Category Archives: I almost failed Home Ec

A Very Fuzzy Birthday; Eleven Weeks In

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Every single time I water my outdoor garden containers, an incredible storm rolls in, complete with hours of pouring rain. It feels symbolic, but I can’t quite make the leap.

It has been a dreadful week for news, which I am not going to go into. The bright spot is that Covid cases are on the decline in Alberta, and that last week’s recoveries outweighed the new cases. We are still in Stage One of reopening, and for the Boyhouse, this means that we have been slowly getting back into the world with medical appointments. The guys all have eye appointments next week, and I had my annual physical last week; that was pretty exciting, to have a reason to put on a real bra instead of a yoga tank. Next up: blood work and a mammogram! I haven’t scheduled them yet because the idea of Doing Things is still pretty exhausting. Although, never have I ever gone for my physical and immediately just walked into the room, with no waiting, as happened last week. I should probably get all these things done while it’s still quiet. I’d like to get my dental appointments in too, but that seems like a bridge too far right now.

When you were a kid, how often did you go out for dinner? In terms of sit-down restaurants, for me, it was almost never. Occasionally we would get Dairy Queen dinners, maybe once or twice a month, but as for an actual restaurant, it might have been annually or semi-annually. I wonder if we are going to see a step change in consumption patterns; I wonder if restaurants are going to become the special treats they were for me, back in the Eighties. I wonder if shopping is going to change and we are going to buy new things for Christmas and birthdays only, and maybe Back to School, GOD HELP ME THERE HAS TO BE A BACK TO SCHOOL AT SOME POINT.

I wonder about travel, and how that will change, and what will be the impact on countries for which the travel industry has done more for their economies than any other industry combined. I wonder what will happen for my kids when they are old enough to fly the nest and get jobs; will they have careers, where will they go and what will they do.

Well. None of us know what the future will bring, and in the meantime, we celebrated a very fuzzy birthday this weekend. Barkley, a.k.a. Bokey, Bokey Boy, Boke Boke, Bokeroo, Barks, the Barkster, Barkles, Puppy, Puppy Pup, Mr. Fuzzy, Fuzzy Fuzz, Silly Billy, turned twelve. There is something very heart-wrenching about having a dog turn twelve; it’s a reminder that you don’t have much time left and every day is a gift. Hopefully we have lots of time left, and in the meantime, he enjoyed lots of treats, the slowest walk ever where we patiently allowed him to sniff Every Single Spot Another Dog Has Ever Peed On Ever, and a ton of attention which he didn’t understand but I’m sure he liked.

Pandemic Reading

My dear friend Taryn (HI TARYN) lent me this book MONTHS ago; I set it on my shelf and – shamefully – forgot about it. What a pleasure this was to read; it is one of the best books I have read ever. Linked short stories – my favourite – about a girl of Jamaican descent growing up in Toronto, with underlying themes about belonging, community, and mother-daughter relationships. It is so rich and wonderfully written; I can’t stop thinking about it. You could probably write an entire dissertation on every character in this book.

This was one of my favourite books growing up and I can really see why. It is the ultimate “Bloom Where You’re Planted” book; the underlying theme is that no matter your circumstances, you can be a princess. A princess is what you are inside, in the best way possible. In this case, being a princess means treating others with respect, politeness, kindness, and generosity, regardless of how they treat you. Sara is a very wealthy young girl who has been sent to boarding school, while her father goes back to his work as a colonel in India. He loses his fortune and dies – of jungle fever – and the mistress of the boarding school takes that opportunity to make Sara into a slave who lives in the attic of the school. Eventually, through serendipitous twists and turns, all turns out well. It is a children’s book after all, albeit one that deals with child malnutrition and exposure, and physical abuse. As any book written in the Victorian age, it is a product of its time, so in the background there are many ugly things like colonialism and a crushing class system; it shows the terrible way impoverished children – particularly orphans – were treated by society.

I have a theory that Burnett readers either love A Little Princess or they love The Secret Garden, but they can’t love both. It’s very true for me, I have tried many times to read The Secret Garden but I’ve never made it past the first chapter.

More Alice Munro! Love her.

Yummy Things

Because it was Barkley’s birthday, I baked these “pupcakes” (thanks Lyn for the name suggestion! HI LYN) for the humans in the family. While looking for these dog face sprinkles at Superstore, I noticed that cake mixes are the new thing to be gone off the shelves. The baking aisle has tons of flour, and even some yeast, but the shelves holding cake mixes were completely empty. Has everyone given up on bread baking and moved on to cake making? I fully support your baking journeys.

