Boyhouse Year in Review 2013

I know, it isn’t QUITE the end of the year and something totally thrilling and blog worthy COULD happen in the next 36 hours, but I am posting my Boyhouse Year in Review today. There are some exciting changes afoot in the Boyhouse, mainly that this blog is going to be moving! Yes, soon you will be able to find me at www.girlinaboyhouse.com, and those of you who find my blog via the search term “girl in a boy house” are going to be pleased with my new address. For those of you who have found my blog via the search term “braless in white shirt” and “milf fur coat”, well, I guess it won’t help. To be honest, if that’s how you found this blog, I’m unsure I would be able to help anyway.

But let’s look back at 2013 in the Boyhouse, shall we?

January

I recovered from a debilitating – albeit cleansing – bout of norovirus, aided by freezies and watching The Price is Right. I watched a lot of Breaking Bad and I talked about the MILF diet.

Me, recovering from norovirus, and cheering for the (SUPERBOWL CHAMPS) Ravens

February

I watched Top Gun and talked about movie theatres, I met the worst person in the world, and I was here today, gone to Maui.

March

I heard Sunglasses at Night twice in a ninety minute span on the same radio station, my life flashed before my eyes when I was almost crushed by a display of tampons at Costco, Mark turned nine, and Jake fell in love with the new hippo at the zoo.

April

The children got clock radios, I got a job as a food writer at Yummy Mummy Club, I turned 38, and my husband abandoned me in Home Depot.

May

I saw the greatest license plate ever, I realized that garden centres are the sexy pickup clubs of the elderly, and I broke my own rule and chaperoned a field trip.

June

I went to not one but two high school reunions and talked about hair from the 80s, I put on my married lady pants, and I wondered how Lee Garner Junior made Roger Stirling “hold his balls”. This was also the month of the devastating floods in Calgary.

July

I talked about things my husband dislikes about me, a brave undertaking if ever there was one, I talked about fashion, and my own questionable choices back in the day, and my husband gave me a Cosmopolitan magazine.

August

We went on vacation, I visited my grandma for what would be the last time, and Barkley found a dead fish.

September

The kids went back to school and I made a lot of lists, I cried in the grocery store and wondered what it would be like to have Mrs. Hall as a mother-in-law, Jake turned eight, and we had a moustastrophe.  

October

I went to a blogging conference and learned an important lesson about myself: if Vanilla Ice is playing, I will always do the running man, I got all full-moon-crazy, and it was Halloween and I had a hair crisis.

November

There was a moth in the house and I had a nervous breakdown, I ran the book fair and the kids displayed amazing kazoo talents, and I had my usual annual debate about the Sexiest Man Alive.

December

My beloved grandma passed away, I got bossy about Christmas, and I accidentally left the dog in the garage when I went to take him for a walk.

So that’s 2013 – a happy new year to you and yours!

12 Days of Christmas Started Two Days Ago

Today I am on a quest to embrace sloth and gluttony, and wish only to curl on the couch with wine, popcorn, and one of my new Christmas-gift books, and yet I am faced with two universal truths: the laundry never stops, and the children require nutrition. I have acknowledged these interruptions in my sloth-like schedule, but not without a teensy bit of resentment.

My longing for relaxation is possibly spurred on by events from yesterday, which would be best described using the words “obsessive”, “frantic”, and “cleaning binge”. I have to admit that I take down and put away the Christmas decorations with the same zeal with which I put them up. I’m not sure how to explain this, exactly, except that every year at approximately 8:00 am on December 25 I fight the urge to clear away all the chaos and Clean All The Things. I do fight the urge, however, and Boxing Day in the Boyhouse is the day that all the Christmas items are boxed up and closets purged. It probably says something about my personality that I cannot relax and enjoy the holiday amid post-Christmas chaos and disaster.

I like to think that there are two distinct types of us cheery little Christmas elves: the Advent Elves and the 12 Days of Christmas Elves. I know some of us wouldn’t dream of taking the tree down until Epiphany, or New Year’s at least, but others of us (read: me) feel that Boxing Day is the Last Possible Day The Tree Can Be Up Whilst Maintaining Our Sanity. Advent Elves.

