Thank you all so much for weighing in on last week’s question! I am cautiously optimistic and hopeful, and also clinging to my mask collection.
I did take advantage of the Big Reopening in one way, and that was to visit my parents for four nights. It’s interesting; I am a person who thrives on routine and yet having a pandemic-length constant day-to-day routine has worn me down mentally. Just like everyone else, it has been a real drag to just keep trudging along, day after day, with nothing to really look forward to and no enjoyable distractions.
All of which is to say, after four nights up at the lake, with beautiful weather and even a birthday celebration for one of my nieces, I feel like an Entirely New Woman. I am so refreshed and rejuvenated! We spent so much time on the boat, swimming, paddleboarding, being outside, and drinking margaritas; it was absolutely the mini-vacation I needed. My parents have hardly seen us in the past year and a half, and it just felt So Good.
It’s back to reality this week, but I feel like I can really face reality once again! A while back, I was listening to a guided meditation, and the words Finding Magic in the Mundane came up. I have been thinking about that a lot; given that we have had sixty-eight weeks of Mundane, I think that lately it’s been hard for me to Find The Magic. My ability to Find The Magic has been fading, without me even realizing it. “Find The Magic In The Mundane!” I would say to myself, and then I would stare blankly at the pile of laundry or the dishes in the sink or the groceries to be put away.
In any case, I’m excited about a fresh new week, even the mundane parts. I have tiny little peapods in my garden, tiny little zucchinis and tomatoes, the lettuce and kale are going wild, and the daylilies and roses are all starting to bloom. Life is good. Maybe even magical.
Outfit of the Week
This week’s outfit is slightly ridiculous, but it’s not every day you see a thirty-three year-old inflatable Olympic Mascot while on your morning constitutional.
Remember Hidy?
I love my Good Vibes tank top, and those silly shorts are at least six years old, from Old Navy; I wear them only when exercising in very hot conditions. I actually wore them to swim in. It was hot enough for me to want to actually jump into the water, but I was wearing a bikini underneath and I worried I would have a wardrobe malfunction that would send my kids into therapy, so I left my shorts on.
Every once in a while, I need to remind my kids that I’m a good swimmer and I need to remind myself that it’s fun to get my hair wet.
Pandemic Reading
Animal. This was one of the darkest, most disturbing books I have ever read. It is ROUGH. I cannot say I liked it, but I found it compelling. I wanted to see how it ended and, well, it’s DARK. The book synopsis said that it follows a woman who goes from prey to predator, and that’s sort of accurate, but also not.
I hope you all have a beautiful and magical week, even if it is mundane. xo
Sixty-seven weeks! My friend Steph (HI STEPH) mentioned that at some point soon, she would stop using “Coronavirus Chronicles” in her blog titles, as she has been doing for – probably – sixty-seven weeks, and it reminded me that I, too, must consider when to stop the weekly count. The problem is, when? Do I stop when the pandemic is officially OVER, as declared by the World Health Organization? Do I stop when it’s over in Canada? In Alberta? When I can go on vacation without fear of debilitating illness? What shall I do with this entirely optional and arbitrary rule that I have brought on myself?
Sixty-seven weeks into the pandemic, and it’s been a pretty exciting one in the Boyhouse, as the boys – all three of them – received their second vaccinations on the weekend. This happened a full two and a half weeks before I thought they would get their shots, god bless the good people at the Pharmasave down the street. That Pharmasave opened up in 2019 and it has been a godsend for this community.
I’m so happy we are all vaccinated because as of July 1 our province has declared us all “Open For Summer” which means, as far as I can tell, a total free-for-all in terms of health protocols. Um, guys? Can we ease into things here? I have already noticed that the maximum capacity for places such as Costco and Superstore have been increased, as both places felt uncomfortably crowded to me this week, although people are still masked and, as far as they can, distancing. I personally do not feel ready to attend any venues, indoor or outdoor, that are crowded and possibly maskless.
So here is a question for my American friends: if your state is “open” and all the mask mandates and other health protocols have been dropped, how are you doing? Are Covid numbers spiking or is everything…normal? I guess what I’m asking is should I expect a fourth Covid wave, or are things going to be okay?
In any case, we aren’t really changing our behaviour around here, except to visit with our vaccinated friends and family, which will be nice. I have no plans to, for example, eat in a restaurant or go to any place where there might be crowds (Stampede, I’m looking at you.) I will continue to mask up when I need to be indoors; you will have to tear my cute, outfit-coordinated mask off my cold, dead face. With that in mind, we are all ready to dive into summer, and we have ALSO been having actual summer weather, as in “non-Calgary” summer weather! We have had beautiful heat interspersed with a day of intense rain, and so the garden is very happy and so am I.