We are trying to support as many Canadian wineries as possible; my husband’s lifelong friend – and, in fact, the friendship goes back generations as their grandfathers and fathers were both grape growers and lifelong friends – is a winemaker at Vineland Estates, which makes the BEST Cab Franc you have ever had. Seriously, it is the best. It’s tricky to get wines through the provinces, but there are (legal) ways to do this, and, long story short, I now have three cases in my basement. Or, as our winemaker friend says, 36 days worth.

Supporting Canadian wineries! It’s a hard job but someone has to do it, so I shall take it on myself.

Pandemic Fitness

The May walk/ run challenge is now over, and I clocked 257.6 kilometres for the month – mostly walking, but lots of running too. I’m very happy with that.

Other things to be happy about: today I went to Costco and hardly had to wait five minutes to get in the store, they are handing out masks to unmasked people at the door, and I saw a woman wearing a mask adorned with sequins. Sequins! It was very Pandemic at the Disco, and I like it. Hope you are all having a good week, stay safe, stay healthy. xo

Grievances, Big and Small; Ten Weeks In

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Big Grievance: Masks

Despite my diatribes about shopping carts, I like to think that I am a very open-minded person. Unless a person is blatantly racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or similar, I am usually able to see things from their point of view, even if I disagree, be it about politics, parenting, books and movies, or moustaches.

Small grievance digression: the boys are STILL sporting moustaches, and have no intentions of shaving “until this is all over” which, really, is so vague as to make me believe that I am going to be looking at Ned Flanders/ Errol Flynn facial hair until the end of time.

Anyway, back to the big grievance. I have a policy not to get into arguments online; such arguments are futile and pointless and only lead to bad feelings. Generally speaking, no online argument has ever changed anyone’s mind and it only serves to fuel feelings of frustration about ignorance and the state of the world. However, a woman who I know vaguely through the yoga community posted a link about Costco requiring masks to shop at its warehouses, with the caption “Not a chance! I will stop shopping there if they push me to wear a mask. How ridiculous!” The comments – don’t read the comments, people – were supportive of this anti-mask stance, in that “we have to stand up for our rights!” Our rights to shop at Costco maskless? I guess.

At this point I wasn’t trying to start an argument, I was curious. Why though? Why no mask? Was there an actual physical issue that precludes mask-wearing? What is the big deal? I equate stores requiring masks with the ubiquitous No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service policy; I really wanted to know her reasoning.

The answer, such as it was, that it was she did not think that masks are useful and that she believes in her right to choose.

Her right to choose, as if this was an abortion issue, not a let’s-wear-masks-during-a-global-pandemic-for-an-hour-to-buy-groceries issue.

Also, you know who DOES think mask-wearing is useful? The entire medical community.

I pressed on a little, and kept getting comments that “people’s rights are being taken away” and “this was oppression,” which, really. Oppression. Rights being taken away. If wearing a mask indicates one’s level of oppression and lack of human rights, then one is living a very charmed and lucky life. Imagine equating a mask with oppression. Imagine talking to a woman from, say, Iran about your rights being taken away.

All this from a yoga teacher, who should, by all definitions, be concerned about the more vulnerable in our society and who also would require people visiting her studio to remove their shoes upon entering. Even in my old stroke survivor yoga class, students removed their shoes upon entering the studio, the only exception being a person who was in a scooter and whose feet never touched the floor. If we yoga teachers can require shoe removal as a sign of respect and cleanliness, then I think we could also put something over our noses and mouths in a time where an extremely contagious respiratory virus is rampant.

Well, I don’t unfriend people easily – it took me twelve years to unfriend my cousin who constantly spewed anti-vaccination information and promoted his diet as precluding the need for vaccinations and modern medicine – but this was a no-brainer. I have no time for this. However, there is always a bright side. Based on the people who are going to boycott Costco for mask requirements, there should be fewer people in the queue to get in; fewer STUPID and SELFISH people in the queue. Oppression of human rights indeed.

(I don’t know who to credit for this image but I like it)

Small Grievance: Child Benefit

I do not ever apply for the Canada Child Benefit while filling out my tax return. As far as I can see, I do not qualify for anything, which is perfectly fine, of course. So when I received an envelope from Revenue Canada, I stared at it before opening. Did I file something wrong? Nothing strikes fear in the heart quite like an unexpected envelope from Revenue Canada. What I found inside was startling: my Child Benefit had been calculated, and my annual entitlement was to be deposited into my account shortly. My annual entitlement of $3.28.

