There are a pair of woodpeckers in our neighbourhood, wreaking havoc and inflicting damage everywhere. One of my neighbours has a giant hole in his house stucco, at any time of the day you might hear the loud rat-tat-tat of a woodpecker on a chimney, and, this week, the pair decided to put our Manitoba maple on its path of destruction.
We tried all sorts of humane, non-violent deterrents, to no avail. Every time we tried something, I would look out the window, and there would be a woodpecker hammering away at the giant hole it had made in the trunk of the tree, the rocks and cement pieces we had lodged in there scattered on the lawn. I watched it scare off squirrels in the tree and wondered what it would take to attract the neighbourhood crows to nest there. It says something that I would rather have a murder of crows nesting in my front yard than a pair of woodpeckers. At first I would run out and try to scare it away, but after the twentieth time I just stood at my window, staring despondently. Well, I guess the tree is going to die, I thought sadly.
It felt like a weird metaphor for life right now. We are now in another lockdown – I have lost count of what number this one is – because Alberta has the highest Covid cases per capita in the entire continent. This whole time, this WHOLE TIME, I have been following the rules and so has my family. My teenage boys have been nothing but great about rule following for the past SIXTY WEEKS. We have been careful and have adhered to the rules, and I have been thinking the best of people: we are all in this together, everyone is doing their best. It turns out that is not true, if it was, we wouldn’t be the worst in North America. If we were all doing our best and following rules, we wouldn’t be in Lockdown Number Who Even Knows. It is extremely disheartening. I try to think compassionately and with empathy, and yet deep down I know that there are clearly enough people who do not care enough about other people to change their behaviours, and that is a hard thing for me to face.
The one thing I was looking forward to, the one thing I wanted to do for Mother’s Day, was to visit my parents, along with my sister-in-law and family, and we had to take that off the table because even outdoor gatherings are restricted to less than five people. That was a pretty modest thing to look forward to, given that my kids have been at-home schooling, her kids have been at-home schooling, and I am the only person going anywhere, and that is to the grocery store or pharmacy. All the adults have had their first vaccine shot, and STILL we had to cancel.
Isn’t it interesting that shitty things tend to happen in clusters? In a space of 24 hours, not only did we have a lockdown announced, plans cancelled, and a tree that was being damaged extensively, but I also found out that the company that hosts my blog – this blog – is not going to do that anymore, and I had 90 days to migrate it to another server or let 13 years of memories disappear into the ether. This all happened after I went to the community centre where I teach zoom yoga on Monday afternoon, and the heating system was broken. Teaching yoga to a screen is one thing, but teaching a 90 minute class to a screen in a completely empty community centre – literally, I am the only person in the entire building – when the cavernous room is eleven degrees Celcius is quite another. I am an intelligent woman but the technological side of blogging is not my strength, and the thought that I had one more thing to deal with was my breaking point, particularly \when my actual bones hurt from spending nearly two hours in yoga clothes in an 11 degree room. I discovered all this, put on two sweaters and my warmest legwarmers, and sat on the bed with my knees tucked under my chin, staring at the wall for a long time.
I find that once I start spiralling, if I can solve one thing, just ONE THING, then the other things tend to follow. I googled best blog hosting platforms and then I PHONED a person at Bluehost, who was so kind and patient and reassuring that I felt that after our 30 minute conversation we could be best friends, but more importantly, I got my issue resolved. This site has been migrated successfully, and no one (read: me) had a nervous breakdown while it happened. I found out that my kids will be eligible to be vaccinated as of this week, omgomgomg, let’s fucking gooooooo, and the guys told me that for Mother’s Day they would be making dinner Saturday AND Sunday night, with no help or input from me. People, there was even a CAKE baked. My husband went into the office one day this week and came home with a box of Purdy’s that a client had sent at Christmas, and two of the pieces in it were mint fudge and raspberry creme, my favourites. It took hours of trying but I finally got through on the phone to a local company that would deliver an orchid to my mom to tide her over until we can actually visit. Remember the crappy company that charged me for flower delivery but made my parents pick up their arrangement instead? That company never responded to me. GO SUCK IT, BLOOMEX. There’s a new kid in town, and that kid delivered on their promise of a beautiful orchid.
