Monthly Archives: July 2016

Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

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Not all news is bad, people. Today I learned that you can make crispy pan-fried chickpeas on the stove top! Just like amazing, addictive, roasted chickpeas, but without turning on the oven! This is an incredible breakthrough in chickpea technology and I, for one, am going to try it out as soon as possible.

This week has been very fun for the boys; they have been enjoying karate camp immensely. Every day they wake up excited for what’s in store, and then every afternoon I pick them up and they are filthy, exhausted, and very happy. Meanwhile, Barkley and I have reverted to our usual school-year routine. When everyone is home Barkley finds it hard to relax: there is always someone around and who knows what adventures the day will bring? But when it’s just me and him, well. We go for a walk and then he sleeps the day away, waking only when he hears food being prepared or when he decides he’s had enough of his dog bed and goes outside to sleep in the sun.

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The corner of the deck also works for napping.

Passed-out dog aside, there are so many interesting and beautiful things in the world, if you just keep your eyes open. In the words of Ferris Bueller,

Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you’d have a diamond.

Whoops, wrong quote.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Here are some of the things I’ve seen when I stopped and looked around.

Cherry’s Got Back

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We can’t understand why our enrollment numbers are down.

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A Perfect Avocado: Next I’m Going To Find A Unicorn

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If I Eat Any More Strawberries I Will Have To Make Friends Called Lemon Meringue and Huckleberry Pie

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One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others, One Of These Things Just Isn’t The Same

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I’m Not Talking About Moving In, And I Don’t Want To Change Your Life, But There’s A Warm Wind Blowing, The Stars Are Out, And

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So stop what you’re doing, look around, and see the amazing things in the world. xo

All I do is win, win, win, no matter what.

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The sun has come out! The sun has come out! It was a wee bit too late to save our Sunday afternoon barbeque for fourteen people, but better late than never. On Sunday my husband and I looked at the sky with nervous hope; about twenty minutes before our guests arrived, the sky turned black, the wind turned icy, and the rain started pouring and didn’t stop. That was a bit disappointing but I shall repeat: the sun has come out!

The boys are at karate camp this week, so I’m extra glad for the sunny weather. I can’t imagine how miserable the camp would be if the weather had been what it was like last week. Mind you, last year there was one day that was twelve degrees and raining and they still went swimming at the heated outdoor pool so I guess the show must go on. Swimming isn’t happening this year, though, as was evident when we pulled into the parking lot and saw a giant digger and dump truck, and where the pool had been previously was merely a pile of rubble. There’s always next year! In any case, if yesterday is any indication, they will be having an EPIC week full of karate and water fights and obstacle courses.

I am austerely taking this opportunity to get a lot of work done. It’s amazing how much one can get done without having near-constant conversations about The Simpsons, Overwatch, and – alarmingly – Grand Theft Auto. Mom, there’s a guy on GTA who does yoga! Ah, yes, thanks for letting me know about the criminals and how they spend their time when they are not stealing cars or shooting people.

Grand Theft Auto is just one in a string of examples of things I never thought I would allow, but here we are. Although “allow” is probably the wrong word for it; it’s more like I was railroaded into this “decision.”

The other day I bought a pair of athletic socks, and this is actually a much bigger deal than it appears. I hate, hate, hate spending money on socks, for some reason, but I especially hate spending money on athletic socks. I don’t know why. I don’t know what my issue is but it probably would take a team of therapists to get things straight. In any case, I realized that the two pairs of athletic socks that I own are on their last legs (feet?). One pair I purchased for spin class, last attended in 2001, and the other pair I purchased for golf. My last golf game was somewhere in the first half of 2003.

I probably needed a new pair of socks, is what I’m trying to get at.

We all know my love of all things lululemon, and so I purchased a pair of socks from there. They are pink, to match my trainers, and they have all kinds of claims like “micro-cushioning” and “sweat-wicking” and plus did I mention they are pink? Anyway, they were a bit pricey but I figured that by the time I bought a new pair, somewhere in the vicinity of 2030, I would have gotten my money’s worth from them. Per-unit usage and cost-benefit analysis and all that. “Micro-cushioning” isn’t cheap, you know.

Anyway, I took the socks from the packaging and I was faced with one of lululemon’s signature inspirational sayings. Except that it was less inspirational, and more depressing. It said that women, on average, walk five kilometers more than men. FIVE KILOMETERS. I thought of all the women in the world, walking for hours to find clean water and whatnot, and I thought that was probably the least inspirational thing I could have read on my sock packaging. Because honestly? I’m not sure that Fitbit-wearing women in North America are walking five kilometers more than their male counterparts. I mean, I haven’t seen the data or anything, but that doesn’t seem credible, which makes the “on average” thing that much more depressing.

