Anyone else have a crush on Mike the hitman?

Wowza, it’s been quite a strange week.  I was eyeing the bottle of wine on the counter, wondering if it would be acceptable to enjoy a glass before dinner; it’s a Friday after all, I spent ninety minutes standing in the playground this afternoon, my husband is working late as usual and what the hell.  I need no more excuses.  I cracked that baby open and am now enjoying a polite, lady-sized glass which will be replaced by a few big-ass trashy ones later.  IT’S FRIDAY.

Yesterday I was contemplating ending it all, or at least drinking myself into oblivion, because I could not get the song Crystal Blue Persuasion out of my head.  Those of you who have been watching Breaking Bad may understand why this is pertinent.  My husband and I have been watching this show for a few months now, and now that we are all caught up on episodes, I am feeling bereft and wondering what I have left to live for, on weekend evenings at least.  Anyone want to talk about Breaking Bad?  Because I’m kind of upset it’s all over until the SUMMER.  I’m also realizing that there is something inherently wrong with me; no one else seems to have a crush on Mike the hitman.

Crystal Blue Persuasion was soon replaced by – oddly enough – Old Time Rock and Roll.  If there is a song that can possibly be more “get people out on the dance floor at a wedding”, I would like to know what it is.  In fact, dancing with my husband’s best friend – who was our wedding MC – to that song is one of my favourite memories from my wedding.  Other than getting married to my awesome husband and being totally the centre of attention, of course.  That was pretty fun too.

Old Time Rock and Roll seems a standard at weddings, bringing about nice memories of happily drunken dancing.  See also: YMCA, Do the Locomotion (with the bride leading the chain), Macarena, Celebration, and, of course, the Chicken Dance.  For my wedding, my brother gave me a card with a picture of a very drunken guest, tie on head, yelling at the band “Play Freebird!” while the bride and groom danced sedately.  The caption: “Why You Shouldn’t Have an Open Bar”.  We did have an open bar at our wedding, however I am fairly sure we didn’t play Freebird.  Freebird!  The 70s was a great time for such songs.  Freebird, Baby Don’t Get Hooked On Me, and By The Time I Get To Phoenix.  All songs about how monogamy is the WORST, apparently, and only suckers go for it.  Suckers who do not wish for a life of loneliness and STD’s, I guess.  The other day I was listening to Summer Breeze, one of my favourite songs, and I was struck at the idyllic picture of domesticity it portrays, given that it was written in the 70s.  Did the writers not know that casual and unprotected sex was where it was at?  *draws a square in the air with fingers*

A little note on open bars: I voiced a slight concern about one of our wedding guests – a notable messy drunk – and my aunt gave me these words of wisdom, “There is a drunken idiot at every wedding.  In my case, it was my husband.”  BURN.

I opened up my computer today and in the “news headlines” was a story about child stars – where are they now?  The star in question pictured was Tina Yothers, so I had to click on the link since Tina Yothers looks uncannily like one of my cousins.  It turns out that Tina Yothers – and most of the other child stars – are not really doing much, from a Hollywood standpoint, unless you count reality television, which I do not.  However, I was stunned – STUNNED – to discover this little piece of information: Leonardo DiCaprio was on Growing Pains.  He was?  This feels like something I should have known, although why I should know this I’m unsure since I essentially am terrible at pop culture.  I’m not as bad as my dad, however, who confuses Will Smith with Samuel L. Jackson.  DAD.  It’s the Fresh Prince versus Mace Windu.

My plan for this post was to copy Amber Strocel and compile a “happiness list” but right now I have wine and After Eights on it.  Oh, and this cashew “cheese” recipe.  Oh!  I just thought of something else: my husband, dear man, bought me my very own copies of The Breakfast Club (Judd Nelson – where is he now?) and Say Anything (ditto Ione Skye).  Squee!  That’s happiness right there, on a DVD.  Ditched in the Malibu! It’s your castle!  I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen.  Diane Court is a show pony, and you, my friend, are a stallion.   

Am I digressing?  I’m digressing.  There are lots of things that make me happy but at the moment I cannot adequately organize my thoughts into a list.  I got too distracted after I found this kind of awesome live version of Freebird on youtube.  And this bird you cannot tame.  Also this post has taken longer than I initially thought to write, and now I’m onto big-ass trashy glasses of wine.  What are we talking about?  Whee!  Happy Friday!


  1. I love the big-ass trashy glass of wine! Yes Leonardo was on Growing Pains and George Clooney was on The Facts of Life and Roseanne.

    • Shut the front door! George Clooney was on The Facts of Life? You take the good you take the bad you take them both and there you have the facts of life? The facts of life are all about you? ARE YOU KIDDING. And Roseanne? ROSEANNE? I have no words. NONE.

  2. I do, oddly, remember Leonardo on Growing Pains. And George on The Facts of Life and Roseanne (BAD hair, super extra BAD). I tried to watch Breaking Bad and I only made it through one episode – it creeps me out, which I realize is really dumb since I watch The Walking Dead, but there you have it. Truthfully, Bryant Cranston creeps me out a little, even in Malcolm in the Middle.

    *draws a square in the air with fingers* HA. And I’m not even drunk, just very tired and so cold I can hardly type. Going to go put my freezing fingers on my sleeping husband.

  3. I read Claire’s comment and was wondering if I was brave enough to ‘fess up to knowing about Leo and George’s OTHER life. I am doing so only because Bibliomama went first.

    I love Baby Don’t Get Hooked On Me and still remember the first time I heard it: on the Muppets. Mac Davis serenaded Ms Piggy. She was a mermaid. Or rather a merpig.

  4. It’s on YOUTUBE! It’s actually more inappropriate than I remember. Wowza.

  5. OK, I’ll make you all feel better – I knew about Leo diCaprio being on Growing Pains because I was still *watching* GP faithfully, every week, and they brought him on in the final season as a scruffy troubled street urchin that the Seavers adopted (NO REALLY). And my sister and I were instantly smitten with him, and I may have spent actual cash monies buying copies of various teen magazines that featured pull-out posters you can hang on your wall! of his glorious cheekbones.


  6. I completely remember Leonardo on Growing Pains. I hated his character and felt it was a sign of the End Times for Growing Pains…which it was. It’s taken me a long time to get little kid Leo out of my head when I look at him actually. So glad that he’s finally looking properly aged.

  7. More than properly aged, if you ask me – he seems to have gone from twelve to Marlon Brando in his less attractive phase, with no appropriate stage in between.

Leave a Reply