It has been quite the week! We just got back yesterday from a whirlwind visit to my mother-in-law; we flew in on Friday morning and were home yesterday before noon. I am a wee bit exhausted by this; I am used to having weekends being more restorative, and to be honest, I am a bit scrambled. I’m glad we went, of course, my mother-in-law isn’t getting any younger, and this trip was in lieu of our usual Thanksgiving visit. Flights on Thanksgiving weekend were more expensive than, say, flying to Europe or Hawaii would be, and so we went this weekend instead. Not that we are flying to Europe or Hawaii, but the thought of paying upwards of $700 per person for a flight that is less than one hour in duration feels very wrong.
I was in need of a restorative weekend as it had been a busy week, what with the preparation for my son going camping and then all the necessary preparation for this, albeit brief, trip. We are still flying carryon only, which is not a big deal for only two nights away, but was a little bit tricky as the plane we were on was a tiny prop plane, and so a larger carryon item wasn’t going to fit very well. I didn’t want to be THAT person, jamming an oversized carryon into the overhead bin, only to have it taken away and checked. It took some finagling, but I managed to squeeze everything I needed into the tiniest carryon we had, and the guys ended up taking their changes of clothes in their gym bags. I had the foresight to leave all necessary toiletries, other than my makeup and night cream, at our vacation house, so it wasn’t too bad.
I’m sure I could travel with fewer products, but which of these can I do without? Well, no matter, they fit in the bag.
My son got back from his camping trip on Thursday, and he had a great time. You will all be happy to know that the water pump was shut down for the winter and so they had to haul fresh water; no one got any kind of explosive diarrhea, which I think is an accomplishment. My son loves camping and had the best time; one of his teachers took a group of kids on a midnight walk to a bear breeding ground. No bears were seen, because what bear would be within five kilometres of ninety teenagers? Funnily enough, on the weekend my older son spotted this guy right off of our deck.
Speaking of wildlife, we have had a few strange scenarios with the woodland creatures around our house. I was putting my hair up in my room and I idly looked out at the tree in our front yard. There were two squirrels, one chasing the other, and just as my brain formed the thought oh, cute, one squirrel mounted the other and started just going to town. Squirrel porn, right in my front yard. I averted my eyes but I could still see frantic, fuzzy activity in my peripheral vision. Then the squirrel popped off, and seconds later, remounted. Wow, that was a quick recovery. This happened TWICE MORE and honestly, god bless. I was confused, though, because I didn’t realize this was Squirrel Mating Season. Is it Squirrel Mating Season? Who can say. I’m not up on my squirrel reproductive habit research.
Shortly after this amorous display, I was having coffee in the kitchen and I saw a squirrel curled up in the backyard. This is the time of year that they are digging and gathering grass for their winter homes, and so I figured that was what this squirrel was doing. As I sipped my coffee, staring out the window, I realized that the squirrel hadn’t moved for the duration of my Out The Window Staring. Uh oh, I thought. I have never seen a stationary squirrel that hadn’t been run over by a car or something, so naturally, I feared the worst. I opened the back door and clapped my hands loudly, thinking that if that didn’t get the squirrel moving, then we had a problem.
It didn’t move.
For the first time since Barkley’s passing, I was relieved my fuzzy friend wasn’t here to discover death firsthand. Imagine prying that out of his mouth.
My younger son was having breakfast and I informed him that he would have to be a squirrel undertaker, as it were. That kid. He’s game for anything. He grabbed a garbage bag and the garage key to get a shovel, but came back immediately asking for help from my other son, who was getting ready for work. It turns out that the squirrel was not intact, and I’m not talking about that weird scene with Charles in The Crown where he refers to Camilla as such. I’m saying that it was apparent that the mythical neighbourhood bobcat, who I’m always hearing about on our neighbourhood Facebook page, was in our backyard, and the squirrel was not, as I thought, just curled up under its tail. It didn’t exist other than its tail and a small amount of rear end. I texted my neighbours with cats to let them know, to which one of them replied that that explained the half-eaten rabbit found in their front yard.