Outfit of the Week
Probably the very best thing about living where I do is the proximity to the Rockies; there is so much beauty right on our doorstep.
My soul sister Janet (HI JANET) and I went on a fairly epic hike last week; it was a total of about 13 kilometres, with about 950 metres of elevation, and it felt like most of that elevation was in the last kilometre. Hoo boy, that was a booty burner. Look at that view, though!
This week’s outfit is a hiking outfit, complete with hiking poles. I cannot recommend hiking poles enough for high-elevation hikes. Going up is one thing, coming down is another. I don’t think I could have done it without my poles, I would still be up at the top. Even with poles, I slipped and fell on my aforementioned booty a couple of times on the way down.
It was a pretty hot day, and I love this old tank from lululemon for outdoor activities, as it is fairly high in the neck so as to protect that delicate skin in the chest area. These tights are technically running tights, but they are great as they have side pockets to slip a phone in for easy photo-taking access.
If you’re hiking in the Rockies, good boots and socks are a must. It seems weird to wear heavy wool socks with heavy hiking boots on a hot summer day, but both are a must for blister prevention and ankle support on rough, uneven terrain.
Pandemic Reading
A Very Punchable Face. This was a pretty fun read. Some parts dragged but mostly it was interesting to read about Jost’s life going from Staten Island to Harvard – he was in the Harvard Lampoon – to becoming a writer on SNL. He was very young when he started at SNL, like 22, which surprised me. There were lots of details about how he felt like he didn’t belong: as a child, at Harvard, at SNL. As Suzanne (HI SUZANNE) said, I could have done with a lot FEWER details about the many times he soiled his pants as an adult, although I could also have skipped that chapter, so caveat emptor. In general, it was pretty entertaining. The chapter on “notes from the censor” alone is worth the read. Oh, and he and Michael Che were in a match at Wrestle Mania and thanks to the people I live with, I actually understood that chapter and recognized all the wrestler names, at which time I stared into space for a while and wondered who, exactly, I have become.
The Other Black Girl. Wow, this was one of the most original and unsettling books I’ve ever read. I read A Lot and I had no idea how this was going to go. It really asks the question about what POC give up to achieve success in a white world: does one go along to get along, or fight the power? Disturbing and engrossing. I really liked it.
As a privileged white woman, I believe it is my job to listen to and read about other people’s experiences in the world. It’s very common for white people to say “I don’t see colour” but what I am hearing is that this attitude is hurtful and dismissive to people of colour. Through my reading and listening I am learning about microaggressions and ingrained racism – most white people would deny racism, but I think there is more to it than that. I think there are generations of ingrained attitudes before us, and we need to listen to and learn from people of colour and what their lives are like on a day-to-day basis in a white-dominant world. This book really brought that home for me.
The Missing Treasures of Amy Ashton. I admit I nearly took this back to the library upon the reveal, in the first chapter, that the main character is a hoarder. No thanks. But I try to be an open minded person and so I kept reading. It’s a strange combination of charming, light mystery-romance, and grim and dark story about loss and undiagnosed mental illness. It’s weirdly satisfying but also kind of depressing. Throughout the book I kept thinking in my Mom Voice “MAKE BETTER CHOICES.”
Happy start-of-summer, everyone! I hope you have a beautiful week. xo
As of Tuesday this week, the boys will be finished their final exams and this very strange school year will be in the rearview mirror. I am always pretty Landslide-y in June – another year gone, children get older, I’m getting older too – and even though it was been a very weird year, I am really feeling it. In fact, I might be feeling it more since these are my kids’ HIGH SCHOOL YEARS, they should be enjoying them to the fullest, and they are, but the “fullest” has different meanings during a global pandemic. Also, this time next year, my oldest will be 18 and have graduated, which fills me with ALL KINDS of feelings, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Speaking of my oldest and the high school experience, he mentioned that he met a girl at school, and she’s really funny and nice. He was talking about her quite a bit, and so I said in that Teasing Mom Voice we all have, Oooohhh, is she CUTE? He replied yes, with a smile, and then stopped. “I mean, I think so. I haven’t actually seen her whole face.”
So there’s that.
The final exams this year, like last year, were “non-jeopardy,” meaning that they can boost final marks, but they cannot lower them. Both of my boys were going into their finals with high marks, so you can imagine the level of motivation around here, knowing that no matter what happened on the exam, their transcript marks would remain high. I was trying to encourage them to give it their all, it’s good practice for the future, and who knows, maybe your mark will go up a percentage point or two, but you know what, I give up.