Oh, and the woodpeckers? My husband strapped a flat rock to the hole the woodpeckers had made in the tree and although at first I just assumed that the woodpeckers would peck through the strap, the rock would tumble down and it would all be for naught, it seems to have worked; we have had five days with no woodpeckers. It’s been an emotional roller coaster of a week, but it feels like things are turning around and coming up Milhouse/ Nicole.
Outfit of the Week
This week’s outfit is workout wear. I find it very motivating to have cute clothes to wear while working out, even though literally no one sees me. I mean NO ONE. On weekdays I finish my workout before my husband starts work, as the desk is beside the cardio equipment and it’s better on all counts if his colleagues are not subject to background noise of my heavy breathing, countdowns, and singing along to Girls Just Want To Have Fun. On weekends my workout is finished before anyone even wakes up, which goes to show that these outfits are just for me. As it should be! Dress for your own pleasure, not anyone else’s.
I’ve had this top for probably five years, and I think it’s so cute, even when I wear it for non-yoga activities. You cannot tell from the photo but these leggings are padded, which is good for spin bikes, and I have a scrunchie in my hair, proving that you can go back again.
Pandemic Reading
This was my library reading pile last Sunday:
I was feeling great about my pace of reading, until six more books came in before Friday.
Eeep! Well, we should get started.
Caste. This incredibly important book should be read by all. It explores the caste systems in three countries: India, Nazi Germany, and America. Back in the early 1930s, during the rise of the Third Reich, legislators took notes from America as to how to legislate discrimination. Let’s sit with that for a moment. Nazi Germany took a page from the US as to how to oppress a group of people, how to make it legal to discriminate and, ultimately, actually end people’s lives, based on Jim Crow laws. I cannot even describe how important this book is, you have to read it yourself; from Confederate statues to everyday micro-aggressions, from redlining to lynching for imaginary crimes, the dominant caste’s inhumanity – in all three countries – is breathtaking. Wilkerson is a brilliant writer. By the way, we Canadians tend to get smug but we have a long dark history as well, concerning our treatment of Indigenous people. A friend pointed out that South Africa took a page from Canada’s book as to the treatment of Indigenous people, so let’s keep that in mind. It is absolutely a challenge to keep our minds and hearts open when it comes to ingrained feelings about people, based on the way they look, but we can rise to the challenge. More understanding breeds a better world. I cannot recommend this book enough.
Just As Long As We’re Together and Here’s To You, Rachel Robinson. On a completely different note, my rereading of Judy Blume continues. These two books are great. No one understands youth like Judy Blume, and these two books perfectly capture being thirteen, with friend and family issues. They follow a trio of friends, and I think if you are female, you know what it is to be part of a trio. With a trio of friends, there is always one left out. Even as an adult woman I have experienced this feeling. One interesting thing I found about these books is that there is a character who I completely identify with. I could see my young teenage self in Rachel Robinson, and if I had read these when I was 13, I would have felt very seen. I think that’s the key with Blume, is that she really sees young people for who they are, flaws and all.
Such A Fun Age. It’s really exciting when a book that you have had on hold for months and months finally comes in. For MONTHS I have had people ask me “Have you read Such A Fun Age?” many, many times. I really did enjoy this book about a young Black woman who babysits for a wealthy white woman, and who is dating a man who, unknowingly to all, has a connection to her employer. I will say, though, that I liked this book better as a social commentary than as a novel, if you know what I mean. I found a couple of the plot points to be puzzling, but in a good way, in a way that made me think harder. I think that’s why it was more of a social commentary to me. Two out of three of the main characters I found quite gross and despicable, which is a sign of good writing.
I hope you all have a beautiful week; keep shining. To my friends who are going through lockdowns and are losing hope, we really are all in this together. xo
You must have a different species of woodpecker up there, because we often see them in our yard and they seem to extract bugs from the tree bark without doing much damage.