What is HAPPENING in my neighbourhood? Is it not enough that I cross paths with coyotes on a weekly basis when I’m out running? Well, between squirrel mating and squirrel dismemberment, I guess it’s the circle of life.
Another little life came to an end, and it was my fault, I’m afraid. Before I get to that, I must explain to those who don’t know about Superstore, the grocery store that receives most of my patronage and a lot of my time. One of the ways that Superstore keeps its prices low is by not having grocery baggers; shoppers bag their own groceries. Bags are available for purchase, but I have some plastic bins I use for the purpose, as well as a number of cloth bags. Generally I leave these bins in the garage before popping them in my car on grocery day, and here is where my story begins. I had just finished unloading my groceries on the conveyor belt and I zipped over to the other side of the cashier, to pack them up. I grabbed my bins and a little spider scrambled out of one of them, right onto the conveyor belt, probably surprised it wasn’t in my garage anymore. Listen: I live in Canada, not Australia, and any spiders around here are completely harmless; in fact, they are beneficial as they eat all manner of irritating insects. I did think, though, that as not everyone shares my view I should move the spider somehow, but as I was puzzling as to the how, it disappeared before my very eyes. Okay then. I started packing up my groceries at the same time the cashier started shrieking. She grabbed several tissues and made panicked grabs at the conveyor belt, telling me that THERE IS A SPIDER! WHERE DID IT COME FROM! And although I do think in general honesty is the best policy, in the face of this hysteria, because hysteria it was, I was not going to be truthful in this situation. I awkwardly said “Oh,” while the cashier smashed her tissues on the conveyor belt, and then showed me the successful result of her spider hunt. All this – from the spider’s appearance to its demise – took place in under sixty seconds, but honestly it felt a lot longer. The cashier let out a deep breath and said “Whew, that was a close one,” as if we were in mortal danger and moments away from shuffling off this mortal coil.
On the topic of mortal danger, I had a dentist appointment this week. Mortal danger may be an overstatement, but the dentist, even for a run-of-the-mill appointment, is never that pleasant. Unlike many people, I don’t get anxiety about the dentist, nor do I find it particularly painful. I just dread the dentist because the appointments take so LONG. Here’s the thing: I can often expect a long wait at the doctor’s office, and so I always take a book with me. That way, if I’m waiting 45 minutes, it doesn’t feel like a waste of time because I’m reading. When I’m at the dentist, the appointment is – and this is just for cleaning and a checkup, so nothing invasive – at least ninety minutes. Ninety minutes of lying on my back with my mouth open, and let me tell you, in the best of scenarios – and you know what I’m saying here – I don’t want to be lying on my back for ninety minutes. With my mouth open. I think you know what I mean, let’s circle back to Mating Season.
It just feels like such a waste of time, and I know, I know, it isn’t. Dental health is very important, etcetera, etcetera, but the appointments are JUST SO LONG. And there is nothing for it but to lie there, turn your head when asked, and use that gross suction thing to suck up excess saliva “whenever you need to.” I really like my hygienist, she is an absolute dream of a hygienist, but I find myself having weird open mouthed conversations between suctioning and scraping, and that doesn’t make my appointment any shorter, either. Fun fact: telling someone that you are a yoga teacher leads to extensive conversations about what can be done about tight hamstrings, sore knees, and anxiety. Our conversation about knee replacement surgery and also what I did this summer probably added a good fifteen minutes to my appointment, god bless whoever had the slot after mine. But, and this is a fault of mine I am sure, I have no idea how to stop conversations that have gone on too long. When having an earnest conversation about someone’s bone health, I’m not sure how to say can we just get on with the appointment. Well. It’s fine. It will be another six months before I have to worry about this, I guess.
Weekly Reading
The Startup Wife. You know what is enraging? Women who do all the work while men get all the credit. This book is exactly about that. It was a sharp, satirical, and very fast-moving story about a woman who starts an app with her husband and their friend. She does all the work, all the coding…but her charismatic husband gets all the adulation. Things start to get weird, because it’s an app about rituals and spirituality. An interesting, albeit enraging, read.