This is why I don’t have a Fitbit. Well, not exactly, it’s not because I would become depressed thinking about the plight of women in disadvantaged situations, although every time I think about it I do. The real reason I don’t have a Fitbit is because I would turn into David Sedaris. I have somewhat of a highly competitive nature and would probably spend my days trying to kill it on the Fitbit. All work, childcare, and sanity would go out the window as I would spend my days walking briskly to get more steps. This is the reason that my husband will no longer play Monopoly with me, and also the reason I secretly fumed at my sister-in-law’s brother for winning Shopkins Bingo at my niece’s birthday party. It’s bad enough that I have a step counter on my phone; if I had a Fitbit I’d probably railroad my husband into getting one too, and then see if I could walk five kilometers more than him on a daily basis. Actually, I’d probably make it six for good measure and to get back at him for the Grand Theft Auto thing.

Well, it’s better for my marriage, sanity, and everything else to not have a Fitbit, and meanwhile, I am enjoying my new socks very much. If I was walking an extra five (or six) kilometers a day, I’d probably have to spring for another pair, and that is just a bridge too far.

Friendship Friday

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Gonna put the world away for a minute. Pretend I don’t live in it. Sunshine gonna wash my blues away. – Zac Brown Band

There is a distinct lack of sunshine right now, both literally and figuratively. This was the view from my back yard at 11:00 this morning.

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And this is what my living room looked like at noon.

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It’s hard to feel upbeat when everything seems like it is going to hell.

Last night my husband and I went to see the Zac Brown Band in concert, and while it’s been about twenty years since I was at a concert, it did seem to me like it was the greatest performance I had ever seen. Incredible talent, and so entertaining, the band mixed their own fantastic music with very interesting covers of other artists’ songs, such as Into The Mystic, Enter Sandman, Jack and Diane, and Teenage Wasteland, of all things. They also covered The Devil Went Down To Georgia and it was, in my humble opinion, the best showcase of musical talent possible. I felt so incredibly happy and exceedingly lucky, and at one point I closed my eyes and just willed myself to remember it forever. I looked around at all the people dancing, singing, and cheering – the whole Saddledome full – and then I thought of crowds just like this being attacked.

It was not a good thought.

But there is nothing I can do, not really. I cannot do anything about a monster who murders a five-year-old girl and her mother, I cannot do anything about a sick fuck who walks into a party not three blocks from my house and murders five young people just starting out in life. I cannot do anything about terrorist attacks, mass shootings, or racially-motivated killings.

What I can do is make my own little world a little better, I can make my own circle happier, and in the absence of actual sunshine, I can make my own. That is all I can do.

My mother-in-law called me the other night to tell me that she was out and was waited on by someone, she said, who was Just beautiful, just like you, and she had this big beautiful smile, and I said to her, you remind me so much of our Nicole. I thanked her very much for saying something so kind, and she said Well, dear, with this world the way it is, I think if you THINK something nice, then you should SAY it.

She’s absolutely right. Sometimes people need to be celebrated, and sometimes people don’t even know that they’ve affected your life in a positive way. You have to tell them.

Friends Who I Want To Thank

About ten years ago, my friend Eera (HI EERA) brought me a whole bunch of beautiful columbines from her garden. They bloom beautifully every year, and every year I think of Eera and her love of gardening. I want to tell Eera that even though we haven’t seen each other for years, I think of her every time the columbines blossom, and reseed themselves. Thank you, Eera.

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My friend Karen (HI KAREN) who is the hardest-working person I know, just became a registered nurse. Congratulations on all your hard work, Karen! You’re a living, breathing example of how motivation and hard work can pay off.

My friend Sharyl (HI SHARYL) is a yoga therapist who works with stroke survivors. Her work is an absolute inspiration to me, and I only wish I could be half the teacher she is.

Blogs That I Am So Happy To Read

Gwen (HI GWEN) and I work together at YMC, and we bonded right away over our mutual love of avocado and coconut. Gwen has a beautiful food blog as well, and whenever a new post pops up it makes me so happy. Thank you, Gwen.

Dawn (HI DAWN) and I are new friends; we both contribute at Life in Pleasantville, and I have just discovered her lovely blog. I love the name as much as I love her delicious-looking photos: Cupcakes and Tiaras. Two of my favourite things! Thank you, Dawn.

I don’t know the ladies behind Finding Isvara, but this is a fabulous blog for us yogis, especially Ashtangis. Check it out, yoga friends!