The boys have been happily alternating between putting together Lego sets and playing new Wii games, and are preparing to be introduced to Junior Scrabble and Perfection – gifts from my parents. Jake, especially, is interested in Perfection, although he may have a slightly different idea of “explosion”. He asked me if we should play this game in the basement because he didn’t want any of his complicated Lego sets to be damaged in the playing of Perfection.

Speaking of Wii games, we had bought the Just Dance 2014 game, allegedly from “Barkley”, and spent Christmas Eve getting our groove on. I don’t mean to boast, but my disco moves are pretty excellent, proven by my earning 5 stars on YMCA on my very first try. What can I say, I know my Village People.

 

My 5-Star disco dancing skills aside, it’s been a wonderful holiday so far, even if I have been still preparing meals and doing laundry. I have a stack of wonderful new books to delve into, new charms for my bracelets, new pajamas that have owls on them, and many other lovely things. My mother gave me an apron that is absolutely adorable; it’s a little TOO adorable, maybe. She bought it at a lingerie store so I’m not sure if it’s for cooking or “cooking” but in any case, I love it.

How was your Christmas, lovelies? Tell me everything. xo

Mark poured almond milk, just in case “Santa” couldn’t have regular milk.

We moved Jake’s bed into Mark’s room so they could have a “sleepover”,
which is still going on and appears to now be unbreakable tradition.

Bringing Sexy (or Blogs) Back, Festivus Style

So far, Christmas vacation has been epic. EPIC. On Friday, after coming home from yoga in minus-JC-it’s-cold temperatures, I declared a lazy day and decided that we would not be leaving the house. Instead, I cracked the big bottle of Bailey’s and glugged it into my coffee. Thus armed, I watched The Price is Right with the boys, and it was Firefighter Day. I repeat, Firefighter Day. Just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get any better than that, I remembered I had two avocados in the kitchen and then made myself a double batch of guacamole for lunch. The boys had pancakes, and – other than my Santa tummy from three coffee and Bailey’s and two avocados’ worth of guacamole – it was pretty much the best day ever. Today I plan on making a giant bowl of popcorn and watching Elf with the boys. “Things busy for you?” Dr. Hipster asked this morning. “No,” I replied, “I’m embracing sloth.”

Today is Festivus, for all you Seinfeld fans, and so in addition to being slothful I am also going to air my grievances. It’s been said, lately, that blogging – story telling, personal blogging – is dead. Dead! While I recognize the surge in popularity of review and giveaway blogs, I am not writing this from beyond the grave. Let’s take back the blog, people.

While writing last week’s book post, my friend Allison and I were talking about how fun it was to do memes, old school memes, and it is my personal resolution to bring back the meme. Bringing sexy back, in meme form. Since it’s two days until Christmas and I’m a sloth, I bring you…

Meme Monday: Festivus Television Version

1) What is your favourite Christmas television special and why?

The original How The Grinch Stole Christmas. No contest. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. Exactly.

2) What is your least favourite Christmas special and why?

Ugh, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer has always held least-loved spot in my festive television viewing world. Poor Rudolph – the story is terrible, and the creepy clay-mation…I’ve never made it through an entire viewing. I’d rather watch the news when they report on December 21 that “Malls Expected To Be Busy Today” followed up by “Airport Also Expected To Be Busy.”

3) What is the Christmas movie you cannot live without?

Elf and Christmas Vacation, of course. These are viewed annually, along with Little Women and When Harry Met Sally. As a side note, I’ve reached the point in my marriage where my husband will no longer watch these movies with me. The boys will watch Elf, but other than that I’m on my own. Apparently my husband has “bought the cow” and he no longer needs to romance me by watching me recite all the dialogue to When Harry Met Sally. If anyone needs me I’ll be on the couch with my DVD’s and some guacamole.

4) Name a Christmas special from your childhood that is so obscure you’re not even sure it exists.

Does anyone else remember The Little One, or is it something I have made up in my jasmine of my mind? It was a show about a donkey who was no longer good at…doing donkey things? I don’t know. He was heading for the slaughter house, I guess, but SOMEONE bought him because he was perfect for a job. That job was carrying Mary to Bethlehem. I feel FAIRLY certain I watched this at Sunday School. Has anyone else even heard of this or did I just make it up?

5) Name a “very special” Christmas episode of your favourite childhood television series.

