What We Have Here Is A Failure To Communicate
A while ago, my husband’s friend went to see Guns and Roses in concert in Vancouver, which is at least a four hour drive from here, meaning that this was not just an evening out. It was a commitment. Concert tickets these days are not what they once were, and accommodations in Vancouver are also pricey, so I imagine it was not an inexpensive endeavour. It probably would have been worth it to this sixtysomething rocker, had the band played even one of their many, many hits. But no. Guns and Roses spent the entire concert playing all new material.
I can understand an artist wanting to share new work with the world; I am not sure I would want to continue doing the same thing over and over for four decades. I can understand that it would get tiring, as Elin Hildebrand said on her podcast about her annual Nantucket books, that people want the same thing every year, but make it different. And yet, I do feel that a band with such stature as Guns and Roses, who charges exorbitant fees and who has an extensive catalogue of excellent, much-loved music, should give the people what they want.
This is why I love cover bands. I ADORE a cover band. If we go somewhere and there is a cover band playing the hits, you can bet I am going to get that dance floor started. This past Friday my husband and I went to see The Hip Replacements, which is the very witty name of our local Tragically Hip cover band, and it was so much fun. I danced all night, got home late, and paid for it the next day with sore feet, a sore throat from singing, and general exhaustion due to my inability to sleep in no matter what time I go to bed. It was worth it!
But back to Guns and Roses. I always, always have a song stuck in my head at all times, but in the past few weeks I have had three on rotating repeat, for a variety of reasons.
Sweet Child of Mine
A few months ago I heard a piano version of Sweet Child of Mine, and I immediately purchased and downloaded the sheet music. What fun! And also, whoa nelly. Look at this key!
It’s a challenge, let’s put it that way, a challenge that is peppered with unusual C flats and tricky fingering. I’m working hard at learning all eight pages of it, the result of which is that the tune loops through my head many times a day. She’s got eyes of the bluest sky I’ll think as I roll out my yoga mat, looking at the morning breaking. Where do we go now I’ll hum as I look for something in the pantry.
Welcome To The Jungle
Sweet Child of Mine gives up its place in my brain every morning when I head down to the garden, at which time Welcome To The Jungle wedges its way in.
The tomatoes are going rogue.
My arms are completely covered in scratches from squeezing between the raspberries and the zucchinis. Wear sleeves! my husband says helpfully, forgetting that I am a perimenopausal woman working outdoors in the height of the Okanagan summer, and that wearing sleeves feels as comfortable as donning a medieval suit of armour.
You’re in the jungle, baby, you’re going to die! is something that inappropriately floats through my head as I serenely build the sand mandala that is weeding.
Patience
Those two songs have been in my head constantly, but a third popped in last week when I was at Costco. I don’t know if this is a seasonal fluctuation, but for the past few months every time I go into Costco I think it just can’t get worse than this and then, somehow, it does. Said woman, take it slow, it’ll work itself out fine, I mentally sang to myself while completely immobilized in the dry goods aisle, with unmoving carts before, beside, and behind me. All we need is just a little patience I thought, waiting for throngs of carts to move so I could exit the freezer aisle.
I congratulated myself on making it out without internal impotent rage, and then I saw this beside my car.
It takes so much more effort to wedge a cart’s front wheels up onto the median without destroying the vehicles around it, particularly since the carrel was mere steps away.
I wasn’t as bothered as I usually would be, because I was still pondering a very kind, but odd, compliment I had received at the pharmacy. The young fellow – I would place him in his late twenties – talked to me about my prescription and then said Oh, by the way, I love your hair! I responded with a grateful and enthusiastic thanks, to which he followed up with It’s so old-timey! Like a 1940s movie star.
Listen, I will take any compliment, no matter how strange. And I’ve always thought it would be wonderful to swan through life in soft focus like Ingrid Bergman in Casablanca. Old-timey isn’t exactly a compliment I expected, but I will take what I can get, and just hope he didn’t mean Joan Crawford or Bette Davis in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane.
Weekly Reading
The book flood continues!
Luckily, I have had a lot of uninterrupted reading time this week; after the guys got back from Vancouver, my husband went camping with some buddies for a few days, and I camped out on the deck for hours every day with my trusty reading partner.
