What are they going to arrest me for, being awesome?

Because I’m always striving to be a fun – yet educational – mother, I decided to step up the science experiments and make a rocket out of vinegar, baking soda, and a film canister. I will admit I wasn’t totally prepared for the kind of rocketing explosion that followed and ended with the film canister on my neighbour’s roof. Fortunately no one lost an eye, since my safety precautions consisted of me saying “Everyone stand back!” Maybe I should give them one of those chemistry kits from the 70s, they could blow the house up or something. That would be very educational. Explaining to my slightly deaf neighbour that she had a film canister on her roof was a bit awkward, filled with suspicious looks and a lot of “What?” questions. Then she finished with the question everyone I have told this story to has asked, “Where did you get a film canister from?”

Next time I’m going to try this in a soccer field or something. If I ever get another film canister.

Also on the awesome front, I have stubbed my baby toe violently approximately a dozen times in the past two weeks, and I am just about ready to END IT ALL. MY WORD PEOPLE, my baby toe is suffering. I now fear walking through the kitchen, as if the chair is suddenly going to attack me again. Maybe I have post-traumatic stress disorder. I’m starting to fantasize about taking an axe to the offending chair and then burning the whole thing. Then I – and my poor, poor baby toe – will dance around the fire, singing maniacally.

Speaking of singing, I cannot get the song Empire State of Mind out of my head. I keep singing the chorus with as much heart as Alicia Keys, but with much, much less talent. I sound like someone auditioning for American Idol, the type of contestant hopeful that leaves the audition room huffily saying things along the lines of I’m going to be a star, and you missed out, so take a good look at my face, I’m going to be famous, bitches, while the judges smirk and stifle hysterical laughter.

Just to add to this randomness, I can tell you with perfect authority that the two worst places to have mosquito bites are on a) the arch of the foot, and b) the butt. I have both right now and while I can figure out how I got a) – I have been wearing sandals – I cannot figure out b). Did someone slip me an Ambien and then did I sit nudely in the grass after dark? I don’t THINK so. However, between my mosquito bites and my sad, sad baby toe, and my sleep deprivation – did I mention that Mark’s been a bit anxious about full-day school and so has been somewhat of an insomniac? – I’m pretty much ready to call it a day.

So I’m going to blame sleep deprivation for this completely random and possibly TMI post. Zzzzzz.

Comments

  1. How odd. I’ve smashed up both my shins repeatedly in the last week or so. Maybe it’s a Furniture Uprising. We’ve done the crazy rocket thing. Today we just made soap — the only danger is the leftover lingering scent of plumeria. It’s a little strong.

  2. Hahaha! I like to do cool science experiments too. I had some leftover ph strips and I thought it would be so cool to show the boys the different colours they’d turn in different liquids. They weren’t as impressed as me. LOL

    Have you been to the Discovery Hut in Chinook? Science kits galore there. We’ve been there once and my hubby declared that is his favourite store and we must travel ALL THE WAY down there every time we need to purchase a birthday gift. I told him he is welcome to do that.

    Your poor pinky toe! I don’t know if you are taking suggestions, but I must offer one – ignore it if it annoys you. 🙂 Wear some runners in the house for a week or so and let that baby heal up. It’s supposed to be cold enough for runners anyway, right? 😉

    I hope that you get some sleep and some pain relief and itch relief. I definitely agree. It SUCKS to have a mosquito bite on the arch of your foot. Ugh.

  3. Oooh! I also heard that diaper cream takes the itch out of mosquito bites. So if you still have any of that laying around, give it a try. 🙂

  4. Mrs.Mayhem says

    Funny about the rockets! My son & i made a similar rocket one day. We were telling my husband about it when he got home from work, and he really kinda freaked out about how dangerous the rockets were (and how irresponsible I was!). I got a bit huffy about the entire situation. It’s not like it’s against the law, right??

  5. I always wanted one of those chemistry sets. It’s kind of amazing the things they sold to kids. I wonder if I have a good substitute for a film canister…

  6. I like your blogs when you’re on little sleep ;0)
    And, that is the best title for a post I have ever seen.

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