Almost all my “last day of school” photos feature the kids wearing fleece-lined, windproof jackets and jeans because this is Calgary, and goddamn if Mother Nature is going to listen to anyone bitching about the “heat”. You don’t like the “heat”, motherfuckers? How about rain and gale-force winds then? HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES? […]
What do Count Almasy and Elaine Benes have in common?
June 19, 2014 by 10 Comments
You know how some pop-culture moments stay with you for many years after their relevance has dissipated? Nothing dates a person faster than saying something like “Where’s the beef?” or “How YOU doin’?” and yet, I find myself unable to stop. If I’m making lasagne, I constantly say “VEGETABLE LASAGNE” like Elaine Benes, if I’m […]
The 2010 Olympic Mascots, Four Years Later
June 16, 2014 by 6 Comments
Approximately fifty-two months ago, something magical happened; that magical thing was the 2010 Olympics. The kids at the time were in pre-kindergarten and kindergarten, and they were extremely interested in the Olympics: the events, the location, and the mascots. Especially the mascots. At one of my myriad book fairs, there was a book about the […]
Can I Handle The Seasons Of My Life? Uh huh.
June 6, 2014 by 8 Comments
Although there are now less than three weeks left in the school year, today we had a PD day. At first I thought it would be nice to have a lazy day at home, but I casually mentioned “renewing our zoo passes” and the kids lost their minds. The zoo! The zoo! THE ZOOOOOOOOOO! Even […]
A Mix of Agnes Skinner and Nick Nolte
May 28, 2014 by 2 Comments
It’s been so beautiful, sunny, and warm here and is forecasted to be so for the entire long-term forecast – except for today. Today it’s cool and rainy and the boys are on a field trip to the zoo. Have fun, guys! This brings to mind the last field trip to the zoo, when Mark […]
It’s My Bag, Baby
May 1, 2014 by 9 Comments
I love my neighbourhood. Today, within a 45 minute span, I did the following: dropped off the kids at school, went to the bank, went to the library where I got a new card to replace the one I’ve had for probably 30 years, bought dog food, put gas in the van, and picked up […]
Get Off My Lawn
April 14, 2014 by 7 Comments
Ever since I complained about my too-tight-post-vacation pants, my Facebook feed has been full of advertisements regarding the most efficient way to get rid of belly fat, the one simple exercise to rid myself of belly fat, the one surprising food to avoid to eliminate belly fat, and ways to become bikini ready in just […]
