Bringing Happy Home

I flew in from Maui yesterday and boy, are my arms tired!

Sorry. I’m still pretty tired from a) flying the red eye on Monday night and b) dealing with an overtired child who was too tired to sleep last night and then had nightmares every hour or so that I’m having that weird thing where I don’t even really know what I’m doing. Yesterday I looked in the refrigerator for salt, for example, and I stared at the shelves for a good two minutes before I realized that on Planet Earth, we don’t refrigerate salt. I am less tired today – I’m not looking in the refrigerator for spices – but still in fog brain mode.

But who cares, right? I just spent twelve days in Maui and it was the best vacation we have ever had. Everything was perfect. Although it already feels like months ago when I was hanging out on the lanai drinking vodka and vitamin water:


or wearing a giant hat


or reassuring one of my children that the other one would not get close enough to a blowhole and get killed.

101 102

So it’s back to reality, I guess. I’m trying to get back in the swing of things without complaining about the absence of palm trees or afternoon boozing. WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT PLACE WITHOUT OCEAN BREEZES? It’s weird getting used to wearing socks and pants again, but here we are.

There’s been a lot of talk lately (forever?) about women wearing bikinis and getting your body bikini-ready and you know what? This was my fourth visit to Maui and I would say that 95% of the women on the beach are in bikinis, regardless of age or body shape. This is how it should be! I mean, really, look at men – they generally shirtless on the beach and we never, ever say a word about it. We don’t say “that guy has too big of a gut to wear those board shorts,” now, do we? Maybe we get a little weirded out when the elderly man wearing a brief-like swimsuit bends over near us and we see his testicles, but that doesn’t happen often (although when it does, we cannot unsee it). So why do we have a debate over whether or not women can wear bikinis?

From personal experience, I think bikinis are much more comfortable than any other kind of swimsuit. I’m kind of tall, and one-piece bathing suits never fit right. Tankinis don’t work for me for swimming because they ride up too much. So I opt for bikinis, although I’m less than three weeks away from being forty and the bottom part of my belly is a bit wrinkly from having babies and the “girls” are not what they used to be, believe me. But who cares? Why do we feel the need to look like Gisele Bundchen on the beach, or snark at other women for also not looking like Gisele Bundchen on the beach?

Maybe I’m feeling snappy today, but I’m making a vow, and that is to stop with the negativity. Not just for myself, but I’m no longer going to silently stand by while women tear down other women. We’d all love to be perfect, but no one is, and we aren’t going to get any closer to perfection by being mean and negative. Maybe, just maybe, instead of discussing someone’s flaws, we can inspire people to be better by discussing positive, happy things.

And on that note, I leave you with this: no makeup, swim hair, bug bite, and reapplied sunscreen. When I look at this photo, all I can think of is how happy I was at that very moment. xo




  1. So Mark had his birthday in Hawaii? Sweet. I’m glad you had a great trip. I am looking forward to our upcoming spring break trip which will also feature the beach, but not one where you can wear a bikini in April (North Carolina). Well, I guess you could, but you’d be pretty chilly.

  2. Thank you for your positive words. One of my children caught a glimpse of my belly the other day and was…not thrilled. Me: “THAT WAS YOUR FIRST HOME! YOU LIVED IN THERE!”

  3. How to get a bikini body: put a bikini on your body.

  4. We went to San Diego over Spring Break last week and I had a similar revelation. Tons of women there, I mean tons, were wearing thong bikinis, something I haven’t seen really outside of France, and it was fine. No, they weren’t all Gisele Bundchen shaped and it didn’t matter. They were comfortable with themselves.

    I don’t wear bikinis because (1) I burn so easily that I spend 3/4 of my time on the beach slathering with sunscreen and then just giving up and putting on more clothing because otherwise I’m doomed and (2) Youngest is still at the age when I have to actively get into the ocean with her and swim and let’s just say that in the past I’ve had . . . experiences . . . with swimming in the ocean and bikini tops. However, if not for these two issues, I would probably slap on a bikini and sun every square inch of myself that it was acceptable to sun during a winter vacation because it feels so damned good to be in a place where it’s not cloudy/rainy/cold and I’m probably direly vitamin D deficient 6-8 months of the year despite taking supplements. I try really hard to model body acceptance for my daughter (and my son, but my daughter is likely to run up against society’s BS sooner) and if that could include wearing a bikini I’d go for it, age be damned!


  1. Palm To Perfection Tankini

    […] ildren that the other one would not get close enough to a blowhole and get kille […]

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