School’s Out!

Almost all my “last day of school” photos feature the kids wearing fleece-lined, windproof jackets and jeans because this is Calgary, and goddamn if Mother Nature is going to listen to anyone bitching about the “heat”. You don’t like the “heat”, motherfuckers? How about rain and gale-force winds then? HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?


Seriously, Mother Nature talks like that. She’s practically a sailor.

So thank goodness I took a photo of them yesterday, when it was sunny and beautiful and the camera didn’t almost get blown out of my hands by the wind:



Yesterday was a bit of a rough day. It was an emotional roller coaster for everyone. Mark is sad because two of his close friends are going to a different school next year, and Jake is sad because his teacher is leaving the school. Both boys are excited for summer activities and they started their orange belt class yesterday, so it was an up/down/upside down oscillation yesterday. We’re sad! And angry! And excited! And happy! And nervous! And sad again. As for me, it’s “ladies’ holidays” so I was having a low energy, low spirits, high discomfort day, so dealing with all the emotion was about as fun as it sounds.

Then I was driving down our alley and I noticed something strange sticking out on the gravel. I slowed right down and then hit the brakes, gasping. It was a human arm. It’s not everyday you see a human arm so after I said omigod omigod to myself several times I looked again. Fortunately the arm was attached to a person, who was largely hidden by some garbage bags and a duffel bag. Also fortunately, the man was drunkenly passed out on the gravel, and not dead, as I kind of feared.

Today seems much less drama free, which is a happy thing. Our home telephone is now magically fixed, after hours and hours of the repairman switching cables and drilling things into the side of our house, and working on the pole, but not in a glittery way. At first I was wondering if we were going to be those people who get rid of their landlines, because the repairman and supervisor were completely puzzled. They’d “never seen anything like this before,” which was moderately unsettling, like our phone line was the Nancy Spungen of phone lines – out of control and no one is sure why. But now it’s fixed and I’m receiving calls from telemarketers and automated voices telling me that there may be an issue with my credit card; please enter your credit card number now. I’m sure glad we got that fixed!

Happy summer, everyone! Here’s to a summer of relaxation and fun, and lots of margaritas too.


  1. Happy summer to you, too!

  2. I am jealous of your mid-week school end. It should be that way here, too, but because of some weird arcane system at the provincial Department of Ed they go tomorrow, have Friday off, and return on Monday morning FOR ONE HOUR SO HELP ME BABY JESUS to pick up their useless, rote-comments report cards.

    Are you getting lots of calls from “Windows Technical Support”, too?

  3. I want Margaritas! Have you seen the price of limes?!?! StOOpid drug cartels ruin everything! *harumphs*

    I pretend blocked my AR BFF last night because she is a) in Disney World and b) was having a Margarita and c) dared to flaunt that to me, her Margarita lovin’ bestie!

    Thank goodness the arm was attached to a human. Whew! Go ahead and have your frozen concoction. You need it more than I do … today.

  4. happy geek says

    Your first paragraph had me snort laughing. And once again my poor children had their sports day inside in the halls. Because nothing says summer like having to do sack races by the lockers.
    One more day for us! And because of bussing it is all day baby!
    And then, let summer begin!!!!

  5. I’ll likely feel your pain next year once I actually have one boy in school but I vote that the arm certainly entitles you to a Margarita! You can join me in my morning Daiquiri!

  6. I could have sworn I commented on this, but my computer’s acting weird, so….. happy summer! I hope it’s really, really hot. It was so hot yesterday my eyebrows were melting off, and we STILL sat outside at my mom and dad’s place because summer, motherfuckers! Then I went from getting sunburned to almost getting taken down by the team awning when the wind came up and it started thunderstorming. And my backyard still isn’t planted! Sigh.

Leave a Reply