Author Archives: Nicole Boyhouse

Be Thankful For What You Got; Eighteen Weeks In

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You guys, I have a new toy!

It’s a Peloton!

Me, six months ago: Those Peloton things are ridiculous. I mean, if you want to spin, go to spin class. Half the fun is being around other people!

Me, six weeks into global pandemic: Do we have room for a Peloton?

I probably should have known; it’s karma. Every single thing that I have ever judged in my life, even silently, especially silently, has come back to haunt me. This should be a lesson to us all. Judge not, or walk a mile in their shoes or any other pithy saying.

Anyway, the Peloton. I love it so much. I can now pretend I’m in a Peloton meme any day of the week.

In terms of having ROOM for the Peloton, well. There was much rejigging and reorganizing of the home gym, and I feel like we literally cannot fit anything more in this house.

The book I read a few weeks ago, Success and Luck, talked about housing sizes and how they have increased enormously relative to real median incomes over the past fifty years. I live in a 1960s bungalow; it’s 1100 square feet on the main floor, with a finished basement of the same. If you popped my great-grandparents, immigrants from Norway and Scotland who lived on the prairies farming, into my house, I am sure it would seem very large and luxurious. But yet this same house might feel unsatisfying to someone today, someone used to ensuite jetted tubs and guest suites and those ubiquitous “bonus rooms.” Do not get me wrong, I love my house. It’s home and I love it very much, but let’s think about how our ideas of a modest house have changed, even since growing up in the 1980s.

It’s interesting to me because I think as time goes by we are collectively going to want a simpler life. A number of friends have whispered to me that secretly, they have been enjoying the slower pace of quarantine life, that really, they don’t miss the hustle and bustle and constant go go go. Late night ice times, early morning swim times, weekends devoted to meets and tournaments and evenings spent in the car, driving to activities, scarfing down whatever sandwich or take-out was available on the way to activities. It’s not a healthy way to spend a life and I think we are all collectively discovering this.

For me, my days used to be spent driving to and from different studios, squeezing in the demands of the household and quickly walking the dog and running to get groceries, wondering if I have time to fold laundry between classes, timing my day down to the minute, always going. I would have never, ever taken the time to walk around the neighbourhood for an hour, and now I do that daily.

I guess what I’m saying is that if anything comes out of this, I think it should be that we take time to examine all the optional things in our lives, to see if they are actually serving us in a way that is healthy and smart.

Friday will mark exactly 14 months since my hip injury, the injury that meant I couldn’t walk without considerable pain – in fact it was months before I could walk without a limp – and I thought my running days were over. I was talking to a friend about adversity, and how we come through it with a new understanding, a new peace, a new appreciation for everything we have.

When I injured my hip, while going through my yoga practice I could not transition between downward dog and warrior 1. I could bring my foot forward but I couldn’t take my hands off the ground; it was far too painful and felt impossible. Now when I go through my sun salutations, every single time I do that transition, I send “thank you” thoughts to my legs and hips. Thank you for holding me up. Thank you for healing and being strong.

As women, we are conditioned to be unhappy with our bodies. I wonder if this is connected somehow to the constant pressure to always push more, to go more, to do more. We are conditioned to disconnect from what our bodies need, and instead we punish them. I bet if you asked a million women, only one would say she was truly happy with her body. There would be women dissatisfied with the size of their thighs, the shape of their butts, their stomachs. But really, our bodies are incredible and deserve our love and gratitude.

I was thinking that this week when I was hiking with my friend Taryn (HI TARYN), how last summer I could not have taken this 16 km hike with lots of elevation, not without considerable pain, anyway. Thank you, body. Thank you, legs. Thank you, hips.

Taking the time to enjoy nature, to not be always worrying about the next thing – if this is what comes out of the pandemic for me, then I’m happy.

Pandemic Reading

I finished two books this week, Primates of Park Avenue is a re-read but it’s really excellent look into a whole different world. If we want to discuss relative wealth and happiness, well. It is worthwhile and fascinating.

Eleanor and Park was recommended to me by my dear friend Allison (HI ALLISON) and I finally read it and understood the hype. It’s great!

