Monthly Archives: November 2016

Nicole’s Favourite Things: It’s The Little Things Edition

Posted on by

We said goodbye to my father-in-law this week. He passed away after a long illness and will be very much missed. To many people he was a larger-than-life character, the life of the party, a legend, but to me he was the man who welcomed me into the family with open arms. He and I spent a lot of time sitting together on the deck, sipping Palm Bay and chatting. Sometimes we would just sit in companionable silence.

So it’s been a sad and stressful few weeks. Have you ever noticed that when you’re having a sad and stressful time, it’s the little things that do you in? Silly things like discovering that the boys’ non-jean-pants were all three inches too short, and that I accidentally put a hole in my brand-new black medical grade support stockings were enough to make me want to curl up in a ball on the floor. It’s funny how the little things can get you down when there is a world of much bigger things going on.

But just like little things can get you down, little things can also lift you up, and so I’m concentrating on all the happy, joyful, and ridiculous things that are going on in my world, right now.

How Much Are The Posters

It feels like a lifetime ago, but the Book Fair was just last week and we raised $3600 for the school library, as well as the ELL and home reading programs. Even more notably, the New Book Fair Lady did it all herself – I only had to work a couple of shifts and count money – and she did a fabulous job (HI HAYDEE). This is my second last book fair, and, happily for me, the shifts I worked were extremely poster heavy. It seemed everyone wanted a poster, but more importantly, they wanted to know how much were the posters. Haydee had put up signs all around and yet I was asked the question an incredible amount of times. Perhaps Scholastic has been reading this blog, because they sent three times as many posters as they normally do, and so not only was I asked was the kitten poster five dollars too, what about the one with doughnuts on it, and the one with Rey from Star Wars, was that five dollars too, I also had to search through three giant boxes to find the appropriate one. Not that I’m complaining. I’m going to miss those questions one day. Maybe.

posters

Notice the slightly passive-aggressive wording – “EACH!” – at the bottom. Yes, each. Each poster is, in fact, five dollars.

 

A Celebration of Superior Workmanship

My friend Lynn (HI LYNN) wrote a post wondering if shopping at Costco does indeed save you money, and oh, Lynn. How much time do we have? Not enough. In short, I shall direct you to my post from nearly three years ago, The Stages of Costco, which is something all of us membership holders need to go through. I STILL have the plastic wrap I refer to in that post from January 2014.

But what I really wanted to talk about was the fellow who packed my cart, the last time I was there. In the spirit of there are no small parts, only small actors, I appreciate very much when someone puts their all into their job, no matter what that job might be. And so I say bravo to the Costco employee who packed my cart in such an amazingly efficient way that I not only complimented him on a job well done, but also pointed it out to the elderly fellow who checked my bill upon leaving. Longtime readers might be amused to know that the bill-checker at the door was the same one who flirts with me by saying that redheads are his favourite, and he loves my smile. Aw. Flirting with elderly men while shopping for groceries is my favourite too!

Look at this cart! It’s a thing of beauty. Well done, sir. Well done.

cart cart2 cart3

Sailors Take Warning

This time of year can be a wee bit depressing, what with the sun setting at 4:30 in the afternoon and not rising until after eight in the morning. But occasionally the sunrise will make up for it all. Now, even in the midst of summer I am up before the sunrise, but there’s something about the cold winter morning sunrise. The other day the entire world was bathed in pink – sidewalks, frosty lawn, it was all pink.

img_6097

img_6098

Do I Need A Title?

I have been very very good about not buying myself anything since Kondo-ing my house, but I am still of the old-school people who use paper agendas, daytimers, and calendars. While I was Christmas shopping a few weeks ago, I saw this and decided I needed it to hang by my desk for 2017.

img_6092

We learn from the horses, people. Strength does NOT come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will. Let us all learn from the yogi horses.

Usually I have a Canadian landscape calendar by my desk, but that was before I knew about Horse Yoga.

Get Your Asana In Gear

I am a mere 36 hours away from becoming a Registered Yoga Teacher, and to celebrate, my husband bought me two t-shirts. I wore this one to Yoga for Stroke Survivors yesterday, a class my friend Sharyl (HI SHARYL) has been teaching, and that she has graciously allowed me to assist with.

img_6133

Honestly, it is my New Favourite Shirt Of All Time.