So the boys are home and my husband has been back working from home and will be for the next while, and my quiet house is quiet no more; we are back to Everybody Is Home All The Time.
What An Age We Live In
Fun fact about high school teachers: they have fewer in-class hours than teachers in younger grades, and so to satisfy that part of their union contract, the school institutes mandatory tutorials during the exam break, which was last week and this week. Final exams are taken in the mornings, each day a different subject, and then in the afternoon are these mandatory tutorials. The tutorials are mandatory even after the final exam in that subject has been written, and in classes in which there was no final exam, such as phys ed. It was widely acknowledged BY THE TEACHERS that no actual work would be done in class, no new learning, and one teacher even shook his head “no” as he told the students that tutorials were mandatory. I told the boys that of course they didn’t have to waste their time going to the tutorials, unless they needed extra help, just study at home – insofar as “studying” was required – and found out later that they were in the minority in their friend group. Almost all of their of their friends were forced by their parents to go. Oh well. I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom.
I might not have been so cool had I known I would be inundated with messages from the school about their truancy. The very first day of exams, after one son had written his science final and the other spent several hours at home studying for math, my phone pinged with PowerSchool notifications that the boys were marked unexcused for their afternoon classes. Including, for my younger son, gym. Then both my husband and I received emails from the school and I even got a PHONE CALL on my landline to inform me of their absence. This continued throughout exam break and honestly, I understand that it is part of the job and attendance is important for optimal learning outcomes but my god.
I do genuinely believe that there is merit in forcing oneself to perform arbitrary functions, even when those arbitrary functions are ridiculous and meaningless, because we live in a society and occasionally such things are required of us. For example, sanitizing your hands upon entering a store in the mall, even though you JUST sanitized your hands three minutes ago upon entering a different store and have touched nothing since. It’s important to model good behaviour and signal your citizenship in society, even to the detriment of your skin and possibly your microbiome.
However. It’s June. The boys have been really, really great for this whole school year. They have been engaged in their classes, even when bouncing between online and in-class learning, they have not missed a single class, they have kept their marks higher than I could have even hoped for. I am going to stand by my possibly shoddy parenting decision and in any case, the tutorials are – I hope – wrapping up this week, which will cut down on the truancy notifications I receive. Also, I am really glad this technology did not exist when I was in high school.
The Same Nicole You Know And Love, Now With Superpowers
On Saturday I got my second Covid vaccine shot, and my superpowers are officially activated. If a certain section of the anti-vax people are correct, I am now magnetic, and will possibly be dead in two years! Well, I had a good run.
I am so grateful to be vaccinated, I am so grateful for all the hard-working people who have made this happen, and I am really hoping that we will never walk this path again. Mostly I am just looking forward to being my normal huggy self, without feeling like we are all vectors of disease.
For those who are interested, as per current recommendations I received the Pfizer vaccine, as a follow-up from my Astra Zenica. In terms of side effects, I was extremely tired and sleepy afterwards. I mean, I took a NAP on Saturday afternoon, which never happens, and then I went to bed at 8 and slept until 6:30. I wasn’t my usual peppy self the next day, but I was perfectly functional; this morning I have a bit of a sore arm and nothing else to report.
The Long March To Winter
Today is Summer Solstice! The great thing about getting up at four-something in the morning at this time of year is that I can still see the sunrise and by the time I start my yoga practice, it’s fully light outside. The sun sets at ten o’clock, and did you guys know there is a ten o’clock at night? I never see the sunset, is what I’m saying.
I knew a guy who would say on Summer Solstice that every day is getting shorter until we are back to winter again, and sir, that is a true statement but can we just enjoy the moment? I think about it every Summer Solstice. Well, we’ve started the Long March to Winter again! It cracks me up every time.
It’s been warm enough that I open the windows in the morning, to cool the house down and to listen to the birdsong as I practice yoga. There are magpies nesting in the neighbour’s tree, which means that there will be long stretches of musical chirping punctuated by the staccato cadence of magpies screaming. It’s quite unsettling, not unlike listening to classical piano music with sections of hard-core Eminem, complete with fake gunfire and many, many f-bombs. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy both classical piano music and hard-core Eminem, just not at the same time.
Outfit of the Week
Speaking of summer! We have had some really lovely weather and so I’m pulling out all my favourite lighter pieces that I have had for many years but don’t wear out because, let’s face it, summer is fleeting and these pieces do not get to see the light of day very often.
This is a teaching outfit; my teaching days are going to be non-existent this summer, sadly. Today is my last registered class at the community centre, to be continued in the fall, and my other class is on pause for the summer, and I’m unsure when that will continue. So a teaching outfit to celebrate the last teaching day for a few months! Pastels are usually a no-go for me, but I like myself in blue, and I like the darker blue tank underneath. My favourite mala goes perfectly with this outfit, and one of the best things about summer? No socks!
