Author Archives: Nicole Boyhouse

DIY Hair Colour Update, With Digression About Biotin

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Three weeks ago yesterday, I coloured my hair at home for the first time since the Nineties. The Nineties, guys. Prior to the pandemic, the last time I coloured my hair at home, I was wearing crop tops and high waisted denim shorts with belts. And now we live in a world where young girls and women once again wear crop tops and high waisted shorts with belts. Sunrise, sunset. The big wheel keeps on turning and Proud Mary keeps on burning.

Anyway, my hair. I did not expect much. I did not expect the colour to last well; red is particularly prone to fading, and I have been spending a lot of time outside, walking and gardening. I guess I am a person who lives by you get what you pay for and since I paid $6.99 for a box of colour, my expectations were low.

But lo! Behold!

 

The colour itself has hardly faded at all! My roots are coming in, of course, because hair grows, but that is to be expected. All in all I am very pleased, although looking in askance at the incredible amount of time and money I have spent on my hair over the past two plus decades. Well.

Speaking of roots coming in, this is something I have been meaning to bring up for a while: biotin. Back in the fall, a friendly acquaintance on twitter mentioned Nature’s Bounty Hair Skin & Nails supplements, and how taking them had really helped with hair loss and hair growth. She isn’t an influencer, and wasn’t writing a sponsored post on it or anything, and I had seen the pink bottles in Costco and often wondered about them. My main dissatisfaction in life, as you all know, has been my hair. Well, and my skin. And my nails. So I thought, why not.

People, I am here to tell you that it really does work. It’s not immediate; obviously you need to take the supplements daily, and for a few months before you actually see results. But my hair is thicker than it has been since the glory days of pregnancy, and it grows pretty quickly too, as evidenced by my root situation. I still get occasional nail breakage, but I also wash my hands many times a day; this is not merely a Pandemic Thing, it’s a Nicole Thing. Mostly, my nails are pretty strong though. My skin, well, I am still a wrinkled crone but maybe I would be MORE of a wrinkled crone without it, who knows, this is not a scientific study and I don’t have a control group with a clone of aging self.

The point is that the biotin has been working wonders on my hair, to the point that I don’t feel I can really complain about the rapidity of my Grey Root Emergence. One cannot take biotin for hair growth and then complain about hair growth, am I right?

It also seems to work for eyelashes; this is slightly harder to tell because I use a ton of mascara every single day, yes even during the Pandemic, yes even though I am not going anywhere or doing anything. I still have to look in the mirror occasionally. Back to the original point, I seem to be using less mascara to achieve the same, Pre-Biotin results.

The downside, of course, is FACIAL HAIR. Ladies of a certain age, and particularly if you are a fair-skinned natural brunette like me, might notice a significant uptick in the old beard-and-moustache.

Ellen Griswold: It’s my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs, and your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip…

Clark Griswold: Your mother waxes her upper lip?

Ellen: She has for years.

Clark: Huh. It doesn’t show.

I FEEL SEEN.

With my 10x Daylight Magnifying Mirror, though, the not-insignificant chin hair crop can be harvested pretty easily, and there are a ton of different wax strips for the old Magnum, PI. I use – wait, I don’t know what I use. Please hold. Oh, I use Veet Natural Inspirations. Good thing I looked, I thought it was Neet. Didn’t it used to be Neet? Anyway. If you are interested in biotin, I would probably suggest amping up your Facial Hair Crop Harvesting Routine. Unless, of course, you want to look like my sons.

HOO BOY, you guys, they still haven’t shaved and the teenage moustaches are out of control. I zenly repeat to myself, it’s their bodies, they can do what they want, it’s just facial hair…but eeeeeee. There is really no describing it. You will just have to use your imagination here.

