Are we there yet…are we there yet…are we there yet…

I spent nine and a half hours in the minivan today! We’ve been on vacation for the past week, and this morning we left at six to get a nice early start. After less than four hours of driving, we pulled into Golden BC, which is approximately three hours from home. Wow, we said to each other, this is a record! Less than four hours to Golden! We’ll be home so early!

Immediately after that we came across a tragic, horrific accident that subsequently shut the highway down for over two hours. This is where my number one piece of parenting advice becomes relevant in the extreme: ALWAYS HAVE EXTRA SNACKS.

So, nine and a half hours. What is it about car travel? It’s not strenuous. I spent the time sitting, basically, and alternating between doling out sandwiches, changing DVD’s, and occasionally stretching around the back seat to retrieve errant Bakugan balls. It’s not that challenging. However, I look like I spent the day pulling a rickshaw containing an entire family in the middle of the rainforest: tendrils of hair wildly escaping the ponytail, harassed and exhausted expression on face, clothing inexplicably stained. I looked in a mirror and gasped a little, startled. Plus, there’s the little matter of the pimple.

On my (very lovely) vacation I developed a pimple on my jawline. Big deal, right? I would not have cared, really, except that Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless pointed it out to me. “What IS that horrible blemish on your face?” I don’t know about you, but if I notice a pimple on someone’s face, I most certainly don’t comment on it. I don’t know. Maybe that’s just me. Then, in a misguided attempt to soften the blow, the comment after that was something to the effect that I have a lovely complexion, really, except for the horrible blemish. Like instead of a pimple I contracted a particularly horrible strain of leprosy and was suddenly missing my nose.

Anyway, my vacation was lovely with the exception of the pimple and my irrevocably damaged self esteem. There was much sunshine and beach time and enough delicious food and beer to make me think that perhaps I should go on a cleanse to counteract all this eating, drinking, and being merry. I shall tell you all about it but for now I am going to relax with a glass of wine. Perhaps I will start that cleanse tomorrow.

Comments

  1. You have a wonderful way with words! Exactly what I look like after a long car ride too.

  2. I always wonder why I look like I look so disheveled when I’ve been driving for a long time too. What am I doing that makes me look like such a wreck? It’s a mystery.

    I really think people should keep the blemish comments to themselves. Really. Otherwise their own blemishes are fair game.

  3. We were in that very same line outside of Golden. Plus, the crash outside of penticton last week? I got to wait in that line as well.
    Glad to hear you had a good time!

  4. Why is it that blemishes always show up exactly at the worst times?? I always wonder about the people who would comment on one… they must have had entirely spot-free life.

  5. Subspace Beacon says

    As soon as I saw the mention of Golden BC, I knew what you were going to allude to. That stretch of highway is treacherous.

    My version of Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless would never say such a thing. My Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless would say, “If I had a blemish on my face that was as unsightly as the one currently on your face, I would spend the rest of the day in bed. You are so very, very brave.” My Someone Who Shall Remain Nameless is a bitch.

    (And now I’m going to finish up your meme!)

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