All this Christmas sentiment is getting to me, I thought. Two nights ago, I became increasingly irritable throughout the evening; everything was getting under my skin. My husband was, I thought, an unbearable asshole and the kids were insane, obnoxious, and loud. I crabbed around the house then said, at 7:45, that I was going to […]
Santa’s coming! Santa! I know him!
December 20, 2011 by 12 Comments
True confessions: I have never taken my children to a mall to “meet Santa”. I’m going to really put myself out there for a moment and say that it has always seemed a little skeevy to me, to set my babies on this dressed-up stranger’s lap, this stranger masquerading as Santa, only to have them […]
Don’t throw me down, Clark! Is your house on fire, Clark? Oh. That was fun. I love riding in cars.
December 18, 2011 by 11 Comments
It is ONE WEEK until Christmas and the mood around here is a mix of mellow and excited. Yesterday was our open house and – although the basement looked like a Lego bomb went off and also like twenty-five children dropped crackers on the carpet and then stepped on them vigourously, which is probably exactly […]
Call for help, I am stuck to the countertop.
December 13, 2011 by 10 Comments
We have no fewer than five Advent calendars in the house. Two are Kinder chocolate ones, sent by my mother-in-law, one is a cloth one that is utilized only as a calendar and not as something particularly fun, one is a Star Wars Lego calendar which has led me to realize after a conversation with […]
The very best way to spread Christmas cheer is by singing loud for all to hear.
December 11, 2011 by 10 Comments
I went out for a few hours, came home, and found that my husband had wrapped all the Christmas gifts! It was the best Christmas gift ever! It instantly made me feel like giving HIM a big Christmas gift, if you know what I’m saying. Voluntary gift wrapping is even sexier than voluntary dishwasher unloading. […]
Santa Baby, Please Don’t Bring Me Harem Crops, or an Elf on the Shelf
December 7, 2011 by 9 Comments
This is the view looking out my back door this morning: Notice how difficult it is to see where the snow on the garage ends and the sky begins? My plan this morning was to take a trip to Superstore, but the snow and the thought of pushing a giant cart through the windy, unplowed […]
Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
December 5, 2011 by 13 Comments
The boys have been practicing Christmas songs at school – for what purpose, I am unclear, since they never have a pageant or holiday-themed special night for the parents to watch them do non-denominational festive winter performances or anything. Don’t get me wrong; I am not a “put the Christ back in Christmas” kind of girl, not […]