Laundry Love. I put this on my TBR five years ago – and then promptly forgot about it. It wasn’t until my friend Stephany (HI STEPHANY) mentioned this that I metaphorically slapped my forehead and took it from TBR to my library pile. And I know what you’re thinking: an entire book about LAUNDRY? Yes. Not only is it a delightful, joyful meditation on caring for our clothes, each other, and the planet, but it also contains everything you ever wanted to know about the act of laundry, including how-tos about washing wedding dresses, wool suits, and fur coats, in case anyone actually has their grandma’s furs. I don’t, obviously, but I still found it interesting, and also oddly inspirational.
Flashlight. My writing friend Jen (HI JEN) told me about this densely layered, nuanced, and complex novel about a father and daughter who disappear while walking along a beach in Japan. The daughter washes up ashore, alive, while the father does not. The story is so much more, and takes turns I was not expecting. I learned so much about the relations between Japan and Korea – both during and after World War II – as well as the relationship of North Korea to its neighbours and to the US. The three main characters all have trauma and are all incredibly, deeply unlikeable. The writing is so good that I felt physically uncomfortable reading about their fraught interactions with each other and with the world at large; there were a few times that I had to look away from the book, so awful do these people behave. The reading experience was immersive and compelling, and one of the adjacent characters was so completely delightful that it almost made up for the nastiness of the others. A really excellent book, so well-written and executed.
Upward Bound. I would term this book as autofiction; the story is about the clients and staff at Upward Bound, a day care program for adults with severe disabilities. The author himself is the first nonspeaking autistic graduate of UCLA, and I understand there is some controversy surrounding whether or not he actually wrote this book, or if his mother stepped in while he used Facilitated Communication. To be frank, I do not give a fuck if he literally wrote it or not, that is not the point. The point of this book is to bring humanity and understanding to an underserved population, a voice to the voiceless. And if his mother did write it? Well, it’s not much different from ghostwriting, is it? It’s a moving collection of chapters from different points of view, and I think it can only help bring compassion towards people who are very much othered in our society.
The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano. I love thinking about different paths our lives can take, and this book is all about that very thing. Rose is a woman who has never wanted children, and she’s always been clear about it. Her husband agrees, but then after they are married he changes his mind. This book goes through all different scenarios, a choose-your-own-adventure, if you will. I love books about marriage, particularly when there is strife, complication, and extramarital action. This book has it all and more, and I really enjoyed it. I thought it was a very nuanced and powerful statement on what it is to be a woman in our society, the pressures and resentments, the difficulties and the joys. I especially like that the book is not laid out linearly, rather all the lives are scattered throughout the book, so it kept me very engaged, even through the initial scene about prenatal vitamins, a fight that is repeated throughout the book. Thanks to Lisa (HI LISA) for the recommendation!
I’m looking forward to a pretty normal summer week; more gardening, more reading, and a nice afternoon with the girls coming up! I hope you are all having a beautiful July so far. xo
I laughed and laughed over this: “Wear sleeves! my husband says helpfully, forgetting that I am a perimenopausal woman working outdoors in the height of the Okanagan summer, and that wearing sleeves feels as comfortable as donning a medieval suit of armour.”
I couldn’t help but picture you in chainmail and a rigid suit of metal walking a la Tin Man through your garden.
Summer is usually my “low” point of the reading year, but I am reading SO MUCH right now. Which means I am neglecting some other aspects of my life but so be it, right. I have a feeling you would approve.
What is with the shopping cart?? I feel the same way about peope who will take the time to scoop up dog poop in the little green bags AND THEN THEY DROP IT ON THE SIDEWALK. Who does this??? Why?? If you’re going to be considerate enough to not leave it fresh and steaming on the sidewalk, and you’re taking the time to BAG it, why can you not take it home to your own garbage can. It defies belief, irks me to no end, and continues to happen regularly where I live.
I was picturing myself in Henry the VIII armour, complete with comically oversized codpiece. “Just going to pick the tomatoes.”
OMG I have seen people do that as well with the dog poop, and I knew someone who did it regularly, because she “didn’t want to carry it and was coming back to get it.” On a loop, I guess. But. The fact remains that NO ONE KNOWS you intend to go back and get it and also, ew. It’s really odd to me, it’s not like it’s a huge weight to carry!
