Skinnygirl Drinks and Kazoo Amazingness

It’s book fair this week, and due to all the lovely women I’ve coerced into volunteering to help me, I do not even feel my usual high level of despair/ regret/ tension that I usually get prior to the event. I’m having a teensy bit of volunteer fatigue lately, and really, I have no one to blame but myself. I’m sure it will all feel worth it when my children have a copy of the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid in their hot little hands; although I loathe those books in no small way, they love them, and isn’t reading for pleasure one of those things we should be encouraging? Even though the characters are revolting and the plot lines a depressing view of society? I guess I shouldn’t be so uppity; I clearly recall reading all the Sweet Valley High books when I was in fifth grade. If there is anything that will give a girl a skewed and unrealistic view of high school, I believe it is the adventures of the Sweet Valley High gang and the inevitable self-questioning: am I an Elizabeth or a Jessica?

Does anyone still have those books? I kind of want to re-read them now.

In addition to the book fair, there are lots of exciting things going on at the school right now. For one thing, in celebration of the school’s fiftieth anniversary, there is going to be a very special assembly at which my children are going to be playing kazoos. Just go ahead and let that sink in for a minute. Kazoos. I’m of mixed emotions about this: gratitude that it’s not a medley of recorder music, undeniable curiosity about the nature of this performance, pride that the children will be involved in such an important milestone, and kazoos. Kazoos! Kazoos.

We had dinner guests this weekend, and so in preparation for this event I dropped the boys off at karate on Thursday evening to run to the liquor store. Normally I sit in the waiting room, reading and making notes and sometimes being sternly reminded by the caretaker to turn out the lights when I leave. I sweetly, yet emphatically, assure him that I always DO turn out the lights, to which he suspiciously makes reference to SOMEONE who is always leaving the lights on. It’s not me! I swear! In any event, on Thursday I peeled out of the parking lot to get to the liquor store and back within the short time frame. I will confess that I was worried I would run into traffic issues and would arrive late to pick up the children, who would be standing in the windy, freezing parking lot in only their uniforms since they insist on leaving their coats in the car, holding their giant bo staffs and frozen water bottles, and my only excuse would be that I was at the liquor store. Happily this did not come to pass.

While at the liquor store, I discovered something called “Skinnygirl White Cranberry Cosmos”, a premixed beverage. On a whim I picked it up, and decided to try it the night before our guests arrived. You know, to make sure it was appropriate for guests. Two glasses in and I was moments away from drunk dialing all my girlfriends to tell them how much I love them. And then my husband came home from work. I’m not even kidding, all this drunkenness happened before my husband came home from work. “I was having a cocktail while I made dinner!” I giggled aloud. “Hee hee, cocktail.” 

All of which is to say, if you see such a bottle in the liquor store, buy it.    


  1. I never did read the Sweet Valley High books, but have you heard of this?

    It’s a novel about the Sweet Valley girls, 10 years later. Apparently trashy and not very good and yet irresistible.

    • I was just going to recommend that title!!!! I picked it up in the library last month, thinking it had been shelved in the adult romance section when it belonged in YA books (And YES, I do actually reshelve books at the local library not so much b/c I’m obsessive but b/c I have very little faith in the clerks who shelve the books there — I’m a snob) & I flicked thru it. It was surprisingly racy! Not S.E.C.R.E.T. racy, but still pretty fun.

  2. I only read one Sweet Valley High book that I found in a house where I was babysitting. It was really bad. And yet irresistible.

    I’ll stick with my PC Peach Bellini mix. I don’t think I’m legally allowed to buy anything called Skinny Girl. 🙂

  3. Steph Lovelady says

    I saw a third-grader at J’s bus stop reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid just yesterday. Neither of my kids has been into those but my daughter reads a lot of books I wouldn’t choose (Rainbow Fairies anyone?). It’s good for them to read for pleasure though, as you said. That’s the point.

  4. I actually took a several second pause to reflect and weigh whether a kazoo concert or a recorder concert would be worse and came down on the side of a recorder concert being worse, but I *may* still be suffering side effects from the two recorder I’ve had to attend.

    Oldest reads all kinds of books, good and terrible. Years ago I had to come to terms with the fact that some of them would be what I consider to be total crap because to do otherwise I’d be being a total hypocrite. I read serious, legal materials all day. In the evenings I find myself wanting to read only the most ridiculous dystopian future/vampire/plague/high fantasy/noir thriller books imaginable. I figure the Diary of the Wimpy Kid books are by 10 YOs version of those novels. The fact that he reads for pleasure is the important thing for me for the most part.

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