The library is open now and god help me, I need an intervention.

Have a beautiful week, my beautiful friends. Be kind to yourselves. xo

Lots of Adventures; Seventeen Weeks In

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Dental Adventure

I had a dental cleaning scheduled for Monday afternoon and I was a bit nervous, due to the thought of having someone’s hands in my open mouth but you know what, all my nerves evaporated when the hygienist came into the room in full hazmat gear. Mask, face shield, hair covered, medical gown over all her clothes, and gloves.

Apparently there are “Marches To Unmask” going on around the country, and I keep reminding myself that it is very bad karma, very bad karma indeed, to wish ill on the participants, especially to wish a deadly Covid outbreak that would occur as a result of those marches. Bad karma, and therefore I am NOT wishing it to happen.

It is also wrong and bad karma to I hope a giant anvil drops from the sky and squashes every single marcher. However, if my dental hygienist can cheerfully don a hazmat suit every time she cleans someone’s teeth, certainly we can all put on a mask to get groceries.

I’m really leaning into the pretty mask thing; it’s taking all of my willpower not to order a different mask for every day of the week. There are so many cute ones to choose from! Lean in! Make it work! Match it with your outfit! They really bring out your eyes.

Costco Adventure

Speaking of groceries, the exciting news in my life is that there are no longer lineups to get into Costco. In fact, last week I went to Costco and Superstore and a) almost everyone was masked, particularly in Costco where they give you masks at the door if you do not have your own (super cute and outfit-matching one), b) there were no shortages of anything that I could see or was shopping for, and c) I am finally getting back joy in grocery shopping. It no longer feels like a grim and possibly deadly task; it feels like the happy, food-obtaining job that I have long enjoyed.

Friend Adventures

We saw our dear friends, who are more like chosen family (HI GUYS) this week for the first time since February, and it felt joyful and wonderful and almost normal. Well, except I wasn’t able to hug them; god, I miss hugging. The book I just finished reading talks about the importance of touch to our physical and mental health, and there was some study done about the optimal number of hugs a day; my family is getting the brunt of my unspent hugs. HUG MEEEEEE.

I also saw my dear friend Lyn (HI LYN) for the first time in a long while, and she is NOT a hugger, so I am sure she’s getting joy out of not being physically affectionately attacked by me.

Actual Mountain Adventure

I went on a beautiful hike with my very good friend Janet (HI JANET); we went to Lake Louise and hiked the Plain of the Six Glaciers, along with a little detour up to Lake Agnes, for a total of about sixteen kilometres and lots of elevation. It was an adventure; there had been a snowslide across the path and we had to go over it, discovering after the fact that it was completely hollowed out underneath. Oops. At the Glacier Lookout, there is an outhouse, and when I was using it I heard a great loud noise and felt a lot of wind. This was the culprit:

If you’ve ever wondered how they empty outhouses in remote mountain locations, wonder no more!

If you don’t strike a yoga pose when you are hiking in the mountains, are you even a yoga teacher?

Lake Louise is usually chock full of tourists at any given time, but the cold drizzly morning, and our early start, meant I actually was able to get a people-free photo.

The top of that mountain, the Big Beehive, is where my husband proposed to me, lo these many years ago. Aww! Shmoopy.

Pandemic Reading Adventure

You guys, the library is open, not just for curbside hold pickups, but actually open! I think I need an intervention:

I read a real variety of books this week, variety being the spice of life, etc.

Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) recommended this as a fun, light read, and it really was. Fun fact: the wardrobe budget for Clueless was only $200,000 – think of all the costumes! – and so they thrifted or made all the clothing in the show. Another fun fact: the actor who holds Cher up by gunpoint was essentially called an hour before to get the job. The original actor was being a dick about getting to the set for the call time so they fired him and just started phoning random actors they knew to play the part that afternoon. Remember my last post and all the talk about luck and timing?

This is the last of the Lives of the Saints trilogy; you may recall that I LOVED Lives of the Saints, but the second book I actively loathed. Why would I even bother reading the third, you may ask? Well. It’s a trilogy. I kind of had to. You get me. Anyway, it was not as good as the first but much better than the second, and because it’s Nino Ricci there is a gross, disturbing, and frankly disgusting plot line. However, I’m still glad I read it. I had to finish the trilogy, don’t judge.

