Frankie Says Relax, Van Halen Says It’s 1984

Last night when my husband was watching football and doing what we have been doing for the past 78 days – flipping the channel when a political commercial came on, which was approximately every ninety seconds – it occurred to me: after tonight, no more political commercials. My god, this entire campaign has been very bad for my psyche. At this point I’m like Winston at the end of 1984: completely broken. I almost – ALMOST – don’t care who is elected, just don’t let the rats eat my face, if you know what I mean. Enough with the negativity.

I don’t want to talk about the election, but I want to say one thing: someone on my Facebook the other day said I just voted! Go vote everyone. Unless you’re voting Conservative.


In other words, make sure you exercise your democratic right to vote, as long as you vote the way I do, otherwise fuck off. That’s a great message, thanks. THE RATS ARE GOING TO EAT MY FACE.

To be clear, I don’t care how you vote or who you vote for. I’m not using this blog to endorse one party over another. I just hate this kind of shit, you know?

Bah, I shouldn’t let what is – ostensibly – a joke bother me. If I let myself get worked up about political messages on Facebook, next thing you know I’ll be a person writing outraged letters to IHOP because of their advertising practices.

Anyway, this is my week to semi-relax after a hectic month. I just have a regular amount of work to do, and that’s it. It seems miraculous. I threw a party for my husband’s birthday on the weekend, and it was a lot of fun. It was crazy-hectic getting ready for it though, because I was not home for five of the seven days leading up to it, and it’s kind of hard to organize things that way. But a good time was had by all, although we ended up with MORE beer than we started with, and most of the guests were drinking beer all night. Magical. Anyone want to come over for a beer? We have a few. We also have this awesome wine gift bag that I kind of want to frame, or something:


Maybe I’ll carry my water bottle in this everywhere, I love it so much.

I’m taking this quiet-ish week to start preparing for the book fair. Woo. This will be my fifteenth fair, which makes me feel like I’ve rocketed right into the old age home. The difference is that I now have a co-coordinator who is going to take over when I’m gone, thank you thank you thank you. I am so thrilled with this turn of events that I want to shower her with wine and chocolates and many many hugs, but I’m slightly afraid of coming on too strong.  

To end things on a fun note, remember when I got a message from the “passionate and romantic” Birky Tony, wanting to get to know me better and to put a smile on my face? Well, apparently my lack of interest in poor Birky means that maybe I’m a man, because I got the following message from one Omelchenko Anastasiya:

Hi! I am looking for a mature, gallant experienced man with various interests, so, we have plenty to talk about. I like to reveal myself gradually. I am peaceful and do not suffer from depression. I am a confident woman. But most importantly my dignity as a woman is my beauty. I can talk about anything but I am also a good listener. I like sport, traveling, cooking, communication with friends. Do not try to look perfect, I need a real man. Let’s get to know each other better? Regards, Anastasiya.

Lots of options. If only I was a mature, gallant, experienced man who was looking for a non-depressed, dignified woman who likes communicating with friends, I could stop trying to look so perfect all the time.


  1. Well, it’s all over now. And may I suggest you never move to the U.S.?

  2. My facebook feed was pretty polite about encouraging everyone to vote. The posts about whom to vote for were very hard to miss a week ago, though.

    It’s my son’s first book fair this week! I have parent-teacher interviews so my sister-in-law is taking him! I see inappropriate books and small erasers in my future.

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