I AM Lady Mary!

Did you know that Bill Clinton is vegan? Probably you did, but it was news to me. Between him and Justin Timberlake I feel like I can make a case to my husband that not all vegans are crazy hobos. Now, how to get them to start reading my Yummy Mummy blog…although chances are neither of them are actually in the kitchen preparing their own quinoa.

Yesterday I was walking the dog and I met up with an older woman who I often see at the offleash. We chatted for a while and I mentioned something about the boys. She looked a bit taken aback and asked me how old my children are; when I answered she told me that she was shocked because she thought I was a 21 year old university student. That was both startling and flattering, although I did wonder a teensy bit if she is in need of cataract removal. In any event I shall take a compliment however it comes.

It is ridiculous, but I’m really into those Buzzfeed quizzes right now. Apparently the actress most suited to play me in the movie version of my life is Emma Stone. Emma Stone! I wonder who the other options are and also how boring a movie about my life would be. Hoo boy! I can’t imagine that being a box office smash. According to Buzzfeed I am also a saucy combination of Lady Mary, Brigette Bardot, and R2D2. I actually think I’m more of a C-3P0 than R2 but let’s not split hairs here.

The other day I was at the hair salon, reading In Style and thinking such intellectual thoughts such as I thought Sarah Jessica Parker already HAD a shoe line, and Eva Longoria looks better without bangs. I came across this advertisement for Guess jeans and I was completely disoriented as to the date of publication.



Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not out to judge anyone, mostly because I probably did have a (less-cleavage-revealing) outfit like this in the early nineties. Admit it, you did too. But in this day and age! Have we learned nothing? Are we doomed to repeat the same fashion mistakes over and over? Denim.Overall.Shorts. What is next for humanity? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

Not to mention the return of the high waisted pants. They are everywhere. Witness this evidence from my local mall:

highwaist jumper YOgapants


We are mere moments away from tapestry vests and pleated jeans, mark my words. ONE DAY SOON we will be going out for girls’ night out and it’s going to look like this:




Speaking of nine-inch zippers, it’s almost my wedding anniversary! We will have been married for twelve years, which – thank you, Lynn, for pointing this out – is our silk/ linen anniversary. I wonder if my husband would like a silk shirt, circa 1991. I’m going to go ahead and guess NO on that one. The modern gift for the twelfth anniversary is pearl. Heh. Feels like it has all the makings of a good dirty joke but I shall refrain. However, notice the jewelry I’m wearing here:




  1. I had overall shorts in the early 90s, not denim but striped (think railroad engineer). I bought them as regular overalls at a farm supply store (we were living in Iowa at the time) and cut them off myself. I loved them.

  2. Nope, no, absolutely not, never again = thoughts I have about high-waisted and/or pleated pants. What’s next? Neon mesh, mall bangs, giant white high-top Reebok sneakers, Jams shorts? No to all of it. The 80s/early 90s need to stay where they belong – far FAR in my past.

  3. Oh, TAPESTRY vests! I’d forgotten about tapestry vests! I wanted one so badly, but didn’t like that they weren’t tapestry in the back, too, so I never bought one. I don’t think I quite understood the vest concept.

  4. Also, I had a denim overalls mini skirt.

    • smothermother says

      i had many denim overalls. the last ones i wore to the woodstock 40th anniversary concert in 2009. or otherwise known as mudstock. i never wore them again.

  5. smothermother says

    i get lost down the rabit hole of the buzzfeed quizes as well. Sandra Bullock will play me in my boring life, i know all of the game of thrones characters, i’m pretty good at knowing sitcom theme songs, family is the most important in my life, i am the goddess Hera, i need to unplug from electronics more. hmm, that last one might be of value.

  6. I am in rather deep despair that I cannot find any mid-rise jeans anywhere at the mall. My favourite pair has actually gotten a hole in the knee and I can’t find a replacement (but just realized – in 1989 a popular girl in our school got infamous for shelling out an unseemly amount on designer jeans that came with a pre-cut hole in the knee, so maybe I should just run with this and suddenly live the popular life I never knew in high school).

    Hope you have a fantastic anniversary! Are you doing anything special? My husband and I usually just get take-out and fall asleep in front of a rental movie, but the longer we are married I feel like the occasion has earned a higher level of celebration. Just realized my own anniversary is next month – maybe I’ll go wild and book a babysitter. CRAZY, I tell you.

  7. I was lucky…in like the first time in years…that my siblings thought that I was cool enough to hang out with them on St.Patty’s day. Anyways, they’re 4 and 7 and 10 years younger…yet everyone thought that I was younger.
    Until I said…”Don’t take a picture with that midget just because it is St.Patty’s day. Listen to your mother.” yup.
    I can totally see Emma Stone as you.
    I had no idea that Bill was a vegan.

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