I love that pic of the cart right beside the carrel, it made me laugh!! Your garden is just the best and I now have even more books to place on my TBR. 🙂
THE CARREL IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, WHAT IS HAPPENING?
My TBR, as well as my actual library stack, has careened out of control.
The Hip Replacements! Love that name. And I too love your hair – it looks so effortlessly glamourous. I want to read Flashlight at some point. I was at the TO author’s festival last year and I heard the author interviewed about it. There was something she said about deliberately opting to create some distance with one of the characters. Can’t remember the details, but I want to see if this strikes me when I read it.
Ooooh I wonder which character it was? Hmm, I’m going to have to think about it. It was a really excellent book, and omg, the characters are all so unlikeable!
Thank you for the hair love!
Huh! That is an odd compliment! I think Pearl (above) has the right idea- I’m guessing he meant your hair looks glamorous. It is kind of a funny thing to say though. Ah, youth!
I’ve actually read two of the books in your stack- Writers and Lovers, and Remains of the Day. And I’m intrigued by Rose Napolitano- it sounds good.
The Hip Replacements is a HILARIOUS name for a band…
Writers and Lovers is the reread for me! But since I recently (not that recently, I guess) read Heart the Lover I wanted to reread it and I’ve been in the queue for so long! So I didn’t feel like I could skip it!
Haha! Yep, we all know he meant “glamorous” when he said “old-timey”! And he was definitely thinking Ingrid, not Bette. 😄
It reminds me of something that happens to me surprisingly often in races. It actually happened again at the glacier race two weeks ago: a runner passes me, compliments me, and then completely ruins the moment by adding, “I want to be that fit when I’m old.” 😂
I know they mean it in the nicest possible way, so I just laugh and say thank you. (For full disclosure: I passed that runner about 10 minutes later because he got cramps. Karma! 😅)
Hahahaha omg. It’s meant well but it comes across so oddly! It’s a huge compliment! But also…um…maybe the wording could be tweaked somewhat!
This is like when I was doing a volunteer thing with some teen girls who found out my age – I think I was like in my early 40s – and this girl said “Wow, you’re totally older than my mom, but way cooler!” Thanks?
People are so damn lazy! I can’t with the shopping cart. Like you said, it’s more work to lift the cart over the median. Ugh.
I’d have been infuriated by the lack of hits played by GNR. I feel as though I dodged a bullet with the Todd Rundgren concert we were supposed to attend in 2020. Currently, all people do is complain about his concerts; he talks more than sings. And it’s all politics! Who TF cares?? A friend of mine is still angry about the John Mellencamp concert she paid good money to see and he refused to play any of his hits and instead just ranted about anything and everything.
This is why I love cover bands – they’re just playing the music and not using it as a vehicle for their own personal discussion! Can you imagine going to GNR and NOT ONE hit is played? What a shame.
I’m so glad that Nine Lives worked for you. I really enjoyed that book. Sliding Doors is one of my favorite movies, so give me Sliding Doors on drugs!! I really want to read Upward Bound. I agree that it doesn’t matter who wrote the book. It sounds like a wonderful story. And now I want to check out Flashlight.
Ugh, the shopping cart. What an a-hole. Who does that? I can’t think of a charitable way to excuse that behavior!
Well I love that a young whippersnapper complimented you. I mean given that he’s in his 20s, “old timey” could mean like the 70s? Like Farrah Fawcett-like waves? I think you have great hair, btw! I love your curls!
Your garden is a thing of beauty! I wish I could come and help weed and then eat some fresh produce. Yum. Lastly, all along I thought the lyrics were “sad woman…”. Lol.
Lisa, no. He literally used the words “1940s movie star.” Ha! I mean, okay, I’ll take it.
I also thought it was sad woman until recently, when I looked it up. But sad sounds better than said IMO!
I’m a big GNR fan, but c’mon…not playing at least a handful of your hits is inexcusable! I’m glad they’re passionate about their new tunes, but I’m sure most fans left the show disappointed.
I also love cover bands. We’ve seen quite a few in the day–including a Pink Floyd cover band called Pigs On the Wing in Portland. They did a Dark Side of the Rainbow show, where they played “Dark Side of the Moon” alongside “The Wizard of Oz” on a giant screen. So much fun!
Have you heard Chris Cornell’s cover of “Patience”?
