – other than her Favourite Things, on which I have based this very series for the past decade plus – was the Ask Val column, with beauty editor Valerie Monroe. Imagine my excitement, then, when Monroe was the guest on not one but two of my regular podcasts. She is in her seventies now and is truly inspirational with respect to her attitude towards beauty and aging.

One thing discussed on both of these podcasts was the idea of Mirror Meditation: this is looking into your own eyes in the mirror, with love, as if you are looking deep into the eyes of someone you love. “As if” sounds a bit odd; of course you should love yourself in the same way you love others, but of course, we are our own worst critics. If you are a woman in this world, then you have most likely spent your life being socialized to be dissatisfied and unhappy with your face and body. Anyway, I have been doing this Mirror Meditation every day, looking at myself with soft eyes and a loving expression and I am here to tell you that it is really wonderful. Try it! Look at yourself without thinking oh, I should do something about those roots, yikes, what is with my eyebrows today, ugh, I look exhausted…just look at yourself and think I love you. Does it sound kind of weird and hokey? YES. Does it work? Also yes!

ROCing My World

Something I really appreciated about the Monroe interviews was her attitude towards beauty products; her thought is that if you like the way a product feels, and you can afford it then why not buy them, BUT there are very few products that do anything close to what they claim to do. In other words, clinically speaking, there are very few products that actually do help to smooth out or minimize wrinkling or other features of aging. One such product is a prescription retinoid or, for those of us unwilling or unable to obtain a prescription retinoid, its off-the-shelf cousin, retinol. I have been using retinol products for a long time now, and in June I added ROC Deep Wrinkle Night Cream to the list.

I thought of including a photo of a new tube, but I wanted to show you how long this small product lasts: I am nothing if not consistent in my skin care routine, using it every night on my forehead since mid-June, and I still have some product left. I think this is great value for the money and although it is not some kind of Botox-miracle-substitute, I do think it’s helped my Furrowed Forehead. In any case, my forehead has not gotten worse.

Face Facts

My whole life, I have had fairly oily skin, but perimenopause has really changed that, at least in the winter months. I have started using Ilia Super Serum Skin Tint and I love it.

It’s very moisturizing, with a dewy, natural coverage, and it has SPF 40, which is important even in the winter months. I spend at least ninety minutes outside a day, and that adds up, sun exposure-wise. The only thing I don’t like about it is that it has a strange, medicinal kind of smell, which I attribute to the sunscreen. It’s almost like old-school zinc, in scent, but it’s a price I am willing to pay for soft, even skin.

Pack Your (Undereye) Bags

I have never been a person to wear undereye concealer; I have always found that it creased or became greasy-feeling midday, causing my eye makeup to gravitate downwards, which wasn’t just pointless, it actually exacerbated the problem. Hello, Rocky Raccoon Eyes. I had heard good things about this Ilia Vitamin C Serum Concealer, so I thought what’s the worst that could happen?

Well, the first time I tried it, I thought yes, this is the worst that could happen. To paraphrase Bridget Jones, it was like I had smeared the entirety of the white cliffs of Dover under my eyes. The product was pretty pricey, though, so I didn’t want to give up just yet. I tried again, applying immediately after I had put on my Ordinary Caffeine Solution; it worked like a charm, blending nicely AND de-puffing my undereyes.

Here’s me at 4:15 in the morning, completely makeup-and-product-free:

And a few hours later, de-puffed and “brightened” under the eyes:

Who Cares About Eyebrows?

For those of you whose eyebrows lived through the late Nineties, and all the plucking that occurred, I see you. I feel you. I am you. I was born with super-thick Brooke Shields-like eyebrows, that due to my youthful obsession back then with being eyebrow-current, have been decimated. Some of you may recall when I was eyebrow-shamed on Instagram, but at any rate, my eyebrows are patchy at best, and also still like to suddenly sprout thick dark hairs just above my eyelid or below my hairline, randomly, without any thought to where eyebrows actually are. To top it off, I have some individual eyebrow hairs that are going white, and if you think I am going to pluck those white hairs and add to the general patchy mayhem that is my eyebrow area, you have another think coming.

The white eyebrow hairs are what caused me to look beyond my little beloved brow pencil, and into Cover Girl Easy Breezy Brow. It’s easy! It’s breezy! It works like a little mascara, but for your eyebrows!

A word of warning if you buy this: scrape the brush off really well before use, and use a VERY light touch for a natural look. The first time I tried it, it came out a little globby and when I tried to fix it, I ended up making it much, much worse. I do not understand the mechanics here. When I wash my face at night, the product disappears, but if I try to wipe it off either with a soap-and-water-moistened tissue or an actual cleansing wipe, it makes my eyebrows look like they belong to Uncle Leo. How or why I cannot say, but I have learned my lesson.