I’m sorry about all the lockdowns. I don’t think people’s behavior is any better in the States, we’re just having a more speedy vaccine rollout.
I’m glad things are looking up.
The woodpeckers are SO destructive here. The damage on houses is really something. They seem to have a homing instinct, because they tend to go back to the holes that they have made in houses, trees, etc., over and over.
Have you read any of Rainbow Rowell’s work? I feel the same way about her ability to understand teenagers/young adults as you expressed about Judy Blume (I think I might have read one or two JB books but not for a very long time).
I agree with Steph that the speed of vaccine rollout seems to be more what affects case rates at the moment than lockdowns and rule following. The UK is vaccinating pretty speedily, and people have been blithely ignoring the rules for months. Including politicians!
You may be too lawful-good to do this, but at a certain point I think it is reasonable to decide “we pose literally no risk to each other beyond the risk that already exists within each of our households (aka one person shopping), so we will meet up once for our sanity”. It feels like a slippery slope to anarchy, but it doesn’t have to be. Your careful compliance with the rules won’t sway anyone who is ignoring them. Your measured decision to meet someone in a way that is very low-risk but not perfectly in line with the rules won’t cause other people to go mad and start a mass spitting party.
I’ve read Eleanor and Park and I loved it – I should look up more of Rowell’s work. You’re right, it was very understanding of youth.
“Slippery slope to anarchy” made me smile – I am considering it, for sure! Thank you xo
p.s. I’m glad your site migrated without issue. We had to migrate mine in 2008 and I lost all the comments on posts from 2007 and most of 2008. It STILL irks me when I look at old posts, which I do pretty frequently.
I was so worried about it! I am relieved.
Sorry about the lockdown. That really bites. I feel like we are moving in the right direction in my area of Chicago, which gives me hope that things will be back to normal soon. I’m sorry that you aren’t experiencing the same thing.
I love the flat rock strapped to the tree. So creative.
Cute outfit and I do the same, dress for myself. My comfort. My need for a pick-me-up or whatever.
That stack of books – that would take me better part of a year to get through. I appreciate your recommendations.
Hope you get a face to face visit soon with you mom. Love that the boys made you dinners two nights in a row. Oh, and if I had to do anything with my blog it would completely throw me off my A game and I might just have to quit all together. So glad you got it worked out. I laughed at the new best friend thought – I’ve had those calls, namely the woman at Apple who helped me 5 years ago get music to upload to my desktop so I could make Lad’s grad video. (I knew how to upload music but there was some weird password issue or something).
I’m so glad you’re moving in the right direction, because we sure aren’t. I’m hoping the vaccines that are coming our way will help.
NICOLE. What. A. Week. I am so glad that you were able to find a blog hosting solution, and an orchid for your mother, and that you got CAKE and CANDY. I mean, that should be the BASELINE when you are on lockdown again. ELEVEN DEGREES. That is jacket weather, not yoga weather!
I am delighted that you read Such a Fun Age, because I read it recently and LOVED IT. So good, and such biting commentary on class and race and the relationships people have with their “help.” Alix is one of the top most appalling villains I have encountered in a long while. The more I read, the more I hated her.
I have 7.5 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle on my nightstand right now — doubtful I can finish it before you do (as I am in the middle of, somehow, five other books already) (eeeep!) but I am eager to hear your thoughts.
May this week be MUCH BETTER IN EVERY WAY.
Alix WAS such an appalling villain, and the twist near the end when she’s cleaning lockers. Well. I was feeling strange while reading it, thinking something’s off here, and then the twist. GAH.
That blog issue is my worst nightmare. I started printing out blog posts a while ago but stopped and man, there is a lot of blog to lose.
I keep seeing Such a Fun Age but I’ve had no desire to read it. I dislike when I feel compelled to read something just because a lot of other people have, but I sometimes do. Caste has been on my list for a while, glad to have a recommendation, although I don’t know that my Covid brain is up to tackling it at the moment.
You’re going to refuse to teach yoga in that place until they fix the heat, right? That is not right.
