The cashier at the grocery store asked me how my weekend was. “Great!” I said cheerfully. “Oh yeah? What did you do?” he asked. I stood silently for a minute. I couldn’t recall one single thing that I had done. I started feeling idiotic, standing there quietly, so I replied “Um, not much, I guess. Some yardwork?” He smiled […]
We’re all going to die! But hopefully not at the zoo.
June 15, 2011 by 9 Comments
The other day, there was a study that reported that watching over two hours of television per day increased one’s risk of death. I hate to get all caught up in the details, but the risk of death is 100%. I’m going to just go ahead and assume that the study meant premature death. Speaking […]
What does one need to wear to the Rapture?
May 19, 2011 by 10 Comments
So apparently the term “whale tail” is not as commonly known as I thought. Here’s a snapshot from Wikipedia: It’s just as classy as a pair of Daisy Dukes and a crop top. Do you remember that scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin where Andy and Cal catch a glimpse of the salesgirl’s whale […]
A New Kind of Groundhog Day!
May 16, 2011 by 7 Comments
Friday evening my husband came home late from his golf game to find me on the couch in my pajamas, halfway through both a bottle of wine and the pilot episode of NYPD Blue. “Hi sweetie,” I said happily, as if I hadn’t seen this episode many times before, “Sipowicz got shot! Oooh, look: You […]
I never slept through Money Never Sleeps
February 1, 2011 by 8 Comments
The boys had a day off of school today, and it went the way such days often go: with happiness distributed like a double bell curve, peaking in the mid-morning while pajamas are still on, bottoming out in the early afternoon, and then peaking again, after some activities instigated by myself, only to start the […]
International Hug Day! Smooch!
January 21, 2011 by 7 Comments
Today is International Hug Day! What an ending to a week that started off with the Saddest Day of the Year. Here’s a question: how is the date of International Hug Day actually decided, and by whom? Not that it matters; I plan on ambushing all my friends with giant hugs all day long. Well, […]
Nicole’s 300th Episode!
January 15, 2011 by 8 Comments
It’s my 300th blog post! If this were a sitcom, I would totally make this a clip show. As it is, I looked back through some of my archives and discovered the following things: a) I write a lot about being insane and germ-phobic, b) I talk about the weather as much as someone who […]