$3.28! I’m sure the costs of calculation, mailing, and depositing far exceeded that amount, but okay. Maybe I’ll treat myself to a very small latte, or a block of tofu and a pack of gum.

Very Small Grievance: Rogue Spinach Leaves

Every day I make myself a green smoothie and every day, every single day, there is one spinach leaf that gets stuck on the side of the blender and refuses to be a part of it. That is, when I’m lucky it’s stuck on the side of the blender; sometimes it drops into the smoothie, unperceived by me until I drink it and get a soft, weird-tasting leaf in my mouth.

I’ve tried everything, and still, one leaf.

Not Really A Grievance: Goutweed

My very lovely elderly neighbour, many years ago, transplanted and watered a particularly invasive and ugly non-variegated variety of goutweed in the space between our houses. She is unable to do yardwork now, and the goutweed had spread and grown and started to choke out our shrubs and the variegated, snow-on-the-mountain goutweed that was also growing in that space. It had also started to creep into one of my gardens, and something had to be done. The boys and I spent two and a half hours yesterday digging it out. Have you ever tried to dig out goutweed? There is a reason it is used as an aggressive groundcover. As I said, this is not really a grievance, as I really enjoy this type of work, and it was a Project that was Very Satisfying to complete. My muscles are a TINY bit sore though; apparently goutweed can be used medicinally for inflammation. This seems like the ultimate irony.

Pandemic Reading

If we want to talk about oppression…this book deals with an “honour killing.” It’s quite fascinating and explores a community in which rules are rigid and women’s rights are non-existent.

A woman deals with her nasty husband’s sudden and extreme spiritual awakening; this book is very witty and also ended much differently than I thought it would, which I genuinely like.

This was okay, a light weekend-style read.

Yummy Things

Other than yesterday, the week was cold and rainy, which I usually find Oppressive Like Masks, but for some reason I instead found the rain to be energizing and invigorating. I went for walks in the rain – what have I become – and I leaned in hard to Cozy Rainy Day activities. I made three different kinds of ice cream – mint, strawberry, and vanilla caramel swirl – baked a lot, and made jam.

Also, three perfect avocados! At the same time!

Our Sunday dessert was chocolate-dipped strawberries, a very nice treat after all that digging.

Pandemic Fitness

My Sunday walk took me to the university; I hadn’t been on campus since 1998, and I was surprised to see so many changes, so many new and beautiful buildings. It was good to see my old stomping grounds to be basically unchanged – except for the absence of the Prairie Chicken! – and just as ugly as it used to be. Ah, I can feel the dinginess of those windowless offices just by looking at this.

Never did I think I would become a woman who would wear her son’s outgrown windbreaker to run in the drizzle, but here we are.

I hope you are all having a fabulous, unoppressed week. Fight the power! xo

Pandemic Mother’s Day and Panic; Eight Weeks In

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I had to physically go to my calendar and count, because it seemed wrong today; eight weeks? This is the ninth week now? The calendar has reassured me that yes, those are the numbers we are working with today. Eight weeks in quarantine, or, semi-quarantine, I guess. Can you say you’re in quarantine if you are the designated grocery shopper and prescription picker-upper? In any case, we have just completed our eighth week of *gestures widely* all this.

You may have been in lockdown mode for a while when you start having serious kitchen dance parties with a carrot.

You may also have been in lockdown mode for a while when you start reorganizing and cleaning your spice cupboard, when you decide that you must move all the living room furniture to clean underneath it where the Roomba can’t go, and when you go into an incredible panic spiral when baking powder becomes unavailable.

Here’s the thing: I have baking powder. I buy it at Costco and so I always have backup. But for some reason, the lack of baking powder on the shelves, even though I do not currently need baking powder and in fact it will be a while before I do actually run out of baking powder, has me completely Panicking At The Disco. The Carrot Disco, if you will. I started to search up substitutions for baking powder and discovered cream of tartar, mixed with baking soda, can be effectively used, and so I started adding cream of tartar to Every Online Shopping Order. At one point, my husband asked me to please stop, we surely have enough cream of tartar, which – prior to the Pandemic At The Disco – I only ever used to make play dough. It has been a while, dear reader, since I made play dough.