My lovely friend Twyla (HI TWYLA) recommended this to me; with this type of book, I take what I need and leave the rest. I mean, I’m not going to stop using shampoo, drinking coffee, wearing a bra, or vaccinating. I’m highly unlikely to start smudging with sage or burning salts. But here’s the thing: I am a big fan of modern medicine, I love modern medicine, but I also am a huge proponent of complementary and preventative medicine; I truly believe in mind-body connections and that negative thoughts and the inability to forgive and let go can be toxic. If we have learned nothing else from Star Wars, it’s that anger and hatred lead to death. Well, everything leads to death, probability of death equals 1, we are all on a journey to savasana, but it would be nice if that journey was as long and as healthy as possible. Anyway, what I really liked about this book was the theme of self-love and self-care, and to practice loving-kindness towards yourself first, and also to others. What we send out in the world is an echo, and it comes back to you. It’s all about karma!

On that note, I am sending you all thoughts of loving-kindness, I hope you have a week full of wonderful adventures and much joy. xo

Luck Be A Lady; Sixteen Weeks In

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This past week, among other things, I read a book recommended to me by an old grad school friend called Success and Luck. As the title suggests, it explores the role luck plays in individual – and collective – success, success being defined here as the financial or economic type. Yes, there are many definitions of success in the world, it’s not all about the money, we could talk for days about how we measure material success but there are other WAYS to define success, I know, I know, but the book is written by an economist, was referred to me by an economist, and hell, I AM an economist, technically, although I haven’t worked in that field for many years.

Anyway, the role of luck is something I think about often, and so this book was fascinating to me. Every single job I’ve ever gotten has had an element of luck and timing to it, and each one of those jobs – from my very first as a library page to my job as a quantitative analyst on a natural gas trading floor to my job as a yoga teacher – has shaped my life. I am qualified, hard-working, and smart, but so are many people; luck and timing have so much to do with everything. The book wrote about actors who ALMOST didn’t get the parts that essentially made their careers: Al Pacino as Michael Corleone, Bryan Cranston as Walter White. Where would they be without those roles? Al Pacino could have landed minor supporting roles to supplement waiting tables, Bryan Cranston would have gone down in history as the guy who played the dad on Malcolm in the Middle.

But jobs aside, sometimes I will think of things that have happened in my life that almost DIDN’T happen, and how that would have changed everything. It’s like that urban myth of someone stepping off the sidewalk and suddenly a car careens into that spot; if that person hadn’t stepped off the sidewalk they would be dead. A butterfly flaps its wings and an earthquake occurs.

So much of our lives depend on things that happened before we were born; WHERE we were born, for example, and who to, and who they were born to, and so one ad infinitum. Of course we can make our own choices, and to some very limited extent, our own luck, but the world is a rich tapestry, people, and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Speaking of which, my husband recently saw the movie Into the Wild, and is now reading the Jon Krakauer book of the same name. Have you heard of this? A young man from a very intellectual and wealthy family leaves everything, burns his identification, and without telling any of his family members, changes his name to travel across the States, ultimately landing in Alaska, where he starves to death. Hoo boy. There are so many things about this story that bother me no end: the man wants to live off the land, essentially, and just be one with nature. Thoreau-like, if you will, except as we all know, Thoreau’s mother was always leaving him food and doing his laundry, and his little cabin in the woods was owned by a friend, and in fact Thoreau himself benefitted much from aid from friends and family. It’s funny how our baser needs must be taken care of before we can reach these higher intellectual achievements, and we could talk forever about how women have supported men in those achievements but it doesn’t typically work the other way around, a room of our own, a woman’s work is never done, et cetera, but let’s return to the story at hand before I digress too much.

