“Sports” and Coffee Emergency; Three Weeks In

My husband really, really enjoys watching sports. He is what I would consider a Huge Fan of the Patriots, but that doesn’t stop him from enjoying many other teams and sports. In fact, I would say that he follows every single sport on the planet. His knowledge of sports is quite uncanny; you would really want him on your team if you were playing Trivial Pursuit, because General Sports Knowledge is his thing. He knows the answer to EVERYTHING in that category, and not just the Superbowls and Stanley Cups and NBA Championships and World Series, no, he knows boxing and horse racing and car racing and tennis, he knows UFC and Olympic outcomes in all categories. It’s impressive, really. Who won the Kentucky Derby in 1982? Who won the Men’s Hockey Gold Medal in 2010? Who defeated Mike Tyson in 1996? The only thing I can compare this knowledge to is mine for calorie counts. Remember in Bridget Jones’ Diary, when asked how many calories in a banana, she responds “Small or medium?” That’s me.

Sports are the only reason we have cable TV, and so this is a sad loss for Mr. Boyhouse. He has been watching some old Patriots “Greatest Games” on the sports channel, but it’s not the same. The other day he turned the sports channel on and there was wrestling and by god, he watched it for a few minutes. WRESTLING. Old school, that-guy’s-name-is-The-Undertaker kind of wrestling. I kid you not, the other evening there was a Tetris tournament on the sports network. End Times Indeed.

With my husband working from home all day long has come the advent of All Day Business News Network. I will tell you my absolutely favourite thing about BNN is that all the experts are – of course – isolating and are filming from home. I am a nosy kind of person and so I find it very interesting what people’s homes look like. I particularly loved this guy:

Either he has a small child or he is really into stuffed elephants. Either way, I approve. Elephants are awesome.

Alarming Issue of the Week

My coffee maker has started leaking. Every afternoon when I start my dinner preparations, I fill it with water and coffee grounds, so that in the morning I can just turn it on. I do not ever – nor will I ever – use the Timer Start function, mostly because I have a fear of fire and so unplug any small appliance that has heat capacity immediately after use. I just want to turn on the coffee pot and have it make coffee. Now, however, after a solid eight years of service, the maker has started to leak so that if I fill the pot, there is approximately one less cup when I brew it.

Slight digression: if my mother-in-law still has a functional chest freezer that she got as a newlywed in 1962, why can’t I have an appliance that will last for even one fifth of that time? Is that too much to ask?

It hasn’t reached True Emergency levels yet; the coffee is still being brewed. No one is getting stabbed. Yet. But I feel that this leak is an important Warning Sign and if ignored – to quote the Phantom of the Opera – a Disaster Beyond Your Imagination Will Occur.

In other words, I am currently researching coffee makers from businesses that will deliver. I briefly looked at Amazon, but a coffee maker is not a prioritized item which, what the hell, Amazon, have you been in my house? and so it would not arrive until the beginning of May, at which point Things Could Reach Grave Levels. The Bay looks like a likely place to order; my husband suggested I could go to Canadian Tire but honestly, is it a Leave The House Emergency? I am guessing NO.

Now, I know some of you will immediately want to recommend fancy things like a French press or some kind of cold brew or espresso maker, and I love you all, but NO. When it comes to coffee, I am strictly a Quantity Over Quality kind of girl. I just want 10-12 cups of not-very-strong drip black coffee made from Kirkland brand grounds, to be consumed between 5:00 and 7:00 in the morning. I don’t want a timer. I don’t want to grind my own beans. I don’t want to savour every sip. I just want a massive amount of coffee to pour down my gullet and then I want to get on with my day.

Anyway, I will keep you posted.

Pandemic Reading This Week

After I finished the Mists of Avalon, I wanted a few quick, light reads. Mission accomplished!

Not only did Nora Ephron write my favourite movie ever made – When Harry Met Sally – but I really love all her essays. This collection, about being a woman of a certain age, is simultaneously life-affirming and hilarious. For the record, I also feel bad about my neck.

Revisiting childhood favourites can be FRAUGHT, let me tell you. I loved this book so much as a child – check out my third-grade signature – and I can see why. The descriptions of the beauty of nature alone are worth the read, and I remember desperately wishing for a hayloft to sleep in. But HOO BOY is this book dark. The backstory of how Heidi goes to live on the mountain with her grandfather is nuts. First, she is orphaned at age one as her father gets crushed to death by a beam as he is helping to build a house, and her mother subsequently dies “of grief.” Her aunt and grandmother care for her until she is five and her grandmother dies. Her aunt has the chance to go into service with a wealthy family – she was a chambermaid at “the baths” – and so takes her to her hermit grandfather who terrifies all around him. She leaves him there with the thought that hey, children’s lives are uncertain, so if something should happen…

THEN the aunt comes to collect her three years later, to take her to Frankfort to be a companion for a wealthy invalid girl. Again, if something should happen to this invalid girl, this could spell Easy Street for Heidi. Heidi is so homesick and sad in the Big Apple of Frankfort that she stops eating and wastes away to nothing. She gets sent back to the mountain. The invalid girl and her grandmother come to visit, Peter the Crazy and A Little Slow Goatherd throws her wheelchair down the mountain in a jealous fit, which turns out to be a Blessing as she re-learns how to walk. But that’s not all! The wealthy doctor from Frankfort comes to visit and is so cured of sadness – his daughter is also dead – that he agrees to make Heidi his heiress/ companion when her own grandfather eventually Meets His Maker and she is left alone. There is a very strong Christian theme throughout, and, as with all children’s books of the time, it has a lot of morals thrown in. INTENSE.

