You won’t believe it, but last week we had a heat wave! The term Heat Wave, by the way, is relative to Calgary – I’m sure my friends in the South would just call it a stretch of pleasant summer days – but it has made me so happy. I’m spending every available minute outside; my garden is exploding. The neighbourhood is full of flowering trees in full bloom, and my own lilacs are making their appearance.
I love lilacs; when I was a kid I wished we had them in our yard as I would sniff the neighbours’ shrubs on the way to school every morning in June. Now I have them in my own backyard to sniff as much as I like! Life is good, even if the heat wave didn’t last and now it’s cool and rainy. The garden will be happy with this turn of events as well, and so will my water bill.
I am not a podcast person, but a woman I know was featured on Kelsie Snow’s Sorry I’m Sad, and I listened to it on my walk the other day. I vaguely knew Melanie (HI MELANIE) from the yoga studio, years ago, but I’ve gotten to know her more through her blog, newsletter, and instagram. She is a mother of three who is living with metastatic breast cancer and the knowledge that she won’t see her girls grow up to be women. She is in constant pain as the cancer has spread to her bones and uterus; she has compression fractures in her spine, as well as broken ribs. If you have a chance, give this podcast a listen; she talks about her diagnosis, how life, and being a mom, doesn’t stop when you have cancer, and the strain that chronic/ terminal illness – particularly in a pandemic, my god – puts on a marriage. It was incredibly moving but also inspiring. At the end of the podcast, she mentioned that when it’s winter, she loves taking photos of the winter sun. She thinks winter is her favourite, and then it’s spring, and she thinks spring is her favourite. Melanie said that it seemed like whatever season she is in, it’s her favourite, and the podcast ended with the following message: Embrace the Season You’re In.
I cannot tell you how strongly this resonated with me, on so many different levels. If I was a Tattoo Person, I’d get it tattooed on my arm. If I was an Inspirational Signage Person, I’d put it on a sign in fancy calligraphy in my front hallway. But I am a Blog Person, and so I am going to think about it and refer to it until the end of time.
Embrace the Season! I remember when my oldest was a baby, and I was visiting with a woman who kept telling me about her toddler and how horrible the 18 month stage was. Then, when I saw her next, several months later, she told me about the Terrible Twos. All I could think of at the time was that she would just continue to do that forever: the Terrible Twos would segue into the Even Worse Threes, and so it would go all the way up to the Untenable Teen Years. I could see it happening, and I vowed at that time that I would never think that way, and I haven’t. I try to always enjoy and embrace the stage I’m in and not look back in an overly nostalgic way or forward with extreme longing. The present moment is all we really have, as they say, and so here we are. Wherever we go, here we are.
It’s a strange season we are in, the pandemic. It would be weird and tone-deaf to say that we should embrace the pandemic, given that there have been so many who have died, or lost their livelihoods, or are dealing with long-term effects that no one knows how to deal with. But because of the pandemic, there are things that have changed for me, for the better: priorities have been highlighted, things that I didn’t think I could live without I have thrived without, and I have learned to cherish my relationships in a new way.
I was talking to my kids about the things we used to do when they were little: going to the zoo and science centre, the playgrounds and play groups. I loved doing those things but I am well aware that looking in the rearview mirror puts a gloss on them; it was often exhausting, and required so much logistical planning just to get out the door. Being a mom of teens is, I think, so much fun. The teen years get such a bad rap, and of course there is angst and drama and saucy back-talk. Of course there is! But there are interesting ideas and conversations, there is new learning and knowledge and the ability to see the world through fresh eyes. The Teen Years Season can be fraught, but it’s also breathtakingly beautiful.
Anyway, it’s easy to Embrace the Season when the sun is shining and the birds chirp along with my early morning yoga practice, and the neighbourhood is in bloom and strawberries are plentiful. The challenge is, of course, to keep this attitude when things turn. We’ve made it this far, all of us, and if Melanie can find beauty in her season, her current season defined by pain and cancer treatments, then I think we all can Embrace the Season We Are In.
