Sparkly Unicorns

Over the past six weeks or so, the kids’ classes have been doing something that I think is pretty cool and interesting, and also indicative of how very different this city is than when I was growing up. Each student chose a tradition that their family celebrates, wrote up a paper or made a poster or Power Point presentation about it, and presented it to the class. Not unlike when the classes did their Olympic celebration, it was a real showcase to the multiculturalism and diversity in our school. Predictably, there were a number of Christmas projects – my own two chose that, in fact – but there were also a large number of Ramadan and Eid projects, Chinese New Year projects, the Moon Festival, and even a Diwali and a Greek Easter.

Then, last week the classes had a potluck celebration, in which students were able to contribute traditional foods from their home countries and whoa, nelly. The buck stops here. Now, there were all sorts of delicious contributions planned: biryami and dumplings, baklava and samosas, tacos and pakodas, and many, many more items. I was a little worried, though. You see, I was eager to contribute but I was at a loss as to what to contribute. The children are a mix of Norwegian, Scottish, Slovakian, English, and German heritage. Lutefisck? Haggis? Sausage? Bangers and mash? Some kind of Slovakian food? Nothing sounded appealing to me in the least until finally I decided on gingersnaps. They were my grandma’s recipe, and I make them every Christmas, so…traditional food in our house?

They were apparently popular at the potluck, but as it turned out one of Mark’s friends had brought haggis. Mark tried, and loved it, which goes to show that you really, really never know what life has in store for you.

Speaking of what life has in store for you, if you’re ever feeling down or low in the self esteem department, may I suggest checking out your “other” messages on your Facebook account? These are messages that can be sent to you by random people, and it’s pretty funny. Clearly, there are many men who are looking for love in all the wrong places. Or, perhaps, they are under the impression that if they send enough random women extraordinarily flattering messages, that they will get lucky, like a blind squirrel getting a nut. Here are a few of the gems that I have received in the past few months from strange men apparently looking for entrance into Canada:

“wow you have a lovely smile and i couldn’t stop staring at your beautiful face. i just want to be a friend. i hope you accept my friendship. have a lovely day.”

“hi nicole just to say you look so pretty have a nice day xx :)”

“Hello, I am Oscar. I am 45 year old and i am italian live California. I came across your profile and it would be my pleasure if we can be close friends…”

But my favourite is the one that informs me – via Facebook – that I am the sole next of kin due to inherit $15.5 million dollars from a fellow who shares my last name and has, sadly, died on 8th of May 2011 as a result of a natural disasters of high winds and torrential rains which capsized the boat he boarded and caused the unfortunate deaths of 36 persons including him. Very dramatic indeed! All I need to do is provide some personal information and the money will be in my account tout de suite. It’s too bad that “Charles Dickson, Esquire” misspelled “administrator” in his letter or I would be all over that.

But even more entertaining than Facebook weirdos is the wide variety of internet search terms used for this blog. “Naked Shuffleboard” is a popular one, which makes me wonder what exactly is going on in seniors’ homes these days. Also popular in the past week are the following: “Carlos Santana wife naked”, “wet clothing girls in pond”, and “huge boner”. This must be disappointing for the searchers in question. On a less pornographic note are the following search terms: “whos the girl in the pajama jeans commercial”, “my favourite sweaterdress”, and “what kind of clock is in the diary of a wimpy kid”.

To answer that last question, I don’t KNOW. I’m not even sure a clock features strongly in any of the books but hey, I do tend to blank out a bit when I’m reading those atrocities with the kids. Maybe there is a clock of importance, I do not know.

I also cannot help with the pajama jeans commercial, although I do want to draw your attention to a new product that I happened to see an informercial for: J-Animals. Or, possibly, J-Amimals, since it’s spelled both ways on the website. I’m assuming the latter is a typo. Anyway, this product is a “wearable stuffed animal”. The pajamas are converted from a stuffed animal, and there are five different styles to choose from, to fit people aged 5 to 105. I’m between 5 and 105! Maybe I’ll order a unicorn, photograph myself wearing that, and just wait for the Facebook offers of love to pour in. People love unicorns, am I right?





  1. Ohhhh, the furries of the world are having a Sexy Field Day with those amimals.

    And the first email you quoted from your “other” messages on FB? I GOT THE EXACT SAME ONE. Word for word. He’s a faithless jerk.

  2. I’m going to have to figure out where those “other” messages are.

  3. I would pay good money to see you in a unicorn J-Animals. You should definitely pick those up before Blissdom! As for Facebook – my “other” box was empty! Now I feel rejected by the faceless, nameless creeps in the internet. SNIFF.

  4. Sorry about that message – I can’t help it, your beautiful face traps me in my chair for hours, every time!
    And, um, I just bought my daughter’s best friend a unicorn onesie for her birthday, and now all the mothers are emailing me asking where I got it, so…..sorry?

Leave a Reply