I said selzer, not salsa!

We took the boys to see Man of Steel yesterday, which means that my husband and I have gone to a grand total of four movies in a theatre since 2005. Three of those are from 2011 and on, so I really feel like we’re bringing up the average here. Annual movies! Man of Steel was pretty good – kind of explosion-y and action-y for me, but after all it is a superhero movie. The boys loved it, even if they were a bit freaked out by the very freaky Coming Attractions. Hey, I realize that we were there for Man of Steel, not some romantic comedy or historical drama, but seriously what is up with the super-violent futuristic trailers?

We were comfy in our seats near the middle of a row, when four women came in and sat down directly beside me. There were ten completely empty rows in front of us, many, many empty rows behind us, and even more seats to the left of my husband. But no, these women sat directly beside me, the one nearest taking up our shared armrest immediately. Is that strange? Maybe my scented lotion was attracting them like moths to a flame? Maybe they wanted to be near my children and their whispered questions and hilariously obvious statements – Is that guy Zod? I think that guy IS Zod. Who’s that guy? I think that baby is actually Superman! – although I cannot imagine why, frankly. I ended up feeling like a princessy asshole as I made my family move down a couple of seats so I didn’t have to share an armrest.

Today is pouring rain and 12 degrees, the sky is dark grey, the house is gloomy, and I’ve been baking muffins and roasting tomatoes in the hopes that constantly running the oven will negate the need to turn the furnace on, today being July 8. What better thing to do on a rainy day than take the children to Costco?

I know what you’re thinking, but actually it was not bad. I haven’t taken the children grocery shopping with me in so long, I wasn’t sure what to expect. It turns out that they were very helpful, if a little too encouraging with regards to buying perfectly reasonable items. “Do we need two of those? Because then we can each put one in the cart!” More often than not my answer was, well…okay. I mean, who wants Costco related sibling rivalry when I know for a fact that we WILL use all that salsa? In any case, I now have enough items in my pantry to guarantee me a spot on that deplorable show about hoarding, or at least to get me through the summer without having to take another trip to Costco.

One small onion in the ointment was our checkout lady. This poor beleaguered woman had the exasperated air of someone who has been doomed to deal with complete morons, now and forever, amen. She sighed audibly several times, muttered under her breath at how she had to tell the lady packing the carts “the same thing a million times, goddammit”, and I thought she was actually going to have a nervous breakdown when a customer pushed his cart too hard which had a domino effect for all the other empty carts lined up, ultimately resulting in her thigh being nudged by one. Poor girl. I’m sure she does have to deal with idiocy on a daily basis, but all the same next time I’m choosing the line with the hyper friendly guy who looks like Ryan Stiles. But not until September, hopefully. We should at least be able to cruise into the new year with our salsa reserves, as I realized on unpacking that we really didn’t need to buy any.


  1. I would have wanted to move as well. I like my armrest. If I don’t have to share it, I won’t!

  2. Why on EARTH would you want to sit any closer to another human being than you had to? WEIRD LADIES.

    I can’t do costco with two children yet. They are too small still and they run amok and put Skylanders toys in the cart while I am trying to remember where the cheese is. Bad combination.

  3. I’ve had to move my seat too and I’m always so confused as to why people would want to get all cozy with me at the theatre when I would rather be as far away from them as possible. Maybe it’s my hand lotion too. 😉

  4. I wanted to see Man of Steel this weekend. But the kids refused & said it was okay if I wanted to go on my own while they went to Despicable Me 2. WAAAAAAH!

    And yes, it’s wierd that they sat right next to you. But I bet your hair smells lovely so maybe that’s the reason?!

    It’s 20 degrees here today and I’m thinking about doing some baking b/c it feels so chilly compared to the almost 30ºC from last week.

  5. I would have moved, too. I *HATE* when people sit right next to me if they don’t have to. Or right in front of me. Or right behind me.

    I don’t go to the movies much because the people, they make me stabby.

  6. Yeah, there is no excuse for sitting right on top of a family when there are plenty of other seats available in the movie theater. It’s inexplicable to me that someone would choose to sit close enough to overhear my kids’ multiple whispered questions, comments, chewing of treats etc.

    On a totally unrelated note, the other week I managed to do something to the clock/alarm/radio/CD player/thermometer contraption we have in our bedroom and it started giving me temperatures in Celsius. Would have been totally lost if not for reading your blog and the blogs of other helpful Canadians. Sadly husband managed to get it back to Fahrenheit a couple of days ago. Now I will never learn the metric system…

  7. I really wish we had a Costco in our town, minus checkout lady, of course.

  8. That is seriously bizarre behaviour – well, except maybe you exude the same lovely-person friendly vibe just sitting in a movie theatre than you do online and everybody wants to bask in the glow of your presence. I get up and move very pointedly if anyone does that to me. Usually my glower is enough to warn them off.

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