All I Need Is A Miracle

I think this is an Aging Thing, but it is also a Winter In Calgary thing: my nails are a crumbling mess. This doesn’t happen in the summer and didn’t happen in my youth, but this is what my nails look like without any polish:

Yikes. I have been adding Sally Hansen Miracle Cure as a base coat, before polish and top coat, and it has REALLY helped. I think that nothing can really combat Calgary’s frigid desert air, but it tries.

Outfit of the Month

Other than the last couple of days, when we got a pile of snow and it’s been in the minus 20s, it has been a pretty mild February. I have only been wearing my really heavy sweaters this week; the rest of the month have been Light Sweater Days. Light sweaters, layered onto long-sleeve tees and, on teaching days like this one, yoga tanks. So, a light sweater with two other layers, that sounds like a Mild Calgary Winter!

This long tunic sweater dates from 2014 or 2015; it is from long-defunct-but-much-missed Jacob. The boots are my “light” boots, and the legwarmers are my “light” legwarmers. Those yoga pants are BRAND NEW (brand new being relative, I think I bought them in 2019, but they FEEL new).

A very, very common aspect of perimenopause, and one which I am experiencing, is a softer, rounder tummy. There are a plethora of articles about the dangers of what I am going to call A Little Around The Middle, and even more articles about ways to eliminate it, but you know what? I am not worried. I am not going to eat less than I do currently, or change my way of eating, and I am not going to exercise any more than I already do. I am strong, I am in the best cardiovascular shape of my life, and I also like my weekly dessert and red wine. If my tummy is a little softer and rounder than it used to be, well, so be it. I am going to OWN it. LOVE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN! And also, I am going to enjoy my long, loose sweaters and my elastic-waisted yoga pants. Therefore, this is my outfit of the month, and I love it. I feel great in it, I can remove the sweater and boots to teach in it, I can curl up on the couch and read in it. What more could I ask for?

Those are my Favourite Things this month – whew, there were a lot of them! But I’m celebrating me and what I look like right now. We have all been told our whole lives that we are not enough, we don’t look good enough, there is something wrong with our bodies or our faces, and I am here to tell you that is complete bullshit. You are beautiful, I am beautiful, changing bodies and faces are beautiful, soft tummies are beautiful. Let’s love the skin we are in. If you have any favourites this month, why don’t you share them with me? I’d love to hear all about them. xo

Call Me! On The Line! Call Me Any Any Any Time!

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Last Wednesday I woke up refreshed and invigorated; I just knew it was going to be a good day. I had a vigorous and energizing yoga practice followed by a workout, I had fifty dollars worth of PC points to use at my weekly Superstore grocery shop, and I was looking forward to my monthly phone call that afternoon with my soul sister Janet (HI JANET). We catch up via phone when we can’t see each other in person; she is a Battery Charge Person, and I look forward to our chats.

I dropped my son at school, who apologized to me for running a few minutes behind schedule. No matter! Things are not as they were at the height of the pandemic, when lineups outside the grocery store past opening time were typical and the grocery store itself felt fraught and depressing. I was thinking about how far we’ve come in nearly three years, smiling to myself as I noticed the plethora of fresh produce. What a gift! I thought, looking at the ten dollar strawberries. We get all this fruit in the middle of winter and it’s so beautiful! I noticed that the mushrooms, for the first time in weeks were not shaggy or slightly slimy-looking, but instead perfectly fresh and firm. Romaine lettuce was five dollars for a three-pack of hearts, which a year ago would have seemed expensive but now seemed like the best deal anyone could ask for. It was what I like to call Scottish Valentine’s Day, and instead of just the usual Kinder Surprise or low-end chocolates, there were boxes of heart shaped Lindors discounted. Lindors! Discounted! There were no shortages of any item I was looking for, even Advil, and then when I went to check out, my favourite cashier, Susan, was there. What a day to be alive, I thought.

My mood continued as I took Rex for his long walk; during the walk he kept alternating looking up at me and smiling with running and rolling merrily in the crusty, dingy, solidified snow. It was so joyful. I did not encounter the nasty man who, the week earlier, had taken his female dog who was in heat to the offleash park, and who yelled at me for having an offleash male dog. An offleash neutered male dog. In the offleash park. Who, I may add, was running in large circles adjacent to the in-heat dog, and not bothering her in any way. Anyway, that man was not there and Rex played happily with other sweet, if much smaller, dogs, and I chatted briefly with their lovely, pleasant owners.

I got home just in time to grab the laundry out of the dryer, so I could fold it while chatting with Janet. I called her and I could hear her pick up, but I couldn’t hear her talk. Huh. I ended the call and tried back. It was the same thing, but now Janet was texting me saying that she could hear me talking, saying hello hello are you there over and over.

After a few more futile attempts, we decided to FaceTime, which I don’t love but needs must, sometimes. At the end of our call I called my husband, who was working at home, thinking that maybe something was wrong with Janet’s phone, but just to check.

