Adventures in Gingerbread

Well, it’s the holiday season, and you know what that means!

Look at those excited faces. 


I have to admit, I was pretty nervous about the whole thing.  It’s not like I pretend to be Amazing Crafty Mom, but remember last year?

Note the sad, sliding wreath, stopped only by the sad, sliding candy door.

Those yellow candies were supposed to be gravestones.

The window.  The WINDOW.

The cheerful, giant gingerbread man who lives in this shambles of a house.
When I assembled our materials, what kept me going was the thought that it couldn’t possibly be worse than last year.  And happily, it wasn’t.  I followed some advice I received after last year’s disaster: a) Buy a kit that has pre-made icing, and b) buy a kit that has the house already assembled.  Let me tell you, for all who may wish to make a gingerbread house but are as poorly equipped to do so as I am, those two pieces of advice are worth their weight in gold.
I guess advice doesn’t actually weigh anything.  Let me rephrase: those two pieces of advice ARE gold.

The kids happily decorated and ate the stale, crunchy candy.  Things stuck to the house and it looks kind of cute, I think.

It looked cute enough that I set it on the coffee table as a decoration.  I was supremely proud – the house was not hideous, and I had just created Christmas cheer!  Just like that!  The coffee table looked festive and decorated.  But I forgot about the wild card that is my dog.

Barkley’s a really good dog, despite his penchant for consuming his own frozen fecal material and vomit.  He likes to be obedient, and he doesn’t like to be scolded.  I placed the gingerbread house on the low coffee table, looked at him sternly, and said the magic words, the words that work, as will be seen, most, but not all of the time “Leave it”.

Gingerbread to a dog seems to be like crack cocaine to a junkie.  He licked it.  Now, normally that wouldn’t bother me because it is not like we are actually going to eat the gingerbread house given that it could be years old and who would know?  It’s rock hard and pretty disgusting.  I bake gingerbread and it’s delicious, but that stuff that comes in a box from who-knows-where?  No one is eating that.  Unfortunately, once Barkley got a lick of that gingerbread house he needed more.  Just one more hit, man.  Just one.  Then he transformed into a dog who was actually on crack cocaine.  I think it was the coloured sugar pathway I had creatively added to the cardboard.  He started bounding around the living room, wagging his tail frantically and nudging each person with his nose before moving on and nudging everyone all over again. 

I thought maybe I should take him for a walk, which ended up to be the most insane walk of all, with him pulling on his leash and practically pulling me off my feet.  He sniffed the ground in a crazy, uneven fashion which made me worry that I had actually ruined my dog.  As soon as we got home he bowled me over running inside straight to the coffee table where he stood there looking completely bereft as my husband had moved the gingerbread house to the higher end table.  Then he sadly curled up on his bed and passed out.

I’m happy to report he is back to normal now.

Sure, the house looks good.  But look at our attempt at a gingerbread tree. 


  1. Your dog’s behavior sounds a bit like my sons when he gets to much sugar!! Make you think what’s in that candy!! lol
    Beautiful gingerbread house! I wouldn’t even dare to try and make one 😉

  2. Oh I hear you on the trials & tribulations of gingerbread house making. I’ve never had a successful house.

    Yours looks great. I did buy a pre-made one this year but I let my daughter (who is 3) do it herself. It’s crazy looking but I love it!

  3. I had no idea that you could buy a kit with a preassembled house. Really? Where? Where?

  4. Marilyn – COSTCO. It is BRILLIANT.

  5. Your house is awesome, and I like the tree!

    My daughters keep asking me to buy one, but I’ve been putting it off. We’ve made gingerbread houses every year and somehow sprinkles and candy end up everywhere.

  6. Crack for dogs. Too funny.


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