Well. Body autonomy and all that. I am not going to die on that hill, not today, Satan. Plus, it’s Friday! My favourite day of the week! I teach a lunch-hour zoom yoga class, I’m making my favourite dinner of all time, and WINE, YOU GUYS. Even if it’s a Pandemic, I am not deviating from my Wine on the Weekend rules in the slightest. Otherwise, woooo, would it ever be a slippery slope around here. Only 11 hours until 5:00! Have a beautiful weekend, friends. xo

DIY Orthodontia; Seven Weeks In

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On Saturday morning, my “Born to Run” playlist started with Crazy Train and It’s The End Of The World As We Know It (and I feel fine), and ended with Don’t Stop Believing, and it felt all very symbolic.

Back when Calgary had the terrible flood in 2013, I remember a very strong feeling of dissonance. On the one hand, all the news was about the flood, showing footage of ruined homes and the downtown core underwater, familiar spots like the zoo and the river pathways obliterated. But then, I would step outside my house and everything was normal. It was a very strange feeling, this knowing that something was terribly wrong and yet in my bubble, everything was fine.

In a way, this is how the Pandemic feels. I’m hearing about people refusing to social distance, refusing to stay home; I’m seeing actual protests – people literally protesting – from the States over closures, people going to the beach, people refusing to wear masks in public. And it’s bizarre. Again, in my bubble, everything is fine. I go for multiple walks a day and I run a few times a week, and so I encounter many people out enjoying their constitutionals, and always, we give each other space. People – myself included – step into the street or cross the street to avoid going into someone else’s 2 metre bubble. Runners and cyclists – myself and my kids included – give at least two to three times the recommended berth when passing others. I do see people socializing, but at huge distances: friends having a chat, one person on their front step and the other on the sidewalk, friends having a drink together twenty feet away in a different driveway, moms in their minivans in empty parking lots, all parked ten feet away from each other. In the grocery store, at least eighty percent of shoppers have masks on, maybe more. Shopping is slow because each person waits until their fellow shoppers have made selections before approaching the shelf and making their own selection.

Sure, I have had the occasional person get too close to me in the past eight weeks, and I have seen the occasional people out walking together who don’t live in the same house, but by far that’s the exception. The vast majority of people are following protocol.

So I have hope that this will continue as Alberta starts slowly opening things up this week. I do not feel in any way ready to start going places, other than the grocery store and maybe also the garden centre, in a few weeks. Maybe.

The one thing I’m very glad of is that orthodontists are starting to reopen, and I feel that of all places, they will be able to keep things clean and sterile. My younger son is a month overdue for his appointment; just after it was cancelled one of his brackets started to loosen. I didn’t think that constituted an emergency, but the office was still open for phone calls. The nice lady assured me that indeed, it wasn’t an emergency at all and even if the bracket fell off his tooth entirely, he could just leave it dangling on the wire. If that bothered him, then I could just cut the wire myself and remove the bracket. I was extremely startled by that revelation and asked her with what I could cut the wire. The answer was even more disturbing: if I didn’t have wire clippers then toenail clippers would be fine. Just be sure to wash them first! she said perkily.

Well, yes.

I’m not sure at what point I would be desperate enough to poke around in my son’s mouth with wire clippers – or, god, toenail clippers – and I don’t think there is any level of sterilization that would make me comfortable with taking the tool that cuts my husband’s toenails and putting it in my son’s mouth to cut a metal wire near his throat opening. What could possibly go wrong. Apparently there are a number of YouTube videos that show how to take off your own braces and well. Thankfully, we are nowhere near that point. We can wait, thank you.

So I’ll be glad to get that professionally taken care of, whenever that should occur. The office is NOT taking phone calls at the moment; they were probably immediately flooded with calls the minute the news came out. I myself phoned and was greeted with a message to the effect that they are not making appointments and that THEY will call in the order in which our appointments were cancelled. Hopefully this will happen in the next month or so.

Today is cold and rainy but we have had a beautiful stretch of weather, so there has been much yard work accomplished along with some weird, adrenaline-fueled cleaning projects, like cleaning both fridges prior to the weekly grocery shop, washing the insides of the windows, and cleaning the kitchen cupboards – again. Apparently with everyone home all the time, things get dirtier than usual, who knew.