Anyway, this man who died in Alaska: it turns out that he was about thirty- five kilometres away from the nearest town, that’s ALL. When he finally figured out that living in an abandoned bus, completely unprepared, with no food and no axe and no common sense, wasn’t what he wanted to do, when he figured out that being around other people is actually a good thing, he wasn’t able to cross the river that, three months earlier, had been largely frozen over and not swollen with snowmelt runoff. However, if he had explored less than two kilometres in either direction, he would have found places to cross, where he could have eventually made it back to the highway and, probably, not starved to death. There would have been no story, other people who died trying to find the old abandoned bus after the story became popular would still be alive, Sean Penn would have had one less movie under his directorial bibliography. A butterfly flaps its wings.

Pandemic Reading

Someone had recommended Conviction to me; I cannot remember who it was but I want to thank them. Not my usual type of book but I enjoyed it very much.

If you are looking for a cute, predictable, fluffy romance, this series is for you! It’s nice to just enjoy mind candy once in a while.

Late to the party but I can see why this was so popular. What a well-written and wonderful book. Talk about the role of luck and fortune; this book is full of it.

Pandemic Fitness

This weekend I got on my bike for the first time since last summer, and went riding with my older son. Things were a little muddy due to the torrential rains we have been having, but that just added to the fun.

Case in point: the boys and I went on a little Canada Day hike/ walk to the natural area near our house; it was awesome, yes, but we probably should have brought raincoats, looking at the sky. The heavens opened on us on our way home, and we were absolutely soaked.

Speaking of Canada Day, I will leave you with a photo of Barkley, festively dressed for the occasion.

Have a beautiful week! Here’s to being lucky. xo

Does Anyone Else Remember Hammerman; Fifteen Weeks In

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Last week, for no discernible reason, I remembered that MC Hammer had a cartoon television show called Hammerman; the actual show I do not remember at all, probably because I didn’t actually watch it, except that it featured magical shoes. Due to the magic that is the internet, I could watch an episode, or at least the theme song, which I recall was incredibly long and detailed, but I’d rather leave it as a strange memory bouncing around in my brain.

It’s funny sometimes, how popular culture from one’s childhood can just resurface for no particular reason. I’m not talking about Hammerman, as I was a teenager at the time of its popularity, such as it was, and again, I never watched it. But occasionally some Saturday morning cartoon memory will pop into my head, most notably from School House Rock or an obscure commercial for cheese (I hanker for a hunk of cheese!). I can still sing the entire theme song for ParticipAction – do it with your friends, you both can bend, do it with some hustle, you can make some muscle – and I can also still feel the shame of getting the Participant sticker, rather than the badges, handed out at gym class. I still cannot do a pull-up.

It’s incredible to think that forty years ago we were all exclusively watching Saturday morning cartoons and arranging our bathroom and cereal breaks around commercials; we had to wait a whole week to see who would be on the next episode of The Muppet Show, and an entire summer wondering who shot JR, and now anyone can watch anything at any time. I mean, I remember getting our first PVR approximately 13 years ago and the amazement that came from being able to pause and rewind live television, and now here we are, able to access Hammerman or Conjunction Junction on a whim. If I wanted to I could watch every single episode of The Facts of Life; my childhood self would be amazed and envious.

I remember learning, back in the Eighties, that some of the songs that were huge hits were also cover songs: I Think We’re Alone Now, Lean On Me, I Can’t Help Falling In Love, You Keep Me Hanging On. In recent years I discovered the OG versions of Hard to Handle and There’s Always Something There To Remind Me, and for all of the above, I prefer the originals. However, there are a few songs that I think are better as covers: Lovers In A Dangerous Time (Barenaked Ladies), Knocking on Heaven’s Door (Guns and Roses), and Light My Fire (Jose Feliciano). If you, dear reader, have any thing to add, I would love to hear it.

Speaking of hit songs, last week I learned something incredible: Jimmy Buffett has just released a new album. JIMMY BUFFETT. HAS JUST RELEASED A NEW ALBUM. Does anyone else find that amazing? I mean, for one thing, he’s 73 years old. For another thing, the man has an enormous number of albums to his name and I would challenge you to name any of them. You can’t, can you? And yet he is an incredibly successful recording artist with a devoted following, not to mention a Sirius channel of his own. Talk about finding your niche in the world. It’s quite inspiring, really. Where would we be without Margaritaville? Searching for our lost shakers of salt, I guess. We all enjoy Margaritaville, of course, but my personal favourite Jimmy Buffett song, one that I do not think gets enough accolades, is Why Don’t We Get Drunk and Screw. That is one catchy tune, and I am not being facetious. I just got a waterbed, it’s filled up for me and you.

