Padme and Anakin and the Five Languages of Love

Getting right into the year 2005, I watched Revenge of the Sith on the weekend.  Here’s a little piece of advice: do not watch the violent end of a movie minutes before leaving the house to attend a led primary practice.  You will feel all shaky and NAMASTE, BITCH.  Related: it’s very, very awkward when, at the end of a led practice, you turn to your neighbour to say “Namaste” and that neighbour is looking the other direction.  So, you turn to your other neighbour, who is also looking the other way, but you feel that the first neighbour is now looking at you so you turn your head quickly, only to see that they have already bowed their head to their mat.  Awkward. 
Anyway, Revenge of the Sith!  I loved it more than all the other Star Wars movies combined, which isn’t saying much, really, since I have seen The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones a number of times and yet I cannot remember what happens because I either fall asleep or become completely bored and zone out every single time.  But I really, really liked Revenge of the Sith; it was interesting and fast-paced and compelling.  I have only a few problems with it, and although this makes me feel a bit like those nerds that created “Jar Jar Binks Must Die” webpages immediately following the first midnight viewing of The Phantom Menace, I will nonetheless detail them here.

First, near the end of the movie, the conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan goes as follows:

Obi-Wan: Anakin, the Sith are evil!

Anakin: From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!

FROM MY POINT OF VIEW?  What kind of writing is that?  George Lucas may have well have had them having a twitter conversation:

@ObiWan IMO Jedi = Jerks #haters #SithRule #CheatDeath

Although, it would have been tremendously cool if Obi-Wan had said “Have you tried Hare Krishna?” after saying “Then you are lost.”

My second issue is about Padme’s death.  All this time, I had thought that Padme died a grisly death in childbirth, which, quite frankly, would have been pretty realistic.  But yet, she died of a broken heart!  She lost the will to live!  Padme, you just had two babies – LIVE FOR THEM.  You’re not the only woman who got knocked up by a guy who turned out to be a dick.  I mean, we all make mistakes.  Padme’s was having unprotected sex with a Jedi.  Get over it and mother your children.  Jesus.

Maybe Padme and Anakin should have discussed the Five Languages of Love.  My friend and I were talking about these love languages yesterday, which are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.  We are now, as I told a young friend of mine who is in the stage of life when all her friends are getting married, in the stage where marital issues are starting to rear their ugly heads.  My friend was telling me about a book detailing five different love languages, and how sometimes it seems like your partner is being a jerk, but maybe he’s showing his love in other ways.  For example, maybe sometimes you want your shmoopie to give you some PDA, but he never does.  Instead, he shows his love by always unloading the dishwasher (note: this does not happen in my house.  If my husband unloaded the dishwasher, I would be so excited I would rip off my clothes and have sex with him right on the countertop).  But anyway, our conversation centred around understanding how someone says I Love You.  It was interesting, and it made me think that maybe Anakin was showing his love through Acts of Service (turning to the Dark Side so Padme wouldn’t die, ostensibly), but Padme really wanted some Quality Time.  I don’t know.  Things could have been resolved so differently.

Our discussion around the love languages got me thinking – what love language do I speak?  How do I show my love?  My husband would probably say that I need to work on my Quality Time.  For example, the other night I was immersed in a book and he was talking to me.  Instead of looking up from my book and listening, I had a “mmm, really?” kind of response.  He totally busted me for not listening.  Oops!  But I will tell you about something really nice that HE did that is totally sweet and romantic.  I was talking about how I wanted to go visit my grandma, but I didn’t want to take the whole family.  The next thing I knew, he had booked me a flight and a rental car, and had figured out child care.  If it was up to me, a year later I would still be saying “I want to go visit Grandma…”  Hooray for decisiveness!

In other words, people, I am going on a solo trip!  To Saskatchewan!  I haven’t traveled by myself since 2003, I’m the teensiest bit nervous.  So, I should say, is everyone around me.  I have to drive two hours after flying to Regina, and, given my ability to get hopelessly lost in the city I’ve lived my whole life in, there is some concern that I will end up in Nunavut or, alternatively, South Dakota.  My husband has been busy googling maps and reminding me to take the Garmin, my mother keeps asking nervously if I know how to get to the highway, and my dad is probably hand drawing me maps of the various streets around the airport as we speak.  It’ll be FINE.  How lost can I get?  (Don’t answer that).

So anyway, I’m so in love with my husband, I get to go see my grandma, and I am going to be away from the kids for longer than I’ve ever been, which is causing me a little bit of angst.  I’m pretty excited though – it helps that my kids are going to the lake with my parents, which they have told me is WAY more fun than when I come.  What?  Clearly, their love language is NOT Words of Affirmation.


  1. You are brilliant. For serious. I love how you segued so effortlessly from Sith to Languages of Love to solo travel. Nicely done.

    My husband does a lot more chores than he used to, because he learned that if he did them without being asked, Business Time would happen more frequently. He’s actually pretty good at the dishwasher, and he’s a good cook. Now, if he ever cleaned a toilet I would first die from shock, then come back to life to gasp in surprise, then I’d die again, then come back and a second time and service him in ways he’s only dreamed of, because THAT TOILET IS SO SPARKLY AND I DIDN’T DO IT RAWR.

    I hope you have a wonderful trip, and that you don’t end up in South Dakota.

  2. Favorite parts:

    1. “You’re not the only woman who got knocked up by a guy who turned out to be a dick.”

    2. Love Languages as it applies to Star Wars.

  3. I know! Every time I watch those movies, I cannot BELIEVE that Padme falls for Anakin instead of Obi-Wan. She and Obi-Wan even talk about Anakin as if he is the child and they are the adults. Well, because they are. She and Obi-Wan could have raised the twins together!

    I’m totally Words of Affirmation, BTW.

    • Obi-Wan is hubba hubba. I have a total thing for him, even more than I had for Han Solo. ANAKIN IS SO WHINY. Also, it’s so weird, she could be his babysitter in the first movie.

  4. swonderful says

    This is my favorite thing I’ve read in awhile. I TOTALLY THINK THIS KIND OF STUFF.

  5. First of all, how cute is it when Hannah calls sex Business Time? Second of all, I just realized that I may not have watched Revenge of the Sith all the way through ever, otherwise I totally would have been saying the same thing – dying of a broken heart? TOTALLY DOUCHEY THING TO DIE OF! I was saying this way back in grad school when I had to study The Sorrows of Young Werther, in which a young German man kills himself because of being thwarted in love, which apparently spurred similar suicides all over the country back whenever it was written, in which young men killed themselves wearing the same yellow vest or something. I mocked it mercilessly. My professor was not impressed. In the third place (third? I’ve lost count), your husband rocks. And if you have a Garmin, you’ll be fine. I have considered making out with my GPS many a time.

  6. Ahahahahaaaaaaa. Brilliant segues, all.

    I really don’t think you can get lost in Saskatchewan. You can get a speeding ticket, though, so be careful. It Happened to Me.

  7. BusyMomofTwins says

    Enjoy every minute of your solo travel. Take the GPS and enjoy every moment!

Leave a Reply