Snuggie Sex!

It’s been a beautiful, unseasonably warm September, and I’ve been enjoying it thoroughly; it has managed to stave off the sinking feeling of doom that comes with the seemingly endless winter that Calgary generally has. I find winters to be difficult what with my Reynaud’s syndrome and my poor circulation and, well, my love of warmth. Even though September has been beautiful, I’ve been going through my wintery items; new mittens (“the warmest mittens on the market” the salesgirl told me), scarves, sweaters, and boots. My mother-in-law knitted me thick woolly legwarmers and last year I bought a calf-length coat, so I should be good to go. The only thing I don’t have is a Snuggie.

Have you seen the commercial for the blanket with sleeves? Who knew that slipping and sliding was such a problem with blankets? Not me. I’m tempted to get a Snuggie, though, because of this book:



Photo from Amazon

You guys, the Snuggie Sutra! THE SNUGGIE SUTRA. Erotic Fun in Your Blanket With Sleeves. There are just so many amazing things about this – as my friend Jen said, someone wrote this book, someone tested this book, and someone published this book! IT’S ALL VERY MIND BLOWING. I feel like I need this book in my life because how will I go on without it? I kind of love how there is a disclaimer that this book is not affiliated with the Snuggie corporation, but was aroused by it. Why don’t I have this book? There are only 10 left in stock at Amazon, maybe I should just go ahead and order it. My friend Nan thinks that a Snuggie is probably a boner-killer, but I am willing to test this theory. Guess what I’m wearing under this Snuggie. NOTHING.

Who am I kidding? The first thing I would do if I had a Snuggie was probably curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and a DVD of NYPD Blue. Although…that might be enough to get me in the mood for Snuggie sex. There’s nothing hotter than watching Sipowicz threaten to beat down a perp, am I right? Well…maybe not.

I was thinking how much I adore my husband for so many reasons, not the least of which because last Christmas he completely surprised me by buying me the DVD’s for Say Anything and The Breakfast Club. What a guy! I was thinking of watching a little don’t you, forget about me because of this fun little article: 15 Things You Didn’t Know About The Breakfast Club. It’s true, I didn’t know any of those things! You find a way to study, mister. In the physics club, we talk about physics.

Comments

  1. OK, so years ago my mom bought me a snuggie for Christmas. My husband and Oldest ruthlessly mocked me. NOW, however, I have to fight Oldest for possession of the snuggie when we are watching TV in the Winter. It is really really fuzzy and comfy. So, haters gonna hate, but I love my snuggie. That said, there is no way I’m going to defile it with snuggie sex.

  2. I would love a Snuggie. I’m not ashamed. And our bedroom is kind of cold in the winter so I’m not going to lie, I would totally be down with some sexytimez inside the Snuggie.

  3. Most of my comment for this wouldn’t be suitable for a family blog. Let’s just say that sometimes when my husband’s arm falls across me at night, I fling it away moaning “IT BURNS”. Sexytimes are enough of a miracle without adding a layer of Snuggie, sutra or not.

  4. If you don’t want to commit to a snuggy BEFORE buying one, I suggest taking your bathrobe and putting it on backwards. Because that’s what a snuggy is: a backward, beltless bathrobe that makes men’s testicles shoot back inside their body cavity. Or so I assume (with regards to the last bit). Again: I have not tested any of these theories in a laboratory setting.

    Why is it called The Breakfast Club? Why did Brian sign that at the bottom of the essay? Is there a conversation that was cut from the final film version that would make this meaningful? Am I missing a cultural reference that everyone else gets? I think I ask this anytime someone mentions this movie on line. But I’m still waiting for an answer.

  5. Why is NYPD Blue so comforting?! I don’t know, but it is. We’re watching it yet again and are right in the Andy/Bobby sweet spot: no ‘prostrate’ troubles, no cardiac problems, just lots of conversations about Pop the Weasel and beat downs in the interview room. Good times.

  6. Oh snuggie! If only you could see the pages inside that book and the different positions researched for the lovers of snuggies.

  7. I don’t even want to feel what it’s like to live there in the winter. My girlfriend is up in Boyle. Don’t know where that is? Neither does google.
    And it starts snowing there in October. I feel for ya man.
    SNuggie sex…with or without socks?
    Don’t you…forget about me….Ear worm!

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