Be Kind Resolution, or How I Resolved to Drink More Wine

In the height of holiday overindulgence last week, a good friend said “I didn’t want to make New Year’s resolutions, but at this point it’s impossible not to.”  I understood.  I’m not generally one for traditional New Year’s resolutions, although I am feeling kind of bloated and sugar high from my own indulgences.  But, as a jovial older colleague used to say “It’s not what you eat between Christmas and New Year’s, it’s what you eat between New Year’s and Christmas”, which is, I think, very astute.  Unless of course your regular diet consists exclusively of Double Downs, Coke, and Sour Patch Kids, in which case a change just may be required.
In other words, I am looking forward to getting back into regular routine next week, one that will contain much less mint chocolate, given that it is quickly disappearing from my kitchen. 
I do have a New Year’s resolution this year, and that is to entertain more, go on more coffee dates, and enjoy wine with friends more.  As opposed to enjoying wine while sitting on my couch in pajamas watching Jeopardy and stating answers in the form of questions, which I’m still going to do.  One cannot make drastic changes overnight.
That’s the thing about resolutions and their high percentage of failure – the rate of which I don’t know exactly, but I would hypothesize it to be 99%.  I mean, who really keeps resolutions?  Well, I did last year but that is because my resolution was to learn how to bake bread, which I did by mid-January, with the assistance of the best cookbook ever, Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day, which I recommend and wish I was getting a marketing fee for the number of times I mention it to people.  Artisan Bread people, are you listening?
Where was I going with this?  Oh yes.  Keeping resolutions.
A little while ago I went to a workshop with this lovely woman, who spoke about compassion.  If you wish to be a truly compassionate person, she said, you need to start with yourself.  It’s true, isn’t it?  Aren’t we our own worst critics?  Nowhere is that more apparent than when you are in a room with people making New Year’s resolutions.  I don’t think that there is anything wrong with wanting to change bad behaviours, or trying to achieve a goal, but can we agree to do it in a more compassionate, more loving way?  Perhaps try to walk more or eat healthier in order to feel better, rather than the standard lose-weight-exercise-more-I-am-a-big-fat-whore?  Self loathing is very destructive, and this is why I think most resolutions are never kept – they are based in unkindness towards oneself.  If changes are needed, implement them with kindness and compassion and joy, rather than punitively.
This is why my resolution is to be with and enjoy my friends’ company more.  My prediction is that 2011 will be a very good year.
Are you making resolutions this year?  If so, what are they?  (Remember: be kind to yourself!)


  1. Love this post. Well I have many resolutions but the main one is to get fit which I am already accomplishing. To try new wines! Lol. To be more patient with things, to love more, to make more friends, to be a better friend, there are so many more but the main one is to take babysteps each and every day to becoming a happier me!

  2. Oh and btw I love watching Jeopardy in my pj’s and always answering in the form of questions! Lol

  3. I don’t usually make resolutions but the other day I decided my one and only resolution would be to not stress about every little thing. I am going to take things as they come and not put so much stress on myself, so I guess I am taking your advice! Lol! Sounds like you have a good plan for 2011.

  4. I don’t make resolutions but I really would love this be the year I lose weight.

  5. I think you make a really good point Nicole!

    I am not making a resolution this year…not unlike any other year. I share the same philosophy on NYRs.

    I do need to get to a healthier body weight though so I did join Jenny Craig…but I started it 3 weeks ago.

    Some thought I was crazy doing it over the holidays but I figured that if I can prove to myself I am able to make healthy choices over the holidays then I am truly changing habits and creating a healthier lifestyle!

    Oh, and I LOVE Jeopardy too! But I am bad at answering in the form of a question…

  6. I tend to think ‘resolutions’ can suck it. I like to work toward goals on a constant and baby-steps basis. And yes, more exercise and healthier eating are in there — but I like drinking wine with friends more too. It definitely takes an effort to break out of the routine, but I’m always so glad when I do. And being more compassionate with yourself is a really good one — probably the hardest.

  7. I do not make resolutions because I like to eat between new years AND Christmas without scrutiny.
    Cheers to 2011. I am so glad to have found your blog. Truly.

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