Pandemic Reading
Revival Season. This follows a young girl whose father is a revivalist evangelical preacher; during Revival Season the family travels around the southern US so he can save souls and heal people. The girl witnesses her father commit an act of violence, which has massive repercussions for the family and for her own faith. At the same time, she discovers she has healing powers. I enjoyed this book – didn’t LOVE it, but I enjoyed it – and it is written in present day, which is important. I have since discovered that the idea that women are inferior and subservient to men is still widely accepted in the evangelical community TODAY, which is disturbing, and is a major theme in this book.
Truths I Never Told You. Ugh, this book was NOT for me. It was my own fault, right on the cover the author is compared to two well-known authors whose writing I do not care for. I found the first-person narrative to be so overwrought, the dialogue stilted, the plot super-contrived. One of my pet peeves about writing that supposedly takes place in the past is the application of today’s views on yesterday’s beliefs. It feels very unrealistic to me, as did the journal entries that are used as a literary device to advance the plot – usually I like that device, but these journal entries were SO ridiculously over the top with drama. Anyway, not for me.
American Dirt. I was about a third of the way through this book when my friend Nicole (HI NICOLE) alerted me to some troublesome controversy with regards to the author. It didn’t totally colour my reading experience, but it was certainly in the back of my mind while reading. Honestly, I don’t know what to think: the morality of writing a work of fiction about a culture and experience that is not the author’s is really beyond the scope of my blog. The author discusses her hesitations about writing the book in the afterword, and does mention that her own husband was an undocumented immigrant, hence her interest in Central American migrants.
Anyway, controversy and debate notwithstanding, this book is excellent. While I don’t think anyone who supported the 45th president and his anti-migrant views would read this and change their minds, I think this book humanizes the migrant experience. This incredible book sheds light on the horrors of the migrant experience, shows how desperation leads people to grasp at any chance, no matter how dangerous, to seek a new life. It is breathtaking, and heartbreaking, tragic and hopeful.
Happy Summer Solstice, friends! May you enjoy our ever-shortening days this week! xo
You won’t believe it, but last week we had a heat wave! The term Heat Wave, by the way, is relative to Calgary – I’m sure my friends in the South would just call it a stretch of pleasant summer days – but it has made me so happy. I’m spending every available minute outside; my garden is exploding. The neighbourhood is full of flowering trees in full bloom, and my own lilacs are making their appearance.
I love lilacs; when I was a kid I wished we had them in our yard as I would sniff the neighbours’ shrubs on the way to school every morning in June. Now I have them in my own backyard to sniff as much as I like! Life is good, even if the heat wave didn’t last and now it’s cool and rainy. The garden will be happy with this turn of events as well, and so will my water bill.
I am not a podcast person, but a woman I know was featured on Kelsie Snow’s Sorry I’m Sad, and I listened to it on my walk the other day. I vaguely knew Melanie (HI MELANIE) from the yoga studio, years ago, but I’ve gotten to know her more through her blog, newsletter, and instagram. She is a mother of three who is living with metastatic breast cancer and the knowledge that she won’t see her girls grow up to be women. She is in constant pain as the cancer has spread to her bones and uterus; she has compression fractures in her spine, as well as broken ribs. If you have a chance, give this podcast a listen; she talks about her diagnosis, how life, and being a mom, doesn’t stop when you have cancer, and the strain that chronic/ terminal illness – particularly in a pandemic, my god – puts on a marriage. It was incredibly moving but also inspiring. At the end of the podcast, she mentioned that when it’s winter, she loves taking photos of the winter sun. She thinks winter is her favourite, and then it’s spring, and she thinks spring is her favourite. Melanie said that it seemed like whatever season she is in, it’s her favourite, and the podcast ended with the following message: Embrace the Season You’re In.
I cannot tell you how strongly this resonated with me, on so many different levels. If I was a Tattoo Person, I’d get it tattooed on my arm. If I was an Inspirational Signage Person, I’d put it on a sign in fancy calligraphy in my front hallway. But I am a Blog Person, and so I am going to think about it and refer to it until the end of time.
Embrace the Season! I remember when my oldest was a baby, and I was visiting with a woman who kept telling me about her toddler and how horrible the 18 month stage was. Then, when I saw her next, several months later, she told me about the Terrible Twos. All I could think of at the time was that she would just continue to do that forever: the Terrible Twos would segue into the Even Worse Threes, and so it would go all the way up to the Untenable Teen Years. I could see it happening, and I vowed at that time that I would never think that way, and I haven’t. I try to always enjoy and embrace the stage I’m in and not look back in an overly nostalgic way or forward with extreme longing. The present moment is all we really have, as they say, and so here we are. Wherever we go, here we are.