Well, I’ll be singing that one all day, which is better than a few minutes ago, when it was ParticipAction, get with the action, do it, do it, do it.

Pandemic Reading

This was a fun week of re-reading the Rosie series. Initially I had thought that the trilogy got better and better with each book, but after reading them all this week, I have decided that they are all equally excellent in their own way, which is a huge and rare accomplishment for any trilogy. I really love how the books portray a person who processes the world differently, with so much affection and humour.

Yummy Things

I have been having the occasional Friday afternoon wine date with my dear friend and neighbour Taryn (HI TARYN); last week I made the three house trek to her backyard, carrying my brand new (thank you, Superstore, for your free gift with purchase) camping chair, and this tote bag packed with wine, my keys, and a glass. Isn’t it cute?

For Sunday night dessert last night, my older son made a pan of Reese Peanut Butter Bars; if you like peanut butter and chocolate and you see a package in the grocery store, buy it! The bars were very yummy and simple to put together.

What’s Blooming

This has been a strangely late year for almost all my shrubs and plants; the roses are coming along but still pretty stick-like, the dogwoods are not completely leafed out yet, and although my newly-planted clematis is blooming, my established one is not. However, the lilacs are fully out and almost finished, and the Siberian irises are glorious.

Pandemic Fitness

When running and walking this week, the lilac scents have been absolutely wonderful. Our fitness club has reopened with lots of restrictions, and I haven’t yet gone, but I’m considering doing a reconnaissance this week, as the weather has changed from Pleasant to Cold and Rainy. We will see.

Have a wonderful week, everybody! Keep safe! xo

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Hair Styling Tools Edition

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I am going to go out on a limb here and say that all of us – women, at least, but perhaps men too – have some sort of underlying hair trauma. By that I mean that we all have some sort of issue with our hair: maybe we had the Dorothy Hamill look back in the day, maybe a bad perm, maybe an ingrained belief that we have uniquely bad hair and nothing can be done about it, maybe all of the above. Maybe that’s just me? But I don’t think so.

The home perm.

This past week I was having a conversation with my mother-in-law, who was a very nifty number back in the day, about aging, and how it can be hard to reconcile what you see in the mirror with what you think you look like, as you age. Some days it is startling, to see the marionette lines and forehead lines and other signs of aging. My mother-in-law said that when she looks at me – or anyone else she loves, for that matter – she doesn’t see how the years have changed our faces, she doesn’t see wrinkles or age, she only sees the same person she’s always known and loved. She just sees ME.

Isn’t that a beautiful testament to the power of love and friendship? If only we could all see ourselves as others do. It would be the best Instagram filter ever, to view our faces and bodies through the kind and loving eyes of a friend. What my mother-in-law said is true; when I look at my friends I see how beautiful they are, and I see none of the so-called flaws that they themselves see when they look in the mirror. We are, always, our own worst critics.

The conversation was sparked by her making an appointment to get a perm, and segued into the customary grass-is-always-greener discussion about hair. Isn’t it the truth that no one is happy with their hair? Curly girls straighten their hair, straight-haired girls curl theirs, girls with thick hair get it thinned out, girls with thin hair are volumizing like crazy. Me? I have fine, semi-wavy hair that has been processed within an inch of its life.

Angela (HI ANGELA) asked me about my own hair texture and how I style it. Well, Angela, I live but to serve.

Nicole’s Favourite Things: The Hair Styling Tools Edition

Before we get started, I would like to point out that it has been over three months since I last had my hair cut, although I have coloured it myself since then. These photos were taken yesterday, which would be halfway through my hair colour cycle, so I think it’s a good indication of a typical hair day. I have noticed that since the Pandemic started, my hair has gone from above-the-shoulders to shoulder-length, and I will say that having longer hair again is wonderful for putting up in a bun; a bun is my go-to style at least 50% of the time, for days that I don’t wash my hair, or days that I’m teaching, or if I am going to be outside gardening, or if I’m going to be outside and there is inclement weather. I am going to keep growing it out for that reason alone.