It was the same issue, but worse: now he couldn’t hear me and I couldn’t hear him.

My husband then told me his company had asked all employees to update their phones; there was an important IOS security update. Oh! Problem solved, I thought. I updated the phone and restarted and the phone worked again. I called to make a few appointments and felt just fine about life.

Around 4:30, one of my sons called, and I could not hear him. He texted me “I can hear you, can’t you hear me? I’m working overtime, can dinner be at 7?”

I was feeling Extremely Frustrated. I restarted the phone. I force-closed the app. I toggled the airplane mode on and off, just like a google search had told me to do. These were temporary fixes, they would work briefly and then not at all. I kept trying, and then I accidentally deleted the phone app.

My phone now did everything under the sun but work as an actual phone.

Now, I don’t know if you have ever deleted something as essential to a phone as a phone app, but it is not as easy to replace on the home screen as you might think. It’s not like other apps where you can just zip into the app store and replace it. It took over an hour of dedicated trying to get the little icon back on the home screen, and once it was back on the home screen, it still did not work. I felt like I was losing my mind. I powered off my phone, took some melatonin, and went to bed.

The next day I woke up, drank some coffee, and started my daily pre-yoga readings. This was one of them:

OKAY BOOK OF AWAKENING, I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING HERE.

Perspective! No one was ill, or dying. This was not any kind of tragedy, having a phone-less phone. It was, at worse, a mild irritation. At this point, I thought what is the worst case scenario, here? And that was, if my phone continued to mysteriously not work, I could take it to the Genius Bar, or I could…get a new phone. As my husband has been continuously pointing out, this is not a new phone, despite my protests that we “just bought it.” Objectively, we did not JUST BUY IT: even though the pandemic has completely obliterated our sense of time, time has still passed. The phone was purchased in 2019 and it was an outdated model even then.

Later that evening, my husband asked if my phone was working again, and I answered that I didn’t know. I went the whole day without trying, perhaps thinking that it would magically fix itself. Reader, it did not. At this point my husband started up his work laptop, typing furiously. His employer has a special employee purchase plan and, at some point this week, I am going to have a new phone that will, once again, function to make phone calls.

How very exciting and how very fortunate. The whole incident made me recall the days in which calling someone on the phone was the only way to communicate with friends, other than passing notes in class. Oh, the days of stretching the curly phone cord as far as it would go to have hours-long phone conversations until my dad lost his mind (WHAT CAN YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT FOR SO LONG?) and we had to get call-waiting so that the line wouldn’t be tied up for hours on end. And now, here I am, thirty-five years later, ruining my whole day because I could only use texts, Facetime, messenger, and email to communicate with anyone at any time. My goodness. I kind of want to slap my own face, but instead, I’ll just be pleased at the prospect of a new phone with a really cool camera. Remember the days when we’d think oh, I wish I had a camera right now? Similarly to the long curly phone cord, those days are gone, gone with the wind.

Weekly Reading

Butts: A Backstory. What a peachy read! This was so incredibly interesting, even if it sounds a bit silly: the examination of society and it’s obsession with butts. Specifically, women’s butts. It’s a fascinating read, starting with the horrific treatment of Sarah Baartman, and the rise of the bustle, to Buns of Steel, J Lo and Kim K, Sir Mix-a-lot, and twerking. There’s a section on how women’s pants are sized, if you’ve ever wondered why pants don’t fit well. Until relatively recently, clothes were made to fit individual people; sizing as we know it now is a relatively new phenomenon. Clothing manufacturers took a page out of the army’s book and just decided to measure a thousand women – all white women, crucially – and then take the average. It worked for the army! Except that women’s bodies have so much more variation than men’s. Clothing is made to fit an arbitrary average, which, as we all know from rudimentary math, is not meant to fit anyone really. Therefore, if you find yourself frustrated with trying to find the perfect pair of pants, know that it’s not YOU. It’s the pants. There is, unsurprisingly since I just mentioned Sarah Baartman, an incredible amount of racism in our fascination with the old badonkadonk, and this book was very enlightening and informative. I really enjoyed it. I had heard this author on the Forever 35 podcast; if you’re a podcast listener you may want to listen to the interview.

The Dream Builders. On it’s surface, this book is about an American-backed condominium complex being built in a city in India (a T**** Towers, to be exact), and the people whose daily lives are affected by this construction in one way or another. Beneath the surface, it’s so much more: a new kind of colonialism, globalization, poverty, caste, and the interconnections between all people. It’s an incredibly written book from so many different viewpoints, and I found myself very touched and moved by the stories and struggles. It was a book that really showcased the theme that we never really know what’s going on in someone else’s life. We might see their highlights, we might see the shell of their outward appearance, but we cannot know everything a person has been through or is experiencing. I was told about this book by my friend Maya (HI MAYA); the author is a friend of hers. Can I claim this talented author as MY friend, in a secondhand, six-degrees-of-separation way? No, I can’t, but I will be eagerly anticipating more from this author!