Wow, that is very cool! Sounds like a very fun show. I like Chris Cornell but I haven’t heard that cover – I’ll look it up.
I’m with Mark over here. If I paid to see GNR and they didn’t play “Paradise City” or “November Rain,” I WOULD REVOLT. That is the point OF THE WHOLE THING.
I listen to a very popular true crime podcast called Casefile. The latest episode of this podcast was BANANAS. A girl gets kidnapped in Japan. Okay, seems normal enough for this type of podcast. When we get back from the break, the narrator starts talking about North Korea/Japan international relations and I WAS SO CONFUSED. But then it becomes relevant and suddenly it’s not a simple kidnapping! That’s all. It’s case 346, if anyone wants to listen. I assume Flashlight is similar in nature.
Let’s face it, NO ONE is going to GNR for their new material, or if they are, then they ALSO WANT THEIR OLD MATERIAL.
YES! That’s exactly the story of Flashlight!
I think “old timey” was meant more Ingrid Bergman than Bette Davis LOL!
More than the carts being dropped anywhere, I hate when people leave food like meat or frozen items in the canned goods or clothing area. Don’t they realize that means those items have to be thrown out due to food safety? All of that behaviour just seems so lazy and rude GAH!!
Have you read Pachinko? I learned a lot about Japanese/Korean relationships from that book that I had no idea about.
I just finished Jess Gibson’s short story collection The Good Eye. She’s Margaret Atwood and Graeme Gibson’s daughter. She’s very talented.
I saw this comment and immediately put both Pachinko and The Good Eye on hold! So thank you, and also, I hope they don’t come in for a while because I have SO MANY books right now!
You know what, I haven’t seen meat/ frozen goods anywhere except for their rightful places, and I’m glad because that would make me so angry! What a waste!
The Hip Replacements has to be the best band name ever! I agree with everyone that old timey means glamorous, and you definitely do have glamorous hair. The shopping cart photo made me laugh – I’m glad you didn’t fly into a rage. Perhaps the person had a good reason for leaving it there…like….well, I can’t think of a good reason when the carrel was right there!! The Sweet Child ‘O Mine sheet music looks tough! I’d sure love to hear you play it!!
Michelle, particularly after last week’s post, I really did try to think of a reason that person would have left the cart that way. And I have come up blank. IT IS MORE EFFORTFUL THAN WALKING IT TO THE CARREL.
I agree, The Hip Replacements is an amazing name, and they were really good! What a fun night that was.
Sweet Child of Mine IS SO HARD! But I’m working my way through it!
I think Baby Jane was the farthest thing from his mind! I’m with you on concerts that don’t include at least some favorites and cover bands are great. I loved “The Hip Replacements” — that’s brilliant!
Hahaha I mean, I hope Baby Jane was not on his mind! I guess we will never know!
I would be ticked if I showed up to see an old band like that and they played just new stuff. My husband says that’a when you go to the bathroom. I mean, if they advertised it as ‘GnR playing their new album!’ That’s one thing.
I’m still a little salty about 9 Lives. SPOILERS AHEAD for those reading comments – At first I was confused by it, and thought maybe that was a me problem, so I listened to it again. I liked it a LOT more, she is a really good writer. BUT (and this is a big one) in a book about a woman who does NOT want to have kids, I would really have liked at least one version where she has neither a child nor a stepchild. And why did the stepchild have the same name? I am going to give her another chance, maybe I’ll like her more recent book, but I thought the fact that in all 9 lives, she ended up being a parent, and LOVING it, kind of took away from the validity of her feelings. Like, ‘sure, the character SAYS she doesn’t want a kid, but truly, that will make her complete.’ Grrr.
I know what you mean, but I also think it is a really powerful commentary on society and on the pressures that women face, particularly to have children! Which we might not like but it is there. I loved the use of the same names, it felt very “multiverse!” I think it would not be a great audiobook experience, though. Too confusing!
YES J YES. This is my EXACT PROBLEM with this book. As a child-free woman, it drove me CRAZY that there was not ONE VERSION where she is child-free. It made no sense to me and it completely invalidates the whole premise of the story, in my opinion.
Thanks Stephany for weighing in!
Yeah…to be fair I haven’t heard GNR’s new stuff, but if I’m going to a concert I want their old stuff.