But on days I do wash my hair, this is my regime, such as it is.

The Tools:

It’s a 3/4 inch barrel Conair curling iron – not expensive. Clearly aged.
The Loma is added before blow drying, the Senscience – which has, I think, been discontinued, why do they do that – is a thermal styling spray, and the Pantene is just regular hairspray. I have had those combs for SOME time.

The Process

As you can see, pre-blow-drying, my hair is neither curly nor straight, it’s not thick but – according to my hair therapist – not thin either. I’m everywoman. After my shower I usually let it air dry for ten or fifteen minutes; I putter around the house, I make a smoothie, I contemplate my existence while listening to the boys talk about WWE.

I blow dry my hair upside down for added volume and this is what I look like. I feel pretty.

The light is terrible in this bathroom. That must be it. Anyway, I use the small comb to backcomb a little as my hair has a tendency to go limp, I spray the backcombed part with Pantene, and I admire my look.

After the backcomb extravaganza, I smooth things out, such as they are. It still looks weirdly voluminous, but just wait.

This is the Nellie Olsen stage of my hair. I use the curling iron to achieve the goal of looking like Laura’s nemesis, first spraying with Senscience. This part takes about five minutes.

I comb it out with the wide tooth comb, spray with Pantene, and leave the bad-lighting bathroom to put on lipgloss and jewelry, very important steps in the selfie process.

And that’s it! The whole process – from blow-drying to the final hairspray – takes about 15 minutes, give or take a minute or two. In contrast, putting my hair in a bun takes less than five, so my get-ready routine depends on the day.

Time to get on with my day. Have a great weekend, everyone. xo

We Were On A Break!; Fourteen Weeks In

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One of the worst story lines and subsequent catchphrases that ever came out of a television show was Ross and Rachel’s “we were on a break.” Back my early twenties, when Friends was popular and we all had the Rachel hair style, many, many parallels could be drawn between that show and my life, including but not limited to weird boyfriend possessiveness over academic successes and future careers, breakups and makeups with said boyfriend, jealousy, and the wearing of high-waisted jeans with crop tops. It was a strange time, the Nineties, and when my son watched Friends a few years ago, he agreed that the story line was lame, but pointed out that there were also pet monkeys, many apartment changes, babies that come and go randomly, and the ability to go right up to the gate without actually boarding an airplane. The latter was something that really happened, I told him, to his disbelief.

Last week, we were on a break! We took a road trip to our vacation house, which used to be the Place We Stayed In but due to renovations started last November, that are almost finished, it is now a Vacation House. Honestly, that renovation is worthy of its own post. Previously, the Place We Stayed In had a toilet that flushed maybe a third of the time – at best, usually by the end of our stay it would flush one time in ten – a kitchen that was nearly non-functioning, one bed, located in the TV room, furniture from the 1950s, and a shower that allowed no more than five minutes per use, followed by an hour to drain and reset. The last time we were there, on the last day of our visit during Thanksgiving, the toilet backed up into the shower while I was in it and that was it. The renovations were started.

I am so happy that we spent the money to renovate, because a) who knows when we will go on an Exotic Winter Vacation again, and b) the toilet flushes and we can shower properly now. Who knew how important those things were to our happiness? Plus, a functioning kitchen.

Prepping for a road trip is always a lot of work; prepping for a road trip when you are not planning to go to any stores or eat out at all is something else. I spent weeks making lists about groceries to take, how to keep things frozen and cold for the drive, could we get by with one grocery trip and if so, what was needed, etc. This, in addition to a car full of various housewares, cleaning supplies, dishes, and small appliances that I had been amassing for the Vacation House. Back in November I took advantage of some insane Black Friday sales; some of the new things stayed in our house with our old ones going to the Vacation House, and some things went there. The pile of items to take, that was in my pantry/ storage room at home grew enormous, and now I have that room back.