I hope you all have a wonderful week! Today is a holiday here – it’s Family Day! – and we had a lovely Saturday night visiting my parents at the lake. The weather is supposed to take a turn for the very cold, so Rex will be happy. My older son, who is working outside this week on the days that are forecasted to be the very coldest, might be less so. xo

Happy Galentine’s Day!

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It’s February 13, and you know what that means!

Happy Galentine’s Day!

I don’t know what it’s like in your house, but in mine, Valentine’s Day is kind of a non-event. Not a total non-event; we do celebrate with cookies:

And cake:

But other than baked goods and the tank top decorated with a bee and the words Bee Mine that my husband gave me one year, we really don’t celebrate it around here. If you know me at all, you would know that the bee top won me over for years to come, although I am still waiting on the I Choo-Choo-Choose you card.

So there’s no big romantic dinner (on a Tuesday, are you crazy?), and wine mid-week disrupts my sleep; my husband and son have pollen allergies so floral bouquets are a no-go as well. I could really get down with heart-shaped chocolates, although I usually like to buy them discounted on February 15. What can I say, I’m half-Scottish. We spent Friday night watching a special on Super Bowl commercials, and Saturday watching only the funny parts and fast-forwarding the rest of Old School, so who’s winning at romance now?

I do like to lean into the idea of GALENTINE’S Day, though. Last year at this time I vowed I would host a Swistle-style Galentine’s party (HI SWISTLE), but I remembered that vow only a few days ago, so that was a no-go. Next year, maybe. Instead, I put together a bunch of silly classroom cards for my Monday afternoon ladies, and taped a strawberry Lindor to each one. If you have never tried a strawberry Lindor, my goodness, you are in for a big treat. If you like fruity chocolate, that is, which I do.

For Christmas I received a new Garmin watch, and one of the new features on it is a “Body Battery,” which uses metrics like heart rate, stress levels, and sleep quality to measure the body’s energy reserves throughout the day. I am OBSESSED. I used to focus on Steps and Intensity Minutes, but now it’s all about the Body Battery, baby. Well, I still look at Steps and Intensity Minutes, but other than hitting my daily goals, I don’t really care much. With the Body Battery measurement, it’s fascinating to me to see my energy levels go up and down, and what affects them. If I read for an hour, what happens? If I walk for an hour, what happens? It’s not like I need data from a watch to tell me that I’m tired or refreshed, but it’s nice to have that confirmation, if you know what I mean.

Here’s the reading after a decent sleep:

And a not-great-but-not-terrible sleep:

And here’s a Friday night sleep, after I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine:

Oops! Well, the cost/ benefit analysis still comes up in favour of Friday night wine, as it is a treat I look forward to, but everything has its price, I guess.

In terms of batteries, and recharging them, I sometimes think of people in this way. There are people who I feel literally energized after talking to or visiting with, and there are those who I can feel my battery draining away in their presence. It’s not that I dislike those people, or never want to see them, but I do limit my time around them, and bring awareness to myself and how I’m feeling when I am around them.

In a Charge My Battery move, I signed up for my friend Sara’s (HI SARA) yoga event at a local art gallery. This is the first led yoga class, not taught by me, that I have attended since 2018. Sara has a thriving online teaching presence, but every few months she has an in-person event and the stars lined up for me this weekend, and I was able to attend.

Let me tell you, what a treat it was. My daily practice and, obviously, the classes I teach are all set by me; I flow through my own cadence and breathwork and asana. What a treat it was to follow along with the nourishing, delicious class of asana Sara put together! If you’re local – or even if you’re not, because she’s online! – you should really check out her classes. Rumour has it that her sweet dog Alton is always on or near the mat during her online classes.

I’m sure this guy would love to be on my mat too! But he’s still sleeping when I’m practicing.

Weekly Reading

I didn’t really make any New Year’s Resolutions, or choose a word of the year, or what have you, but after reading that nightmare of a book back in late December and regretting the time wasted in reading it, I have decided to just…not finish books if I don’t want to. Generally I push through, thinking maybe it will get better, and you know what, it rarely does. Why am I wasting my time? NO MORE. So far this year I have picked up and then immediately taken back to the library four books. The first was Something Wilder, by Christina Lauren. I have liked and not liked their books in the past, and I read the prologue and the book jacket before deciding that this one was not for me. The second was The Opportunist, which I had picked up on a whim at the library, and by the first chapter I was completely irritated by the characters. The third was a book that is actually quite good, but that I realized I had read before, in August 2020, which is When You Read This. Does that happen to you? I will start a book and by the first or second chapter I will think wait a minute…and then I’ll check my spreadsheet and see that yes, I’ve been there and done that. So, there was nothing wrong with When You Read This, but if I’m going to reread something, I want it to be on purpose. The final Did Not Finish Or Even Start was Matthew Perry’s memoir. I do not, as a rule, enjoy addiction memoirs, and by flipping through it casually I could see that it was ENTIRELY about his addictions. Also, after reading a paragraph here and there I saw that it was trying really hard to be funny, and I decided not to waste my time.

