Happy, Happy Birthday Baby

It’s my husband’s birthday today!  Ssssh.  He doesn’t like a big fuss made about his birthday, something I totally do not understand since I enjoy wearing a birthday tiara and a sandwich board with “BIRTHDAY GIRL” written on it.  However, he and I are going to Banff for the night tonight – squee – with no kids – double squee!  We haven’t even gone out for dinner, just the two of us, for months and months, and so I’m pretty excited.  Bring on the wine!  Bring on the appetizers!  Bring on the cosmopolitans!  I used to work with a guy who had a date night with his wife every single Saturday night.  That actually sounds kind of exhausting to me, but a night out without kids should probably occur more often than once every six months.

Speaking of Saturday night, remember The Simpsons?  (Yes, I know it’s still on TV, but I haven’t watched it in probably ten years, so this is a dated reference.)

Homer: Saturday night?  But that’s our special night!
Marge: What’s so special about Saturday night?
Homer: What’s so spe…oh, I don’t know.  A little so-called Dr. Quinn?  MEDICINE WOMAN?

For the record, I LOVED Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.

But since we are going out tonight, I baked this yesterday:

Nom nom nom.
The boys made cards for their dad using their brand-new Smencils.  Are your kids into Smencils?  They are very strongly scented pencils made out of 100% recycled newspaper.  The boys worked very hard on these cards yesterday after school, and I inspected them when they were done.  Jake’s had drawings of Ben 10 aliens on it, along with coloured circles for him to smell.  Mark’s had elaborate animal drawings, the animals floating in a sea of bubble gum.  In very small print on the front were the words “Have a happy fart.”
Oh, farting.  It is just so funny.  I really was unprepared, prior to having little boys, for the number of hours I would have to spend a) listening to discussions about farting, b) being in rooms that have been farted in, and c) making up rules that no one, save myself, follows with regards to farting, such as no farting at the dinner table.  I am the only one who complies.  The other day while we were eating dinner, Jake put his chin in his palm and looked at me sweetly.  He smiled softly, and I half expected little hearts to be in the place where his irises are.  “What’s up, sweetie?” I said.  “I just farted.” he replied.  Jake is also famous, in our house, for suddenly yelling “Mom!  Mom!  Moooooooommmm!  I farted, and it did NOT smell good.”  This happens frequently.
His brother is no better.  Mark likes to stand beside me, fart noxiously, and then move away, giggling at my protests.  He also informed me that he farted, very loudly, in his yoga class.  I suppose that happens to the best of us.  After this confession, Jake said, with great pride in his brother’s achievements, “I know!  I heard you! You were so loud!”
Life with boys.  It stinks, literally but not figuratively.

Comments

  1. If it makes you feel any better, a boy and a girl aren’t any better. Eve calls my husband the Fartosaurus, but sometimes I think she’s worse than the two guys put together.

  2. Happy birthday, Mr Nicole.

    Yesterday my 9yo was reading out a problem from his math book. The math book does a great job of incorporating non-WASP names into the book. This math problem involved a boy named Farkan, but my son insisted on pronouncing it as Fart-Can. Poor, poor Farkan — doomed to a life of mockery.

  3. Oh the farting and the smencils. My boys are past the smecils. Out PTO sold them every year for a fundraiser. The smecils lost their appeal but the farting will live on. My 14 year old will be sure to warn me that there is ‘toxic fallout’ in an area and I should stay away!

    I hope you have a crazy fun date night! That cake looks SO good!

  4. The cake looks delicious! And my boys absolutely love smencils. And farting. And talking about farting. And making fart jokes. And…you get the picture. Hope you had a good time in Banff.

  5. Oh I loved Dr.Quinn….shhhh….just don’t go spreading that around ok?
    Have fun in Banff!!!

  6. My husband refuses to acknowledge his birthday and gets VERY put out when I force him to be happy dammit on his birthday for the sake of the kids who are always SO excited. He can go back to being a grump in 20 years.

    BTW, that cake looks scrumptious.

Leave a Reply