I can’t hear a word they’re saying, only the echos of my mind

I am currently wondering if it is possible to be talked to death.  Or talked into submission.  In any case, I think my children are trying to break some sort of record, a talking record.  The biggest issue, as I see it, is that each’s child’s speech is a set in a Venn diagram, but their sets are not overlapping in the least, and so the conversation is going like this:

Mark: Isn’t it so cool we saw river otters at the zoo today?

Jake (wielding a small light sabre): Do you think that my powers can defeat this sword?

Mark: It would be so cool if river otters lived in the Bow River.

Jake: AIEEEEEEE!  I’m going to DESTROY the sword!

Mark: It’s neat that the Bow River eventually flows into the Hudson Bay.  I mean, after it turns into all those other rivers.


Mark: Hey Mom?

Me: Yes?

Mark: Hey Mom?

Me: Yes, Mark?

Mark: Um.  Um.  I forgot what I was going to tell you.


We spent most of the day at the zoo and, in spite of the sunshine and exercise, the boys seem invigorated rather than tired.  The house looks like a toy-filled bomb went off, or, alternately, a giant pinata filled with Legos and Ben 10 aliens was smashed with a baseball bat in my living room.  The noise level is currently approaching “deafening”. 

Update: the sets in the Venn diagram are now overlapping!  Mark has joined into Jake’s bizarre game of destruction and now they are both screaming loudly and running laps around the house.

Right now, giving up alcohol on weeknights seems like a terrible lapse in judgement.

It doesn’t help that my husband has been working a lot lately, in fact we were supposed to be on vacation right now but obviously, we are not.  When the boys were babies my husband was at a different job and he would leave the house at seven in the morning and return after seven at night.  That was essentially the hours that the boys were awake, and so my whole day would be spent alone with little people.  Now, of course, things are different and getting a phone call from my husband saying that he is going to be late does not reduce me to tears.  But still.  It’s loud. 


  1. Maybe we should get our children together so they can have a talking contest. We can go in the other room while they do this.

  2. I had a crazy loud day yesterday, too. I love the Venn diagram image. That’s exactly what it’s like! Yesterday I swear to god there was a top-volume three-way conversation about Harry Potter, Decepticons, and the cat. Made my brain hurt.

  3. Are you LIVING IN MY HOUSE?

  4. I refer to that Venn diagram as target practice…I feel like I’m the target. I’m currently hiding out in my bedroom because of the same situation, and don’t plan on emerging until…well, I’m not quite sure, I haven’t decided yet.
    Hi Nicole!!!!

  5. It gets better. You can send them down to the basement and shut the door and then only go down if you hear glass shattering or someone’s bleeding.

  6. Time for a bubble room…for the kids not you

  7. Wait. You gave up alcohol on weeknights? It’s how I deal with all the incessant whining going on in my house.

  8. Oh have I been there! I thought it would get better but my 13 year old can still talk me into submission.

  9. My son hasn’t stopped speaking for over a year. I don’t even know what he’s going on about half of the time.

    PS. My son also has a tiny lightsaber. You didn’t happen to *whispering* go to McDonald’s did you? That’s where we got ours. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone.

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