Anyway, I had some real winners this week in the reading department. In what can only be described as Library Kismet, all the books that came in on my hold list this week were romances. Does the library know it’s Valentine’s Day? Maybe!

The Bodyguard. Well! This was just the most delightful read! It was exactly what I needed this week. The plot, while a little silly, is just so much fun and I am 100% here for it. It follows a woman who works as a specialized bodyguard, and she is put on duty to guard a Chris Hemsworth-like movie star from a stalker, as he has moved to Texas to be near his ill mother. He doesn’t want knowledge about the stalker to add stress to his family, so the bodyguard needs to be undercover; she has to pretend to be his new girlfriend. PEOPLE. I AM HERE FOR THIS. I think we all know what happens in romance books when there is a pretend relationship – SHIT GETS REAL, Y’ALL. I can’t say enough about this cute book, because although, like I said, the plot is a little silly, the theme is REALLY good and heartwarming, and the epilogue, my goodness, the epilogue. A delight. The narration and dialogue are really funny, too. If you need a pick-me-up, go get yourself this book, stat.

In A New York Minute. Oh my gerrrrrrd this was SO MUCH FUN TO READ! I am dying! It’s such a good romance – it starts with the worst day ever: a layoff, a sweaty subway ride, a wardrobe malfunction to end all wardrobe malfunctions. Listen, while carrying the box from her desk after being laid off, her dress catches in the subway and completely rips down the back, leaving her as exposed to the New York commute rush as wearing a hospital gown. And someone is live-streaming it onto Instagram stories. A stranger comes to her sartorial rescue – but the two are opposites. OPPOSITES YOU GUYS, I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN. It’s such a romp and I never say this, because I generally deeply dislike when books are adapted for the screen, but if this was made into a movie, I’d watch it. The happens to be cohost of one of my fave podcasts, Forever 35. If you love joy and happiness and warm fuzzy feelings, I recommend both book and podcast! 

Nora Goes Off Script. Well, with this, I am 3/3 for incredible romance novels this week! This was so good; a screenwriter’s home is the set for her movie, and the leading man stays on for a while after to rest and recharge. He settles into her routine as a single mom, and they end up having an affair. This takes twists that I did not see coming, and was a delightful mix of “I am woman hear me roar” and heart warming romance. Oh, and by the way, the screenwriter is a Hallmark-movie style screenwriter who makes it big with a different style of script, and I was here for it. A Hallmark-type-book with a twist, about a Hallmark-movie-writer with a twist! I loved it. 

Happy Galentine’s Day, my friends, and may your Valentine’s Day be filled with self-love and battery recharging. May your February 15 be filled with half-price chocolates. xo

Living La Vida Loca

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Well, it finally happened: one of my sons came home AFTER I had gotten up for the day. It was only a matter of time before we became ships passing in the night, but the reason for the lateness was so ridiculous that it could have only happened to a teenage boy.

The boys went to a movie with friends on Thursday night; my younger son and his buddies did not have school on Friday because why would they have a full week of school after a three-week exam break and, before that, winter break? My older son didn’t have a shift the next day, so they headed to the movies after I went to bed, i.e., 8:30.

I got up to use the bathroom at 3:00 and noticed that while my younger son’s door was closed, indicating he was home and sleeping, my older son’s was not. Weird, I thought, Is he up playing VIDEO GAMES? He hasn’t done that in a very long time. I peeked outside and his car wasn’t there. I noticed a note in the kitchen, left by my younger son. The note indicated that my older son was waiting with his friend for a tow truck to come for his friend’s car. “EVERYONE IS SAFE” my son had written on the note, circling it several times, god bless.

A few things to note: I know of at least three of my sons’ friends who have crashed their cars on snowy and icy roads, and this particular friend was one of them. I also know of their friends with unreliable vehicles; my younger son regaled me with a story about one friend’s car that stalled out on an extremely busy six-lane thoroughfare, and the three passengers – my son included – had to push it off to the side and do some emergency work to get it moving again. Since my son had indicated that everyone was safe, I assumed hopefully that the situation was more like the latter than the former. In any case, I went back to bed, where I dozed fitfully.

By the time I had gotten up for the day, 75 minutes later, my son still hadn’t arrived, at which point I called him. They were still waiting for a tow, the vehicle was stuck in the snow, everything was fine. Okay.