I felt powerless to stop my quest for baking powder. I came across this article – What a Starvation Experiment Reveals About 2020 Food Insecurity – and it is fascinating. I had read about that experiment before, in terms of how food restriction permanently shifts your brain chemistry and behaviour, and it is fascinating to think that one day in the far future, we might still be trolling aisles and grabbing desperately for yeast and flour and toilet paper and – in my case – baking powder. What is this Pandemic doing to our brains and behaviour patterns? The economist in me will be interested in future studies, but meanwhile, if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the kitchen mixing 3/4 teaspoon of cream of tartar with 1/4 teaspoon baking soda.

Another thing that has been absent from grocery shelves for weeks is sauerkraut. This is not something that affects me personally as I am not a fan of sauerkraut in the least, but my husband and younger son enjoy it, and one of the lunches they have been making recently is corned beef Reuben sandwiches. They were down to their last forkful of sauerkraut, and at that time it had been completely unavailable for three weeks, but my darling friend Denise – HI DENISE – came through and gave us a jar.

How was your Mother’s Day? After a few weeks of gorgeous weather, it turned cold and snowed a bit, so naturally I went to the garden centre Sunday morning to buy a few plants. I figured there would be very few people there and I was right. Traditionally this is my Mother’s Day gift – plants – but the boys also surprised me with popcorn and a viewing of my favourite movie, When Harry Met Sally, on Saturday night. We had a barbeque Sunday, and a nice family walk, and altogether it was a lovely, if cold, day.

Pandemic Reading

This is the sequel to Lives of the Saints, and I read it shortly after studying Lives of the Saints in first year university. I must have blocked it out. It’s a very dreary book and very sad; if you are in the market for a lot of brooding and a quest for belonging, then this is the book for you.

I read this for my long-defunct book club back in 2003, and it’s still a really wonderful read; a lovely celebration of womanhood and sisterhood. I really enjoy reading books that delve into a female point of view of a traditionally male story; this is a Biblical re-imagining around the story of Jacob and Joseph.

I loved this book when it first came out and I can see why: it’s a fascinating story about the Russian pairs skaters Gordeeva and Grinkov. There is a lot of detail about how the Soviets identified and trained young athletes, and then how lives changed with the breakup of the USSR. It’s a love story, of course, but if you are interested in figure skating, it is fascinating from that point of view.

I have been reading one Mary Oliver poem a day, just before I start my yoga practice. I limit myself to just one poem and then I think about it all day; her poetry is beautiful and uplifting.

Pandemic Fitness

It’s been a good week for walks and runs, and I bought some new running shoes, curbside, from The Tech Shop. They were having an insanely good sale, and while it was a bit disappointing that the only colour they had in the shoes that I like was exactly the same as my old shoes, the new ones are so nice and cushy.

I hope you all are still well. Stay safe! xo

Extreme Laundry Area Makeover; Six Weeks In

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We are adjusting. Or, we have adjusted. I feel luckier than pretty much everyone; my husband is still employed, my kids are old enough and motivated enough to do their distance learning lessons with minimal help from me, my kids get along with each other, we have a home gym, we are healthy, my parents and mother-in-law are healthy and self-isolating, unlike many of their generation, I am teaching zoom yoga, and it is spring. There have been shortages at the grocery store but they haven’t affected us, not really. We aren’t going hungry, that’s for sure.

But on the other hand, it’s been six weeks. I miss my parents, who I haven’t seen since late February. I have no idea when we will be able to drive eight hours to see my mother-in-law, who hasn’t seen her only grandchildren since Thanksgiving, and this “having no idea” is an awful feeling, especially as my mother-in-law is nearing eighty. I think I’ll always feel a bit sad for my son missing his big Westcoast sailing trip and his grade nine graduation. Every time he plays the drums or my older son plays the guitar, I think about their friends and their band. Sometimes I think about all those weekends where we were all just too busy to get together with people, and now we have nothing but time but no one can get together, and it’s sad.

My way of coping with everything is – not surprisingly, for those of you who know me – to keep a fairly rigid daily schedule. I write things in my day-timer every week, things I want to accomplish daily and weekly. I do at least one “big” thing a day, such as a special cleaning, teaching a yoga class, or grocery shopping. I write down my fairly unchanging meal plan and my incredibly detailed and long list for my weekly grocery shop. I write down when I’ll exercise and when I’ll clean the bathroom.

I still wake up at 4:30 in the morning and get up shortly after. I used to just be at the studio at five, but now I drink a few cups of coffee, do some writing or some reading, and then start my yoga practice at six, watching the sun come up, a little earlier every day. I have breakfast after that, wake up the boys, and go for a run or do some cardio on our elliptical trainer, feeling intense gratitude that my husband bought it five years ago. Then I shower, put on a full face of makeup, dress, and start on my to-do list for that day, such as it is.