Pandemic Reading

Out of the blue I remembered one of my favourite Alice Munro stories, Tricks, that features a green dress. I haven’t read this collection for years; Alice Munro is one of my favourite writers and this might be my favourite collection of hers. Then again, every time I read Munro I think this is my favourite! so…

Judy, I love you, but I did not love this. It is, however, a very interesting timepiece about marriage in the 70s, the expectations for women, and swinging.

I studied this in first year university English – all the symbolism, all of it – and it’s very good. Hooray for Canadian literature.

Pandemic Fitness

A kind of negative aspect of my personality that not many people see is that I have a tendency towards competitiveness. I try to keep it on the down low. I joined a community group that is tracking kilometres walked or ran during the month of May and I am killing it. I already am at almost 28 kilometres for the month and it is 7:30 am, May 4.

Yummy Things

For dessert this week I made a chocolate mousse pie; I had baked peanut butter cookies earlier in the week and they disappeared pretty quickly. I haven’t been baking many cookies lately – I’ve been on more of a loaf/ muffin spree – and my sons requested my “classic OG cookies” which, apparently, is code for chocolate chip.

It’s been nice enough for drinks in the back yard as well.

May the Fourth

And it’s Star Wars Day! Here’s a flashback from 2015, me not practicing social distancing with Chewbacca:

He was so soft and silky! Happy Star Wars Day everyone! I hope your week is lovely and full of virtual soft and silky hugs. xo

Extreme Laundry Area Makeover; Six Weeks In

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We are adjusting. Or, we have adjusted. I feel luckier than pretty much everyone; my husband is still employed, my kids are old enough and motivated enough to do their distance learning lessons with minimal help from me, my kids get along with each other, we have a home gym, we are healthy, my parents and mother-in-law are healthy and self-isolating, unlike many of their generation, I am teaching zoom yoga, and it is spring. There have been shortages at the grocery store but they haven’t affected us, not really. We aren’t going hungry, that’s for sure.

But on the other hand, it’s been six weeks. I miss my parents, who I haven’t seen since late February. I have no idea when we will be able to drive eight hours to see my mother-in-law, who hasn’t seen her only grandchildren since Thanksgiving, and this “having no idea” is an awful feeling, especially as my mother-in-law is nearing eighty. I think I’ll always feel a bit sad for my son missing his big Westcoast sailing trip and his grade nine graduation. Every time he plays the drums or my older son plays the guitar, I think about their friends and their band. Sometimes I think about all those weekends where we were all just too busy to get together with people, and now we have nothing but time but no one can get together, and it’s sad.

My way of coping with everything is – not surprisingly, for those of you who know me – to keep a fairly rigid daily schedule. I write things in my day-timer every week, things I want to accomplish daily and weekly. I do at least one “big” thing a day, such as a special cleaning, teaching a yoga class, or grocery shopping. I write down my fairly unchanging meal plan and my incredibly detailed and long list for my weekly grocery shop. I write down when I’ll exercise and when I’ll clean the bathroom.

I still wake up at 4:30 in the morning and get up shortly after. I used to just be at the studio at five, but now I drink a few cups of coffee, do some writing or some reading, and then start my yoga practice at six, watching the sun come up, a little earlier every day. I have breakfast after that, wake up the boys, and go for a run or do some cardio on our elliptical trainer, feeling intense gratitude that my husband bought it five years ago. Then I shower, put on a full face of makeup, dress, and start on my to-do list for that day, such as it is.

Generally speaking, our house is clean and tidy; there are jobs that get done – mostly by me, but the rest of the family does some too – weekly, a few times a week, every other day, daily, and multiple times a day (dishes and kitchen counters, I’m looking at you). However, with this extra time on my hands I started on some bigger jobs that get done, but not often, and some jobs that pretty much have never been done. I’ve done things that get done maybe quarterly, like washing down the kitchen cupboards, or laundering all the duvet covers and blankets, or scouring the tiles behind the stove and the stove itself. I’ve done things that get done extremely infrequently, like washing walls and baseboards, and the springtime nightmare that is cleaning our tiny mudroom. I spent an HOUR scrubbing the wall of the downstairs bathroom that had a grossly thick layer of my hairspray on it, only to find out later that the way to get rid of hairspray on walls is to use a solution with shampoo in it, which seems obvious now.