I did some writing, drank some coffee, and started my yoga practice. Still no son. He finally came home at 5:45, exhausted, to me on the yoga mat and my husband losing his mind over the irresponsibility of youth, when it was revealed that the vehicle stuck in the snow was stuck in the snow in a school field (HOW DID YOU GET INTO A FIELD IS YOUR CAR OKAY WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOUR FRIENDS). I was pretty calm though; the driver is a strict non-drinker, my son’s car was not involved, no one was hurt, there was no damage at all, even to the vehicle in question. It turns out that after the movie and McDonalds, the group got the brilliant idea to drive through the junior high school field in his friend’s MOM’S SUV. To top things off, while on the field the driver thought it would be fun to drive on to the outdoor skating rink, which is surrounded by mounds of snow from where the rink had been shovelled clear. This is where the brilliant plan fell apart, the front wheels on the ice, the SUV bottomed out on the snow, the back tires wedged into the field snow.

Why this seemed like a good idea to anyone, no one can say, but hours of shovelling and wedging boards underneath the tires and even having a couple of passing-by twentysomethings helping, while they (probably drunkenly) laughed hysterically proved futile, and they phoned for a tow. The reason my son stayed was because it was his phone they used – the driver’s phone had died. By the time the tow truck arrived it was discovered that a) the emergency plan did not cover a vehicle not on a legal roadway, and b) they didn’t have a winch to pull it out, so nothing could be done.

In my recent Ask Me Anything, Elisabeth (HI ELISABETH) asked: If one of your sons was about to get married/ enter a long term relationship, what would be your number one piece of advice? Other than stay on legal roadways, I would say that a couple should be in sync for the Big Things. My husband and I differ in many ways and those ways do not bother me much: he eats meat and I do not, he prefers puzzles that are super-difficult and I like the kinds that have lots of individual pictures to work on, he likes TV shows about gold mining in Alaska and people training for the Special Forces whereas I would rather read a book. But on the Big Things – money and raising kids being the top two – we agree. Sometimes, though, our end result is the same but our journey is different, and that is exactly the case for this late night school field caper. My feeling was Alls-Well-That-Ends-Well-What-Have-We-Learned, whereas my husband was WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING YOU IDIOTS DO NOT EVER DO SOMETHING THIS STUPID AGAIN. We get to the same place, but we take a different road to get there.

Part of my calmness stems from the fact that I remember very well what it was like to be young. I very much recall, when I was about sixteen or so, visiting my cousins in the summer and, after we got bored of driving up and down the main drag of their small town for what seemed like hours, we drove through farmer’s fields. Why? Who knows. I also remember being in the car with two girlfriends, and one of them said “Oh, turn right here,” at which point the driver turned right there, as in, into a grassy park, as opposed to turning right at the next possible right-hand turn. Imagine, if you will, three screaming sixteen-year-old girls, in a car stuck in the grass. I don’t remember exactly how we got the car out but it felt harrowing at the time.

Lisa (HI LISA) asked: Is there a stage of parenting you especially loved or loathed? What advice would you give to someone in the earlier stages of parenting like me? I actually have not loathed any stages of parenting; I have enjoyed them all but I will say that my enjoyment has increased as they have gotten older. There are times when I think with affection back to their cute, chubby baby and toddler selves, but I do remember how much physical work it was just to leave the house. I loved their school years and their preteen years, despite the angst and the social and scholastic navigating that had to happen. I think I love the teen years best of all, even when they stay up all night doing stupid things, and even though in the first few months of driving I was on the edge of my seat whenever they were out.

Since I was asked, I will offer two pieces of parenting advice. The first is start now with open communication. I always wanted my kids to be able to talk to me without sneaking around, lying, or deception. It’s easier said than done when the kids admit to something you’re not happy with, like, for example, driving in a friend’s mom’s vehicle through a snowy field. Anyway. Around four years ago, my son was dating a girl who was, according to her parents, not allowed to date until she was 18. The solution to this problem is that she was telling her parents that she was out with girlfriends when she was out with my son. I mentioned this to a friend of mine who said “What? That’s unacceptable! You have to call those parents or tell your son she can’t see her until they are in the know!” Well. That is exactly what I DID NOT do. I wanted at least one adult to be informed, and that adult was going to be me. Forbidding or restricting teens will only blow up in your face, and it will ruin the parent-child relationship. I didn’t want my son to start lying to me about this relationship, so I just listened a lot until the relationship ran its course.

My second piece of advice is something that my friend Allison (HI ALLISON) said many years ago, in the context of chaperoning a field trip, but what I think is a valid process for any occasion: there will be a time after this. It’s a mantra that has gotten me through many times: from my own times of field trip chaperoning to parenting teens through a pandemic and online schooling. One day, I would think, I’ll remember this time as a time that has passed, and now we are in a different time. When things are tough, remember that; there will be a time after this.

