Goodbye, Barkley

As many of you know, on Thursday we said goodbye to Barkley. Thank you to all of you who have already reached out to me with kind words and love; I read every single word and I appreciate each and every one of you.

Barkley died exactly one month after his fourteenth birthday, and because of his age I was prepared for him to go. What I was not prepared for was the rapidity at which things progressed. Thursday morning at 6:30 am I woke him up as usual and fed him breakfast; I noticed that he went up and down the stairs to go outside with relative ease. He ate with gusto, as he always did. Around 8:00 I was having a cup of coffee in the kitchen when I heard a thump. He had collapsed. By 10:30 he was gone and I will tell you that that was the longest two and a half hours of my life.

That was a terrible morning and I don’t want to go through anything like that ever again, not even in my mind to relive on the blog. Instead, I am going to show you photos of Barkley through the years. He brought so much joy to our lives, and there is and always will be a huge fuzzy hole in our hearts.

We love you, Barkley. I hope you’re eating unlimited treats and chasing squirrels.

Comments

  1. Oh, I am so sorry! Even when you think it’s close to time and you’re ready, it’s such a hard, hard thing to go through. Been there, hated that. He was such a cutie and so loved.

  2. Nicole, I am so sorry. Yes he’s up in Doggie Heaven eating all the treats and chasing all the squirrels <3

  3. So sorry to hear, Nicole. Take good care.

  4. I’m so sorry. Your sweet, beautiful boy.

  5. I’m sorry for your loss, Nicole.
    Barkley was clearly SO loved and cherished by your whole household and the loss is so great as you mourn the passing of a dear member of your family. There is no expiration date on grief and I know you will love and miss him forever. Thanks for sharing all the wonderful pictures. He looks so happy, as do you, in every one.

  6. Oh Nicole. My heart aches for you and your family. Barkley was an integral part of your lives and I can only imagine how hard this must be for you all. Sending love.

  7. I’m sorry, Nicole. Losing a beloved pet is so hard…

  8. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry for your loss, Nicole. We are on the same path and it’s just devastating. Hugs!

  9. Pat Birnie says

    I’m so sorry for you and your family Nicole. That’s the downside of having a dog isn’t it? You will have to go through the pain of saying goodbye. Your house must feel so empty. Hugs to all of you xo

  10. Oh, my heart. Nicole, I’m so very sorry. Even though you knew this day would come, it cannot be easy. I love these photos of him. He was such a cutie. Fuzzy hole in your hearts indeed. Thinking of all of you.

  11. Oh, Nicole ♥️ I am so, so sorry. The love that Barkley brought is so clear in every photo… and how loved he was! Seeing Barkley as a puppy with your little boys broke me. I always thought Barkley looked like my Scout’s big brother. Pets always make me think of this by Zadie Smith: “…sometimes joy multiplies itself dangerously. Children are the infamous example. Isn’t it bad enough that the beloved, with whom you have experienced genuine joy, will eventually be lost to you? Why add to this nightmare the child, whose loss, if it ever happened, would mean nothing less than your total annihilation? It should be noted that an equally dangerous joy, for many people, is the dog or the cat, relationships with animals being in some sense intensified by
    guaranteed finitude. You hope to leave this world before your child. You are quite certain your dog will leave before you do. Joy is such a human madness.” http://theessayexperiencefall2013.qwriting.qc.cuny.edu/files/2013/09/Joy-by-Zadie-Smith.pdf

  12. I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s good to dwell not on those last hours but on all the many joyful moments of Barkley’s whole long, lucky life. What a sweetie—a true family dog. I love those pictures! Be kind to yourself in your grief.

  13. What a lovely retrospective of photos. It’s so beautiful to see puppy Barkley all the way up to his old man times. He was lucky to have you and your family and I hope that those last two hours don’t overwhelm the many happy memories you shared. I’m so sorry for your grief and will definitely give my own dog some extra cuddles tonight.

  14. Oh Nicole. Those photos are so precious. I love seeing what a joyful life he had, and how much joy he brought you and your family. And baby Barkley! So adorable! I know losing a beloved friend is so hard, and hard in new and unexpected ways as time passes, and I am holding you all in my heart.

  15. I am so sorry for your loss, Nicole. Losing a family member is wretched. I know how difficult those first few days and weeks without your pup are, and I promise things do get better. Now that I’m 4 years removed from losing my beloved pup Dutch, I think less and less of him as a sick older dog and more of all of the fun and laughter he gave me. I love seeing all of these photos (especially of Barkley as a puppy – OMG!!) and I hope you know that you gave him such a wonderful life. <3

  16. My friend, I am so sorry. Typing this with tears in my eyes. He was the sweetest and had the best life with your family. Big hugs to all of you. XOXO

  17. I’m so, so sorry for the loss of your handsome, sweet, very good boy.

  18. I loved all the photos of Barkley. He had a very good life with lots of love as can be seen in them. Thinking of you!

  19. NOOOO! I’m so, so sorry Nicole! I have tears in my eyes- things like this make me so sad. It’s such a hard fact of life that we have to outlive our beloved pets. I love all the photos of Barkley! Sending love to you and your family- I know how sad you all must be.

  20. Erin Etheridge says

    I am so so sorry 😢

  21. Oh Nicole, I had no idea. I am so sorry. Sending you so much love.

  22. So, so sorry to hear this news, Nicole. I know he was such a huge part of your family and a huge part of your heart. Hope you are all doing okay and sending hugs. xo

  23. Oh, no! I’m so sorry, Nicole. Losing a beloved pet is so hard! Thank you for sharing pictures of Barkley with us. Such a beautiful dog! That first photo — oh, my…how adorable!! He’ll always live in your heart.

  24. What a sweet pup! I’m so sorry he’s gone. Thank you for sharing such wonderful photos! What a wonderful way to celebrate his life! Hugs to you, Mona

  25. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Sending hugs.

  26. bibliomama2 says

    Oh, the pictures are amazing. What a beautiful part of your family he was. I’m so sorry he’s gone, but so happy for the beautiful life he had with you.

  27. I just saw this, and oh, Nicole, I am so sorry. My ex and I had to put our dog down… hm. Three years ago? Pre-COVID. And I’m still heartbroken. I’m not sure I will ever be able to have another dog. I’m so glad your family had so many wonderful years with your adorable fuzzball. <3

  28. Oh no, Nicole… I am just getting back to a computer trying to catch up on blogs (from the last month!) and I come here to find out about Barkley’s passing. I am so very sorry to hear this 🙁 I know you knew it was coming but that doesn’t make the goodbyes easier… although honestly, it sounds like he died the way most people would like to die, after a great morning with a hearty breakfast without any idea what’s going to happen after. I hope it’s a comfort that it wasn’t a long, dreadful decline.
    Many hugs! I loved seeing all the photos throughout the year. He looks and sounds like such a great part of your family!

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