The most gratifying job of all was one that had not ever been done, and that was to clean and organize the laundry area. You know how you keep something a certain way just because you’ve always kept it that way, even though it no longer makes sense? The garbage can was kept behind the washer in an inaccessible way, so that the children, when they were toddlers, would not get into it, those children who are now teenagers. This led to inevitable missing of the garbage can whenever someone emptied the lint trap or the downstairs Roomba or – in the past few years – threw out the elastics from their braces. The floor was filthy with dust, dirt, and discarded elastics.

Here’s the before. From this picture, it doesn’t look that bad but…

All the rarely-used poisonous items were up on the high shelf, away from those same toddlers. However, the frequently used laundry detergents were next to the inaccessible garbage can, meaning I had to contort myself every single day when I did my laundry just to get the Gain or the coldwater detergent. 

This is the space behind the washer, underneath the shelving. LOOK AT THE DIRT AND DUST ON THE FLOOR. It was a disaster.

Here is the after (those are scratches on the painted concrete, it’s actually really clean):

Infrequently used items switched with the frequently used ones, so I can easily reach what I need to do a load of laundry. What a concept!

Garbage can in an actual accessible place! Novel!

I did this in early April and I still get excited looking at it. It was the most satisfaction I’ve ever gotten from a job around the house, since Kondo-ing everything.

This week I don’t have any big indoor plans, most of my jobs are going to be of the yard work variety, since it is glorious, glorious spring around here.

Pandemic Reading

We watched The Godfather before my birthday so I dug out my old copy. I first read it when I was pregnant with my younger son, so 15 years ago. I remember being in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for my checkup, and hormonally sobbing when reading the line “I don’t wish for his mother to see him this way…look at how they massacred my son.”

My younger son is reading this for English, so I reread it to discuss with him. I know everyone loves this book, but for me it’s just okay. “Why don’t you love it, is there too much action for you?” my son asked me and yes, that’s probably why.

This was my Friday night read. God, I loved this book and I still love this book.

Celeste Ng is one of the greatest writers of our time. This book is just so beautiful, and heart-breaking, and rich.

Yummy Things

Superstore had litre containers of whipping cream on for $1.97 this week! The only catch was that the expiry date was the next day. However, I bought two containers and in the space of 28 hours made cookies and cream ice cream, peppermint fudge ice cream, and vanilla gelato with cherry swirl. I also baked a cherry pie this weekend.

My husband ordered me a case of wine; this winery is on what used to be his family’s vineyard. His grandpa worked to own the land, his dad took over and was instrumental in bringing Riesling grapes to the Okanagan, which wasn’t wine country back then, and the property was sold in 2004. The Riesling is still amazing, and my husband had helped plant a lot of the vines, back in his youth.

Pandemic Fitness

With the arrival of spring I’ve been doing a little more running, slightly less walking, and basically enjoying being outside.

I hope you are all having a lovely week and are staying safe and healthy. xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Pandemic Birthday Edition

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I love birthdays. I love my own birthday, of course, but I love other people’s as well. There’s no better time, in my mind, to make someone feel special than on their birthday.

My Pandemic Birthday was on Tuesday – I’m 45! – and in the weeks leading up to it I was feeling a little sorry for myself. I wouldn’t get to go out for a huge Moroccan dinner…I wouldn’t be able to drive up to the lake to visit my parents…my mom wouldn’t be able to make me my traditional pink birthday cake…for my 40th we had a huge party and now we are on lockdown…

But as it turned out my Pandemic Birthday was absolutely wonderful, and possibly one of my best ever. It is certain to be one of my most memorable. We’ve been celebrating all week, and I have been enjoying every one of my favourite at-home things.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Pandemic Birthday Edition

A Dinner I Did Not Have To Cook Or Make Decisions About

I’m sure those of you who are – generally speaking – the designated cook in the house can relate to the desire to just not have to think about dinner. I told my husband that I wanted a dinner that not only did I not cook, but I also didn’t have to think about in any way. I would buy any groceries that were written on my list – my husband has a chronic lung condition and also high blood pressure, and so he’s in the Higher Risk category, and we are trying to keep the people leaving the house to just me – but I would not make the list.