Weekly Reading

Carnival of Snackery. I wanted to reread this, David Sedaris’ diaries from 2003-2020, after reading Happy Go Lucky, in which he revealed the disturbing nature of his father’s abuse. Having this information changed the reading experience for sure. There are many anecdotes about his father, and they really hit differently; instead of seeming like a mean-spirited buffoon, his father takes on a whole different persona. I love this book because I can see how some of his essays came about – Carol the fox makes an appearance, and so does his FitBit. It’s endlessly entertaining and often startling, against a changing social and political backdrop.

Bad Vibes Only. For the most part I really enjoyed this book of essays. A few of them didn’t resonate, but for the most part I found these thoughtful and thought-provoking, balanced, and smart. I particularly liked the essays about body image, and I found myself gasping out loud about an essay about a child left in the backseat of a car, and parental judgement.

Convenience Store Woman. This was such an interesting little book about a woman who has always struggled to fit into normal society – until she finds a job at a convenience store, and is able to live with purpose and within defined parameters. But her single status is distressing to those around her, so she takes up with a man who is a grifter and who encourages her to quit to find a better paying job, with which to support him. It’s an unsettling commentary on societal expectations for women, but also a cheer for those who are not neurotypical, and a celebration of differences.

In other, non-human-teen news, Rex went to the groomer’s this week! Here’s the Before and After:

Look at this saucy pose.

We’re just driving on legal roadways, right?

Have a beautiful week, friends! xo

A Week In Nicole’s Kitchen

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It’s no secret that, when it comes to routines, I am a Very Structured Person. I like a routine, I like knowing what the day will bring, and to that end, I like having a Weekly Dinner Plan. This Weekly Dinner Plan consists of pretty much the same meals in rotation week after week, although there are some variations within the plan. I wrote about this in February and March of 2019 – four years ago! – but I had the idea to write about it again after reading a post by Engie (HI ENGIE) about the daily decisions we all make. Most of the commenters said their most loathed daily decision was the answer to the question what should we have for dinner, and I realized that is a decision I do not make. Or rather, I have made the decision once, and now I just don’t even think about it.

This isn’t something that would work for everyone – it’s not the most exciting way to eat – but for our family, knowing what dish will show up on which evening is a source of comfort and stability. Monday is Pasta Night! Tuesday we have stir-fry! I’ve been sticking to this schedule for so long that when I change it – having wraps on a Tuesday, for example – everyone is a bit disoriented. Is it Tuesday? Or is it Thursday? NO ONE KNOWS.

One thing to note: when it comes to recipes, I don’t really use any. Or if I do, I use them as a very rough outline, and just add or subtract anything that comes to mind. Even with baking, I generally change the original recipe, sometimes so much that it’s almost unrecognizable.

I think when a household contains more than one person, there is always going to be some compromising on flavours or ingredients in any dinner. I am, of course, plant-based, but the guys are not. I do prepare meat, but almost all of the meals are plant-based, with meat as a side, as opposed to the meals I grew up with, which were mostly centred around meat. Did you know that for four years I had a whole job based on this concept, of plant-based and meat-eaters living in harmony? If you don’t know, now you know.

This is an outline of all the dinners, baking, and desserts that I made in a week, and this is a pretty typical week. Everyone is on their own for breakfasts and lunches, although I do often pull together a lunch for my younger son to take to school, depending on his scholastic and wrestling schedule.

A Week In Nicole’s Kitchen

Monday

As I mentioned, Monday is Pasta Night, and typically we have some kind of whole-wheat pasta with sundried tomato sauce. Occasionally I will make a creamy sauce from roasted garlic, cashews, and tofu, as my younger son does not like tomatoes, and I feel a bit bad that he resorts to butter and parmesan on his pasta on tomato-based nights. Also, I love creamy non-dairy sauces. This week, though, I made a penne alla vodka, using cashews for creaminess.

I don’t think that pasta alone is filling enough, so I roast vegetables to go along with it, usually two or three cauliflower, depending on their size. One of those pans is JUST for me. What can I say, I can really pack away the cauliflower. I am extremely price-inelastic when it comes to cauliflower; my mother-in-law was absolutely horrified when I told her that in January I have been known to pay $10/ head of cauliflower. When it is not available, I resort to zucchini.

The guys get meatballs, baked in the oven, with this dish, except when I make the above-mentioned cream sauce. On those evenings, I serve peas, as well as cauliflower.

I like a lot of sauce! I need the excess sauce to dip my cauliflower into.

Tuesday

This Tuesday was a busy one, kitchen-wise. I baked banana mini-muffins, which are based on a recipe from the Lutheran Ladies’ Family Favourites, a cookbook my mom gave me when I moved out which features lovely baked goods but truly disturbing main dish recipes.