I think I might start printing things out. I know Lynn from Turtlehead does that every few years too, and I think I should. I’d hate to lose everything.
Whoa, you have had a week! I can certainly sympathize with your lockdown blues. We have been under “Stay at Home” orders in Ontario for 3 weeks now and it’s expected to be extended to June 2. On Saturday I felt my self falling to a very low point. We have also been very compliant, making it so frustrating. Bent the rules a bit and visited with my daughters family outside for an hour yesterday. (all 4 adults have been vaccinated and the kids wore masks). It’s better than nothing, but I miss hugs.
I LOVE woodpeckers but did not know they would kill a tree? Mostly we see them around our cottage and haven’t noticed any significant damage. We had a very unsettling bird experience last week – there was a nest in our front yard with two baby mourning doves. Suddenly it was like a scene from birds- hundreds of birds frantically swooping around. Two HUGE birds (I think black vultures) came in, each picked up a baby, sat on our lawn to eat them and flew off. This all took less than a minute or two. I do get the ‘circle of life’ thing but this did unsettle me!
I’m so glad you got your blog moved over and are feeling better.
Oh, the woodpeckers here are so destructive. The hole that they made in the tree trunk, it’s halfway THROUGH the trunk. I’d take a picture of it but I don’t want to move the rock 🙂 Yikes, the circle of life can sure be brutal!
Oh, Nicole! Sending you wine and hugs. I’m so sorry that you weren’t able to see your parents – I can only imagine the disappointment.
So disappointing! But hopefully in a little while, things will settle down.
I’m so sorry you couldn’t keep your plans to visit with family. I hope that things turn a corner soon and here’s a kick in the pants to selfish people!!
I love your attitude and agree that sometimes accomplishing ONE THING is the key to breaking out of a doom and gloom rut. 👏🏻
Also love your book recs, I’m on a good streak lately of enjoyable reads. Just finished Murderbot’s latest novella, Fugitive Telemetry which was excellent and I’m currently reading Andy Weir’s latest Project Hail Mary.
I haven’t read either of those – will have to look them up! Yes, sometimes just solving one problem can stop the downward spiral!
SO sorry about the lockdown and NOT seeing your family. That really bites.
I had major issues with Bluehost, but I’m also not very techie. I hope your blog continues to shine and not give you any issues.
We’ve a plethora of peckers right now; three varieties, but I see them mostly in the pine trees on either side of our property. Occasionally they’ll try their best to peck our metal gutters, which I would think they would learn by now are METAL. For use they’re mesmerizing to watch and not destructive. I hope the rock trick continues to work.
I love that your people took care of your meals for TWO days; you deserve all the good stuff my friend.
Oh noooooooo – what kind of issues did you have? I’m nervous now!
You would have already had them by now. I just wasn’t able to have the (non self) hosted site work for me. I’m sure it’s because I’m not very tech intelligent.
Hello Nicole, Moe here. I am so glad you were able to get your blog taken care of as I so enjoy reading it. It gives me comfort that I am not alone in all this. That someone else is frustrated too especially after all our sacrifices. Your blog makes me smile and sometimes laugh. After I read your blog, I feel like I have visited with you. I drove past your house yesterday and so wanted to stop to say hi. Just a little while longer. We can do it. Right??Hugs.
Oh Moe, I miss you so much! Thank you for these kind words. Next time pop by and say hi, we can always visit outside – I’ll put my lawn chairs 6 feet apart xoxo
Ooo, I encourage you to move the Bill Bryson book to the top of the pile, it’s just wonderful! A nice mix of history, and a book you can easily burn through or pick up here and there. Highly recommend.
That’s the one I’m reading right now! It’s great! Not at ALL what I expected, but great!
I’m sorry all this crap found its way into your life all. at. once. On the upside, from my pov, I can see your photos on your blog post. Progress, despite being still at home. I want to read Caste and have added it to my list. Many people have praised it, sharing how it has helped them understand our times.
Oh, I WONDERED if that would help! Yay! Photos! Definitely an upside to all this chaos 🙂