Nicole’s Favourite Things: Homemade Eye Makeup Remover

Regular readers and people who know me in person know that I am not an “au naturel” type of girl. Unless I’m deathly ill, I put on makeup and do my hair every single day. I have done this so long that I have it down to a science. I could fairly reliably “put my face on” without a mirror, if I had to. I mean, that wouldn’t be ideal, but I COULD do it.

Some people switch up their makeup looks regularly, but I do not. I’ve worn the same basic eye makeup since I was in junior high, so it’s safe to say that I’ve gone through my share of dark brown eyeliner pencils and black mascara. I never wear eye shadow and I don’t play around with different colours of eye makeup. Black mascara. Dark brown eyeliner. The end.

Typical daily eye makeup.

But the other day I inadvertently DID switch it up. I opened up a new package of my favourite mascara – Maybelline “The Falsies”, if you’re wondering – applied it, and went about my day. It wasn’t until bedtime when I was washing my face that I noticed something different. The mascara did not wash off with my normal cleanser.

Eye makeup after washing with normal cleanser. Eye liner is gone. Mascara remains.

I looked carefully at the tube of mascara, and, sure enough, it was labelled “Waterproof”. Dammit! I was so busy figuring out if I wanted “Blackest Black” or “Very Black” or “Black” that I didn’t notice I had purchased the waterproof version of The Falsies.

Side note: there is no notable difference between Blackest Black, Very Black, and Black. They are all black. Just pick one and stop dithering about it.

I was annoyed for several reasons: I didn’t have another mascara to switch to, I didn’t have time to run to the drugstore to replace it, it was a brand new tube and I feel massive guilt about throwing out something brand new (you may as well throw MONEY in the trash), and I did not have any eye makeup remover in the house.

SPOILER ALERT: I DID have eye makeup remover in the house, but I didn’t know it at the time!

I thought that if I just went to bed, eventually the mascara would wear off. I tried washing it off the next morning, and I probably aged my poor undereye skin twenty years by doing so.

Look at the bags under my eyes! I should probably sleep past 4:30 am sometimes.

After washing several times, even using a soft cloth to scrub, I still had mascara on my lashes, with the added benefit of smeared mascara under my eyes, exacerbating my undereye circles.

Necessity is indeed the mother of invention. This country was built on innovation, hard work, and strength of character. My ancestors did not live in sod houses on the prairie for nothing. As a child, my dad used to get paid to pick up rocks out of the wheat field, and he was GLAD to do it, goddammit. We are a sturdy folk and if I cannot stand up to the struggle of waterproof mascara, then all is lost.

Let’s cut to the chase; if you want to make your own eye makeup remover, look no further than your own kitchen cupboards for the magical ingredient: Coconut oil. Oh, how I love the coconut. Coconut oil is really an amazing thing; it’s delicious and great for cooking but it is also wonderful for moisturizing and hair masks. Since I have quite processed, fried hair, I will sometimes rub a little into my orange straw-like tresses and voila! I feel like a low-end hair model. It absorbs nicely without being greasy, which is nice if you’re uninterested in getting acne or oily hair. It also removes waterproof eye makeup and moisturizes the thin, delicate undereye skin as a bonus.

Steps To Homemade Eye Makeup Remover

1) Take 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon coconut oil.

2) Using your fingers, gently rub it on your eyelashes.

3) Rub for 30-60 seconds, until your eyelashes feel soft and mascara-less. 

4) Use your regular facial cleanser to wash off the residual oil.

5) Rinse and pat dry.

See? This is my face after coconut oil and regular face wash. NO MASCARA. It’s a miracle, a tropically-scented miracle!

That’s it! Easy, economical, and very effective.