This is a million dollar idea.

The other day I was putting gas in my car and I reset the odometer as I always do whenever I fill up. I realized that I have been doing this since age 16, when my dad told me to, ostensibly to calculate gas mileage. In all these years, I have never once calculated the gas mileage, although I always reset the odometer, without fail. My dad would probably be disappointed to know this. I actually don’t even know the volume of the gas tank, and I don’t keep track of my gas station receipts, so really, there is no need to reset the odometer. And yet, if I don’t, I feel as though the apocalypse might be upon us, and so reset the odometer I will.

Friday afternoon the boys and I headed out to Dairy Queen to get the fabled Treatzza Pizza for Mark’s birthday party, and on the way home we were stopped at a red light beside a young guy who had music blasting. The music wasn’t the usual thumpy bass-heavy sound of today’s youth; curious, I cracked my window. All the better to hear you with, perfect stranger stopped at a red light next to me.

The song was Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. It was BLASTING. The guy had his windows down and had a perfectly straight face. He wasn’t grooving. He wasn’t singing. He wasn’t even tapping his hands on the steering wheel, but he was playing Ring of Fire cranked up like nobody’s business. When the light turned green, I noticed that the car itself was a Lincoln sedan.

And how was the birthday party? MY GOD, LOUD. It was four hours and honestly, I now think that I was unbalanced to think that was a reasonable amount of time to have eight children in the house. I mean, sure, the kids had a great time. Everyone said the party was “epic.” And yet, with forty minutes to go until pick-up time, I looked at my husband and told him that I didn’t think I was going to make it. But make it I did; everyone was happy and the kids all brought tons of food for the food bank, so it was a win. Maybe next time I will schedule the party for three hours.

In the interest of grievance airing, I must tell you that I am constantly grieved by a failure on nail polish companies to make a long-enough brush to reach the polish at the bottom of the bottle. I long for a world in which I can actually use all the polish in the bottle, without tipping the bottle precariously, trying to get the polish on the brush. Years of throwing out 3/4 empty bottles of nail polish because the last 1/4 is inaccessible has made me feel slightly bitter towards all nail polish companies. This is the same feeling I get with lip gloss – I can see there is still lip gloss in the container, and yet the applicator cannot access it. It is wasteful and must be stopped. Petition forthcoming.

Years ago I saw an episode of Dragon’s Den or Shark Tank or one of those shows in which the panel displays disgust at someone for triple-mortgaging their house to finance a really ridiculous and un-saleable idea, and the would-be entrepreneur talks about how moronic the panel is not to take them up on the Coolest Idea Ever, and that their offer of $1,000,000 for a 5% stake in their would-be company is a steal of a deal. Do you know those shows? My husband likes them. I do not. But years ago I saw an episode that featured a young woman who had come up with an idea for a long, skinny spatula that was designed to get the last bits of conditioner or lotion out of the bottle. It was called the Spaddy Daddy. Someone needs to come up with a Spaddy Daddy specifically for nail polish and lip gloss. I’m putting it out there! Someone please grab that idea and run with it, so I don’t have to spend half a blog post writing about how stupid this nail polish and lip gloss waste is. Again.

Now that I’ve aired a grievance, I feel like I need to balance the scales a bit by telling you about something I love. My husband recently installed Sonos in our house, fulfilling his lifelong dream to watch a movie with surround sound in the comfort of our own home. Now, I don’t really care about movie sound, but he also put in satellite radio in our house and I am in love. The greatest thing about this technology is that each song title and album cover pops up on my phone, which means I get to look at Bob Seger and really admire his hair.


Seriously, look at his hair. It’s lustrous. Shiny. Full of wave and body. Things I never thought I’d say: I covet Bob Seger’s hair.

Now look at this:


It’s not possible for me to love this photo more. Look at the hair. The moustaches. The wide lapels and the (I assume) three piece suits? Damn, Dan and Coley really got it together for this album cover. Plus, look at the expressions on their faces! I’m not talking about moving in. And I don’t want to change your life. But there’s a warm wind blowing the stars around, and I’d really love to see you tonight. I feel like he really WOULD love to see me tonight.


  1. I have a 16-hour slumber party coming up this weekend. Just sayin’. Of course, they should theoretically be asleep for much of that time and I only allowed four guests. Also, I put the kibosh on the guest who screamed almost unceasingly during J’s party last year. She’s not invited.
    I thought that lyric was “a warm wind’s blowing, the stars are out…”

  2. Four hours?? Whoa, super-mamma! Too long!

    But they were kind and brought food donations! Perfect! 🙂

    Now, I must know. How was the Treatzza Pizza? Was it a big hit? Honestly, I have been wondering since you first wrote about it. 😀

    I have the same pet peeve re: nail polishes, mascaras, lip glosses. Grr!

    I hope that some talented person Photoshops Bob Seger’s hair onto your photo! Sort of a “try before you buy” thing. 😉

    • Here’s the thing…it was OKAY. I mean, I didn’t try it but the kids thought it was “okay” which doesn’t seem great in my book. My husband thought that the DQ ice cream cake is far superior. We had the Smarties kind, so maybe a different flavour would be better, I don’t know. The crust (like a cookie crust) wasn’t very popular with the kids. I guess we would rate it a C+.

  3. My dad told me to do the same thing! I’ve never done it once either. Good on you for the 4 hour party! Wow. P.S. I live in YYC and I know the mall parking lot where you had your recent blood work done by your picture. It was back to craziness with indecipherable spots due to the snow yesterday and I thought of you as I took my own daughter to the doctor. Madness! (Not stalking, just another mom in YYC thinking and doing similar things! 🙂

    • That parking lot is crazy! If you’re in YYC maybe you can relate to this: each and every time I go into the Brentwood Shopping Mall parking lot I feel like I’m taking my life in my hands. Talk about disorganized! Eeek!


    Nope. 6 year old wants a party for his birthday and I am firmly in the “two hours, max, and let’s pray the snow melts so you can all go outside for a while” camp.

  5. Sort-of-my six year old’s birthday party had 14 (14!!) guests, three of which were of the deliberate trouble maker ilk, but there were four adults in attendance and it only lasted 1.5 hours. Which was quite long enough oh my goodness. You are a braver woman than I, or my boys’ mum.

  6. Yes, how was the Treatzza Pizza? We go to Dairy Queen all the time and I’ve never heard of it before. Perhaps it’s a regional thing?

    And yes, Bob Seger’s hair is truly beautiful in that picture. Also, I like the word “lustrous.”

    • We would give it a C+. It was okay, but definitely not as good as the regular ice cream cake. Not that I tried it…but the kids didn’t totally love it. I mean, they ate it, but they are 10/11 year old boys so…

  7. Ha! I always reset my odometer when I get gas, too, but I never keep track of mileage. It’s just habit.

    Johnny Cash is retro cool these days. He gets played fairly often on the Indie music station I listen to regularly (I have the music tastes of a hipster 30-year-old and the body and lifestyle of a mid-40’s mom).

    Glad you survived the party…four hours! Eep!

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