Outfit of the Week
Last week I enjoyed pulling out my infrequently-used-but-much-loved warm-weather clothing. I mean, I went for my runs in shorts, SHORTS, people. It’s a bizarre look for me, since I also wear long compression socks to manage my varicose veins, which meant that I felt like one of those old men who wear long black socks with everything, in all weather.
This is NOT the Outfit of the Week.
I recently complimented a friend on her outfit, and she mentioned that we are at that age where when we find a piece that is comfortable and flattering, we buy it in an assortment of colours. That is so true; I do this all the time, except my colour variety tends to be black, grey, and maybe white. The exception is skirts and yoga tanks, I tend to veer towards colour in both! I love skirts that have shorts built in underneath; it’s the best of both worlds – the flattering cut of a skirt, and the comfort of knowing that the neighbours aren’t going to see my panties when I’m bending over or if it’s windy or something.
I have this skirt in many colours and patterns, although I tend to pair them with plain black tanks, let’s not get too wild. Old habits die hard, what can I say. I also will say that Old Navy has the best plain black tanks in terms of fit, longevity, and affordability, and I will die on this hill. I also pulled my sandals out of the closet this week! (Next week look for rain boots and pants).
Pandemic Reading
It’s been hit and miss with reading this week, without any You Must Read This recommendations.
The Accidental Tourist. It’s always strange to read a book that was written in the 80s – this was written in 1985 – because there are interesting little details that date the book: descriptions of airline travel, for one, new technology such as the Walkman, and clothing. Also, one of the characters has a body perm gone wrong and I felt seen. The problem is there are also details that date the book in a bad way; talking about “foreign-looking people” and other kind of distasteful descriptions. For me, this book was irritating and strangely depressing, like watching a movie from the 80s that didn’t age well. A few years ago I rewatched The Breakfast Club and was struck by all the fat-shaming and slut-shaming and general weirdness. Some things are best left in the past, I guess. I did not enjoy this book.
Little Pieces of Me. Let’s imagine you were really close to your late father, and then, two years after he died you found out that genetically, he wasn’t actually your father and your mother has been keeping a big secret after forty-three years. That’s the premise of this book and honestly, I did not like it. I found the main character so unlikeable and so unsympathetic. I think that if I found out my DNA was different than I thought it was, I don’t believe it would change the person that I am, and yet the main character was constantly saying she didn’t know who she really was and she wasn’t the person she thought she was, blah blah blah for another two hundred pages. I mean, it’s pretty theoretical on my end, as I am an actual female version of my dad, but I can’t imagine thinking I was a different person just because my dad wasn’t my biological dad. This book is very highly rated, but for me, it fell flat.
That Summer. I thought this was going to be a beach read, but it sure wasn’t. A book about sexual assault, #MeToo and the consequences for everyone involved. It’s a great message but I didn’t love the execution – for me the plot line was a little weak and cliched , and the characters very one dimensional. Still, as I say, a great message written with several points of view.
Have a beautiful week, friends! Embrace the season! For me, I’m going to embrace my rain boots and sweaters. xo
I’m glad you got some warm weather.
Your story about the mom warning you of horrors to come reminded me of when I was pregnant with Noah and all my mother-in-law wanted to talk about was the horrible pain of childbirth. (It was notable because she’s usually a pretty optimistic person.)
Because my kids are five years apart and very different temperamentally, I think I go through every parenting season twice. North’s teen years, for instance, have been very different from Noah’s.
I never thought of that but of course, that makes sense. Mine are so close everything just gets clustered!
I was very disappointed by the Jennifer Weiner book.
Me too (see what I did there) – I felt it could have been so much more but it wasn’t.
My heart breaks hearing about this woman’s cancer diagnosis. Her message about enjoying the season you are in is moving.
You are a trend setter with your black socks and shorts. 😉 The last few years I have really struggled to find shorts that I like. But I did find a skirt by Royal Robbins with built in shorts that is my fav. I sit poised to add more to my wardrobe, if my fav dept store has a similar item go on sale this summer. Love the pink skirt.
I heard about various dreaded stages as a parent. I never found any age to be awful. Everyone has their days but I enjoyed my babies/tots/kids so much. And I could not agree with you more about teens. They can be tough to deal with but oh how I love witnessing their personalities emerge. Their senses of humor. Their approach to all things. It has been a wild ride but always entertaining and interesting.