New Toothpaste (Not An Ad Nor Sponsored)

You know what’s ballsy? Buying toothpaste at Costco. Well, let me rephrase that: buying NEW, UNTRIED toothpaste at Costco. It’s a real commitment; you could find yourself brushing your teeth for the next four months with sub-par toothpaste. I have done that before, suffered through a toothpaste flavour I abhorred just because I had four tubes to work my way through. Thinking of it now, I should have just donated to the drop-in centre or food bank, but hindsight is 20/20 people. Anyway, I usually buy a four pack of Crest 3D Whitening, because coffee, but I rolled the dice and purchased this:

toothpaste

It is like having my teeth massaged by minty fairies. It’s like having a haven of freshness and white teeth and unicorns and happiness, all in one little tube. I mean, do these look like the teeth of someone who regularly drinks 8 cups of coffee each morning, plus red wine on the weekends?

img_6091

Ah, it’s the little things. I have also been trying out a new eye cream, but that is a whole other post. For now, I’d like to know what little things make YOU happy? Tell me everything. xoxo

Comfort Reading

Posted on by

Last week I received a notice in my mailbox that on Friday – Remembrance Day – there would be work going on with our street’s sewer system, and between 8 and 4 we were all to drastically minimize our water usage. Our home sewer system could hold a small amount of drainage, but any extra use of water would result in our system backing up and sewage flooding our house. If there is a more effective way to discourage people from allowing waste water to go down the drain, I do not know what it is. Sewage flooding our house.

Two things: Does it seem strange to anyone else that major sewer work was scheduled on Remembrance Day? It seems kind of disrespectful, and also, kind of inconvenient being that the boys were home from school, and there was much panic from that corner, should someone in the house need to defecate. What to do! What to do! The boys came up with all kinds of solutions, including possibly walking over to the swimming pool and fitness centre specifically to use the washrooms. But, inconvenience and preteen panic aside, it seemed to me to be mostly disrespectful.

Secondly, in the manner of you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone, I really didn’t realize how much of my daily tasks result in waste water going down the drain. No washing dishes, no laundry…well, I guess that’s mostly it. Oh, no rinsing vegetables and fruit either. Is that really what takes up the bulk of my day? In any case, I seemed to have a lot of time on my hands.

Slight digression: while Christmas shopping last week, I saw a number of signs advertising “Remembrance Day Sale! 25% off everything in store!” Which…what? Remembrance Day SALE? What’s next? Lest We Forget, Buy One Get One Half Off? We Remember And We Have Great Deals In Store?

Moving on.

I have been comfort-reading for the past week. Has it been only a week? Anyway, for the past week I’ve been reaching for those warm, fuzzy, feel-good books on my shelf. My usual go-to is Diary of a Provincial Lady, but I had read it recently, so I am devouring my childhood favourites Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom. I have always loved Louisa May Alcott, and I probably have read those two, plus Little Women, fifty times each. LOVE.

I do admit to seeing them through very different eyes these days. If you have ever read anything about Alcott’s life, you will know that her father was very close with Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau, and he eventually left his teaching career to study philosophy. By that I mean that he walked away from a paying job to ONLY study philosophy and, I suppose, “live deliberately,” which resulted in, of course, financial ruin for the family. Alcott’s writings managed to get the family out of debt, along with a roof over their heads and food on the table. Thanks, Father. Reading Eight Cousins and Rose in Bloom, which centre around a beautiful, kind, philanthropic heiress, is a little sad when you think about that.

But they are great books, even if one of the central themes in Rose in Bloom is which cousin will Rose marry? I mean, it’s not even a subtle underlying theme; it is discussed often and in great detail. Guys, they’re first cousins, maybe you want to look outside the gene pool, rather than focus on keeping her extensive property in the family? However, weirdly incestuous courtships aside, there are some really nice warm and fuzzy messages in there, which is why it is one of my comfort books. For example:

“Ah! But we do know, and if our silence and civility have no effect, we ought to try something else and not encourage wickedness of any kind…Each must judge for herself. I shall follow Aunt Jessie’s advice and try to keep my atmosphere as pure as I can, for she says every woman has her own little circle and in it can use her influence for good, if she will.”