Generally speaking, our house is clean and tidy; there are jobs that get done – mostly by me, but the rest of the family does some too – weekly, a few times a week, every other day, daily, and multiple times a day (dishes and kitchen counters, I’m looking at you). However, with this extra time on my hands I started on some bigger jobs that get done, but not often, and some jobs that pretty much have never been done. I’ve done things that get done maybe quarterly, like washing down the kitchen cupboards, or laundering all the duvet covers and blankets, or scouring the tiles behind the stove and the stove itself. I’ve done things that get done extremely infrequently, like washing walls and baseboards, and the springtime nightmare that is cleaning our tiny mudroom. I spent an HOUR scrubbing the wall of the downstairs bathroom that had a grossly thick layer of my hairspray on it, only to find out later that the way to get rid of hairspray on walls is to use a solution with shampoo in it, which seems obvious now.

The most gratifying job of all was one that had not ever been done, and that was to clean and organize the laundry area. You know how you keep something a certain way just because you’ve always kept it that way, even though it no longer makes sense? The garbage can was kept behind the washer in an inaccessible way, so that the children, when they were toddlers, would not get into it, those children who are now teenagers. This led to inevitable missing of the garbage can whenever someone emptied the lint trap or the downstairs Roomba or – in the past few years – threw out the elastics from their braces. The floor was filthy with dust, dirt, and discarded elastics.

Here’s the before. From this picture, it doesn’t look that bad but…

All the rarely-used poisonous items were up on the high shelf, away from those same toddlers. However, the frequently used laundry detergents were next to the inaccessible garbage can, meaning I had to contort myself every single day when I did my laundry just to get the Gain or the coldwater detergent. 

This is the space behind the washer, underneath the shelving. LOOK AT THE DIRT AND DUST ON THE FLOOR. It was a disaster.

Here is the after (those are scratches on the painted concrete, it’s actually really clean):

Infrequently used items switched with the frequently used ones, so I can easily reach what I need to do a load of laundry. What a concept!

Garbage can in an actual accessible place! Novel!

I did this in early April and I still get excited looking at it. It was the most satisfaction I’ve ever gotten from a job around the house, since Kondo-ing everything.

This week I don’t have any big indoor plans, most of my jobs are going to be of the yard work variety, since it is glorious, glorious spring around here.

Pandemic Reading

We watched The Godfather before my birthday so I dug out my old copy. I first read it when I was pregnant with my younger son, so 15 years ago. I remember being in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for my checkup, and hormonally sobbing when reading the line “I don’t wish for his mother to see him this way…look at how they massacred my son.”

My younger son is reading this for English, so I reread it to discuss with him. I know everyone loves this book, but for me it’s just okay. “Why don’t you love it, is there too much action for you?” my son asked me and yes, that’s probably why.

This was my Friday night read. God, I loved this book and I still love this book.

Celeste Ng is one of the greatest writers of our time. This book is just so beautiful, and heart-breaking, and rich.

Yummy Things

Superstore had litre containers of whipping cream on for $1.97 this week! The only catch was that the expiry date was the next day. However, I bought two containers and in the space of 28 hours made cookies and cream ice cream, peppermint fudge ice cream, and vanilla gelato with cherry swirl. I also baked a cherry pie this weekend.

My husband ordered me a case of wine; this winery is on what used to be his family’s vineyard. His grandpa worked to own the land, his dad took over and was instrumental in bringing Riesling grapes to the Okanagan, which wasn’t wine country back then, and the property was sold in 2004. The Riesling is still amazing, and my husband had helped plant a lot of the vines, back in his youth.

Pandemic Fitness

With the arrival of spring I’ve been doing a little more running, slightly less walking, and basically enjoying being outside.

I hope you are all having a lovely week and are staying safe and healthy. xo

Excuse Me, I Moustache You a Question; Four Weeks In

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Up until last Thursday, all three of the male members of the Boyhouse were sporting moustaches. These are Dark Days.

They all just stopped shaving when they stopped leaving the house; I think my husband’s last day in the office was March 11 or 12, and the boys were last at school March 13, so it had been a while. My husband’s was a beard, which he shaved into a goatee, and then into a moustache, the style of which can only be described as a mix between that of an old-school cop and a serial killer.

Possibly in part because he values intimate relations, the moustache has been shaved. The boys, however, have assured me that they are going for it for the duration. There is nothing quite like the teenage moustache; I will leave it at that.