Have you read Writers and Lovers before? I adored it and thought that it was better than Heart the Lover but there is one tiny detail in the book that is bothering me. I’ll circle back when you read it.
I haven’t pulled the trigger on Upward Bound yet, but if it’s a good book then I don’t care how it was written.
I have read Writers and Lovers, but it was in 2022 so I don’t recall all the details – I wanted to reread it before I read Heart the Lover, but the timing didn’t work out! I loved it when I read it, I remember absolutely adoring it.
I wouldn’t say Upward Bound is a great book, but it made me think a lot about the conclusions people draw about nonverbal or disabled people, and I think it is well worth reading, however it was written!
Isn’t it amazing that there is a song for ALMOST any situation in life… may it be because of the literal lyrics, or because the melody makes us time travel to different times in our lives. (I agree though, a band like Guns’n’Roses MUST play at least a couple of their all-time favorite songs at a concert, even if they’re promoting a new album. They’re charging way too much for people’s loyalty otherwise.
I am not going to comment on the shopping cart (grrrrr). I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
Oh, and I read “The Nine Lives…” and remember how much I enjoyed it.
I totally agree, San. I feel like if the audience is filled with people of a certain age with certain nostalgic feelings who have paid $$$$$ to see them in concert, the least they could do is play the hits!
I’m surprised that GnR have new material and impressed that you can play GnR on the piano! That picture of Rex is adorable, I think he is saying Mom I’m more fun than reading!
I’m actually surprised Axl Rose is still alive! Let alone making new music!
i had to google what cover band means! hahaha… obviously i had no idea that you can have a concert playing other people’s songs. I like concert that play 2/3 of my favorites and 1/3 of new songs so that’s novelty to it. I notice that during the last 10-20 min of a hard run, i would go back to listen to my favorites for the comfort.
Oh, Coco, cover bands are so fun! It’s just a good time, usually in a very small venue. I love them!
I so agree on playing the hits. Concert ticket prices are so crazy now. We saw Springsteen years ago and he hardly played any songs we recognized. It was disappointing. When we are in Mexico there are cover bands & local bands ( including a lot of retired guys business guys that are REALLY good ). We go dancing minimum 2X a week! Dinner couple drinks & a few hours of music for under $100 and home by 9 lol. Wow good on you that piano piece. I can’t even read music so I’m very impressed!
OMG Pat, that would be so disappointing about Springsteen!!!
Your Mexico life sounds so much fun. Dancing and drinks and home by nine is my DREAM!
We saw Joni Mitchell about 25 years ago, when she’d just put out the Both Sides Now album of standards. The concert was just the album, in order, no encores. We knew this going in so we weren’t disappointed, but it would have been if we’d expected her hits. Speaking of people from that era, we saw Graham Nash last summer and he was very accommodating about playing what peopled probably came to hear.
I think I would find it strange if I went and just heard an album, in order. But I guess if you know that going in, it wouldn’t be.
Oooh Graham Nash! That would be interesting!
I am obsessed with the movie “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”, a film I first saw when I was just a kid. My mother is completely addicted to old movies, and she never really cared if we were in the room while she was watching them even if they weren’t exactly kid-friendly.
Do an image search of Rita Hayworth, and you’ll feel completely awesome about that remark concerning your hair!
Rita Hayworth is gorgeous, as are so many of those (poor abused) stars from that time – and I definitely appreciate the compliment, it was just so unexpected from a young man! I also love Whatever Happened To Baby Jane – Bette Davis is WILD in that movie – omg just thought of the rat – and I love that Davis and Crawford were in a FEUD. I love hearing about feuds, they are so juicy.
I can’t understand why GNR would not play at least a mix of old and new songs. At least play the classics and keep the fans happy.
I too love cover bands. E had a great one for his wedding and you better believe that once the dancing started I did not leave the dance floor until the band packed up. We also go to a wine and music festival each year in November that is all cover bands. Love it!
With the music it might have been easier to transpose up one tone as long as you’re not wanting to play along to a recording. It probably wouldn’t have taken much work, cross out the flats and add in what is probably only a limited number of sharps.
Oh that sounds like such a fun wedding! I love that!
Hmmm….I guess I could do that! I never thought of transposing the music. Hmm! Maybe I’ll try!
