A Tale of Two Closets

Well, it’s one closet really.  The other day I was making my bed and I looked up and saw this:
From this view it would appear that my husband has bogarted all the closet space.  All those shirts, neatly hung on the upper tier, meanwhile I have a couple of hoodies squished on the bottom tier alongside several neatly hung pairs of men’s dress pants.  It made me feel a little sorry for myself until I opened the other side of the closet to reveal:

There are three other shelves that look like that.  I think I probably have enough yoga clothes, what do you think?

I probably have enough sweaters, and more notably, enough black tops.  I have an intervention-worthy addiction to black tops.  If one is on sale, I must purchase it.  But it’s 50% off!  I know I have three other v-necked black sweaters, but this one has a pocket! 
I realized I had a problem recently while packing for our trip.  My husband and I were sharing a suitcase, and he had set out the clothes he was planning to take.

It’s slightly different from the pile of clothes I was planning to take.

After I took this photo, I completely panicked and added a third bikini and cover-up, and two more black tops.  My husband, on the other hand, looked at his pile of shirts and took one out, questioning whether he really needed two similar shirts.  I did actually wear all the clothes I took, even though some people have expressed doubt at my need for this volume of clothing, specifically all the similar black clothing.
It was a mere eight days ago that I was wearing one of those bikinis and sleeveless tops.  It feels like longer given that it has been -25, windy, and snowy all week.  We are now at that point where I have completely lost perspective and have forgotten that a season not involving giant boots and coats actually exists.  I have a nagging feeling that we are actually entering the Ice Age, and I keep expecting to look out the window to see a small woolly mammoth taking up residence in my backyard.
The problem with weather like this is that we all become completely boring; every time anyone opens their mouths a comment about the extreme cold comes out, and the worst thing about this is that talking about the weather becomes fascinating in a dull sort of way.  According to my blog, last year at this time I was working in my perennial garden; as I write this the snowflakes are falling from the dull, grey sky and the yard is completely frozen and snow-covered, which makes me feel like curling up in a ball with a blanket, staring at the walls and eating potato chips, which I am NOT GOING TO DO.  Instead, I’m going to focus on the happy.
Last night after several glasses of wine, I thought that if I ever cultivate my blog “brand” and really start marketing my blog “brand” instead of spending all my time writing inane posts about germ phobia, the crappy weather, and my old-lady varicose veins, I have the perfect tagline: “Putting the OM in OMG”.  I thought this was hilarious and also perfectly encapsulated all aspects of my personality and I shared it with my husband, who listened patiently as he usually does when I have a wine-fueled idea.  His response was lukewarm, “I’m not a chick, and I also don’t do yoga, so I’m not sure if it’s funny or not.”  In the cold and sober light of morning, I wonder if he’s right?  What do you think, dear readers?  Funny?  Perfectly “Nicole”?  Or just weird and confusing?   


  1. Chris Demler says

    Nicole you are funny and witty…as with most good blogs it is the personality of the writer that resonates…and you have a wonderful personality.

  2. U should have seen my suitcase when we packed for Vegas. Our suitcase was too heavy and we had to pay extra for it…bass turds.
    I love you

  3. Hahaha.

    I guess it’s all relative. You pack so much, because you own so much.

    We should start an internet meme/contest: Show Me Your Black Shirts. I think you’ll be the winner.

  4. I like your tagline! It reminds me of Swistle’s.

  5. Okay, you know when you discover something or learn a word and suddenly it’s everywhere? That’s happening to me with Swistle.

    I have the same black shirt condition. I think they’re working on a pill for it.

    And if it gets you an ass like yours, knock yourself out with the yoga clothes.

  6. So funny! I keep reading it over and over…putting the OM in OMG…I laugh every time! I think husband just don’t get it!

  7. Mrs.Mayhem says

    It’s a funny tag line! Husbands just don’t understand blogging.

    Thanks for your kind comment. Even though I’m dismantling my blog, I still plan to visit and see what crazy, fun stuff is going on in your life. Thanks for being a good friend.

  8. Your paragraph on the weather had me reading out loud to my husband. Too funny. And too true.

  9. I like taglines that put the ‘___’ in the ‘____’. I think it’s cute and a good idea!

    About the packing…if you think your’s is bad you will feel much better after you see what I pack for my upcoming trip to Mexico.

    I have already planned my packing. I have always said that I have a packing disorder! The thought of not having something I ‘need’ while I’m gone causes me anxiety.

    I will be sure to take a pic of my luggage to share with you. 🙂

  10. I developed a bit of a gray sweater thing this winter. I’m set for hipster sweaters for the next 10 years.

    My husband packs his suitcases oddly, one trip, he’ll bring like 4 times what he needs, the next trip, he runs out of clothes on day 2.

    Get the tagline up on your blog right now, I think it’s great 🙂

  11. My wardrobe would fit into a small suitcase with room for what’s really important – books.


  12. I have a thing for v-necked t-shirts. I just bought every colour they had at Eddie Bauer. My husband’s clothes look like yours – sort of similar. We need stylists.

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