They both had haircuts before everything shut down, and my older son had complained at the time that his was much too short; by the time all this is over, he is going to look like Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, and my younger son is going to look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. My husband was flipping channels the other day and we watched the end of The Karate Kid – the “OG version” – and it occurred to me that Shaggy could go for a Johnny look – all he’d need would be a bandanna. Johnny, you’re a cream puff.

Well, I’m a strong believer in Body Autonomy, even when it comes to moustaches. Let your fuzzy flag fly, boys. I’ve always thought hair arguments between parents and their kids are silly; hair is the easiest thing to change and is so temporary.

In other, more exciting news, I have a new coffeemaker! It’s a new version of my old Cuisinart; thank you to Samantha (HI SAMANTHA) for the suggestion of pouring pre-measured water into the receptacle right before pressing the power button. Even with this new, hopefully non-leaking coffeemaker, I am going to continue with this practice. Actually, because I tend to be in auto-pilot before 5:00, I have been filling the pot with water the night before so even if I just press the power button without filling the receptacle, I’m not going to start a fire or anything.

But back to the Coffeemaker Hunt. My husband suggested Visions Electronics, which struck me as a very odd suggestion. I associate Visions with televisions and sound systems, but they also sell a wide variety of appliances. This magnificent creature was on sale for $100 off, so how could I refuse? They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, and with an extra $5 off for curbside pickup.

Only an hour after placing my order I had a message from customer service saying that they actually did not have it in stock at the store in question, and so they could refund me OR send it to me via courier at no additional cost to myself. It was not a difficult decision. What was difficult was the number of times I anxiously refreshed my email to see when it would be shipped. Too long, didn’t read, I have a coffeemaker.

First cup with the new coffeemaker!

How was your Easter weekend? Although it was snowy and cold, which was frankly quite depressing, we had a lovely one. We watched Top Gun on Saturday night, which, as you know, is one of my top three favourite movies.

Why WOULDN’T you wear tight jeans to play beach volleyball?

Easter morning, I packaged out the Costco box of Lindors in paper bags and hid them in the house, according to the clues that were written in poetry form. I reused last year’s poems but the boys didn’t remember and they still don’t know where we keep the honey.

It has been many years since we did a puzzle together. I’m pretty sure the last one we did would have featured very large pieces and Lightning McQueen. Three weeks ago or so, Co-Op had a number of puzzles on sale by the cash register for $2.99; when I brought this Friends one home the boys were a bit confused. What were the OTHER choices? Well, boys, the other choices were Anne Geddes babies and Frozen 2, so let’s enjoy Friends. It was actually really fun, even with all of us randomly yelling out “We were on a BREAK!”

Pandemic Reading

My parents gave me The Testaments for Christmas and I’m so glad I was too busy reading library books to open it until now. It was really nice to have something new to read. I had just reread The Handmaid’s Tale around Christmastime in anticipation of receiving The Testaments, but hey. I have time on my hands. I read it again this week so it was very fresh in my mind. The Testaments was great, and I loved how the stories went together, but – and I realize this is an unpopular opinion – I kind of liked the open-endedness of The Handmaid’s Tale. But it was definitely an exciting and fascinating way to finish things.

Pandemic Fitness

Despite the snow, it was a good week for walking. The snow just helped with the leg workout, I guess. I’m hoping to start working running in again, once the paths are not terrifyingly icy.

Yummy Things

I count it as a win that I didn’t eat all the Mini Eggs, and instead used them for this:

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Hang in there, everyone! xo

Smizing and the harrowing quest of obtaining food

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Yesterday as I did my early morning yoga practice, I noticed that my husband hadn’t closed one of the blinds in the living room. I watched as the sky slowly lightened, and then changed to an array of orange, red, and pink as the sun rose. It was gorgeous. It felt like a little bit of hope.

This glorious feeling lasted until I went to the grocery store.

I pride myself very much on my positive, can-do attitude, but I will tell you this: yesterday while I was at Superstore, I found myself thinking I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Intellectually, I know I will get used to it, just like I’ve gotten used to everything else. But yesterday, if it wasn’t disgusting and probably virus-ridden, I would have just curled up on the floor at Superstore and cried.

As it was, I got home from groceries and sat in the kitchen, staring into space for a long time. It was the next best thing to crying in public.