The Dead Moms Club. This author is the cohost of a podcast I enjoy called Forever 35, and because I enjoy her so much so I picked up this book. What a wonderful book about grieving and loss – it is warm and funny, but very thoughtful and informative (how to help when someone is grieving, for example). A beautiful book and I look forward to more by this author.
It doesn’t look like it will be a very relaxing week around here, but I am hoping to make it to Friday when I can get a bit caught up on sleep. I hope you all have a wonderful week! xo
I can see why you visited early. That is a lot for a one-hour flight. Hope you get to catch your breath this week.
We have a spider I allow to live in the kitchen, just behind the sink because we also have fruit flies and I have witnessed it catch and eat them on several occasions.
What a good spider!! They are such interesting little creatures.
Yes, we were REALLY annoyed at how much it cost to have my son fly home for Thanksgiving. Definitely wouldn’t want to pay for the whole family to fly at that price. Glad your son survived his camping trip! And… i have the exact same complaints about the dentist. If only I could just read while they’re cleaning my teeth! And the conversations… my hygienist is VERY chatty. i’m never sure how much I’m supposed to contribute to the conversation, considering she can’t do her job while I’m talking. I actually have an appointment next week, SIGH.
I actually thought “I could listen to a podcast” but that felt weird and rude. Ah well, it’s only twice a year.
90 minutes worth of teeth cleaning seems excessive to me. My hygienist and I chat a bit, but I’m still almost always totally finished within 45 minutes of arriving at the dentist’s office.
Thanks Eli! It feels so long to me too!
Oh, you made me laugh and laugh with your nature stories! Thank you for that!!
Thanks Michelle!!
I’m so glad your kid came back happy and healthy from his camping trip. Your squirrel sex paragraph had me chortling 🤣🤣. While the spider story was sad, your dialogue with the cashier was hilarious. I’ll be thinking about both for a while. Can’t wait for your book!
You’re so sweet! He had such a great time camping!
There were so many delightful parts to this post. I was going to list them, but I have to leave for work in a few minutes so instead of telling your own post back to you, I am going to tell you that I had a dream last night in which you were concerned that another woman’s husband was hitting on you, but in such weird ways you really weren’t sure WHAT to think—like, is he hitting on you, or is he struggling with early-onset dementia? So you were telling me all the examples, and I was equally baffled, and I SO WISH I could remember ANY of the examples. But all I remember is saying to you, “Well, that is some high-quality dishing, Nicole. Those are some extremely interesting things to chew on while I’m at work or lying awake.” TO CHEW ON. I don’t think I ever say “to chew on” (or, for that matter, “dishing”).
OMG I love this so much. I am haunting your dreams!!! With an early-onset dementia flirtation!
“Wow, that was a quick recovery.”
DEAD! You crack me up 🙂
*takes bow* thanks Colleen!
We have an extraordinary amount of chipmunks around the neighborhood, and let me tell you that our dog is exhausted. So far she’s reduced the population by one.
I’m in the process of getting current with medical appointments after a very long hiatus. I don’t “mind” the dentist but yes what you said. It’s a lot of waiting with nothing but a toothbrush afterwards to show for it. On the plus side one of the benefits of being an accountant is that when people ask what I do and I tell them they tend to change the subject very fast;-)
Oh, Barkley caught a squirrel once too! It was…alarming for me, probably the best day ever for him.
Why are your cleanings so long? Mine is scheduled for 60 minutes and usually I can get out of there in 50 minutes or so. I’m a clock watcher at the dentist. Is this a Canadian/US difference? I have dental *issues* and tell myself I can survive anything for an hour, but if it were 90 minutes, I might not be able to convince myself.
Maybe I would have a similar reaction to a spider in a previously spider-free place? It’s not that they’re scary or dangerous where I live, either, but they are kind of scary looking? Of course, they’re good guys! But the unexpectedness of it all? Maybe I would overreact.
The cleaning itself is at least 60 minutes, by the time they measure my gums to make sure they aren’t receding, use some kind of hydro-scaling thingy, then use the METAL scraper thingy that I loathe, then polish and floss. The rest of the time is taken up by x-rays and the dentist himself. My appointment was at 2 and I left the office at 3:50! Some of that time was endless chitchat.