Saturday was the night of the Big Dinner, and the guys did great. They grilled vegetables and portobellos and made sweet potato fries, all favourites of mine. Of course there was wine, and cake.

Cake

The guys made me an angel food cake – my favourite! – with non-dairy whipped cream and raspberries. I was not at all expecting them to bake a cake, but several weeks ago my older son had asked me to buy a box of angel food mix. It was his birthday, but then he said he wanted strawberry cake instead, so the box had been lingering in the cupboard ever since. Was it forward planning on his part? I have no idea. I’m just happy to have had cake.

Mindful Mornings

On the day of my actual birthday, I wanted to do every single thing I love – that could be done in-house. I wanted to be very mindful and enjoy each moment. I would like to be like that every day but that’s a lot to ask of a human. In any case, it was a good reminder to stop, look, and enjoy. I got up early, drank some coffee and read some lovely messages from friends, practiced yoga with my online group, drank more coffee and my favourite green smoothie, and then did a little cardio.

Teaching Yoga

I’ve been teaching Zoom Ashtanga yoga classes on Tuesdays and Fridays – and starting next week, seniors too! My boss offered to teach for me this week but I really wanted to see my students, albeit in “gallery view.”

Being Outside

You guys, it is FINALLY SPRING here and yes, we sure could still get snow anytime but that is what Calgary spring is all about. Enjoy the non-snow days. Carpe non-snow diem. My birthday was unseasonably warm and so I spent as much time outside as possible. I went for a walk with Barkley and a longer walk with the guys. I did some yard work, which is my actual favourite. The sweet girls down the block from us are constantly ramping up their sidewalk chalk game with various 2D obstacle courses and hopscotch patterns. On Tuesday, they had switched up to a long spring-themed course with flowers and a red carpet. I felt like the red carpet was there just for me.

The Godfather

On Saturday, we watched The Godfather with the boys, complete with popcorn and more wine. Sunday I decided to reread the book, which probably explains the insane mafia-related dreams I have been having all week. They would not send each other Christmas gifts, but they would not murder each other. Best line.

Gifts

I wasn’t sure what would happen for my birthday, in terms of gifts, but my husband bought me books by Elizabeth Strout, who I love, and the new Little Women movie. The boys bought me new Pandora charms: a mom and baby owl, a cactus offering “Free Hugs,” and a heart-shaped “Mom” charm.

Friends

I was the lucky recipient of so many notes, calls, and messages. My darling friends Allison and Hannah (HI ALLISON HI HANNAH) sent me flowers and a balloon:

Then my dear friends Denise and Duncan (HI DENISE HI DUNCAN) dropped off wine and vegan chocolate fudge ice cream. That alone would be wonderful enough but they dropped it off while wearing inflatable T-rex costumes and blasting “Danger Zone.”

Honestly, I could not be luckier or more blessed. Halfway to 90 feels great so far. xo

Pandemic Hair Colour; Five Weeks In

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Well, it couldn’t be put off any longer. God love you all for taking this pandemic opportunity to embrace your greys or revert to your natural colour but believe me when I say that this wasn’t a good option for me. For one thing, as anyone who has been reading this blog for any length of time knows, I do not have the occasional silvery strand highlighting my hair. I am 100% grey, and last week, I took a look at myself and was very unhappy.

In the harsh fluorescent lights of the Costco warehouse, my white/ grey roots were a stark contrast to my dry, orange, straw-like hair. I knew it was time.

I hadn’t coloured my own hair in well over twenty years. The last time I coloured my hair it was the Nineties; I was in grad school, I owned and wore crop tops. Things were different back then but wisdom comes with the years, and in my case, I had watched my hair therapist and her colour methodology with increasing frequency as time went by.

