I think hell just did freeze over.

I woke up this morning and it was minus thirty with windchill, and all I could think while I watched the weather report was at least I’m not in Regina. Or Flin Flon. Because minus 49 – which is the temperature in those places – is really really cold. We all have to look on the bright side, and speaking of which, it is the last week of February. How did that happen? This afternoon I’m setting up the book fair, and then running it for the next few days, and then doing all the paperwork and counting all the money and generally revelling in my unpaid but much lauded career as the Book Fair Lady.

Way, way back in the eighties, I was a candy-striper at a nursing home. During my time of bringing cheer to the elderly, I would play old-timey music on the piano for the Sing-Along hour. To this day I have a vast knowledge of songs that were popular between WWI and WWII, proven when I started singing “If You Were The Only Girl In The World” while watching Downton Abbey with my husband. “How do you KNOW that song?” he asked, slightly aghast. I am an onion full of layers, my dear. The old people used to go nuts over that song, as well as “It Had To Be You” and “A Shanty in Shantytown”.

Speaking of interesting musical performances, my kids’ recorder performance is tomorrow, as well as – apparently – Russian dancing and some other musical numbers. I’m not quite sure what exactly is going on, except that Jake has informed me he is in a dance number set to “Rasputin” and Mark told me he’s hoping to play the bass xylophone. Suffice it to say I’m PRETTY excited to attend tomorrow’s performance. Somewhat relatedly, the children have informed me that they need to wear their Olympics shirts and/ or an outfit that represents their country of origin and so I’m assuming there will be some kind of international celebration, culminating in a recorder performance of Hot Cross Buns. Mark told me that he is very nervous for the performance, because his class is, he says, “terrible” at the recorder. How terrible can Hot Cross Buns be? I shall report back.


My husband was watching the CBC (sign of age: when you refer to it as “the” CBC) and there was a special segment about the men’s curling team. I made him stop and rewind because THE LADY WILL HAVE TWO TICKETS TO THE GUN SHOW, PLEASE. Is it me, or have curlers changed their image significantly? In my day, curlers did NOT look like that. The ladies are quite lovely too; they used to sport “mom” haircuts and now they are all young and dazzling. I guess I should say “old-lady” haircuts since we are the moms now. This is our hair. “Mom” is not a synonym for “lame”, not anymore!

Speaking of which, I read that Kate Middleton is being criticized about her hair; apparently it’s “too long” and “looking bedraggled”. Um, what? Other than her dreadful Official Portrait, I don’t think there has ever been a bad picture of the duchess. Her hair especially is lovely. Apparently the criticism is largely coming from Camilla Parker-Bowles who is a) apparently taking her role of mother-in-law to a cliched unfriendly level, and b) a Very Bad Person and a Homewrecker, according to my late grandmother, who thought she was the devil incarnate. What I’m saying is, DON’T LISTEN TO HER, KATE. You look gorgeous. Also, I wish I had your wardrobe. Not that it would be very practical to wear Manolos to the book fair, but a girl can dream, can’t she?


  1. Kate is getting shit from Camilla AND the Queen, apparently, because her hair blows around when she’s outside, and there have been some pictures of her with her “flowing” skirts flashing too much leg. To which I say WHATEVER, she’s a gorgeous girl and looks comfortable & approachable, and maybe the old guard needs to lighten up. Like, a lot.

    I KNOW WHAT THE BASS XYLOPHONE IS!!!! I played it in a concert when I was in the 3rd grade. Happiness.

  2. I am looking forward to your report on the concert. If it goes well, I will be happy for your kids. If it doesn’t, there should be some entertainment value for you, and then for us. It’s a win-win.

  3. If I had Kate Middleton’s hair, I’d never cut it. She’s like a shampoo model. It’s lovely! Suck it Camilla (evidently I have stronger feelings about KM’s hair than I realized).

    So far nothing has topped the horrifying murder of a number of countries’ national anthems during Oldest’s 4th grade recorder concert last year. I was prepared for an international incident to break out if any of the countries heard how their anthems had been massacred. I’m still a bit scarred.

  4. Somebody attempted to have NATIONAL ANTHEMS played on the RECORDER? If nothing else, you have to admire the moxie. Maybe if the concert goes horribly south, you can invent a book fair emergency.

    And yeah. I’d do Jennifer Jones in a heartbeat. Although I hate watching curling.

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