After thinking about it for a while, I wondered if the cashier thought the spider came out of my produce. Like, a ride-along from Mexico or something?
I was just thinking of you yesterday when my dentist’s office called to tell I had missed my 8 a.m. appointment….it was 8:45… I marked it as 9 on my calendar. I know I was right because I am overly organized, in fact. (Yes, there is such a thing.) They rescheduled me for today, and I intend to inform them that it was their mistake. I believe you covered this in an older post?
So I’ll be thinking of you for the next 90 minutes when I sit in my dentist’s chair… SIGH.
I had no intention of complaining about my dentist on your blog, but here I am…
Yes that was me, but with the doctor! That was sooooo frustrating. I was like “I would never book it at 1:00, I have class from 12-1” and the receptionist was like “No, it’s at 1:00, you must have written it down wrong.” NO I DIDN’T I SWEAR!!!
We are on the same dental schedule!
I love spicy Nicole. 🙂 The squirrel mating just about did me in. We are also having a lot of… squirrel activity around here. They seem extremely riled up by the shift to the fall. I like fall too, I do. But not enough to chase anyone up and down a tree endlessly of an afternoon, you know?
Like NGS, I am curious about your 90-minute appointments. Maybe in the US they just half-ass it??? My appointments take 45 minutes TOPS. And I am not a great flosser, Nicole!
I envy you your built-in carcass removal team. No one in my family has the stomach for any sort of creature handling and I have to do ALL bug servicing myself, not to mention I have had to shovel a couple of squirrel corpses out of the yard BY MYSELF.
They take sooooooo long! At least 60 minutes for cleaning – and I FLOSS EVERY DAYYYYY – and then the rest of the time is x-rays and dentist talk. Maybe I should cut down on the coffee? (never)
The carcass removal team is GREAT. They are so nonchalant, while I cry.
My dentist appointments are also very short. Like 30 minutes, tops, for a cleaning!
I laughed out loud when you said no one having explosive diarrhea was an accomplishment. Yes, indeed – that is an accomplishment.
My parents regularly see black bears on there property and there have been coyote sightings in the woods behind our house. I don’t love that thought. I am NOT a fan of spiders. It’s a bit ridiculous, because I studied entomology in my graduate degree – there was a lot of irony in my decision. To be fair, though, I once applied for a monetary award from The Entomological Society of Canada (AND WON!!) and my essay detailed how much I did NOT like insects and yet I pitched it in such a way that they…gave me the award. I like to think it was due to the wittiness of my essay, not my GPA. I still scream when a bug crawls by me…sigh. I would not make it long in the wilderness alone, I can tell you.
I am wondering if I should cut down on the coffee? Maybe that would shorten my cleanings. But it would also shorten the lives of others around me, so I guess I’ll suffer through.
I have so much to say! I was supposed to have a dentist appt this week but I cancelled it. I had decided to change practices because the hygienist TALKS SO MUCH. Last time I saw her, I had a dr appt right after the dentist appt and she assured me I would make it but we cut it very close because she TALKS SO MUCH. She is a nice person, but I just don’t want to make chit chat during the appt. I want to get it over with and get on with my day. I had a different hygienist that I LOVED but she changed practices and I got assigned to this person and I just can’t sit through another appt with her!
You and my husband are kindred spirits when it comes to spiders. In our last house, there was apparently a spider that lived in a certain area of our bedroom that Phil affectionately called “steve the spider.” I asked that he not tell me where the spider was because I am irrationally afraid of them. So he is the person who has a spider climb on a piece of paper and brings it outside. I am more prone to um… not doing that. I’ve managed my hysteria, though.
I’m adding both of those books to my TBR list (well the dead mom was already on my list after you mentioned it in a comment). Have you read any Nora McInerny? I really like her books, too. I think “It’s Ok to Laugh” is her best but I haven’t read her newest release. She is very witty and very real about grief. And she’s a Minnesotan so that makes me like her a little more. She lost her husband when their son was young – I think under 4 – on the tails of having a miscarriage and losing her dad, so she’s been through a lot.
