Nicole’s Favourite Things: Sears Wish Book Edition, Part 2 – the Old Lady Edition

Normally on Monday mornings when I’m asked about my weekend, I squint a little, trying to remember any pertinent details, when it dawns on me that really, I did nothing of note. But not this weekend! It was action-packed, baby! Kind of – Friday was a day off and so I took the kids to the dentist and then to Colour Me Mine, the unfortunately named paint-your-own-pottery place. Then I fancied myself up to go to my husband’s office Christmas party, which is not even a winter-themed holiday party, but an actual Christmas party where they say grace and everything, which makes me feel slightly scandalized. In any event, it was quite fun and I wore a dress that was not black:

Shout out to Banana Republic for excellent customer service. I would have never chosen this dress had the saleslady not foisted it upon me. I also learned that Banana Republic practices “vanity sizing” – either that or I lost a few dress sizes just walking into the store. I will say this about vanity sizing: it works. At least, it works for me. Even though I know, rationally, that I did not just magically change sizes, that it’s all just a ploy to make me feel good about myself, good enough to buy a dress and then keep browsing, well. I guess I’m so vain. There’s probably a song that’s about me.
When I was shopping for this dress, I saw a woman wearing a full-length mink fur coat, an actual real fur coat. The woman wasn’t elderly as one might expect, but instead a woman my own age. In a fur coat! I was startled by the sight because, well, one doesn’t see fur coats out and about much anymore. Well, unless it’s 1998 and there’s a Carrie Bradshaw sighting:,,20364084_20365543_20781203,00.html#20781203
Photo from Click on it to read fun facts about this coat. “It’s raccoon, and it stank.”
After that I was flipping through my favourite magazine, the Sears Wish Book, and found an entire section devoted to faux furs, made to look like actual furs. In case you’re into the look but don’t want, you know, the real thing.
So many hats. So very many hats. To be totally honest I was a little surprised by the sheer volume of acrylic-polyester-made-to-look-like-an-honest-to-god-old-fashioned-fur-hat items. But then I remembered – the target market here are women that are going to get gussied up in outfits like these for Christmas parties at the home:
I’m totally going to be one of them, you know. Probably I will have the black one. Well, or this sweater with the built in brooch. It comes in black!

Slacks and pumps. Speaking of shoes, I have to say I really, truly love that there is something called shooties and I want this pair in black:

 I’m not being facetious in the least. Those shooties are adorable. So are those Mary Janes! But back to my wardrobe planning for my days as a Golden Girl in the Home.



Nothing says relax like Frankie and this selection of velour coordinates. “Pull-On Pant” is a fun descriptor. So is “velour tunic with detailed neckline.”

I tell you this, though. No matter what happens, no matter what I shall never wear a “Face Framer Fleece Sweater”.

I don’t care if it does come with a “Winter Wonderland Bird” motif. I shall not do it.
How about loungewear, though? I like to think I wouldn’t wear this:


But really, a velour caftan, one size fits most, seems really cozy right now. It does come in black. Perhaps we should embrace the Mrs Roper in all of us.
But here I am, focussing on gifts for me at some age when really, that isn’t the meaning of the season, is it? It’s all about giving, not receiving. I wonder what my husband’s reaction would be if I gave him this red plaid nightshirt.


I’m guessing it wouldn’t be joyful.

Husbands are so hard to shop for, aren’t they? But what about a little something something for some costume wearing, role playing fun?

I have a feeling that if I bought the bottom dress, the result would be no sex ever again. I’d probably have more chance getting lucky while wearing the raspberry coloured velour caftan. I COULD order a elf and/or Santa outfit for Barkley, but chances are he would eat it, and then we would all suffer. I would probably suffer the most.


Speaking of sexytimes, how about a sexy “Ultra-Plush High-Pile Animal-Print Velour Throw”? There certainly is a lot of velour in this catalogue, no? We love our velour. We want to be ensconced in velour, like a low-rent George Costanza. A low-rent George Costanza, hoo boy, that is something to aspire to. But who wouldn’t like an ultra-plus high-pile animal-print on their bed? Tiger? Panda? No, I’m too Canadian for those animals. Give me a snowy wolf or a deer any day.


  1. Love that dress! You look lovely in it as well! My only beef with BR’s vanity sizing is that it makes it really hard for me to order things online. Should I go with my usual size? Or two sizes smaller? When I can get to the store to try things on, I constantly have to bring two of each into the dressing room and even then often get it wrong. While it is a balm to my ego, it’s also confusing.

    I had so many thoughts about the various Sears items that I find I am overwhelmed and cannot choose. However, I’m fairly certain that if I wore anything velour from there, I might as well just attach a sign on myself that says “Husband, I’m hoping to turn you off forever because I no longer enjoy sex.”

  2. This is just comedy gold, Nicole. That dress is STUNNING and you look gorgeous in it.

    I would wear the hell out of that velour caftan. I WOULD.

  3. Holy crap, you look GORGEOUS in that dress – you should branch out ever-so-slightly hardly-at-all from solid black a tiny bit more often.

    If your husband’s anything like mine, I don’t think ANY frumpy Mrs Santa dress would result in ‘no sex ever again’. Maybe if I wore a t-shirt with my ex-boyfriend’s picture on it. Nah, not even that.

    Face-framing fleece sweaters for all my friends!

  4. I love that Banana Republic dress on you – you look amazing! Hope the party was a blast.

    It’s so sad that velour has that kind of effect on men. If only they could all be like George Costanza.

    As for nighshirts – we were watching an old movie the other day and a boy in it came downstairs in the night in his nightshirt. My daughters were HORRIFIED – WHAT IS HE WEARING? The just could not believe this used to be standard sleepwear for the male half of the species. I think I should get that red plaid one for their dad just to prove a point. He’d totally back me up on this, don’t you think?

  5. I love your sears catalog posts! I was laughing so hard my cheeks hurt! I do like some of the shoes, as a matter of fact I have the little black lace up shooties from naturalizer..Witch shoes are back in! lol Second I need me a velvet suit..hell ya! so I can wear it on one of those velvet blankets..Grrrrrr sexy bitch!
    Third..I love your monochromatic dress it looks great on you and Black and white is so on trend for all seasons this year

  6. Straight up Christmas party eh? We hardly see those anymore. It’s happy holidays and here’s a turkey.
    Having a kid makes dressing up as naughty santa and his wife kind of dirty weird.
    PS. I hate Horse face Jessica
    PPS. Are you going to rock out in those pull on pants with a matching plastic applique sweater? Do it.

  7. Oh no don’t pay $39.99 for that tiger throw. I saw Arctic Wolf ones at London Drugs for $19.99.

    And when I thought I couldn’t laugh any louder, then came the Santa costumes. Thank you ever so much, I am jollied beyond may consider this your good advent deed for the day if you like.

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