It’s been a quiet day at home; the kids and dog are at Camp Grandma, but it won’t be quiet for long, so I will close for now. Thank the people in your life who maybe don’t have any idea how much they affect your life. Thank YOU, all of you, for being kind and reading this blog. xoxo

Bundle up, it’s summer!

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It seems our unbelievably mild winter and early, hot spring has melted into a typical Calgary summer: cool, rainy, grey, and windy, topped off with inexplicable daily thunderstorms. How can we get so many thunderstorms without daytime heat? I don’t know. In any case, looking on the bright side, I don’t have to worry about watering my garden. Yesterday we went for a family bike ride and the wind was so cold that I actually wished I had earmuffs on my bike helmet.

I’m taking this as a sign to take things easy today, to just spend some quiet indoor time with the kids. Well, “quiet.” I keep seeing recipes that are “beat the heat” this and “no-bake” that, and meanwhile I’m considering a marathon baking session today, wearing an apron over my wool sweater. Last week I faced my pastry fears and baked my very first pie.

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I don’t eat pie, but by all accounts it was excellent, despite being very, very ugly. Facing my fears via pie crust is the topic for a whole post in itself, however, so I shall not bore you with the details at the moment. I’ll bore you with them later!

One benefit of kind-of-crappy weather is that outdoor attractions are not at all busy, so the boys and I bundled up to go to the zoo last week. We even got to see the new baby gorilla, nursing and riding on her mother’s back. It’s very heartening to see babies in captivity doing well, and I laughed to see one of the males beating his chest to no one in particular and getting in the mother’s space, only to have her scamper away with the baby on her back. Every time the male came near her, she left, and if she could speak English I’m sure she would be saying Get away from me, you loser, and rolling her eyes. Finally he gave up and went to munch on some lettuce.

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Pants, sweater, a jacket…the perfect summer outfit!

In other exciting news, my husband and I are going to a concert on Thursday night. I haven’t been to a concert in over two decades, so it should be very fun. The kids are going to Camp Grandma for a couple of days, so the going will be very tough for them, I’m sure. It’s going to be non-stop goodies and marathon sessions of Simpsons’ Clue.

Remember when concert tickets were less than $20 apiece? I sure do, and I’m not one to lament times gone by but those were the days, were they not? My girlfriends and I saw tons of great shows all for the price of a few hours’ babysitting. Actually, now that I think of it, I made about $2/hour babysitting, so I guess those concert tickets were pretty hard-earned after all. But I am looking very much forward to this concert, and it is during Stampede so I’m contemplating what to wear. Will it be hot with all the people and (presumably) dancing? Or should I dress for the chilly weather outside? Should I put on layers, or will that be too risky in terms of losing clothing articles? I mean, there probably isn’t going to be a mosh pit or crowd surfing or anything at Zak Brown Band, but the fewer things to keep track of, the better.

Many years ago, I was at a concert at the university, when my friend’s boyfriend did some drunken crowd surfing, and ended up with one shoe, in the middle of winter. We looked and looked, to no avail. We even went back to the Economics Undergraduates Society office, where I was the president, and made drawings of shoes on pieces of foolscap, captioned “Have You Seen Me?” but we never did find that shoe. The guy had to walk/ hop through the snow to the designated driver’s car, with his soggy foot. I wonder if that was the last time I was at a concert.

What was the last concert you went to? What was the first? I don’t remember my last one but my first was INXS in 1988. Good times.

The Miracle of Flight

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I’m on the internet a fair amount, mostly because of work and writing related obligations, but also for the social aspect. I love all the photos of kids, puppies, vacations, food, and silly things, I love funny memes, I love updates about people’s lives. But with the internet comes a flip side, and although I should be deadened to it by now, I am not.

Yesterday I was flipping through Facebook and I noticed an article that had been shared a few times. I noticed, in particular, on one friend’s page that the aforementioned article had over thirty comments on it and – cue the ominous, Jaws-theme-song-type-music – I clicked on it.

I know what you’re thinking. Nicole! What’s wrong with you? Have you never been on the internet before? DON’T READ THE COMMENTS. I know. I know. I’m disappointed in myself as well.

The article in question was this one, that listed all the reasons people shouldn’t recline their seats on airplanes. The comments were mixed between I am going to recline my seat whether you like it or not, you whiny baby, deal with it and Everyone who reclines their seat is an inconsiderate asshole, every single one of them, reclining seats should be BANNED. There was really no middle ground; after all, this is an internet argument, and there is no room for middle ground here. Pick a side, people, there is no room on the fence.

