Our houseguests have gone home and it occurred to me, not for the first time, that our friendship is rare, in the world of Couple Friends: all four of us get along, as they say, like a house on fire. Not only that, but our kids all get along. Our older kids were born on the exact same day, only two hours apart, and even though those two had that special bond, they both have fun with the other two as well. In other words, all eight of us get along in any and all permutations and combinations, and I think that is very special. These are Our Friends, as opposed to friends who “belong” more to one partner than the other.
I don’t believe that when you get married, you have to share everything, even friends. There are things that are shared and there are things that are individual, and this extends to household items. The houseplants are mine, the leaf blower is my husband’s. The Peloton is mine, the squat rack is his. We share the Vitamix but each have our own coffee maker; mine is a standard drip pot, his is a fancy espresso machine that I refuse to learn how to work. The grills are his and the stand mixer is mine, the puzzle board is shared property. The televisions and sound systems are his, the piano is mine. The camper is his, but I think he wishes it was ours. Alas for him.
Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Mine, His, Ours Edition
Ours: Wine Tastings
If you visit me, there is a 100% chance that I will take you for a wine tasting. It is my number one activity to do with houseguests, and there is a special, personal reason for it that goes beyond my love of wine: my husband’s family used to own the vineyard and winery that is now Tantalus. My husband’s grandfather worked to own the land, and my husband himself planted a number of the old Riesling plants that are still producing fruit. The backstory might be his, but I count this as ours since our son now works for this very vineyard. And also, again, I love wine.
Mine: The Veggie Garden
I mentally split up our yard as well as the interior of our house. The large perennial border is ours, but the lawn is definitely his. The veggie garden, on the other hand, is mine. It’s early in the season yet, but everything is coming up nicely. I have already harvested the arugula, and the kale will not be far behind.
Anyone else hear the ominous music playing? IT BEGINS.
Every year, I kind of forget the vast volume of greens we get. It’s a good problem to have! Arugula salad for all!
His: The Iris Garden
I think of our flower planters as ours, but also a little bit mine, while the iris garden is definitely his. There were several old irises and tulips growing above the rock wall that lines our carport when we moved here, and my husband has spent a lot of time restoring the overgrown bed, weeding and dividing and planting. May is the month it really shines!
Mine: Gnomes
This is an obvious one; the gnomes are clearly mine. This year I decided to hide them all within the gardens, and seeing them poke out between the plants makes me smile. It’s the kind of thing I would have loved as a child, hidden gnomes, and it brings me so much delight.
Mine: Special Sunscreen
When we travel, my husband does not pack shampoo because, as he says, hotels always provide it. This is true, but also, I will never not take my own hair care products. Who knows what kind of products they have? Who knows what state my hair will be in, using some random product? What if they only have 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner? Relatedly, he uses the same sunscreen on his face that he uses on his body and there, as with using hotel shampoo, I draw a very thick and bold line. I am very choosy about the sunscreen I will use on my face, and my current favourite is one that my friend Suzanne alerted me to: Neutrogena Face Serum Sunscreen. (HI SUZANNE)
It doesn’t leave a residue, it absorbs quickly, and it works under makeup. What more do I want from a sunscreen, other than SPF protection?
The makeup table that the sunscreen is pictured on is something else that is mine, and mine alone, although the ensuite is ours.
Outfit of the Month
I don’t think I have ever in my entire life considered my husband’s opinion when I buy clothes or get dressed. I just assume that if I like my outfit, he will too, but even if he didn’t, it would have no effect on my sartorial choices. As my beloved Aunty C says, I dress for me.
To that end, this month’s outfit involves a black tee from the Gap, Skechers shoes, the world’s most comfortable pants from Lululemon, and a silk scarf from Cambodia. I wore this for a girl’s lunch out, but I think this is a perfect travel outfit. I’ve had those pants for years and they are versatile, light, and stretchy. What more do I want out of pants?
Of course, this blog is mine, and mine alone. Perhaps my husband would have a different view on things, but he doesn’t have a blog! I’m pretty sure he agrees on the iris garden, makeup table, and gnomes though. What are your favourite things this month, friends? Tell me everything. xo
We got married kind of late in life (36) so I feel like we have less that is “ours” and more that is his/hers. We are both fiercely independent people but we meld well together. The house is “ours” but nearly all of our furniture was acquired before we got married so there are things we own that the other person wouldn’t have chosen (like my dining room table which I love – he’d prefer a different style or the area rugs he purchased which are fine but not what I would have chosen). And the piano is definitely mine! I’ve heard people refer to marriages as either start-ups or mergers; ours is definitely a merger!
A new favorite thing for me this past month is chia seeds! I eat them in my yogurts and oatmeal. They can be annoying to pick out of my teeth but it’s a nice way to get some extra fiber (trying to get more fiber = “tell me you are in your 40s/50s without telling me you are in your 40s/50s).
You have a beautiful property. I love the hidden gnomes and I am envious of the garden. Between a cold spring and Beth being gone for the past couple weeks we’re behind getting plants in the ground. Preparing the beds is a her-job. Plus, even if I wanted to dig them up, I’m about to leave to join her and we won’t be home until the second week of June, so I’m not sure how much of a garden we’ll actually have this year. It depends on how well the seedlings in pots do without me looking over them.
I’m with your husband on the shampoo while travelling. I just use whatever the accommodations provide. Sunscreen though – yes, face and body have entirely two different needs. Love your gnomes and your garden and taking your guests to a winery. What a delightful hostess you must be. Things I’m loving this month: flowers on my counter, getting together with friends and so much laughter! You can’t underestimate the power of a good belly laugh.
That friendship sounds AMAZING! You’re truly lucky to have that.
I love the hidden gnomes, and I love those black pants! They’re Lululemon- do they still make them? Which ones? I want them!!
I feel like I should know this, but am drawing a blank- what kind of wine do you drink??
I have always been in more of a mine/yours kind of couple. I mean, definitely there were things that were bought when together, or activities that were done together or friends that were shared, but I think I will always keep my own bank account and I don’t really like people borrowing certain things of mine. As far as skincare, I think your husband and I are kindred spirits, as I always just use the hotel shampoo and I put the same sunscreen all over my body (including face).
I feel like 90% in our house is mine LOL – my husband is so very non-materialistic and he often sighs if I bring home another thing (which often turns out to be something he likes/enjoys but would have never thought about or bought himself). I wish my husband would be a little bit more “into things”…
Your garden is amazing, I live vicariously through your raised beds, your vegetable bounty, and your delightful gnomes!
Your outfit looks so comfy and chic, and I love that scarf!