Of course, this conversation was about shunning a certain young man who was “wild” and “fast” – meaning, I guess, that he drank and was a little too handsy with the ladies – but I think that it can be applied in a broader sense. We should all follow Aunt Jessie’s advice, except maybe about the part about getting it on with one of our cousins.

Being Unikitty*

Posted on by

This morning I woke up feeling disheartened and stunned, but I’m taking this opportunity to practice compassion and understanding, even when I don’t understand, really. And, in the words of Eckhart Tolle: Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

We can change the world one step at a time. And with that, I will focus on what has been going on in my own world, over the past few days.

*********************************************

It is Day Three – DAY THREE – of having Please Come To Boston stuck in my head, and honestly, I don’t even know what to do anymore. It is taking over my life. How long will this continue?

Other than that, I have been KILLING my to-do list lately. November is the month I like to get the majority of my Christmas jobs done – shopping, cards, etc. – so that in December I can focus one hundred percent of my festive attention on baking things and watching Christmas specials and movies. In the past few days I’ve done the following: had our family photos taken and edited, ordered Christmas cards, put together and ordered photo calendars for the boys’ grandparents, finished Christmas shopping. I know! My schedule is pretty hectic over the next few weeks and so I was extremely motivated to get it all done.

Next week is the Book Fair. Have you noticed I haven’t even mentioned the Book Fair? Well, that’s because I have passed the reins to the amazing new coordinator (HI HAYDEE) and so I’m not even a little bit stressed. I only have two Book Fairs left, so I wonder if I’ll start getting emotional when the kids ask how much the posters are, or if they can eat that delicious looking eraser. I will keep you posted.

We have been having beautiful, absolutely unseasonably warm weather, and I love it. Any day in November that it’s not snowing or freezing is a day I will enjoy. Winter is long enough here, so I love any respite we get. If the obese squirrels busily scrounging in my yard are any indication, we are in for a long, cold one. I feel like Pa Ingalls, looking at an extra-thick muskrat den and then deciding to lay in an extra supply of hay. Barkley seems to think, even more than usual, that these pudgy little beacons of productivity are there as his personal buffet, and I have to be very vigilant with him. No one wants to clean up a squirrel corpse – or at least, I THINK no one does – and I especially do not want to deal with the digestive fallout associated with squirrel eating.

It is a glamourous life I lead.

Speaking of glamour, I have had so much spam and telemarketing phone calls lately. Several times a week my inbox is subject to really gross sounding pornographic emails, and I get at least one porny/ do-I-want-a-job-as-a-secret-shopper text a day. It’s probably a sign of our poor economic times that someone is always calling or knocking on my door. I never answer the door, by the way, unless I can clearly see it’s one of my neighbours. There is no upside to answering the door; at the very least someone is going to use pressure tactics to ask for money, and at the worst, I could get murdered.

But the phone calls I have been getting lately! I had one fellow phone me TWICE IN THE SAME DAY. I don’t know if he was just going through the phone book, or what, but he asked for both Mrs. My Last Name and Mrs. My Husband’s Last Name, which are obviously not the same last name. I always know it’s a telemarketer when I get Mrs. My Husband’s Last Name, but I will admit that I always, always, always hand the phone over to my husband when they ask for Mr. My Last Name. Yes, you MAY speak to Mr. My Last Name! I will say giddily, while my husband rolls his eyes at me and answers the phone with his “what the fuck do you want” tone.

Anyway, this guy who phoned me twice was representing a painting company, and he wanted to know if I wanted my house painted. Inside or out, he was happy to do either. Now, as far as cold-calling potential customers goes, this one strikes me as bizarre. Who makes a decision about house painting over the phone? Who doesn’t look for a recommendation from a friend, or at least on Facebook, for something like that? Besides which, would you really say yes to someone who called you to ask if he could paint your house? Does it not seem extremely imprudent to give out your address to someone who has called you on your landline because he allegedly has a painting company? Recipe for disaster/ being murdered/ getting robbed if there ever was one.

*****************************************

*Title inspired by my friend Maya (HI MAYA), the original Unikitty.