I’m glad your son is back safe from camping!!
I just put that book on my list, you have never steered me wrong yet, Lisa!!
Oh man, do I feel you on the chitchat. And I am generally a chitchatty person. But come ONNNNNN let’s just end this endless appointment already!
That cracks me up so much, Steve the spider. I haven’t yet named any spiders but I cannot rule this out.
Your dental cleanings are really long! I swear mine are 30 minutes or less if I don’t need x-rays. My least favorite part of dental cleanings are the x-rays. I have a small mouth and getting x-rays hurts so much!
Squirrel sex! NATURE IS HEALING.
So glad your son is home safe from camping and that he loved it so much!
The x-rays are awful and I have a huge mouth! So I can only imagine the pain for you. Ugh!!
We must all be on the same cycle of dentist visits, as I see one tomorrow. This one is a specialist my regular dentist wants me to see about an “issue” (I doubt it’s actually an “issue” but she’s the medical professional, so we shall see) and I thought of you as this office has proceeded to text me no less than THREE times in the past SIX days…despite my confirming I would be there. If my regular dentist did this they would no longer be my dentist…and I LOVE her.
For dentist (and all doctor) appointments, I make sure that I am the first appointment of the day. Generally, this keeps me from sitting around in a waiting room for long. And I echo the other American commenters – a routine cleaning usually takes about 45 minutes give or take; are we getting screwed over? Or should we just be grateful that it only takes about 45 minutes? I’m going with grateful; because God knows I don’t want to be in that chair for longer than that!
OMG yes, Gigi, I didn’t mention all the texts and emails and “confirm here” and then a few days later, another confirmation, and then “we will see you soon for your appointment!” Just…one reminder is fine. Sheesh.
The problem is with the dentist is they get me in right away, but the appointment itself takes forever. I am jealous of all these people who have short appointments!
This just made me laugh so much. Thanks Nicole, I needed laugh out loud ! Xx
Thanks so much Penny!
So many wonderful tidbits here! The mating squirrels – your comments were hilarious. The price of flights within Canada drive me crazy, especially how they jack them up for holidays!! We used to have a house in Florida and flew there regularly for under $100 each. Ontario to Calgary – at least triple that! The spider – haha; I’m not a fan of spiders at all but I will allow daddy long legs to exist at our cottage (except when they get too close to the bed) as I know they are beneficial.
I know, it’s so insane, Pat! I mean, it’s a ONE HOUR FLIGHT. How can it cost less to go to someplace exotic?
This was just so funny. The squirrel sex. ‘God bless.’ The dismembered fellow. I appreciate your dishonesty about where the spider came from with the cashier. I was cackling so much that Coach asked me what was so funny.
So glad the camping trip was so enjoyable. Espeically since he missed his sailing trip.
That book reminds me of the movie when the wife was the writer, but her husband got credit for writing the book. It was such a good, unsettling movie.
I know what movie you’re talking about – I think it was called The Wife. I didn’t see the movie but I read the book it was based on. *screams*
LOL, Nicole! Your story about the squirrels killed me! Thanks for the laugh! I’ll always think of you when I see squirrels now and how they compare to your squirrel superdud’s recovery speed! LOL!!
Right? I mean. That is a fast recovery!!!
OMG. Squirrel sex. Spiders. Bears. It’s like Wild America over here. You crack me up – thank you, so much, for the much-needed levity in my life.
HOWEVER, your dental appointments are waaaay too long. I’m like NGS – 50 minutes, tops. Even if they use that hydroscaling thing.
Glad your son returned unscathed, I hear you on airline tickets right now ($$$$$$$), and wow, interesting books too. Thanks for the glimpse into your lovely life. <3
Maybe I should drink less coffee? I don’t know! The hydroscaling alone takes a while!
Haha, Nicole, I love your sense of humor. I agree though, 90 min on the dentist chair just sounds like WAY TOO MUCH. I don’t mind the dentist, but I also don’t want to spend any more time there than necessary. Maybe next time, you can just opt to not engage in any chitchat? 😉
I mean, that’s a part of it for sure. Maybe I should be less chatty!