If you find yourself in a similar situation – and aren’t we all in this together? – start with the hair around your face and temples, and then go to the roots. Begin at the top of your head, taking the hair into sections, and work yourself down to the sides. Once the roots are done, start massaging the colour into the rest of your hair, like you are in a shampoo commercial, piling your hair on top of your head if possible.

I will tell you right now that last week, when I wielded my box of colour, my husband was extremely discouraging. I don’t know if he thought I would give myself a nervous breakdown – which, let’s face it, is totally possible – but he kept asking why I didn’t wait another week, just in case I didn’t like the colour. “I don’t know why you need to do it THIS week,” he kept saying to me, “I can’t even SEE any grey.” I could only conjecture that he was either a) lying, or b) visually impaired. He’s a pretty bad liar so I guess it’s true, love is blind.

Vanity, am I right? I do not know what it would be like not to care about my appearance. I told him what I will tell you now, and that is that I could not even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Waiting one more week made no sense to me. Why put off the inevitable? And as it turns out, I am very happy with the result.

I’m so happy with the result, in fact, that I’m looking a little askance at the sheer amount of time and money I have spent getting my hair done. Well. Several months ago I spent a lot of time and energy wondering if I should grow my hair out longer, and, as with so many other things, the decision is now taken out of my hands. There’s something very serene about having no choice, at least in this matter.

It may seem like a little thing to you, but colouring my own hair made such a big difference in my outlook on life. It gave me a lift; I felt pretty and perky. I feel like I have control over something in my life, which right now is a pretty momentous thing. I have no idea how long boxed colour will last – red is notorious for fading – but at $6.99 a shot, I’m not too concerned.

It’s my birthday tomorrow and as a gift from the universe, spring has finally arrived. It has been a LONG winter, and it has been a dreadfully cold and snowy March and April, and the sudden arrival of warmer temperatures and melting snow feels like an incredible gift. We have been going on long family walks every Sunday since this began, and yesterday I wore shoes. SHOES! Not boots! Speaking of which…

Pandemic Fitness

I have been going for very long – 10k – solo walks on Saturday mornings, and this week the paths were all melted off so I decided to run for half of it. I haven’t had a run since March 15, and I haven’t had an outdoor run since injuring myself last May. I wanted to do 5k and that’s what I did – and it felt fantastic.

Pandemic Reading

I read Bridget Jones’ Diary back when I was colouring my own hair, in the late Nineties, and it was so charming. I just loved it back then! The reference to stones, and Milk Tray, and Country Casuals. It was just so British and witty, but I have to say that it’s either the stage of life I am in or just the year 2020, but I found it much less charming. Although, there is a hilarious piece about programming VCRs. Remember how hard it was to record something? Remember having to actively record something? I actually clearly remember in the early 2000s, when we were first able to pause and rewind live television and well. What an age we live in.

I first read this on my honeymoon, back in 2002. This DID hold up well for me – it’s a beautiful and fascinating look into the geisha life, and it’s an interesting look at how Japan was affected in the second world war.

This was a nice light love story for a weekend read: if you don’t remember the love of your life, is he still the love of your life?

I’m off to spend as much time outside as possible; I hope the sun is shining where you are. xo

Masks Are The New Lipstick

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Do you like my new mask?

My friend Tora (HI TORA) made it for me, and I’m so grateful. Even though I’m only getting groceries once a week, I was feeling weird about throwing away a mask every time. Does it seem strange to anyone else that only six or seven weeks ago we were all talking passionately about plastic straws and bags, and reducing everything, and now the grocery stores are encouraging use of those same plastic bags instead of reusable ones, and we are all throwing away gloves and dying to get our hands on plastic bottles of hand sanitizer? IT FEELS WEIRD TO ME. I am still using my reusable bags – I’m packing my own groceries, as per recommendations – but I am feeling weird about throwing away the gloves I wear to the store. Well, anyway, I like my new washable mask, and it has hearts on it! And it’s pretty! And every little bit counts.