I hate when a book disappoints. I am currently reading ‘Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.’ Loving it.
Ernie, it’s so sad, and yet she finds joy still in everyday things. She says “I’m still here” which is so moving.
I agree about all the parenting stages too – I enjoyed my kids throughout the years, and as Allison said, every stage is the best stage.
I loved that book! Currently reading the Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle, I am sure it was you who mentioned it!
It was me who mentioned The Seven Deaths. I’ll be interested to hear what you think. I didn’t dislike it. It was just so very different than anything I’ve ever read. I sometimes got confused between the characters. I read it for my book club, but we haven’t met yet to discuss it. I am really enjoying the Maybe You Should Talk to Someone book. Love the perspective of a therapist going through therapy, maybe mostly because I DO talk to someone myself. 😉
Such a good life motto, and surprisingly difficult to execute for some (me). But trying and failing and trying again is what life is all about yes?
Love your red skirt and your flowers! I covet your lilacs! They have the most beautiful scent of any flower, I think!
Oh, I agree! I love them too.
It’s funny, the anecdote about ages I remember most clearly is a friend who is most definitely not a pollyanna saying that every age once she had kids was the best age, and I felt the same. I try really hard to embrace every season, even if embracing it means watching it through a window while I read a book.
Our lilac bush is struggling this year. My parents’ is the most exuberant, show-offy lilac bush ever, and the flowers smell amazing, so much so that when they brought them inside they had to bring them back out because the whole house was overly lilac perfumed. Sitting in their back yard is idyllic.
I have enjoyed a few Anne Tyler books – I think I only saw the movie of that one. Jennifer Weiner always makes me feel like I almost enjoy her books except they’re not quite the kind of book I enjoy – I loved the movie In Her Shoes based on her book, though. I did not see a movie of Little Pieces of Me, but I loved the movie Pieces of April. This is a nonsensical non sequitur, I may be suffering from heat stroke.
You look like a really cute soccer player!
I didn’t realize ANY of those books were movies! I have had other people tell me they love Anne Tyler so perhaps I’ll give something else a try. I feel the same exact thing about Jennifer Weiner!
I love that anecdote. Every age is the best age. I feel that way too. I always thought “I LOVE this stage” whenever we were in a stage.
I I read The Accidental Tourist when it first came out. I don’t remember much about the deets, but I liked it. I love lilacs, too. However they don’t do well in this region. We tried, but they all died after a year or two.
As for saying embrace the pandemic, I feel like I’m embracing the lessons learned during the pandemic. I am a better person for the experiences, but the pandemic itself still sucks. There’s probably a more elegant way to say this, but you get the idea.
Yes, that’s exactly how I feel too! The pandemic sucks, but we have gained from the experiences.
Your outfit of the week is adorable!
Living in the season is admirable and, sometimes difficult to achieve. I do remember having frustrating times at different phases with Man-Child – but, for the most part – I’ve enjoyed them all and am looking forward to see what comes next.
All stages have ups and downs for sure! Remember last year, when my boys grew moustaches? 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear about Melanie’s diagnosis, pain and the fact that she won’t be able to enjoy all the ages of her children. God bless her for sharing her story for the rest of us. I DO love her insight though; we should find joy in every season of our lives.
I love skorts. They’ve become a staple in my summer (fall, winter & spring) wardrobe. It’s always hot here and shorts just don’t always look that great on me; something I’m learning the past few years as my parts are aging. I found a really cute skort at Costco this past week and I’m gonna go back for more after washing/wearing this one. $9.99!
I think lilacs are so pretty, but I don’t know that I’ve ever seen one in person. They remind me of hydrangeas though, which we have at our GA house and I adore them.
Enjoy your warm weather and only you could make knee high/compression socks look cool!
$9.99, that is a steal! Love a good deal, and I love skorts! I guess lilacs must be suited to cooler climates – I mean, if they don’t grow in your part of the world, they must not be suited to heat. I love hydrangeas, but they do not grow here.
I too am grateful Melanie shared her story.