I went out for a few hours, came home, and found that my husband had wrapped all the Christmas gifts! It was the best Christmas gift ever! It instantly made me feel like giving HIM a big Christmas gift, if you know what I’m saying. Voluntary gift wrapping is even sexier than voluntary dishwasher unloading. […]
The very best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear.
December 11, 2011 by 10 Comments
PSA: Don’t be a dick.
November 23, 2011 by 8 Comments
Do you remember back in the day when you were trying to get pregnant, and it wasn’t happening very quickly, and everyone you knew was getting pregnant, and you were sad and frustrated and felt like stabbing every single person who asked “So when are you going to have a baby?” or who carefully examined […]
Boring, Useless, Who-Gives-A-Shit Information
November 9, 2011 by 11 Comments
Many, many years ago, before my mother-in-law discovered email and all the associated animated emoticons that could be utilized therein, she used to send me actual written letters, usually accompanied by a piece of knitting she had been doing – the knitted dishclothes I prefer, for example. In one such letter she had written all […]
Cheerful thoughts for a crappy weekend
April 17, 2011 by 10 Comments
It has been a dull, dreary weekend. It started for me at 6:20 am on Saturday when Mark woke me up with the words no one likes to hear, “Mom, I feel like I’m going to barf.” Fortunately no barfing ensued, but unfortunately he spent the weekend feverish, lethargic, and without an appetite. Then the […]
What makes a happy couple? Not outdoor soccer.
April 11, 2011 by 15 Comments
Last week I was applying makeup while wearing my robe and Jake peered over at my exposed legs. “Mom, you should go put your stockings on,” he said in a voice of concern. I assured him that I didn’t need to wear my stockings anymore! Happy news! He repeated his request, slightly louder. I repeated […]
International Hug Day! Smooch!
January 21, 2011 by 7 Comments
Today is International Hug Day! What an ending to a week that started off with the Saddest Day of the Year. Here’s a question: how is the date of International Hug Day actually decided, and by whom? Not that it matters; I plan on ambushing all my friends with giant hugs all day long. Well, […]
Sports, honesty, and mating…what are those dinos doing?
June 14, 2010 by 6 Comments
Saturday morning a loud buzzing noise filled my head. It kind of felt like a giant swarm of bees had invaded. I was puzzled; after all, I had only one glass of wine the night before and I didn’t feel ill or dizzy in any way. “Do you HEAR that?” I asked my husband hesitantly, […]