Keep on keeping on, my friends. xoxo

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Posted on by

I promise not to complain about the sheer futility of Daylight Saving Time, and the ending of Daylight Saving Time, and the ridiculousness that is the idea of Daylight Saving Time, and the fact that we are a mere two weeks away from the sun setting before 4:30 pm. I promise.

I have had the most bizarre song stuck in my head; it is Please Come To Boston. It’s somewhat obscure, and I do not know how it happened, but I have been singing You rambling boy why won’t you settle down, Boston ain’t your kind of town, there ain’t no gold and there ain’t nobody like mmmmeeeeeeeeeeee, ’cause I’m the number one fan of the man from Tennessee. Over and over. And with the very strong crescendo, which made my kids look at each other, alarmed and silent. A friend (HI ALLISON) who I saw at the yoga studio this afternoon helped me out for a few moments, by singing I am sixteen, going on seventeen, but alas, mere minutes later it was eclipsed by Please come to Boston, she said no, you come home to meeeeee. If this goes on much longer I may need to be medicated.

Saturday night I went to see Dr. Strange, which was the very last thing I wanted to do on Saturday night. Well, maybe not the very last; it was probably above “colonoscopy” but much, much below “binge-watching The Crown while drinking wine on the couch in my pajamas.” However, I am very happy to have seen it, because it was extremely entertaining, very funny, and the perfect length. Too many movies these days – she says, while shaking a grizzled, liver-spotted fist in the air – are at least thirty minutes too long. I highly recommend it, if you are a person who enjoys superhero movies. Even if you’re not, it’s still very fun.

I was feeling especially drained this weekend, after the eon that was last week, and seven and a half hours of teacher training on the weekend, which is why I wanted to just curl up at home on Saturday night. Friday, if you recall, I was chaperoning a field trip to the Olympic Oval. It wasn’t until we were actually at the Oval that I learned WHY we were there, and that was to watch the qualifying heats for the World Cup for Short Track Speed Skating. Did you know there was a World Cup for Short Track Speed Skating? Neither did I. But it was very fun, and I learned all sorts of interesting things, like Kazakhstan is quite a contender for Short Track, and also, the 500 metre event is absolute insanity. I kept waiting for someone to get killed, but it didn’t happen, happily.

The event was sponsored by an insurance company, and I am giving them a little bit of the side-eye. Since it was a qualifying event, the vast majority of spectators were all kids in Grades 5 and 6; hundreds of kids were there, with homemade flags and signs. The insurance company had thoughtfully provided each child with a gift bag, containing a water bottle, some very nicely done trading cards with photos of speed skaters on them, and TWO NOISEMAKERS; one that folded into an accordion and was used to make loud clapping sounds, and one that was a very loud kazoo. Imagine, if you will, an arena filled with hundreds of children aged 10-12, all armed with noisemakers. The noise was not to be described. Every time a Canadian set foot on the ice, the cheering and kazoo-ing got even louder, if that was even possible, bless those patriotic hearts.

The thing I did not know about speed skating is that there needs to be perfect silence prior to each heat, because any noise can trigger the starting gun and result in false starts. Think about that for a moment, if you will.

To be perfectly honest, the children were very good about this silence rule for the first little while, but kids will be kids and by the time the men’s 500 metre came up, there were a number of false starts and several warnings over the loudspeaker. I was pretty relieved by the time we packed it in, because things were starting to go off the rails a tiny bit. I was also relieved that Jake had somehow managed to break his kazoo-noisemaker.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

Is it time to panic yet?

Posted on by

My word, it has been a long week, hasn’t it? It feels like it should have been Friday for days now. It’s not over yet by any means; not only do I have a three hour class tonight, but in just over an hour I will be on a school bus, chaperoning a field trip to the Olympic Oval. I actually have no idea why we are going to the Oval, except that there is something to do with speed skating. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

So it’s been a long week but not a bad one by any means. In fact, many good things have happened this week. For example, I saw this:

kalekyle

Kyle MacLaughlin, dressed as a kale salad. I cannot even begin to describe how much I love Kyle/ Kale MacLaughlin. I’ve had a soft spot for him for years, even when he played Charlotte’s douchey, breast-obsessed, mommy’s-boy husband on Sex in the City. For one thing, he looks an awful lot like my own non-douchey, non-breast-obsessed, non-mommy’s-boy husband. It’s not just me saying that, either. His budget-backpack-travel youth coincided with the height of Twin Peaks, and while in Indonesia he posed for a lot of photos. I like to imagine the family photos which include my husband, in those houses.