This is hard, because I remember so few things from my childhood – except for those I may have made up, i.e., the donkey movie. Also I didn’t watch much television as a child other than The Muppet Show and Lorne Greene’s New Wilderness. However, I do remember watching Silver Spoons – remember that show? – and there was a Christmas special about a family living in a CAVE because they had no money. Did this show really happen or did I dream it? I DON’T KNOW EITHER.

So it’s your turn! Christmas memories, TV style. Bring back the blog, people, and sexy too, while you’re at it. Or just Festivus-ly air your grievances.

Merry Christmas to all of you, dear readers. xoxoxo

There seems to be a theme here…

Us old-skool bloggers (did you know I’ve been blogging for five years? It’s been five long years and I love you just the same) sometimes miss the fun and joy that was the meme. Well, I’m bringing us back to early 2008 with a good old-fashioned book meme.
 
There is a meme going around Facebook, to name ten books that have stayed with you long after you read them. My lovely friend (and my editor, hi Ali!) did this meme on her blog and what with the holidays approaching with two lazy freezing cold hell-no-I’m-not-going-outside weeks ahead of us, I’m thinking about books. I’ve always been a bookworm, but more than that, I’m a re-reader. If I love a book I read it over and over; it’s comforting to me and also brings me joy to pick up a book to find that passage that I love, or that chapter that charms me. And so many of my favourite books are ones that are basically falling apart.
 
So without further adieu, I bring you the books that stayed with me long, long after I read them.
 
1) A Little Princess
 
When it comes to Frances Hodgson Burnett, you are apparently either a Secret Garden person or a Little Princess person and I, most definitely, am of the Princess persuasion. Not just because I’m spoiled either. I first read this book when I was seven and my little brother was a sick newborn. I spent a lot of time at my aunt’s house and – sorry, Alg, if you’re reading this – I couldn’t stand my younger cousin. Basically I just read this book over and over as a form of escapism and to be honest, I still could escape into it. It’s a magical story – riches to rags back to riches – with lots of imagery about the beauty of India and the dreariness of wintry London. I also fantasized about going to boarding school when I was a child, because of this book.
 
 
2) These Happy Golden Years
 
I am tagging my friend Swistle here because she has NEVER read this book. It’s not about old people even though that is what we think of when we say “Golden Years”. I obsessively read all the Little House books when I was a child but this one – with its old-timey, courtly romance – was my favourite then and it’s still my favourite now. Who could have possibly bought Laura that beautiful comb set for Christmas? Why, Pa saw Almanzo buying that VERY SAME one. Sigh. Courting. The crazy Mrs. Brewster just adds to the fun, for me. I loved this book so much and I regretted ever reading The First Four Years. I wish I had ended the series with this one.

 
3) Little Women
 
One of my all-time favourites. My maternal grandmother gave me that old copy on the left, that was gifted to her in 1927. What a treasure. The other book is from my dear Grandma Fern. It contained not only Little Women but the second part, which used to be called Good Wives. And look what’s on the flip side:

Little Men is not my favourite, but that book is falling apart because I read it over 20 times one summer that I was at her house. I always regretted leaving that book behind when I went home to Calgary. About ten years ago, I asked her if I could take that book home with me, and she said “Well, of course. I thought you should have taken it twenty years ago.” Aw, Grandma, I miss you.

Along with Little Women, Louisa May Alcott wrote Rose in Bloom, the sequel to Eight Cousins. How I loved that book, even if it does have an icky undertone of “which cousin will Rose marry?” which is, well, icky. But yet, it’s a beautiful period piece and after reading a biography of Alcott’s actual wretched life, I like to think about her writing this lovely society story. I hope it brought her happiness.

4) The Mists of Avalon

My aunt gave me this book when I was a teenager and wow, is it an amazing read. It’s a retelling of King Arthur’s story from the women’s point of view. While I could care less about reading about knights and dragons, reading about queens and affairs and magical witchcraft? Fabulous. I’m not someone who enjoys fantasy stories, but this is the exception to my rule.

 
5) To Kill A Mockingbird
 
Amazing, beautiful book. I don’t think Harper Lee published anything else after this and why would she? It’s perfection. I always, always tear up. “I may not be much, Mr. Finch, but I’m still sherriff of Maycomb County and Bob Ewell fell on his knife. Good night, sir.” It also contains my favourite line ever in a book: “I thought Jem and I would get grown but there wasn’t much else left for us to learn, except possibly algebra.”

