Oooh, I hated the Colonel, with his WEE BEADY EYES

After my last post, I had a few people grumpily say There is NOTHING good about January, to which I respond, sunnily, There is only a week left!  One week and then we are into February!  So there’s a positive thought for you, even if it is just time tick-tick-ticking away.  Also, tomorrow is Robbie Burns’ Day, for all you of Scottish or partial Scottish heritage.  Time for the annual viewing of So I Married An Axe Murderer, complete with Rod Stewart and the Bay City Rollers impersonations.  My dad is probably gearing up for a Haggis feast right this very second.  I was in the grocery store the other day and noticed this sign:

It’s so cheerful!  Got Haggis? 

Gracious, that’s repellent.  Well, the Scots are not known for their cuisine, that is for sure.  Anyone for some sausage cooked in a lamb’s stomach with a side of boiled potatoes?  OH YES PLEASE.  Has anyone noticed that there is not exactly a plethora of Scottish cookbooks around?  There is a reason. 

So I’m not a fan, of haggis or boiled potatoes.  But each to his own, right?  For example, my husband hates my new hairband, which I think is the cutest thing ever.  It has a bow on it!  And lest you think that I look like I’m about to break into the Good Ship Lollipop, the bow is very small:

I think it’s cute, anyway.  It occurred to me that the gap between what my husband thinks is cute and stylish and what I think is cute and stylish is often very wide indeed.  I do tend to pause, if he has issue with something I think is tres adorable, because after all I do not want to become one of those women who bring to mind the wretched “mutton dressed as lamb” saying.  It’s good to have feedback, even if that feedback isn’t exactly what we want to hear. 

Which brings to mind something I meant to mention last week, but I was too mired in the January Blues.  Kate Middleton is, in my opinion, the most beautiful woman in the world.  What I wouldn’t do for her hair and her wardrobe.  Her shoes!  Anyway, she is, without a doubt, stunning.  This portrait, however, is not:

Now, I’m no artist.  (This is an understatement.  I can draw little stick people, daisies, and a happy little sun and that is about it.)  However, I find myself a bit depressed about this portrait.  If this can happen to Kate, what chance do the rest of us have?  At least her hair still looks fabulous, even though her eyes look strangely dead and she looks like she needs to sleep for twelve hours. 

All of which is to say, feedback is good, even if it is not what we wish to hear.  And yes, I know that Kate was purportedly thrilled with this portrait, and to that I think, well, what is she going to say?  Is she going to threaten to have him beheaded and throw a bucketful of paint at it?  I’m guessing NOT.  I’m guessing she dug deep into her good manners reserves, smiled politely, went home, and berated William with questions “Do I need a new undereye concealer?  My god, why didn’t you TELL ME?” 


  1. She’s looking very…manly around the neck and chin area, too. Which she definitely does not in real life.

  2. I think Kate is so beautiful too! but I have noticed before.. considering she is what 30? that she does look a little ruff sometimes..they probably work her a lot with this function and that function and lots of pressure to look perfect all the time..I doubt shes one to consider plastic surgery or has time for fancy spas and facials every week..and she is pretty thin ..and sometimes the skinnier laddies get the wrinkles and bags faster..Fat doesn’t crack! LoLLL that’s one of the few good things about chunky cheeks loll

  3. Good lord, what is the point of having one’s portrait painted if it is not also the artistic equivalent of being photoshopped in the process? I guess I’m shallow, but if I were Kate I’d be yearning for ye olde days when the Queen to be could throw someone in the dungeon for painting such a terrible representation of her. Bah!

    I have two items of clothing that my husband expressed real dislike for. They are two of a few pieces I regularly receive compliments on from women, so, not sure about his taste or maybe it’s a man thing? Who knows.

  4. I agree with Maggie – if I was the future Queen of England I’d bloody well want to look even better in the portraits than I do in real life.


    Haggis! A meal I swear every year around this time to try one day, because my heritage is basically an even split between German and Scottish. If there is any traditional cuisine that can rival the Scots for sheer Chest-Hair-Growing-Peasant-Feeding-Awfulness it’s German, and I LOVE nasty German food.

    I think I don’t try haggis because I’m afraid I’d like it. Although don’t they ‘toast the haggis’ with the traditional dram of whiskey because you can only enjoy the taste of organ meat & oatmeal if you’re shitfaced first?

  5. I’m slated to eat haggis this Saturday at a Robbie Burns Day party. I’m either going to get so smashed I won’t notice that I’m eating sheep stomach or count on everyone else getting so smashed they won’t notice that I’m eating M&Ms out of my pocket. And I could not agree more about the portrait – off with his head! You’ll never paint in this town again! Hell no we won’t go!

  6. Haggis! I would so make it for the kids and tell them what it is after they ate it.

    I’m not a fan of Kate’s painted picture. :/

  7. That portrait is just AWFUL. She has such a gorgeous smile – why not just let her beam it out? or, if you wanted a more serious shot, just have her looking calm and wise, not like she’s fighting the urge to vomit. Plus, her eyes, WHAT UP? She’s like a zombie that ate too many hot dogs. BURB.

  8. I think Kate’s portrait is good, in terms of stellar artistic merit and an accurate representation of what she TRULY looks like. But I also think it’s unflattering. My biggest issue with the portrait is that it’s dark and murky looking. Why doesn’t she have on a colour blouse (hehehe — “blouse” is a funny word) and the background it too stark.

    I’ve always admired Queen Elizabeth for sitting for formal portraits and photographs that have been unflattering but accurate representations of her face and body as she ages. Maybe Kate is following her lead.


  1. […] “too long” and “looking bedraggled”. Um, what? Other than her dreadful Official Portrait, I don’t think there has ever been a bad picture of the duchess. Her hair especially is […]

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