I always made mini-muffins when the boys were little, and now for this recipe, a riot ensues if I try to make regular sized muffins. All other muffins are regular sized but these? MINI ONLY. I make banana bread and muffins frequently, so I always have containers of overripe bananas in the freezer, usually in groups of three, which is what my recipes tend to call for. I just thaw the bananas and voila! They look disgusting but work wonders.

I had some extra time so I made the boys’ favourite ice cream, mint with fudge swirl.

For dinner we had stir-fry; Wednesdays are Grocery Days, and so I like to use up all the produce on Tuesday, in a stir-fry format. I have many different stir-fry iterations; on this night I made some teriyaki sauce roughly based on Vegan Richa’s recipe, and served the veggies with basmati rice and pan-fried tofu, sprinkling cashews on top for extra protein.

Wednesday

Wednesday is typically Pizza Night; I use pitas for the crust, and everyone can have whatever they want on theirs. I make a couple of extras for the boys’ lunches the next day; cold pizza is a favourite of theirs. I like a pesto pizza with tons of mushrooms and tomato.

Pizza by itself isn’t very filling, in my opinion, so I make a big veggie plate to go with it.

Thursday

My meals get much less elaborate as the week goes on, and I get tired. Thursdays are usually wraps, with the occasional Taco Night. This week I did serve wraps; the guys get sautéed chicken, I get an avocado, and then I slice up peppers and tomatoes to go with.

Ah, a perfectly ripe avocado! A thing of beauty.

Friday

Friday is my favourite day of the week; everything about Friday feels celebratory.

All of the muffins disappeared, so I baked a pumpkin loaf using the sweetest homemade pumpkin puree, gifted to me by my lovely dear friend Taryn (HI TARYN).

As I mentioned earlier this week, my Number One Favourite Meal is Greek salad with hummus and pita, and so I like to make it for my Number One Favourite Day. In the spirit of full disclosure, I want to note that I also put chicken breasts in the air fryer for the guys, and I make a coleslaw – using a prepackaged salad mix and bottled dressing – for my tomato-hating son. Both the chicken and coleslaw are pretty much zero effort, and are greatly appreciated.

I add 1/5 of a block of tofu (I freeze tofu in 1/5 blocks for this exact purpose) to add creaminess.

This photo makes me happy. I love a Glass Or More of wine on Friday nights too; this was a gorgeous Zinfadel. I had a couple of glasses and then my son, who has a fancy cocktail recipe book, fixed me a lovely drink. In passing the next day, he casually mentioned that the drink he had made was a triple, which really explains why I fell asleep on the couch watching Bullet Train with the guys. Who am I kidding, I would have fallen asleep regardless, alcohol or no alcohol.

Saturday

Saturday is Wild Card Night! I have a wide variety of standbys, but also, if I am going to try a new dish, it will likely be on Saturday. I figure out a meal based on what we have in the house; this week I went with an old favourite, Buddha bowl. The brilliance of a Buddha bowl is that you can add any kind of vegetables or grains. Literally anything goes. I roasted up broccoli, peppers, sweet potatoes, and cauliflower.

I also roasted chickpeas and lentils for crunch and protein.

I added this to quinoa and edamame, plus a vinaigrette based on an Oh She Glows recipe.

Sunday

Sunday dinner is the only meal that is centred around meat: during the winter, I make a roast with gravy on Sundays. Don’t cry for me, Argentina, my side dish game is very strong! I made crispy roasted potatoes with garlic and dried chives from my garden, roasted kalettes (THEY ARE STILL IN THE STORE! THEY ARE STILL IN THE STORE! HALLELUJAH!), a kale Caesar using a dressing recipe from Cheap Lazy Vegan (shout-out to Birchy for the recommendation, HI BIRCHY), and a roasted broccoli dish that ENDS all roasted broccoli dishes. All other roasted broccoli dishes can just GO HOME. The broccoli is roasted and then tossed in a lemony Caesar-inspired dressing, and sprinkled with toasted breadcrumbs, and it is incredible.

No Sunday dinner is complete without dessert, and this week I took a break from cake baking to make a triple berry crisp.

So there it is, a week of meals that we all love. Every single thing was made with this guy at my feet:

He has a really uncanny knowledge of exactly where I need to be in the kitchen, and then lies down there. Luckily, I’m flexible.

I should probably note that cooking for a houseful of hungry guys, particularly teen boys who work out a lot, is incredibly gratifying. Every meal I make is The Best Meal Ever, This Dinner Is So Good, Mom, Thanks For Dinner, Nicole. As Ma Ingalls always said modestly, Hunger is the best sauce, which, true, but also, I think all these meals are really delicious. And they also have lots of literal sauce, which is my favourite part of a meal.

What did you have for dinner this week? Anything outstanding? Anything delicious? Tell me everything. xo