The kids are officially finished with school now, so it felt like a nice kick-off to what promises to be a strange, but hopefully happy, summer vacation. We had some good quality family time, playing cards and going on hikes and walks. There was one hike that had some pretty tense moments as there was no signage at all and some Discussion about which way to go, a Discussion that did not get better after talking to a man who may or may not have been high, who told us that there was a loop we could do if we followed the path behind him and stayed right. We did that but ended up going at least a half hour in the wrong direction; at one point I had the Gilligan Island theme song stuck in my mind. A three hour tour…would we start having to make radios out of pine cones? We turned around and came back the way we came, got eaten alive by mosquitoes, and when I later remembered later that evening – this would have been good to remember PRIOR to the hike but let us learn from our mistakes – that I had the All Trails app on my phone, I looked at it. There WAS NO LOOP. It was a straight out-and-back and who was that man? Where did he come from?

During the hike the boys had a great time discussing Who We Would Be If We Were On The WWE, the WWE being their new favourite thing, and the debate as to “which one is better, Raw or Smackdown” rages on. They came to the conclusion that my WWE character would be a zen master yogi, and my intro would be Om chants or Indian music while the lights slowly went on to show me in lotus position, meditating. My signature move would be a tree hybrid with my hands in prayer above my head, only to come down in a version of the People’s Elbow or possibly an axe-chop.

Me, in the WWE.

The guys, contemplating life with me in the WWE.

Pandemic Reading

I read this a few years ago and it’s worth a reread. You all know how much I love a good collection of essays; this one is both hilarious and very thought provoking, about life as a woman and as a daughter of immigrants. The stories about waxing and the discovery of a life-changing skirt had me crying with laughter.

I can’t even begin to say how much I liked this book. It was so well done, and I couldn’t put it down. NOTICE THE LIBRARY STICKER. The library is now partially open; holds are available for curbside pickup. A few of my holds have started coming in and I can’t even begin to tell you how exciting it is.

Yummy Things

Since we were in wine country, I drank a lot of wine on our new deck. Related: now that we are home, I am feeling pretty bloated and like I need a whole-body reset.

That’s Tantalus wine in my hand.

This was probably the best Syrah I have ever had in my entire life.

For Father’s Day, my husband grilled his own steaks in the pouring rain while also unclogging the drainpipe that had become plugged with spruce needles and cones, due to all the storms that happened the week we were gone. But he also got a delicious carrot cake, made by moi.

Pandemic Fitness

I forgot to screen shot my weekly movement reports, but lots of walks, hikes, and runs. It only semi-counteracted the wine consumption.

Learning New Things and Saving Money; Thirteen Weeks In

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You guys, look what I got!

Do you SEE what that is? GEL SANITIZER! I haven’t seen gel sanitizer since before the pandemic started. I’ve only been able to purchase the really liquidy kind made by local alcohol companies and the spray kind made with hydrogen peroxide.

Last summer a little Pharmasave opened up just a couple of blocks away from my house, in a brand new little complex, and honestly, I wondered if it would be able to make a go of it. I love new local businesses, but if I stand at my front door and walk in any direction for ten or fifteen minutes, I would come to no fewer than five pharmacies, including the Pharmasave. I wondered if the market wasn’t already saturated but as it turns out, Jason at Pharmasave is the hero we all needed during this pandemic. It’s a small place so it’s easy to see if there are many customers inside, there is a space to wait outside if one needs to social distance, and, most important, Jason has been posting the worst dad jokes on our community Facebook page, along with information about the things he has on offer, from vaccines to Haribo candy to GEL SANITIZER. When he posted last week I popped over to get a bottle, plus Lysol – I haven’t seen Lysol in months, I usually use my favourite hippie-natural cleansers but in a pandemic needs must – and some masks. A few weeks ago I had ordered cloth masks for the guys, plus an extra for me, but for SOME REASON the company was all backed up on orders, and they arrived hours after the guys went for their eye appointments, which was specifically what I ordered them for. Anyway, it’s nice to have extras on hand for the few medical appointments we’ve been going to, and I’ve been only buying them from the Pharmasave. Those terrible dad jokes have made me a customer for life. And the gel sanitizer.