What a grim and depressing errand it has become, just obtaining food for the week. I used to really enjoy grocery shopping, and now it feels like the most soul-destroying Sisyphean task ever, because we are going to eat the food I have purchased and I am going to need to repeat this again and again. I was trying to describe it to my husband and kids, none of whom have been anywhere since mid-March, but it’s almost impossible to describe to the non-designated-shoppers of the family. It’s hard to describe the feeling of despair that pervades the store.

I was talking to my friend Shari (HI SHARI) and she said, when I said how drained I was from shopping, “Is it because everyone is silent and no one is looking at anyone?” and I think that sums things up nicely. A huge part of my grocery experience is smiling at people, chatting with people in the produce section, peeking at other people’s carts and asking them if they’d ever tried that brand of frozen pizza before, and was it good? I’ve never bought a frozen pizza, but for some reason I really like asking about them. Now we are all avoiding each other and if someone comes into my six-foot bubble, I feel panicked and anxious. I try to smile at people but I look like this:

And guys, I’m not good at Smizing.

I was in the baking aisle for coconut and raisins – off-brand flour is available, but yeast is not – and there was a young girl there with a list. She looked so upset; I guess my Smize worked, because she asked desperately if I could help her. She reached her list out to arm’s length and I peered at it. She pointed to “raisins (bulk)” and asked me, with a heavy accent, what that meant. I had to explain to her that there was no bulk anymore, but the raisins were close by. She was tearful. My mom gave me this list and I don’t know where things are and no one will talk to me.

It’s funny, because we all have this feeling of togetherness when we are not together – which is good! we should NOT be together – but in the few common areas that are left, it’s like we are all the walking dead and this is the apocalypse.

I kept thinking of all the many, many materials I have read on the world wars; every single one of them, when the wars started, assumed that it would “all be over by Christmas.” Then it would be all over by summer, and then things just stretched on and on.

Wow, I can’t even go there.

On a lighter note, I discovered that you can actually buy – this is something that is actually for sale – peeled hardboiled eggs. What an age we live in. Now do not get me wrong. This is not something I WOULD buy, as even as a child I would cry a little when eggs were served, unless they were scrambled. And hardboiled eggs in particular smell like farts to me. But if they are your thing, fumbling around peeling them could be a thing of the past!

Speaking of eggs, this weekend is Easter! I always write a list of clues – I still have last year’s, so I am going to reuse it – and then the boys go and find the treats hidden away in various places in our house. I bought a box of Easter-themed Lindors the last time I was at Costco, and I’m going to separate them into little paper bags. My mom sent me money to buy the boys the kinds of treats she usually gets them, and yesterday I did that at Superstore. We usually do a crazy egg hunt in our back yard, using these pressed-paper eggs that I usually buy at Walmart and that we decorate before-hand, but Walmart hasn’t been on my radar for my once-weekly shopping trip, so we will do without this year. Probably for the best since this is what my yard looked like on Tuesday:

And the forecast is similar for the weekend. Well, that’s Calgary for you. Send me photos of your grass, flowers, etc. I will live vicariously through you.

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I wrote this post early in the morning, and then paused to do my yoga practice. I watched the sun rise again and it occurred to me – not for the first time – that every day is a new beginning and so here we go. Happy Easter, friends, and I hope there is some chocolate in your future. There’s definitely some in mine. xo

Accidental Hoarding and Two Weeks In

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I was making my list for the grocery store last week; I am going out once a week to replenish our supplies and though I’ve always been a list-maker, I find myself being more vigilant in that area. After all, if I forget something I can’t just run out and grab it. I’m finding it fairly easy to keep social distances in the grocery stores; for one thing, they are very quiet right now, and there are x’s marked on the floor to show where we need to keep our carts to keep appropriately away from other people. Probably the best thing is that other people – in my experience – are really taking social distancing seriously so we are all stepping widely to give each other two metres of berth.

Anyway, I was making my list and I looked at the shelf where I keep the following: tea, bread crumbs, the very occasional box of crackers, Oreos – which I use exclusively to make homemade cookies and cream ice cream, and if you have never made that, it is WORTHWHILE – and taco shells. Tacos are an excellent Pandemic Meal, in my opinion, as I always have black beans on hand for me and ground chicken in the freezer for the guys. My younger son is in charge of making tacos when it’s Taco Night, and so I am always prepared with shells and seasoning. However, on this shelf was an open box of shells, less than half full. How could that be? On my big Pandemic Shop, I was sure I had purchased a few boxes of shells, specifically because of the aforementioned Excellence of Tacos As A Pandemic Meal. I wrote it down on my list, figuring that with everything else going on, I had simply forgot. I picked up three boxes at the grocery store, and then while I was putting groceries away, I saw three boxes of shells in the pantry downstairs. Ah! I had run out of room and put some dry goods on a shelf downstairs after the big Pandemic Shop. I must keep that in mind when I think I’m running out of pasta – I have a few boxes on that shelf – but meanwhile, I now have six and a half boxes of taco shells.