Thursdays are my very busiest day of the week; they are pretty much a whirlwind of ceaseless activity. Yesterday, due in large part to my recent hair appointment, God bless my hair therapist, I had an AMAZING hair day. Usually my good hair days coincide with the days I don’t have anywhere to go or anything outside the house to do, and it feels like a waste. But I had a great hair day ON A THURSDAY. Miracles do happen, people. They happen every day. We just have to look for them.

goodhairday

This is not to say everything has been glorious this week. Today I broke a nail putting on my compression stockings, which says a lot about everything. Also, last night I witnessed a couple having a legit angry argument around the semantics of the word “shortage.”

Man: Hmm. There seems to be a shortage of eggs.

Woman: A SHORTAGE? Oh my god. What do you MEAN, a shortage of EGGS?

Man, gesturing towards the egg cooler at Superstore: There’s not that many eggs to choose from.

Woman: That’s not really a shortage. GOD. That just means they are almost OUT of eggs because it’s the end of the DAY. Don’t say it’s a shortage. It’s not a SHORTAGE, for God’s sake.

Man: Whatever! There’s not a lot of eggs!

Woman: It isn’t a SHORTAGE.

At that point I grabbed my orange juice and backed away. I mean, I don’t know what’s going on your life, but maybe some deep breaths would be beneficial?

But who am I to talk? I have been in low-level panic about the Madagascar drought and resulting worldwide vanilla shortage for a few months now. Everyone knows that the key to an amazing baked-good experience is doubling the vanilla, and here we are with a shortage.

I was at Costco and they were OUT of vanilla extract, and my own panic was similar to that of the Egg Lady. I have one bottle in my possession and I’m not sure at what point I start extreme rationing. Is it time to panic yet? Should I start hoarding? WHAT NOW.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I need to keep calm because, after all, I’m going to be on a school bus shortly and that is cause for panic enough. Have a great weekend, everyone. xo

Post-Halloween Syndrome

Posted on by

Is it okay to start playing Christmas music now?

1dcov5

I’m only sort of kidding.

Is anyone suffering from post-Halloween-exhaustion? Last night the kids had a blast and I’m happy to report that I managed to dispense of ALL of the 250 mini chocolate bars, and only a few of those went into my own children’s bags. We had 18 Trick-or-Treaters, which was a near record for us. I was VERY heavy-handed with the treats, and I was delighted to see four of the boys’ friends at my door. They were our last Trick-or-Treaters, and they each got about twenty candies. Three teens came to my door with no costumes whatsoever, but I am a proponent of teens Trick-or-Treating, as opposed to teens doing fentanyl or whatever it is that kids do these days, and so they all got a generous handful.

My kids’ costumes turned out…well…I’m not sure how to describe them.

halloween

Our neighbours were very generous and kind, as usual. One elderly man who lives down the street dropped off two little goody bags for the boys, explaining to me that he wouldn’t be home tonight and didn’t want them to miss out. The goodies were in those little paper bags that the pharmacy uses for prescriptions, and the sight of those bags, with the word “Enjoy!” written on them, made me smile all day long. What a sweet man he is. I love our neighbourhood.

The boys came home with bags filled to the brim with candy, chips, and one religious tract each, warning them that Halloween is Satan’s holiday, and that the Lord hates Halloween, and we should probably all repent lest we go in the wrong direction when we die. Festive!

Didn’t it feel a bit strange, having such festivities on a Monday night? I decided to take down the decorations today; normally that is strictly a Blue Job in my house, but the thought of having the Grim Reapers in my front yard, along with the rest of the spooky touches, until the weekend seemed a bit much. Especially after reading the religious tracts. So I got out the ladder and laboriously took down all the decorations, and immediately started to think of Christmas lights. It’s probably too soon for that, though. I’m guessing my husband would have something to say about that, and since putting up Christmas lights is without exception a Blue Job around here, I’ll have to wait a week or two.

I’m NOT going to wait to do my Christmas shopping, though. I know the mall is going to be playing Christmas music so…

xmasmusic