6) Pride and Prejudice

I was in second year university when I read this book and I can’t believe I wasted 19 years of my life without it. I am a slavish Jane Austen fan – love the wit, love the romance – but this book is the very best of the bunch. The dialogue is amazing and Mr. Darcy’s speech about how he MUST tell Elizabeth how much he loves and admires her? Sighhhhh.  

 
I bought it at the Student Union used bookstore for five dollars. Best five dollars I’ve ever spent.

 
Love this trio of books, but they are more of an honourable mention.

7) Diary of a Provincial Lady

This is the wittiest, most entertaining book ever. I read it when I’m feeling down or need to be inspired. It’s falling apart such that I have to put individual pages in order when I read it.

8) Of Mice and Men

This is NOT one of my favourites but it is a book that’s stayed with me a long time. In fact, I’ve only read it once. This should be telling. I practically have a sobbing breakdown when I think of the ending and so NO I WON’T READ IT AGAIN. Such a sad, moving story. I read it when I was a teenager, in the car on the way to Saskatchewan, and I was upset about it for DAYS after. DAYS. My older brother took great pleasure in leaning over and saying “What about the rabbits, George” which would make me burst into tears.

Ack, I’m running out of room. Honourable mention to Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns, alhough Kite Runner is a one-read-only kind of book.

Also, props to one of my favourites, The Godfather. I burst into emotional hormonal tears when reading this in the doctor’s waiting room while pregnant with Jake. I had gotten to the part where Sonny is shot, look at how they massacred my son, and I started crying with I don’t want his mother to see him this way. Because I am a mother! Not that my husband is a mafia boss but still….


9 a) Lives of Girls and Women 

I love Alice Munro’s works, I adore her writing, her dialogue, her mastery of the short story. Lives of Girls and Women was the first story I had ever read by her, and I was hooked. You can see by the spine that I’ve read it a few times.

 
 

9 b) Cat’s Eye

It’s HARD to choose ten books only. Cat’s Eye is astounding. I remember reading it for the first time, and then flashing back to being girl-bullied in fifth grade. If you’ve ever had experience with mean girls – and who hasn’t, really – this is an incredible read. But see in the shelf below, there’s a gap in my Margaret Atwood books?

10) The Blind Assassin

Possibly my all-time favourite book. It’s an epic, and threads so interestingly through different eras. A passionate romance, a family epic, a history of wars and Bolshevism and unionism and riots and civic unrest, but shown through the eyes of a pampered society girl. I love everything about this book: the description of the fashions, the dialogue, the romantic tension, the politics. It is on my nightstand right now.

And now it’s your turn! I’m tagging EVERYONE in this meme. If you’re a blogger, consider it a topic! If you’re not, tell me ten books that have stayed with you through the years in the comment section. xoxo

The best way to spread Christmas cheer is self awareness.

Oh hey, it’s blizzarding again. The news anchor mentioned that Saturday is the First Day of Winter! and I stared at the television in confusion. I think seasons should actually be defined differently here in Canada. We’ve had tons of snow on the ground since before Halloween, so I THINK I know a little something about winter. This morning I drove home from yoga in almost zero visibility, feeling like a modern day Laura Ingalls in The Long Winter, without all the icky starving to death and freezing to death and slowly going insane sitting in the dark listening to the wind because Pa’s frozen dead hands can no longer even play the fiddle and we might as all just go to the barn without a rope, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Anyway, as my sweet new yoga teacher said to me this morning, these are the most yin days of the year, what with the darkness and the cold and the holidays approaching. I am going to take her at her word and hibernate, eating the plethora of chocolate truffles and peppermint bark I have in the house.

I THINK IT’S TIME FOR CHRISTMAS VACATION.

There are only one and a half days of school left, including today, and – despite the fact that yes, we did just have a PD day two weeks ago – we are all ready for a nice big break. The children are hyper and spazzy, and it appears that as of yesterday, all work is finished for the calendar year. Today they were requested to bring in candies to decorate the graham cracker “gingerbread” houses that they are making for, apparently, a Social Studies project. The tie into Social Studies is pretty shaky, but after all who can concentrate with Santa coming and all. Tomorrow is pajama day and they are watching movies, wheeeee academia.

