First Step (Ask Her Out and Treat Her Like A Lady)

The first step in the kitchen renovation is done!  Does anyone else immediately get Step By Step by Eddie Rabbit stuck in their head after saying the words “first step”?  Or is it just me?  I also cannot say – or listen to – the words “Here’s the situation” without mentally rapping the entire second half of Parents Just Don’t Understand by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince.  If I was hooked up to a brain monitor right now, it would show my mind exploding with both those songs, simultaneously, just from writing those words down.  It’s a good thing I never did my Ph.D., or I would possibly no longer have room in my head for every song lyric ever written. 

In any case, the countertops, sink, and backsplash are now installed in the kitchen; lighting, appliances, and flooring are yet to come.  I think the first step was the worst, in terms of completely inconveniencing everyone.  The first cut is the deepest?  Baby, I know.  Anyway, what the not-so-festive long weekend showed me was that I really spend a massive amount of my day in the kitchen.  When the kitchen was out of order, I descended into some kind of strange sloth and confusion as to what to do now?  But now that we are back in business, baby, I have resumed my normal activity level and am now spending much of my day in the kitchen, but not barefoot and – thankfully – not pregnant.

Which brings me to this point: when one wakes up at 4:40 am, this is what one can accomplish prior to 10:00 am:

Drive to yoga studio and back, practice for 95 minutes.
Feed dog, kids, and self, in that order.
Unload dishwasher, clean kitchen, make beds, pack school snacks.
Shower, dress, makeup, and hair.
Clean bathroom.
Ensure children are adequately dressed, washed, and have brushed their teeth.
Start laundry.
Give self a manicure and check email while the polish dries.
Take kids to school and hang out with them until the bell rings.
Book appointment for husband with a strange online registration program.
Walk dog.

This makes me feel very virtuous, until I realize that when one wakes up at 4:40 am, this is what one can accomplish after 8:00 pm:

Supervise children’s showers and teeth-brushing in a semi-catatonic state.
Tuck children into bed.
Collapse on couch and try to muster up the energy to watch an episode of Mad Men on Netflix.
Go to bed.

What I’m saying here is that I’m really more of a morning person.

Anyway, I’m so pleased with my kitchen renovation and the speed at which I had a functioning kitchen, that we have decided to remodel the bathroom!  And re-tile the front entry!  And re-finish the fireplace!  And lose my mind, apparently. 

For those of you who live in an older home, perhaps you have experienced this problem with renovating: once one thing is changed, it kind of makes the rest of the house look, how shall I say this, in need of an update.  It’s the black hole of renovating, it’s sucking me in.  The contractor actually suggested that my house would be so much more open if I just wanted to knock down this wall…but I shall not think of that right now.  I will only think about the fact that by NEXT THURSDAY my new kitchen is scheduled to be completed!  Right on time for a visit from my in-laws!

Cue ominous music.


  1. Yup, fix one room in an older home and all the other rooms start whining about how they want the same cool clothes as the other kids. It’s aggravating.

    I hear Step by Step and immediately the New Kids on the Block are in my head. I was… a painfully uncool tween.

    • STEP ONE! We can have lots of fun! STEP TWO! There’s so much we can do! STEP THREE! It’s just you and meeeee! STEP FOUR! I can give you more!

      See, I can adapt.

  2. I wish I was a morning person. But I love late nights. And I’ve given birth to 2 night-owls so I’m doomed to never fall asleep before midnight.

    What did you decide about the oven?

    • I did not get a double oven because it just did not feel right. The bottom opens right onto the floor! But the oven I did really like, and ended up ordering, has a convection option. I didn’t really WANT that, but it came with the oven so what the hell. Maybe I will become a total convection oven obsessive!

  3. the J in PJs Til Noon says

    See? My mind went to the SNL digital short. “Step one….” So bad. Happy for your new kitchen! Yay!

  4. Step three, have her open the box…

    Great! Now I also have THAT in my mind!

  5. Well I don’t USUALLY get Step by Step by Eddie Rabbit stuck in my head – in fact had managed to forget all about that song- but NOW it’s in there. Damn. Stupid 80s…

    The shabby by comparison problem is the reason I put off redoing our (ridiculously crappy and dated) bathroom for years until the toilet leaked, ruined the floors, and we just HAD to fix it (and everything else in there). Now other bathrooms look like ass. Sigh.

  6. I have no idea what any of the Step songs are, but now I have I Love a Rainy Night stuck in my head, and I don’t even know if Eddie Rabbit actually sings it. You have to be stopped.

    We have a relatively new house that just has too much crap in it. Well actually, it has too many books in it, which means the other crap has nowhere to go. I live in a crap library.

  7. Oh see, I am NOT a morning person so I could never wake up at 430.

    I’m usually up at 740 and that’s hard enough.

  8. I always sing Step By Step by Eddie Rabbit! Most people seem to have no idea what song that is.

  9. The song references kill me.
    I often think of songs when certain phrases come up.
    I’m weird like that.
    I also have thoughts early in the morning…which only means that I’m begging for a nap by 10am 🙂

  10. Even after all these stressful posts, I am still jealous of your renovation. 🙂

  11. Ha, ha, ha. Glad to see it’s not only me who gets up early and then goes through the night in a sleeping state.


  12. I know all about the black hole of renovating. We are currently redoing our downstairs bathroom, the flooring in my office, and a bunch of outside stuff in the yards. It never ends.

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