What is with the watermelon?

The last week of June is always a bit crazy, no? I mean, not for the kids. Nothing academic is going on, which is just fine. The Grade Sixes had their Provincial Achievement Tests, five in total, and those finished on Monday. Mark, despite being very well-prepared as well as being someone who always tests well, was extremely nervous. Apparently his teacher had, in an attempt to soothe jangled nerves in the class, said the test was more about her teaching than their performance, which is true. However, that seemed to make things worse, if anything, because then he was concerned about the teacher’s employment status. I explained a bit about teaching resources, training, and unions, and he seemed to be calmed by this. Nonetheless, we are all relieved that the tests are over and now it’s all about Sports Day and Cleaning Out Your Desk and Grade Six Farewell.

Tomorrow is the big Farewell, which is quite exciting. I remember my own Grade Six Farewell quite well, so it feels a bit Sunrise, Sunset, but in a good way. There is also an afternoon dance, so I will be very interested to hear how that goes.

I managed to squeeze in a quick Costco run – not an oxymoron, it actually was fairly quick – this morning. Sometimes I think you can tell a lot about a person by what’s in their cart; for example, today I had a massive amount of nuts, nut butters, frozen fruit, coffee, those little potatoes, salsa, and a gargantuan bag of chocolate chips, which I think says a lot about me. I always look at other people’s carts because I like to imagine what their lives are like, and what they are going to do with those random items. I will always wonder if the fellow with six flats of juice boxes and ten cases of fun sized potato chips is hosting a sports tournament. I will never not be charmed by elderly men who have nothing whatever in their carts but eggs, bread, sausages, and huge buckets of ice cream. I will always smile when I see someone at Walmart who has mouthwash, personal lubricant, jelly beans, and a value pack of tube socks.

Costco wasn’t too busy today so I chose a decent looking lineup, right behind a man with the most interesting cart I had ever seen. He had a twin bed mattress balanced atop his giant cart, and beneath it was a package of chicken breasts and a single watermelon.

First off, I believe this man deserves all of our praise for doing what most of us cannot: leaving Costco with only three items. That alone is impressive, but more interestingly is the thought process that occurred here. Almost certainly, the man went to Costco to get a bed mattress, but then did he decide the watermelons looked too good to pass up? And the chicken breasts as well? The three items are not displayed anywhere near each other, so I am very interested in the process here.

I thought about this as I unloaded my cart, and by the time it was my turn to hand over my Costco card, I noticed something. The package of chicken breasts was still there, beside the cashier. Sure enough, the man was walking away with his mattress and watermelon, but no chicken breasts. An employee came up to the cashier, who handed her the package of chicken breasts, saying that the customer had decided against them, and could she please reshelve the item?

People. How does that happen? I mean, I’ve had my share of buyer’s regrets in the past. We have all decided at the last minute that the frivolous item we impulsively popped into our carts wasn’t worth it; it’s a customer’s prerogative to change their mind, I guess. But can we really say that a package of chicken breasts is an impulse buy? I just don’t know. I want to know what HAPPENED. No thanks, I’ll just take the mattress and watermelon.

I guess I was too busy with my own items to be nosy, sadly.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I was still being nosy, as I noticed that the young lady behind me had unloaded her items. Her cart consisted of twelve boxes of Natural Remedy Osteo Joint Pain Relief, a bag of apples, and a giant box of Playtex Sport, and that was enough to make me nod at her and smile as I wheeled my cart out of the store.


  1. Cara-Lynne Auld says

    That Nicole, was the best Thursday evening laugh I have had in a long time. Namaste.

  2. Now *I* want to know! Oh, the scenarios one imagines.

    It’ll all end in tears, Nicole.

    I am always intrigued by the twin kayaks!

  3. Somewhat paradoxically, I am pissed at Eve’s teachers for all the projects they have piled on for the very end of the year, when I usually think the last week of school is useless and unnecessary. Maybe I’m just like my mother, she’s never satisfied (Prince-like squawk, Dove’s cry, etc.)
    Seriously, I would have had to chase mattress-guy down and plead to know the reasoning. And I probably would have punted a Costco-sized box of chocolate bars into the Playtex woman’s cart.

Leave a Reply