I’ve been seeing my hipster chiropractor nearly every day this week, and I can’t help but feel a little smug about my “progress”. Dr. Hipster keeps telling me how impressively “self-aware” I am, which makes me giggle a little. Self-aware. Is there a douchier term? I don’t think so. Dr. Hipster is also very impressed with my “flexibility and range of motion” and every time he tells me this, it takes everything I have not to go into show-off mode and whip my legs behind my head or something. You think that’s flexible? Get a load of this. But I don’t because I like to behave like a normal person in public, generally. GENERALLY.

In any case, Dr. Hipster was warning me about re-injuring my back and informing me that I am NOT allowed to shovel snow, which is actually kind of nice. He also warned me about stress and tension adding to lower back troubles. “Although,” he said, “You don’t appear to be the type of person who is high-strung or under a lot of stress.” NO KIDDING DOC. I have as low a stress level as is physically possible, I think. Maybe it’s because I’m so “self-aware”? I don’t know.

Even with my super low stress levels, I have been a complete idiot this week. I’m blaming it on the week before Christmas – and maybe because these are yin days and I’m being more yang? I don’t know. Yesterday I wrapped up a bottle of wine for our school secretary and put a card on a box of Lindors for the office staff, and put them both in a bag to take to school. It was Mark’s last day of swimming lessons, thankfully, since his lessons end at 11:50 and in no universe can 25 fourth grade boys make it in and out of the change room in time for lunch. There’s just a zero percent chance. So I’ve been rushing to the school, picking up Jake from his classroom, walking over to the pool, and picking up Mark, which really cuts into our 52 minute lunchtime. Anyway, I was planning to take the gifts with me to school, but forgot them and only realized I forgot them when I was actually physically in the office, wishing the school secretary a Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, here’s a…oh shit. I forgot it.

Continuing with this theme, yesterday I realized I was out of coconut milk. A while ago I realized I had 48 canned good items in my cupboard, including 6 coconut milks, 11 cans of various types of beans, and – weirdly – 4 cans of pumpkin. I vowed not to buy anything until I was actually out of something, and finally I realized yesterday that I had used up all the coconut milk. I headed for the grocery store, and decided to do my weekly shop as well. I hummed Christmas carols to myself as I filled my cart, went home, unloaded the groceries, and realized I didn’t buy any coconut milk. I even had a list with me and remembered to buy odd things like compost bags and hemp seeds. But no coconut milk.

However, this is all a drop in the bucket compared with Monday. Our usual morning routine is that I leash the dog, make sure the kids are appropriately dressed and that they have their backpacks, then I unlock our (unattached) garage, and open the van’s sliding door. The dog jumps in, the kids pile in, we go to school, and then I take the dog to the off leash dog park. On Monday I took the kids to school, met my friend who walks with me, drove to the dog park, met our other friend with her dog, and I opened the van’s sliding door to get Barkley. THE VAN WAS EMPTY. And I will say this about myself: I am terrible in a crisis. I am not at all good in an emergency. When I realized the dog wasn’t in the car, I kept saying “OMG OMG OMG BARKLEY’S NOT HERE WHERE’S BARKLEY HE’S NOT HERE OMG OMG” until my girlfriends calmly told me to go home, look for him, and to text them when I had more information. Off I went. I turned into the alley, opened the garage door…and out came Barkley. He apparently was in the garage for the half hour or so that all this took to happen. Poor puppy! And also that experience – the thought that my dog could be lost, wandering the neighbourhood – ratcheted up my stress level. Good thing Dr. Hipster didn’t see me at that moment. My self-awareness was taking a break.

Just call me Lynn Raisman.

I’m not sure how you parents of children in highly competitive sports do it. This weekend was the Candy Cane Shiah at the boys’ karate dojo, and the boys each competed in a kata and a weapons division. The whole time I was a bundle of nerves and it was the Candy Cane Shiah, a very friendly and fun competiton. I felt like Aly Raisman’s mother, except all that dialogue was going on in my head and also, I didn’t really know the routines that they were doing. STICK IT STICK IT YEAHHHHHH. Mark got a bronze in kata and a silver in weapons in his division, and Jake got a silver in kata and a GOLD in weapons. This is what he looked like after winning:

So that was pretty fun. The entire day they walked around the house wearing their medals, like they medaled in an actual Olympic event. It was a constant jangle all day long.