It’s a strange season we are in, the pandemic. It would be weird and tone-deaf to say that we should embrace the pandemic, given that there have been so many who have died, or lost their livelihoods, or are dealing with long-term effects that no one knows how to deal with. But because of the pandemic, there are things that have changed for me, for the better: priorities have been highlighted, things that I didn’t think I could live without I have thrived without, and I have learned to cherish my relationships in a new way.
I was talking to my kids about the things we used to do when they were little: going to the zoo and science centre, the playgrounds and play groups. I loved doing those things but I am well aware that looking in the rearview mirror puts a gloss on them; it was often exhausting, and required so much logistical planning just to get out the door. Being a mom of teens is, I think, so much fun. The teen years get such a bad rap, and of course there is angst and drama and saucy back-talk. Of course there is! But there are interesting ideas and conversations, there is new learning and knowledge and the ability to see the world through fresh eyes. The Teen Years Season can be fraught, but it’s also breathtakingly beautiful.
Anyway, it’s easy to Embrace the Season when the sun is shining and the birds chirp along with my early morning yoga practice, and the neighbourhood is in bloom and strawberries are plentiful. The challenge is, of course, to keep this attitude when things turn. We’ve made it this far, all of us, and if Melanie can find beauty in her season, her current season defined by pain and cancer treatments, then I think we all can Embrace the Season We Are In.
Outfit of the Week
Last week I enjoyed pulling out my infrequently-used-but-much-loved warm-weather clothing. I mean, I went for my runs in shorts, SHORTS, people. It’s a bizarre look for me, since I also wear long compression socks to manage my varicose veins, which meant that I felt like one of those old men who wear long black socks with everything, in all weather.
This is NOT the Outfit of the Week.
I recently complimented a friend on her outfit, and she mentioned that we are at that age where when we find a piece that is comfortable and flattering, we buy it in an assortment of colours. That is so true; I do this all the time, except my colour variety tends to be black, grey, and maybe white. The exception is skirts and yoga tanks, I tend to veer towards colour in both! I love skirts that have shorts built in underneath; it’s the best of both worlds – the flattering cut of a skirt, and the comfort of knowing that the neighbours aren’t going to see my panties when I’m bending over or if it’s windy or something.
I have this skirt in many colours and patterns, although I tend to pair them with plain black tanks, let’s not get too wild. Old habits die hard, what can I say. I also will say that Old Navy has the best plain black tanks in terms of fit, longevity, and affordability, and I will die on this hill. I also pulled my sandals out of the closet this week! (Next week look for rain boots and pants).
Pandemic Reading
It’s been hit and miss with reading this week, without any You Must Read This recommendations.
The Accidental Tourist. It’s always strange to read a book that was written in the 80s – this was written in 1985 – because there are interesting little details that date the book: descriptions of airline travel, for one, new technology such as the Walkman, and clothing. Also, one of the characters has a body perm gone wrong and I felt seen. The problem is there are also details that date the book in a bad way; talking about “foreign-looking people” and other kind of distasteful descriptions. For me, this book was irritating and strangely depressing, like watching a movie from the 80s that didn’t age well. A few years ago I rewatched The Breakfast Club and was struck by all the fat-shaming and slut-shaming and general weirdness. Some things are best left in the past, I guess. I did not enjoy this book.
Little Pieces of Me. Let’s imagine you were really close to your late father, and then, two years after he died you found out that genetically, he wasn’t actually your father and your mother has been keeping a big secret after forty-three years. That’s the premise of this book and honestly, I did not like it. I found the main character so unlikeable and so unsympathetic. I think that if I found out my DNA was different than I thought it was, I don’t believe it would change the person that I am, and yet the main character was constantly saying she didn’t know who she really was and she wasn’t the person she thought she was, blah blah blah for another two hundred pages. I mean, it’s pretty theoretical on my end, as I am an actual female version of my dad, but I can’t imagine thinking I was a different person just because my dad wasn’t my biological dad. This book is very highly rated, but for me, it fell flat.
That Summer. I thought this was going to be a beach read, but it sure wasn’t. A book about sexual assault, #MeToo and the consequences for everyone involved. It’s a great message but I didn’t love the execution – for me the plot line was a little weak and cliched , and the characters very one dimensional. Still, as I say, a great message written with several points of view.
Have a beautiful week, friends! Embrace the season! For me, I’m going to embrace my rain boots and sweaters. xo