Is this hoarding?

I guess if anyone is in desperate need of taco shells, I can share, but last time I looked there was certainly no shortage. The shelves containing flour, pasta, and canned soup continue to be empty, and I have heard that yeast is very difficult to find. I haven’t tried as I still have some, and – taco shells aside – I am trying not to panic buy anything. I am trying to Make Do With What I Have, for the most part. Still, I saw something on twitter about making yeast out of dried fruit, and I am going to do that. Science, bitches!

Speaking of science, online lessons start this week, which will be interesting. In addition to this, I am teaching my yoga classes online – both live through Zoom and via YouTube videos. My husband is, of course, working from home and we are in a small 1960s bungalow. Do not get me wrong, I love our house, I feel fortunate to have a lovely home with a family that I love, but this is the week that things will get Interesting.

Happy Things This Week

As I mentioned, it was my son’s 16th birthday last Monday, and our anniversary as well. We went for a long walk in the natural area that is only a kilometer walk from our house. It was an absolutely gorgeous day.

I also made a strawberry cake with strawberry frosting and coconut whipped cream. It was delicious.

Yesterday I baked brownies and topped them with homemade ice cream and fudge sauce.

My friend Denise (HI DENISE) suggested the Houseparty app, and on Friday we had a wine date together with some of her friends. I highly suggest this if you, like me, are missing having actual conversations with people and seeing faces.

Things That Are Disproportionately Upsetting Me This Week

I don’t think I really need to say that I’m worried about illness and death of so many people, and worried about it hitting loved ones. I don’t think I need to say that I’m worried about the massive economic fallout from all of this; about ninety percent of people I know have either lost their jobs or taken pay cuts, small businesses are going to get decimated, who knows how all of this is going to get resolved and paid for. My sister-in-law is considered an essential worker right now and she is the person who checks in on my widowed, nearly 80-year-old mother-in-law who lives in isolation on two acres, and if you don’t think that’s worrying, well.

But sometimes the little things take on larger significance in my mind. The two things that have upset me in a completely disproportionate way, are that the spring plant fundraiser I had ordered from is cancelled, and all the hair salons are closed. I mean, of course. There is no WAY to physically distance yourself while getting your hair done, unless your hair therapist has metre-long arms with Edward Scissorhands-like hands. I mean, there’s just no way. It’s obvious that they should close AND YET. Well, I have purchased a couple of boxes of hair dye and although it has been well over two decades since I coloured my own hair, I am ready. I have been wondering for months if I should start growing out my hair, and I guess the answer is YES.

I guess the thing that is bothering me is that my hair therapist, who I love and have been going to for eighteen years, owns her own tiny salon. She is going to be just another of the small businesses affected and yes, if we all work together maybe it won’t be closed relatively long. But she’s the face for yet another business that is going to be hit hard by all of this and there is nothing that can be done, not really.

Pandemic Reading

Emma is SUCH a delight of a book.

CanLit! I read this in first-year university, and as you can see, I must have written a paper about the theme of blindness, and the stone angel as a symbol for Hagar herself. Seeing my notes in the book cracked me up. Ah, the earnestness of a first-year university student.

This was my favourite book as a teen; I read it many, many times. It’s a good Pandemic Book because it’s over 800 pages. I have shelves full of books, but having a longer read is a good idea, since who knows when the libraries will reopen. I have not yet finished it; it feels like a Project.

Stepping Out, Pandemic Style

After Steph (HI STEPH) mentioned that I had walked almost a marathon, I decided to make that my goal each week. I live in a neighbourhood in which it is very easy to Social Distance: wide sidewalks, space along boulevards, pathways. I am reluctantly Not Running right now, due to the time of year and the freeze-melt cycle which results in very icy sidewalks and pathways. But Saturday morning I speed walked – feeling like a 1990s speed walker or that Prancercize lady – and managed 8.5 km in 1:17, which I thought was pretty good.

Oooh, that 29.8 bothers me in a David Sedaris-like way. SO CLOSE TO THIRTY. Okay, no. Let’s not get Weird and Obsessive, or at least not any more than normal.

That’s it for me this week; how are you all doing? xo