This photo says everything about their personalities. Last night the boys were working on math sheets, practicing for unit tests on Tuesday. I looked over Mark’s word problems, which were all correct but just had the answers written down, no setting up of the problem, no work.

Me: Mark, you have to show your work. 801 is the correct answer, but how did you get it?

Mark: Um, I regrouped. In my head.

Jake was working on greater than/ less than problems, and the question specifically asked “How do you know?”. Jake wrote “Because I know math.” Partial credit?

The weekend before last we decorated our gingerbread house, and I feel like we’ve made gargantuan strides in this area. Part of this is the fact that I buy the pre-made house with the pre-mixed frosting and the pre-cut-out gingerbread characters, and before you say well, YEAH, you have to be an idiot not to make something decent out of that much pre-fabricated festivity, I invite you to see the house from 2011. But look at this year’s offerings! I am going to admit that this is the year that I have had the least involvement with the decoration, and it is also our best house ever. Possible correlation. I was too busy making the gingerbread Christmas tree to really fuss over the frosting lines on the roof, but it turns out my husband is remarkably competent in this area.

Those are my husband’s hands, not mine, wielding the frosting.

 

That is supposed to be me, in gingerbread woman-form. Aren’t I lovely?
See, the little tree was taking up all my efforts. And the red snowman…I don’t know. It wouldn’t be a gingerbread house in the Boyhouse if there wasn’t some kind of dead/ bloody/ blown up/ violent component.
Mark made a smiley face on the side of the house – the windows are the eyes. Jake put that blob of red frosting there, showing where the nuclear explosion was. I should maybe be concerned.

Baby Got Back Pain

At my weekly Co-Op trip on Wednesday, I was the sole person – other than the employees – under the age of seventy. It was all hatted-and-matching-scarved ladies and some older gentlemen and one couple who put me in mind of Lewis and Bethany, arguing with the butcher about the cut of roast pork these days. Fortunately I missed the advent of the senior’s bus, and was instead faced with several lovely old people: I had an in-depth conversation with an elderly man about the sweetness of Mandarin oranges at this time of year, and how this is an exceptional year for them. I chatted with an old lady about how Nothing Compares To Garden-Grown Tomatoes, But These Cherry Tomatoes Are Rather Tasty. I even flirted with an octogenarian who winked at me as I looked at a package of candy canes, asking if I had a sweet tooth because I looked like a sweet lady. Well, some of us are just not sweet enough, I responded, holding up the box of candy. This is what my life has come to, people. Flirting with eighty year old men who are on their way back to the Home.

Maybe I was feeling at one with the elderly because I was moving like one. I hurt my back this week, shovelling the endless drifting snow. Although I strongly believe that shovelling snow is a man’s job, let’s celebrate the patriarchy, here, honey, have a shovel, I find it hard to justify leaving the snow to my husband when he leaves work at 7:00 pm and then sits in traffic for an hour, while I am technically home all day. But I was busy baking cookies only gets you so far, people.

In any case, the other day I was attempting to chisel packed down snow and ice off the sidewalk when I hit a ridge in said sidewalk. I could practically feel my spine reverberate. I have been meaning to consult a chiropractor for a while (read: a few years), since I have felt like my hips are out of alignment, and the crazy back pain I was experiencing expedited this process.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? I have not. I used to think the whole profession was based on a whole bunch of back cracking hoo-ha, but my husband has been going to one for years and it really has made a difference for him. Let the records show that I have been changed! So I made an appointment with a nearby office, and sat in the little room on a strange little bench, waiting and reading back issues of Chatelaine.

Now, I don’t know what the medical professionals in your life are like, but mine are a fairly stout and frumpy lot, scrub-wearing and jovial. They are decidedly unattractive and have that comfortable vibe that says that they are above such things. So I was a little surprised to see my chiropractor, who visually could only be described as a hipster. All that was missing was a scarf and an ironic moustache. But a good life lesson for us all is to not judge a book by its cover; as it turns out the hipster chiro immediately located my issue, which – apparently – may have developed during pregnancy. Pregnancy! That was a while ago.

Speaking of hipsters, every time the chiro mentioned my sacroiliac, I internally hummed Let Your Backbone Slide, which shows how hip I am.