I went to a concert earlier this year of this fiddle/ cello duo that I’ve loved for years but had never heard live, and they played all new music, which was still fun, but also a little disappointing. And then, mid way through the concert they revealed that it was their farewell tour. What the what?? I feel like you have to play the beloved pieces on your farewell tour. Oh well – I guess I still have the CDs.
There was an article in the Wall Street Journal (I think it was?) about the psychology of not returning shopping carts. I’ll have to look it up and send you a link.
WHAT. I agree! It’s your farewell tour and you’re not going to play old favourites? GET OUT OF HERE WITH THAT!
I think all shopping cart misdeeds would be solved by retrofitting all carts to be coin-operated. The Superstore has that and never, ever is there an errant cart!
Hi Nicole! I swear I commented on this post on MONDAY, but then it didn’t post and when I tried to post it later the comment form called me a nonce. Or perhaps it said something about nonce without directly implicating me. 😉
Anyway, I loved this post and I am appalled that GNR would think anyone would want to hear their new material. No. November Rain and Sweet Child of Mine and Knocking on Heaven’s Door, please and thank you.
I love cover bands, too, but my favorites are the ones who play a wide variety of songs by different artists. A dear college friend had a band in college, and they have recently reconnected (to play at our twentieth reunion), so it’s a double whammy of nostalgia to see them perform. A) They sound exactly like they did in the early aughts and B) they play all the very best songs from our college years, Weezer and Blink 182 and Green Day and the like. So good.
NICOLE. After I read this post, I was at the grocery store. There is a big corral for carts right inside the entryway of the store, and I was leaving and only had one bag, so I removed it and put my cart away. You literally walk right past it as you leave. The woman leaving at the same time, who also had only one bag, just abandoned her cart right in the middle of the entry! Not three feet from the cart corral! WHAT AND WHY?!?!
WHY WOULD A PERSON DO THAT? I mean, she was 99% of the way there! Just go all the way!
Suzanne! I love the kind of cover band that does all sorts of songs by all different artists! That’s my favourite too! It’s just so much fun.
Sometimes wordpress is just like that, ugh!
I have such strong opinions about that Rose Napolitano book, most of which I already expressed in my comment to J. But as someone who is child-free, it drove me CRAZY that there was not one single storyline where she wasn’t a parent in some way. The whole POINT is that she doesn’t want kids!!! Gah. It made me so mad because it feels like it invalidates her whole desire to be child-free, AND invalidates anyone who has chosen that life, too. I think the author could have done something so much more interesting with these nine lives, and it was disappointing to me.
Anyway, I’m glad you loved Laundry Love, too! It was a fun, quick read and Patric is so delightful.
He IS delightful! And I learned quite a bit from it as well. The part where he discusses going to help a bride get rid of a marker stain on her dress…well, it was such a vivid picture and I loved it!
Our city’s civic center has cover bands once a month all summer long. It’s a tradition we love to joke about, but honestly, we love it so much. One of the bands is called BonJourneyed or something similar. We have so much fun with the names. The best part is that it’s free! And these bands sound as good as—if not better than—the originals!
Your zinnias are so big! Mine haven’t even begun to bloom yet!
BONJOURNEYED!!! Something tells me I would love that so much.
The zinnias are busy doing their thing – being beautiful!
My friend’s ex-boyfriend plays in a band called Mellencougar. I don’t think I need to tell you whose music they play. 🤣
*screams with joy*
If I went to a Guns N ‘ Roses concert and they didn’t play Welcome To The Jungle, or Patience, or Sweet Child O’ Mine, I’d burn the place down.
We just had the most amazing cover band play on July Fourth—they’ve been together and touring for twenty-six years; I was SO impressed!
Your zinnias are thriving, my friend!
The shopping cart offender was literally spared the wrath because of the weird compliment in the pharmacy. This is how the universe works.
Same, girl, I would be pouring lighter fluid and everything!
I just caught up on your July Fourth and I am staring into space wondering if you are actually superhuman! Suz! What you did was amazing!
Wait, did you say if you enjoyed the Lily King book, Writers and Lovers? I’m interested because I loved Heart The Lover.
Suz, yes! I read it in 2022 and loved it and now am rereading it because I recently read Heart the Lover. She is such a good writer!
I will add it to my list!