This is where I out myself as the Switzerland in this airplane-reclining-seat-mortal-combat. I fly fairly often, and I don’t recline my seat, unless I am on a red eye, and then I definitely do, because I’ve taken Gravol within an inch of my life and will sleep and drool all over myself for the duration and I like to be reclined for that. Generally speaking, though, I sit up straight and I use the flight time the way God intended: to read, watch a crappy movie, or to stare blankly at the seat back for hours like David Putty on Seinfeld. I will also eat lots of free cookies and pretzels, but that’s about it.

Nor do I care if the seat in front of me is reclined. I’m fairly tall but I’m not a big person, and a reclined seat in front of me does not affect my airline experience in any major way. Sure, there might be slightly less room for my free cookies and pretzels on my tray, but I don’t really care. This is not the era of The Glory Days Of Airline Travel. We are not on the set of Mad Men. No one is sitting in cushy comfort with free cocktails and bathroom booty calls. We are all just crammed in and hoping for the best. I think we can all agree that airline travel these days is uncomfortable no matter what the situation, and for me, someone reclining their seat is not going to negatively affect my trip.

To be honest, I was kind of aghast that Reclining Seats Versus Not-Reclining Seats was such a vitriol-filled issue, and YES, I know, have I ever been on the internet before? No topic is too small or ridiculous to warrant heated discussion and name-calling. No topic is too minor to cause people to take sides and friendships to break up. This is the era of The Glory Days Of The Internet, and everyone gets to Air Their Grievances, just like it is Festivus somewhere, every day.

I like to think of myself as a positive person, as a mix between Sally Allbright and Maria von Trapp, going around singing lame songs all the time as I alphabetize my spice cabinet, but things like this make me gravely disappointed in all of humanity. I mean, for all I know the Asshole Who Reclines Their Seat has a bad back that makes it impossible to sit straight for five hours, and for all I know the Whiny Baby Complaining About Reclining is six foot six and the circulation below their knees is being cut off.

Whatever happened to Communicating Needs and Common Decency/ Respect for Fellow People? I don’t know how you would react, but if someone behind me asked me nicely not to recline my seat because it was bothering them, I would not recline my seat. I wouldn’t go off the deep end about My Rights As A Passenger To Recline My Seat. And similarly, if someone reclined their seat and for some reason it was bothering me, I feel that it would be okay to talk to that person and not assume that he or she was The Worst Person On The Face Of The Planet and start mentally plotting their demise.

Let’s all agree that a) airplane travel will always be a bit uncomfortable but it’s worth it to experience the Miracle of Flight rather than spend three weeks driving/ sailing somewhere, b) if we have an issue with something we will look at it at an individual level, rather than Painting Everyone With The Same Bitter Brush, and c) it’s impossible to choose between cookies and pretzels, instead ask for both.

Everything is rosy.

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Has it really only been 10 days since the end of school? It seems like much longer, but in a good way. There’s been a lot of activity around here, and I know it’s on-trend to claim that we are just going to let the kids fend for themselves and kick them outside for the whole day like we did when we were kids, but that’s not really my M.O. these days. I mean, they do spend time just wandering the neighbourhood with friends, bringing the whole crowd back here for snacks, but I’m doing a lot of activity planning as well.

This is what has happened in the Boyhouse over the past week: pool afternoon with two other boys, which ended abruptly with the appearance of lightning and subsequent whistle-blowing and Everyone out of the pool-ing by lifeguards, a morning at the amusement park, two nights at my parents’ lakehouse, which included two boat-rides and tubing for the boys, bike rides, a parade and Canada Day celebrations, and an evening watching Finding Dory in those awesome new reclining theatre seats. I also feel the need to mention that, while at my parents’ for two days, I rode 47.5 kilometers on my bike and it’s still a bit sore to sit down.

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My husband had a few days off and we finished staining the deck (I say “we” but it was less “me” than it was “him”). He also replaced all the steps and railings, to the amazement of the boys’ friends. The steps were non-existent when they were over on Tuesday, and completed when they were over the following day.

What are you doing this summer? My plan is a mix between semi-lazy days and semi-vigorous activity, it seems. I’m allowing my kids screen time for a few hours each day while I get some work and writing done, and then it’s time to go outside. We have passes for the local amusement park and the zoo, and I’ve managed to score free passes to the science centre as well. I’m also hoping to get the kids out hiking in the mountains once a week or every two weeks, weather depending. The unseasonably hot weather has melted into usual-Calgary-summer-weather, which means highs of about twenty degrees with late-day thunder showers.

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However, that unseasonably hot weather, combined with our mild winter and early spring, means that my garden looks amazing. My roses, in particular, are taking over.

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The smell is incredible, and I feel like it is a beautiful omen for the summer. How did you spend the long weekend? Tell me everything. xo