Speaking of appointments: the dentist. My appointment on Monday was NOT a cleaning, like I thought, but an actual check-up with x-rays, and so I have a cleaning to Look Forward To in a few weeks. Every time I go to an appointment, I get more and more confident about actually leaving the house on non-grocery trips, with all the protocols in place. When I got to the dentist, I called them from the parking lot and waited for them to come and get me. They locked the door behind me so no one could just pop in, and at the door was a sanitizing station and a form to sign saying that I hadn’t any symptoms or wasn’t in contact with anyone who had, and so forth. I was the only person in the waiting room, and I wore a mask, as did the women working at the desks. I only removed the mask when I was actually in the dentist’s chair, and to be honest, it felt weird, like I was a little bit naked. It’s funny how quickly we get used to things. Taking off my mask felt like I had suddenly whipped off my shirt and was sitting there, topless, in the dentist’s chair, while everyone around me was clothed normally. I also had to rinse my mouth with a special wash, and the keypad was sanitized before – and after, I assume – I paid. It felt very safe, as safe as physically possible, so now I just have the customary dread about getting my teeth scaled, and not, you know, becoming a disease vector.

When I first coloured my hair at home, I texted a photo to a group of friends. My friend Tora (HI TORA) who is always a cheerful and positive person – seriously, she’s a ray of sunshine, and she is the same Tora who made my adorable pink heart mask – said about my DIY hair “We are learning new things and saving money!” It was a very invigorating statement to me, very Can-Do Just Like Ma Ingalls. Yes! I’m learning new things! And I’m saving money! I have thought about that a lot during this pandemic as I figure out how to make my own mint extract and plan to dry my own herbs. I thought about it last week when I gave myself a bikini wax.

I have given myself many waxes many times; I’ve waxed my own arms, thighs, and upper lip. However, I have always thought – correctly, as it turns out – that the bikini line is really much better suited for the professionals. As it turns out, estheticians are able to start working now, as we are in Phase Two of the Reopening, but even if I am comfortable going to the dentist, getting a bikini wax does not feel the same, importance-wise. For one thing, it is unlikely that I will wear a bikini any time in the next year. However, like most of my beauty rituals, this one is for ME and me alone, and I just could not take it any more. I dug through the drawer in the bathroom to find the box of special “extra sensitive” wax strips that I bought a month back, for this very moment.

Honestly, I kind of hoped I would have never needed it and it would have sat in the drawer, untouched, for years to come. But I was at the point where it was Action Time.

I learned two important things. First, giving yourself a bikini wax is hard. I am a nimble and bendy person and it was very difficult to, ahem, position everything correctly. I thought of my long-suffering esthetician, Tracey. Not all heroes wear capes, people.

Second, I don’t know what your bikini situation is like, but mine, well, how to put this delicately. I guess there is no way to put this delicately and really, this whole blog lost delicacy many years ago, if ever it had it. At one point I realized that the only way out was through, and that one box of wax strips was insufficient for the problem set in front of me. That was startling. The feminine mystique stands to take a bit of a beating here. I really empathized with the waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin: We’re gonna need more wax! 

Well, I did my best with what I had and used tweezers on the rest. All in all, I would give myself a B-minus on the finished product. I was pretty proud of myself, merely-adequate results not withstanding.

The very next day I was outside weeding – weeding, bikini waxing, it’s all one – and my husband called me inside. There was a phone call! For me! It was the local spa, the one beside the Pharmasave, calling to see if I wanted to reschedule the bikini wax that was cancelled in March. Well…I started off. To tell you the truth…

At some point I will go back, because I really like Tracey and I really like that little local business. Maybe next month. Just because I can do it myself doesn’t mean I really want to.

Pandemic Reading 

I first read this for my book club, in the early 2000s, and it has sat on my shelf ever since. Time for a re-read! It is excellent; I love books with such intertwined characters and timelines. This was Zadie Smith’s debut; it is fascinating to me when an author starts her career with such an incredible work of art. It’s a very clever and witty look into culture and race, and I highly recommend it.

Have a beautiful week, friends. xo