On a much lovelier note, this is a GORGEOUS book about the beauty of mathematics and inter-generational friendship.

Yesterday was a difficult one for me, and this happy, funny book helped me through.

This Week In Gentle Yoga

Speaking of seeing what people’s houses look like, check out my basement!

Pandemic Fitness

My steps and miles were slightly lower this week; yesterday was a sluggish day. But I still got my marathon in, barely!

Stay safe, my friends. xo

Comments

  1. My husband turned on one of the sports channels the other day and two basketball players were playing, from their home, a basketball video game.

    I mean, I know sports is hurting, but… is THIS the solution? Is it?\

    Thank you for the book recs. I tried to put a hold on the Ephron book, which sounds PERFECT for These Times, but my library doesn’t have it for Kindle?!?!?! And I appreciated the Heidi recap. My memory of it was tied to the rich descriptions of the simple food Heidi ate at her grandfather’s. But I do remember loving it – the storytelling is so captivating! Perhaps I will re-read it once I am done with my light-and-fluffy Jessica Simpson memoir.

    I am fervently hoping that your coffee maker magically heals itself.

  2. Your description of the dangers of you trying to survive without a coffee maker cracked me up. I hope it keeps chugging along for your sake and for the entire family. I am having issues with my less than 6 month old Ninja blender. I don’t do coffee, but I NEED my protein shake daily. I mix it in my Ninja – enough to feed the masses, because most people drink some. It is struggling to blend the frozen fruit (I buy mass amounts of fresh fruit and freeze it and then toss it in) and it takes an added 10 minutes for me to open it and jab around inside with a butter knife trying to get everything to mix which is making me grouchy.

    Mini and I also love peeking inside the newscasters houses and some of the houses on our walk. We walk past some mansions and today we managed to find a different angle to see a beautiful staircase in one of our favorites. Mini wants to ring the doorbell and say, ‘can we just come in and look around?’ Yeah, that won’t work even in non-pandemic times. But the elephant collection slayed me. Bah ha!

    I want to read that neck book. Now! I am excited because our local used book store is going to start a curbside pickup service. I am going to call and see what I can get when they open tomorrow.

    We too are feeling the absence of televised sports. There have been many games of b-ball on our driveway and Coach just set up the volleyball net. Coach just said, they are so lucky there are so many of them because they can all play together. (lest you think it is all Norman Rockwell over here- not without name calling and sore losing).

    Early on a sports channel re-played a hot dog eating competition and I felt like I was staring into Tank’s future. While in New York in the hotel the morning after we got Lad, there was a sport show featuring guys playing ping pong using their heads and a volleyball instead of a tiny ball.

  3. The Husband is a football only kinda guy, so he isn’t missing that…yet. The coffee maker issue is HUGE and needs to be remedied STAT. Do you have any stores offering curbside delivery? I know you can order online at Target and drive up and they put it in your car.

    I remember reading Heidi as a child and loving it – I do not remember it being so dark though – I will have to re-read it soon.

    I’m excited about your yoga video. I’m hoping tomorrow is a slow work day so I can join in. Stay safe!

  4. Our washing machine broke last week. Luckily our favorite appliance repairman is still taking emergency calls. Six people, one house, no washing machine = emergency. My dad asked why I didn’t get a new one instead. ??? Where? How? What? No!

  5. Wow, I didn’t remember Heidi being so intense. If that’s not the exact same cover as my childhood copy, it’s close.

  6. I find it fascinating about your husband and his sports knowledge; amazing.
    I hope you find a good solution to your ‘almost’ coffee problem; I would be wigging out too.
    The book Heidi sounds so scary for a child to read. WOW.
    Your basement is lovely and it was nice to see you. 🙂

  7. Samantha says:

    A temporary fix for the coffee pot while you wait for Amazon: put a pitcher with the measured amount of water next to the power button and dump it in right when you press go. I bet it won’t leak as badly if it isn’t sitting all night. Also, fwiw because I am not in Canada, Amazon has been saying I won’t get packages for weeks and they have been arriving much earlier than that (I had to order a replacement coffee pot part and some school supplies)

  8. bibliomama2 says:

    Agree about the Amazon thing, or also maybe try Bed Bath and Beyond? My fan broke and I ordered a new one from them and their shipping seems pretty fast. I love the Ephron book and the Mindy Kaling one had me belly-laughing at physio, which was a little embarrassing.

  9. Wow I had zero recollection of the deeply depressing nature of Heidi. This is the kind of thing that I reflect on whenever one of my kids accidentally reads or watches something that I think is too dark/intense. I have obviously forgotten massive swaths of things that I watched or read that were too dark/intense (except Watership Down – a movie that made me cry so hard that my parents had to take me out of the theater – I remember that) when I was a kid so hopefully they will not be permanently scarred.

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