God bless you all who have to wear masks all day, every day, due to your jobs, because they are – in my opinion – very unpleasant. I am a person who is Cold All The Time and I find them hot and awkward to wear; I find when I smile that my lower lashes get stuck on the mask, causing many mascara smudges, and if I find myself wearing sunglasses while waiting outside for thirty-five minutes just to get into Costco, those sunglasses are constantly fogging up. I guess you get used to it.

The upside? If you find yourself close to Ladies’ Holidays, and subsequently have the need to use your teenager’s acne medication on a spot on your jaw, and you find yourself despairing over using acne medication AND wrinkle cream, well. At least the mask covers things up nicely, is what I’m saying.

The lineup for Costco was “light” but, as I said, took 35 minutes and see all those carts? That’s the maze that one needs to stand in to get through it. I am not at all complaining; it wasn’t that cold and I had the foresight to bring a book with me, so I finished re-reading Bridget Jones’ Diary, which was much less charming than I remembered. It doesn’t really – in my humble opinion – stand up to the test of time, but then again, it was written almost 25 years ago.

The upside to the Costco lineup is that it is actually very pleasant to shop in the store. There are so few people allowed in that it is incredibly easy to social distance, and there are virtually no lineups at the checkout. The cashiers wipe down and sanitize everything between customers, which takes a few minutes, but I am happy that they do that. There are big bottles of sanitizer everywhere, so I did not even wear gloves on my most recent trip; I just sanitized a lot. My hands look much worse than usual, but so far so good.

As I was leaving, I showed the girl my receipt from behind her plexiglass stand. “Thank you, SIR, have a great day!” she said cheerfully. Huh. Sir. I hope that it’s just the strain of repetitive speech that is getting to her and not my Pandemic Appearance.

I don’t have the wherewithal to watch anything for a long period of time – this is not pandemic-related, I just rarely can do it – and so my husband and I watched the opening sequence of Jesus Christ Superstar Live. To be honest, I don’t REALLY love the whole musical; I find it drags a lot but I do love Herod’s Song and the opening and closing sequence. There’s a name for the opening sequence, what is it, I should know this. Oh! Overture. Anyway, I have always loved the overture; the original version especially I love. What’s not to love, all those sweaty hippies dancing frantically and putting together the set in the Israeli desert. IT IS INCREDIBLE. And the Live performance is just as incredible, in a very different way.

As we were watching, though, I found myself horrified by the crowd. Everyone so close together! Aiee! And then Jesus/ John Legend went to the front of the stage and grabbed the hands of the people in the front row. “He’s touching all those HANDS!” I said to my husband, horrified. Reader, he also kissed his own hands and blew kisses into the crowd. After touching SEVERAL DOZEN HANDS. It’s amazing that only a few months ago I would have never thought twice about it and now it seems like the Highway To The Danger Zone. Good LORD.

I find I have to talk to myself calmly when I go out to get groceries. It’s hard not to think all those hands that touched this same thing, you could really lose your mind thinking about it. Did I contaminate my purse by touching it? Did I touch the door to the grocery store refrigerator and then accidentally touch my pants? Should I strip down in the yard and burn all my clothes? Well. I speak calmly to myself and just congratulate myself for doing the best I can do. If you think too much about a thing, well, that way madness lies.

Anyway. I am NOT going out of my way to disinfect every single item I bring into the house, I am trying to have faith that They Are Okay and It Will Be Okay because, well. I am just trying to hold on. There was a video going around about how to disinfect your groceries and I could not even click on it, not for even a second. I also heard – through Swistle’s blog, since I refuse to look at the news or any “articles” that people “helpfully” post on Facebook – that the transmission from touching something is much, much, much lower than the transmission from having someone talk to you (or, god, cough near you) in your 2 metre bubble. Which brings me back to the mask! And how much I love it and how grateful I am to have it. As I’ve said before, masks are the new lipstick, which is a good thing, because they have discontinued my favourite shade. But that is a topic for another day. xo

Excuse Me, I Moustache You a Question; Four Weeks In

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Up until last Thursday, all three of the male members of the Boyhouse were sporting moustaches. These are Dark Days.

