Embrace The Season; Sixty-Four Weeks In

You won’t believe it, but last week we had a heat wave! The term Heat Wave, by the way, is relative to Calgary – I’m sure my friends in the South would just call it a stretch of pleasant summer days – but it has made me so happy. I’m spending every available minute outside; my garden is exploding. The neighbourhood is full of flowering trees in full bloom, and my own lilacs are making their appearance.

I love lilacs; when I was a kid I wished we had them in our yard as I would sniff the neighbours’ shrubs on the way to school every morning in June. Now I have them in my own backyard to sniff as much as I like! Life is good, even if the heat wave didn’t last and now it’s cool and rainy. The garden will be happy with this turn of events as well, and so will my water bill.

I am not a podcast person, but a woman I know was featured on Kelsie Snow’s Sorry I’m Sad, and I listened to it on my walk the other day. I vaguely knew Melanie (HI MELANIE) from the yoga studio, years ago, but I’ve gotten to know her more through her blog, newsletter, and instagram. She is a mother of three who is living with metastatic breast cancer and the knowledge that she won’t see her girls grow up to be women. She is in constant pain as the cancer has spread to her bones and uterus; she has compression fractures in her spine, as well as broken ribs. If you have a chance, give this podcast a listen; she talks about her diagnosis, how life, and being a mom, doesn’t stop when you have cancer, and the strain that chronic/ terminal illness – particularly in a pandemic, my god – puts on a marriage. It was incredibly moving but also inspiring. At the end of the podcast, she mentioned that when it’s winter, she loves taking photos of the winter sun. She thinks winter is her favourite, and then it’s spring, and she thinks spring is her favourite. Melanie said that it seemed like whatever season she is in, it’s her favourite, and the podcast ended with the following message: Embrace the Season You’re In.

I cannot tell you how strongly this resonated with me, on so many different levels. If I was a Tattoo Person, I’d get it tattooed on my arm. If I was an Inspirational Signage Person, I’d put it on a sign in fancy calligraphy in my front hallway. But I am a Blog Person, and so I am going to think about it and refer to it until the end of time.

Embrace the Season! I remember when my oldest was a baby, and I was visiting with a woman who kept telling me about her toddler and how horrible the 18 month stage was. Then, when I saw her next, several months later, she told me about the Terrible Twos. All I could think of at the time was that she would just continue to do that forever: the Terrible Twos would segue into the Even Worse Threes, and so it would go all the way up to the Untenable Teen Years. I could see it happening, and I vowed at that time that I would never think that way, and I haven’t. I try to always enjoy and embrace the stage I’m in and not look back in an overly nostalgic way or forward with extreme longing. The present moment is all we really have, as they say, and so here we are. Wherever we go, here we are.

It’s a strange season we are in, the pandemic. It would be weird and tone-deaf to say that we should embrace the pandemic, given that there have been so many who have died, or lost their livelihoods, or are dealing with long-term effects that no one knows how to deal with. But because of the pandemic, there are things that have changed for me, for the better: priorities have been highlighted, things that I didn’t think I could live without I have thrived without, and I have learned to cherish my relationships in a new way.

I was talking to my kids about the things we used to do when they were little: going to the zoo and science centre, the playgrounds and play groups. I loved doing those things but I am well aware that looking in the rearview mirror puts a gloss on them; it was often exhausting, and required so much logistical planning just to get out the door. Being a mom of teens is, I think, so much fun. The teen years get such a bad rap, and of course there is angst and drama and saucy back-talk. Of course there is! But there are interesting ideas and conversations, there is new learning and knowledge and the ability to see the world through fresh eyes. The Teen Years Season can be fraught, but it’s also breathtakingly beautiful.

Anyway, it’s easy to Embrace the Season when the sun is shining and the birds chirp along with my early morning yoga practice, and the neighbourhood is in bloom and strawberries are plentiful. The challenge is, of course, to keep this attitude when things turn. We’ve made it this far, all of us, and if Melanie can find beauty in her season, her current season defined by pain and cancer treatments, then I think we all can Embrace the Season We Are In.

Outfit of the Week

Last week I enjoyed pulling out my infrequently-used-but-much-loved warm-weather clothing. I mean, I went for my runs in shorts, SHORTS, people. It’s a bizarre look for me, since I also wear long compression socks to manage my varicose veins, which meant that I felt like one of those old men who wear long black socks with everything, in all weather.

This is NOT the Outfit of the Week.

I recently complimented a friend on her outfit, and she mentioned that we are at that age where when we find a piece that is comfortable and flattering, we buy it in an assortment of colours. That is so true; I do this all the time, except my colour variety tends to be black, grey, and maybe white. The exception is skirts and yoga tanks, I tend to veer towards colour in both! I love skirts that have shorts built in underneath; it’s the best of both worlds – the flattering cut of a skirt, and the comfort of knowing that the neighbours aren’t going to see my panties when I’m bending over or if it’s windy or something.

I have this skirt in many colours and patterns, although I tend to pair them with plain black tanks, let’s not get too wild. Old habits die hard, what can I say. I also will say that Old Navy has the best plain black tanks in terms of fit, longevity, and affordability, and I will die on this hill. I also pulled my sandals out of the closet this week! (Next week look for rain boots and pants).

Pandemic Reading

It’s been hit and miss with reading this week, without any You Must Read This recommendations.

The Accidental Tourist. It’s always strange to read a book that was written in the 80s – this was written in 1985 – because there are interesting little details that date the book: descriptions of airline travel, for one, new technology such as the Walkman, and clothing. Also, one of the characters has a body perm gone wrong and I felt seen. The problem is there are also details that date the book in a bad way; talking about “foreign-looking people” and other kind of distasteful descriptions. For me, this book was irritating and strangely depressing, like watching a movie from the 80s that didn’t age well. A few years ago I rewatched The Breakfast Club and was struck by all the fat-shaming and slut-shaming and general weirdness. Some things are best left in the past, I guess. I did not enjoy this book.

Little Pieces of Me. Let’s imagine you were really close to your late father, and then, two years after he died you found out that genetically, he wasn’t actually your father and your mother has been keeping a big secret after forty-three years. That’s the premise of this book and honestly, I did not like it. I found the main character so unlikeable and so unsympathetic. I think that if I found out my DNA was different than I thought it was, I don’t believe it would change the person that I am, and yet the main character was constantly saying she didn’t know who she really was and she wasn’t the person she thought she was, blah blah blah for another two hundred pages. I mean, it’s pretty theoretical on my end, as I am an actual female version of my dad, but I can’t imagine thinking I was a different person just because my dad wasn’t my biological dad. This book is very highly rated, but for me, it fell flat.

That Summer. I thought this was going to be a beach read, but it sure wasn’t. A book about sexual assault, #MeToo and the consequences for everyone involved. It’s a great message but I didn’t love the execution – for me the plot line was a little weak and cliched , and the characters very one dimensional. Still, as I say, a great message written with several points of view.

Have a beautiful week, friends! Embrace the season! For me, I’m going to embrace my rain boots and sweaters. xo