They all just stopped shaving when they stopped leaving the house; I think my husband’s last day in the office was March 11 or 12, and the boys were last at school March 13, so it had been a while. My husband’s was a beard, which he shaved into a goatee, and then into a moustache, the style of which can only be described as a mix between that of an old-school cop and a serial killer.

Possibly in part because he values intimate relations, the moustache has been shaved. The boys, however, have assured me that they are going for it for the duration. There is nothing quite like the teenage moustache; I will leave it at that.

They both had haircuts before everything shut down, and my older son had complained at the time that his was much too short; by the time all this is over, he is going to look like Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, and my younger son is going to look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. My husband was flipping channels the other day and we watched the end of The Karate Kid – the “OG version” – and it occurred to me that Shaggy could go for a Johnny look – all he’d need would be a bandanna. Johnny, you’re a cream puff.

Well, I’m a strong believer in Body Autonomy, even when it comes to moustaches. Let your fuzzy flag fly, boys. I’ve always thought hair arguments between parents and their kids are silly; hair is the easiest thing to change and is so temporary.

In other, more exciting news, I have a new coffeemaker! It’s a new version of my old Cuisinart; thank you to Samantha (HI SAMANTHA) for the suggestion of pouring pre-measured water into the receptacle right before pressing the power button. Even with this new, hopefully non-leaking coffeemaker, I am going to continue with this practice. Actually, because I tend to be in auto-pilot before 5:00, I have been filling the pot with water the night before so even if I just press the power button without filling the receptacle, I’m not going to start a fire or anything.

But back to the Coffeemaker Hunt. My husband suggested Visions Electronics, which struck me as a very odd suggestion. I associate Visions with televisions and sound systems, but they also sell a wide variety of appliances. This magnificent creature was on sale for $100 off, so how could I refuse? They made me an offer I couldn’t refuse, and with an extra $5 off for curbside pickup.

Only an hour after placing my order I had a message from customer service saying that they actually did not have it in stock at the store in question, and so they could refund me OR send it to me via courier at no additional cost to myself. It was not a difficult decision. What was difficult was the number of times I anxiously refreshed my email to see when it would be shipped. Too long, didn’t read, I have a coffeemaker.

First cup with the new coffeemaker!

How was your Easter weekend? Although it was snowy and cold, which was frankly quite depressing, we had a lovely one. We watched Top Gun on Saturday night, which, as you know, is one of my top three favourite movies.

Why WOULDN’T you wear tight jeans to play beach volleyball?

Easter morning, I packaged out the Costco box of Lindors in paper bags and hid them in the house, according to the clues that were written in poetry form. I reused last year’s poems but the boys didn’t remember and they still don’t know where we keep the honey.

It has been many years since we did a puzzle together. I’m pretty sure the last one we did would have featured very large pieces and Lightning McQueen. Three weeks ago or so, Co-Op had a number of puzzles on sale by the cash register for $2.99; when I brought this Friends one home the boys were a bit confused. What were the OTHER choices? Well, boys, the other choices were Anne Geddes babies and Frozen 2, so let’s enjoy Friends. It was actually really fun, even with all of us randomly yelling out “We were on a BREAK!”

Pandemic Reading

My parents gave me The Testaments for Christmas and I’m so glad I was too busy reading library books to open it until now. It was really nice to have something new to read. I had just reread The Handmaid’s Tale around Christmastime in anticipation of receiving The Testaments, but hey. I have time on my hands. I read it again this week so it was very fresh in my mind. The Testaments was great, and I loved how the stories went together, but – and I realize this is an unpopular opinion – I kind of liked the open-endedness of The Handmaid’s Tale. But it was definitely an exciting and fascinating way to finish things.

Pandemic Fitness

Despite the snow, it was a good week for walking. The snow just helped with the leg workout, I guess. I’m hoping to start working running in again, once the paths are not terrifyingly icy.

Yummy Things

I count it as a win that I didn’t eat all the Mini Eggs, and instead used them for this:

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Hang in there, everyone! xo